#shift perspective

New Post has been published on https://theawakenedstate.net/how-to-begin-overcoming-your-fears/

How to Begin Overcoming Your Fears

...the five boxes I emptied and organized last week and not on the three yet to be unpacked and sorted.

...the photo album that is started and not on the unfinished pages. 

...the cleared and vacuumed basement and not on the fact that I did not fully clean the house this week. 

...the laughter that a show or movie brings me while I cook and eat and not on the isolated meals. 

...the cold, rainy day keeping me inside and not on the guilt of not being totally productive.

This week has been a bit....

On one hand, I've had blessings this week I have been very grateful for. On the other hand, I've had a few things that have just made the whole week a moment of "meh".

This is more for my venting needs, so the ranting and elucidations are going to be an expression. They may not equate to my actual emotions, so if I say something offensive or concerning, forgive me.

1. I am so grateful for my Boss this week. He has been very kind and bought me a (pricey) lunch from Longhorn for finding a file that had been missing for a day and a half. He then put me on another task to do, and offered to buy me lunch again if I could figure out the problem. I figured it out, and I think I'm gonna cash in on that lunch today!

2. I haven't had alone time at my place this week and have felt a bit disheveled. My friend broke his phone and needed to stay with me so he could co-use my phone and alarm. He's been extremely helpful, and I love his company so very much. But my anxiety on a man staying at my place is super high right now as my grandmother prefers I not do that and she's already upset with me. Nothing he's done, and he actually makes me more comfortable when he's there. I just need some alone time so I can do the things I need to do and take care of myself.

3. My Grandmother is upset with me because my friends dog, Tater, wasn't in a crate when she popped in yesterday. She found him on the couch (he's a tiny old man dog who is house broken) and is very upset with me over it. She asked me last week to keep him in the crate, and typically I try to, but the one time I left him out and she doesn't want him to come back over ever again.

4. My best friend has been life saving during these cold nights. My heater isn't working, but him being there has really helped keep me warm. Plus, he gives amazing cuddles and like the way he loves on me while I'm sleeping. He kisses my face and rubs me. I love this guy and he is my peace (even if I need space sometimes, lol).

5. I got to have lunch at Gators Dockside with my dad and brother yesterday and it was such a good time. I really enjoyed it and it's something we don't get to do often. I want to do that more, though.

6. My eating choices haven't been the wisest, and my physical activity has been a little less than what I want/need. I know once I get everything off my plate, I'll be able to focus again and really do good for my body. And I can do that today by making better choices every step of the way. If I overate this morning, it's okay. I'll have a clean and light meal for lunch. I'll go to the gym right after work and do a full body workout. I'll plan my breakfasts for the next week, lunch, snacks and dinner meals. And I'll give myself grace in the process.

I know everything will be okay. No matter what, I know everything will be okay in the end. But I believe this week was my very first week of genuinely thinking, "I want to buy my own place. My own permanent place where I am truly away from everyone and everything." It's my first jolt of wanting to buy my own house and move away. And I haven't felt that way in a long time. The impulse to just leave where I am right now and get out there on my own.

Freedom....

Well, when I start feeling like this, that's when it's time to buckle down and slow down. I need to take a moment for me and just....flow. I can separate from my body sometimes to do things, let my brain completely wander while my unconscious body does the activity for me.