#shewantsitall

(yes this is also what I sent @sunachilles I just wanna see something happy 😂)

uh oh you're only getting sad things!

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Whizzer took another sip of his tea. Peering over the rim of the mug, he saw a small, furry face looking up at him. It was Thor, Marvin's family's golden retriever. Whizzer smiled, before reaching down to scratch him behind the ear.

"Hey, buddy."

Clambering in form of argument came from the kitchen, catching Whizzer's attention only briefly. It was most likely about him.

"Yeah, they don't want you here, neither, huh?"

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I'm a whole adult and I'm highly suspicious I might have ADHD... I've been doing research for my kiddos at school and some of the things I've always suspected have become more and more apparent. Plus, after talking with my mom about some of the things that were said to her during my elementary school parent/teacher conferences, I feel like they were trying to give her hints that she just...didn't want to hear them.

I'm doing okay, on the whole, but I'm wondering if the magic of modern medicine might be helpful to me in any way.. so I've been thinking about seeking diagnosis. When I talked to my close friends and family about this, they sort of brushed it off. I've always been this way, so I must be fine. Ever since they've been making little comments when I do things.. lost my keys? Must be the adhd. Hours late getting home bc errands took so long? Must be the adhd. And like... maybe they're not wrong? But it's the condescending tone that's really getting me.

I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth seeking a diagnosis... Do you have any words of wisdom?

Hi Sadie!

I'm sorry it took me so long to answer this!

I've always heard that it's easier to notice and diagnose ADHD in kids, so it would make so much sense that you are starting to notice similar traits/behaviors/patterns in yourself that you see in the kids you work with. I was diagnosed when I was 4 or 5, but I come from a family full of people with ADHD, so it was probably much more easy for my family to recognize.

I'm glad you're doing okay 💕 Having everything explained away as ADHD must be so frustrating. The way you described it sounds like they're just dismissing everything as ADHD, whether or not it actually is. That's really hard.

Some people want an official diagnosis and some people don't. It really depends on you. When you're diagnosed, you're usually given information about ADHD, as well as resources to help you recognize those traits in yourself and ways to approach managing it, which can be really helpful. If you think it would bring you peace of mind and be helpful, then definitely seek a diagnosis.

In terms of medicine specifically, sometimes medicine is great for managing ADHD, sometimes it's not needed. I am unmedicated for it and I have never been medicated for it. Sometimes my brain doesn't want to work, however, and I struggle through those days, but it's not enough of a problem to want to medicate it. And no therapist has ever suggested I take something for it.

Nearly every member of my family on my mom's side has ADHD, and we've never thought of it as a hindrance or a problem. Yes, we can be scatterbrained and unable to focus and hyper, but all of us are creative people and ADHD actually helps us hyperfocus on the things we're most interested in. In my experience, the people who don't know anything about ADHD are the people who think it's a problem that needs to be corrected in order to function in the world (aka make neurotypicals' lives easier because then they don't have to deal with our "quirks" 🙄). It's important, though, that you do come up with methods that work for you to stay on top of it, and that you recognize your own patterns. For example, I'm very forgetful, so I always have to write reminders to myself in bright colors and big letters and leave them around so that I'm constantly reminded that, oh yeah, I have to do this.

[id screenshot of a fanfiction, written on the notes app. it reads;

His customer service smile faltered, just a bit, halfway through his sentence as he got an eyeful of Marvin's costume. I mean, I don't know why he was surprised. He works a graveyard shift at Denny's, for christ's sake. He's bound to have seen worse.

Marvin coughed.

"There'll be about, uh, 15 more joining me,"

All of this to say... Is this a thing you've experienced? I've wondered if this is a thing for other people from the south, but I've been too afraid to ask anyone irl 😂

I’m kinda the other way around—I have more of a southern accent around other people than I do around my family 😂 And I have no idea why. But I didn’t really grow up with a southern accent in general because I went to a private school where no one had one.

Okay so my second job rn involves helping disabled adults with personal care tasks, and once I go back to teaching, I'm going to move to an evening shift, which will involve helping adult men take a shower. At this point, I'm fairly unbothered... two months ago it would have stressed me out, but I've been helping with restroom stuff anyway. I was telling my mom about this and she was kind of flapped, despite the fact that she's a nurse. And I'm like... "Everyone has a body and that's just the way it is? Like. This is not a big deal." And she was in shock. I feel like this is my ace superpower moment 😂

Actually, I read your fic "On the Way to Recovery" this morning and I think, if I remember correctly, you said it was inspired by your job—the fic is incredible, by the way!! I love it!