#shitty guide

bonus pic of a very narcissistic mod car 

Ah there are so many things to do! If you can stay a little longer!I’m making you a lil list with different categories:

Museums/Exhibitions:C/O BerlinHelmut Newton FoundationMartin Gropius BauBerlinische Galerie Deutsches Historisches MuseumKulturforumContemporary Fine ArtsKW Institute for Contemporary ArtHamburger BahnhofSammlung Borosme Collectors Room Berlincarlier / gebauer König Galerie DITTRICH & SCHLECHTRIEM

Food (Restaurants, Cafes and Bars):Umami Monsieur VuongDudu31Ryōtei 893Kuchi Goodtime GrillWINDBURGERLamazère- Brasserie What do you fancy love?Blumencafe An einem Sonntag im AugustREZAKitty Cheng BarBONBONBirgit&BierMelitta Sundström 

Clubbing:ChaletKater BlauBerghainFarbfernseherGolden GateHumboldthainIPSEL.U.XRitter-Butzke

There is obviously a lot more to do, also depends on what you wanna do/what you are into. Hope this helps

Ps. Try and avoid the tourist spots and don’t be an annoying tourist

I asked my friend Oreo if I should do this and they said yes so this exists now YIPPEEEEEE

SO. You have a character you like (or despise, can be either or tbh) and you want to give them a nickname, but not something cute like "the silly" or "lil goober", no. You want to give them a nickname like "Cabbage Boy" or "Cardy G", or something that, if they heard you call them that, they'd probably kill you. Lucky for you I'm here to help you with this 👍

PART 1: Choosing a Character

First up you need a character, for this I'm going to be using Cardan Greenbriar from TFOTA (+ some other characters as examples for other things) because he's stupid and also perfect for this, but you can use just about anyone since the only limit for this is your own imagination.

PART 2: Clinically Asses the Character

Now that you've chosen your character, you want to do a little deep dive on basically everything about them. What do they look like? Are they stupid? Silly? Stinky? Analyse them like you're looking at them under a microscope to figure out the parts of them. You can also write down anything you think is important if you want to, but it's not nessecary.

PART 3: Think of Stuff That'd Fit Them

So, now that you know everything you need to know about your character of choice, it's time to get thinking. Some characters have really clear look-alikes like Hiyori from Ensemble Stars, as proven in the image below

While others have things in their personality or name that can be used. For example, Cardan is incredibly stupid and really good at falling down stairs, so names like "idiot fae" and "professional stair faller-downerer" would work and can be used interchangeably, but there's one name that is just so bad it works perfectly...

PART 4: Finalising the Shitty Nickname

There can be a lot of nicknames in your head that'd all work perfectly and yes, you can use multiple nicknames, nobody is stopping you. But sometimes there's always that one nickname that outshines the rest... In the case of Cardan, it's "Cardy G", an unholy hybrid of his name and Cardi B. It's terrible and stupid and so utterly perfect for him.

PART 5: The Timeframe

Now, if you can't think of the perfect nickname right away that's completely normal, these things can take time. Hell, Cardy G only came to me a few months ago when I'd known of TFOTA and Cardan since 2021 (I had to trawl through so many dms to remember when I read it bc it feels like it wasn't too long ago that I did read it... damn those books were good). If it takes you a while to come up with a nickname don't worry too much, it will come to you eventually, and maybe it won't, the brain's a mysterious thing. But as long as you're subconsciously thinking about it it'll probably be doing its best trying to work smth out.

THE FINAL PART: part final