#shitsilver

Isn’t taboo worse than scandalous????

In a sea of unoriginal romantasy books that feel a lot like a stack of tropes hidden within a trench coat, this one is no different. In fact, it may be the least original of all. There was simply nothing likeable about this book except the two little words at the end of my kindle: book completed.

A MMC who has shadows and tattoos? He's tall, with abs, and dark hair? Morally grey and a faerie? Wow! Nothing new there. Instead of being a few centuries old, however, this time he is 1700 years old - although you wouldn't know it as he demonstrates the same immaturity of a horny teenage boy.

The FMC is in her early 20s and after getting sucked into the magical faerie world by awakening quicksilver, she's deemed the greatest Alchemist in existence. There are no others. There is nobody to train her - but get to work on making relics, won't you? Oh, and she doesn't like dresses. Only pants for this badass. She can only kill in pants.

What follows is 600+ pages of absolutely dire dialogue and juvenile monologues inside the FMC's head. She hates the MMC - Kingfisher. He can smell her arousal, of course. Then they have sex. Then discover that she's his mate, which he already knew and didn't tell her. It means they both get magical tattoos and can talk mind-to-mind. Damn, this sounds familiar!

Then we get introduced to some once-faeries-now-vampires who are the bad guys and led by the fearsome Malcolm who likes to monologue. And suddenly we need witches, but they haven't been seen for over a hundred years. Thankfully, just a few pages later they have been found and one agrees to help them. Phew!!!

Before the final showdown with the (shock) THREE villains - the Triumvirate, as they're randomly named once - everybody has a moment to perform a long monologue and they border on comically pantomime.

There were many little things that undoubtedly should have been picked up by editors, especially as this book was originally self-published then entered a bidding war for traditional release. -

Anachronisms such as asylum seekers being used.

FMC not knowing what a fox is, but then knows it has good night vision.

Billows used instead of bellows for the forge.

Mind to mind speak sometimes required speech marks, sometimes not at all.

The use of human to address the FMC sometimes requiring a capital letter, sometimes not at all.

The humans who live in the desert are given a ration of 6oz per day - and that water comes from a run off of sewage. Not only is it dirty, it's around 180ml per person per day. NOBODY WOULD SURVIVE ON THAT!!

The characters lacked any distinguishable characteristics. The romance did not exist; they simply slept together then a mating bond snapped and suddenly they'd die for each other, despite hating each other before hand. There was little plot to speak of.

The author has also written over a dozen dark romance books. I was expecting better sex scenes and yet the same tired phrases were used. Breasts were kneaded, cocks sprang free, cocks were so fucking hard, and the best sex a 1700 year old has ever had is with a woman not long out of her teens.

Once again, an author who has never written fantasy before, decides to capitalise on the success of the romantasy genre by giving a half-arsed attempt at blending fantasy with romance - and in the latter they should have some degree of mastery. What followed was a weak plot, weaker characters, and a lacklustre romance that leant heavily on popular themes in other romantasies.

Will I read Brimstone?

This man is 1730 years old

Am I- am I too old to find any of this remotely flirty?