#shitonmymind

Over the last week or two i have had alot of extra shit dumped on my plate. I recently was issued a letter from child support saying i needed to come up with either A.A job to start paying my due and back child support b.a FAT payment of all my back child support (aint happening) C.a payment agreement to some degree if i did nothing they were going to take my licence. Now before all of this happened i was getting to the point i was paying$100 whenever i could because lets face it unemployment just barely covers stuff i need to pay for and my savings have been drained due to back taxes and other shit. I am still pretty much up on the idea of going back to school i have things set up where i wont have to pay for shit....but before i could even sign up for classes more shit reared its ugly head.After i graduated back in 05 i went to CCC and pretended i wanted to go to school (i really didnt but the woman i was with at the time was very adamant that i did) well when this woman and i split up i figured out that chasing tail smoking pot and getting drunk was alot more fun then going to class so i just quit showing up never cancelled shit never told anyone...to make a long story short i owe $550 just to even sign up for classes now. I dont have that kind of cash and it sucks ass that actions i made when i was 21 are still haunting me, just like my possession of weed charge that was from 06 is still fucking me to this day, i mean employers could give two shits if you have a DUI on your record but the moment you have a pot charge from 10 years ago they want to throw a fit. Anyway i have been forced into a shitty situation do i just work and say hell with school? piss away a perfectly good chance to get a degree in HVAC for i guess free or do i just go and work 2 jobs, pending i dont get hired at guardian glass (that would be full benefits and maybe 15.00 a hour) In my mind if i get hired at guardian thats a done deal i wont even fuck with school i will just devote all my energy into being the best worker there and work to dig myself out of the shithole i put myself in over the half year i spent on my ass unemployed. Either way child support will be payed and life will get better slowly and maybe i can meet my goals i want my own house a nice truck and a feeling that im doing something and leaving my babies a nice life (hope and harper) is it too much to ask for i dont want a 10 million dollars i just want my kids to have a good life and to know that dad did everything he could to make it happen no matter what they’re mom says about me.