#shippingtrek

AU where everything is the same except Spock ends every sentence with an authoritative “bitch”

The Enterprise crew confronts an alien that puts a curse on then which causes them all to revert to their first languages. There’s Russian, Swahili, Korean, Gaelic, and Vulcan from Chekov, Uhura, Sulu, Scotty, and Spock respectively. Kirk and Bones, on the other hand, stay in English, but revert back to their mid western and southern accents and slang. It takes weeks even after the curse has worn off for the crew to convince them to stop acting like cowboys.

Jim is really into working out shirtless and it makes everyone stop what they’re doing

Jim has never forgotten a single one of his and Bones’ anniversaries, despite the fact that Bones thought he would. Bones, however, has forgotten or just plain missed several of them. Whether it was just him being stuck in medbay the whole time or just him flat out forgetting because he was worried about something else. But every time Bones forgets an anniversary, Jim just quickly undoes whatever he had planned before Bones gets back to their quarters and pretends like he was just planning to lounge around in bed or around their quarters so Bones doesn’t feel bad about screwing up his plans.   

Jim has an insanely good memory and it drives everyone around him crazy

Sulu once convinced Kirk to allow him to take a few seedlings of an alien breed of roses so that he could plant and cultivate them on board the Enterprise. Little did Kirk know that Sulu wanted the roses so that he could give them to Chekov. 

One time during their second year at the academy Bones tried to convince Jim to eat healthier. Jim of course had to turn it into some kind of bet, if he had to eat healthier than so did Bones. Both of them ended up eating salads for almost a whole month while glaring at each other across the mess table. They both ended up giving up at the same time right after finals and ended up at a little dive bar eating cheeseburgers. 

Chekov talks in his sleep, he just babbles in Russian non-stop and while Uhura can translate it, it never makes any sense. He denies it everytime someone (Sulu) brings it up, until one day he falls asleep on the bridge and everyone just listens to him endlessly mumbled about random things for nearly an hour.