#shelfthereader

here comes that cold day in july // 8.10 “Voices”

alone edgar allan poe // milk and honey rupi kaur

make it through this hell // buddie moodboard + [playlist]

(x)

I want to do one of those “Follower Events” but I have no clue where to begin??

Current State of the union that I have admitted to myself.

I dare you… to rant about a character who deserved better GO

(lets pretend this hasn’t been sitting for two weeks)

So my instinct was to start yapping about my #emotionalsupportwhiteboy Jason Grace but I doubt I can say anything new about him. Or be able to be coherent since all of his lore just flew through the window. Then I thought Will Solace or Nico di Angelo but they are too obvious (since they were literally Rick’s punching bags). But instead I give you Darrel Curtis from The Outsiders and LET ME TELL YOU WHY (SPOILERS FOR THE OUTSIDERS IF ANY OF THE MUTUALS ARE WANTING TO READ THIS INCREDIBLE PHENOMENAL BOOK)

A/N: To make this as fair as possible, I’m ONLY focusing on characterization from the book. Reason being I’ve never seen the movie so I’m not able to average out the three major lores (book, movie, musical.) It’s only fair if I do either the original or all. Not partial lore.

I’m not quite sure if this counts as “deserved better” but it’s still tragic

I first read this book tthan our protagonist Ponyboy Curtis.

At that age, I HATED Darry. I didn’t sympathize with him, I thought he was a terrible person, etc. All of my energy went into crying for Johnny, and deciding that Pony and I were the same person. I didn’t give a shit about Darry’s actions. I thought he deserved what came to him.

But then, in my senior year of highschool (this year, 2024 for those in the future if this post gets resurrected), I picked up the book again, read it three times in four months, annotated it, and watched the musical. As I’m writing this, I’m rereading my annotations from last month.

Now enough with this exposition, let’s get into my rant about Darrel Shaynne Curtis Jr.

***

Darry's gone through a lot in his twenty years, grown up too fast. Sodapop'll never grow up at all. I don't know which way's the best. I'll find out one of these days. (The Outsiders, pg 10)

Darry was one step away from being set for life- he was a Greaser who could get out. He was smart, he had non-Greaser friends; he had a football scholarship and was set for college.

He was either 19 or freshly 20 when BOTH of his parents get killed in an accident leaving two kids under 18. Naturally, being the soul he was, he immediately gave up his dream to keep his hooligan family together. They all knew that if he went to college it would be over for the family. There’s only so much you can do in Poor-ass, bum-fuck Nowhere, Oklahoma. And Darry does it all.

On top of working stupid hours in stupid conditions hauling stupid amounts of roofing, he has to parent a teenager who knows too much for his own good. This book is written in first person, and while Ponyboy defends his every decision, you can tell he doesn’t have the street smarts his brothers grew up with. And you can tell that stresses Darry out even more, even with the amount of times Pony insults/shit talks his brother.

Does Darry deal with this well? Hell no. I’d be surprised if he did. So much stupid in one week can drive a person crazy (believe me, I know.) Now, I don’t condone smacking children for ANY reason, but I think here, Darry was in that brother/father limbo and crossed into brother territory. Like have y’all NOT smacked your siblings? But went royally wrong here is that because he acts so much like a “father-overlord” to Ponyboy so often, Pony couldn’t even compute the fact that Darry could ACTUALLY act like a brother sometimes. In the park with Johnny, he even compares it to Johnny being hit by his father. Apparently being a brother doesn’t describe Darry anymore

The REALLY heartbreaking part is the reunion after ✨The Fire✨. When his “Alpha male, if I don’t feel anything it would be better for all of us” facade shatters and he just KNOWS that he inadvertently causes everything after page 58. That’s another burden that no man should EVER carry.

It took a murder, a fire, a rumble, a death, a suicide, a three-day fever dream, and Soda running away for Ponyboy to finally understand what Darry does to keep him safe and I think that’s the most tragic thing of all.

Am I just talking in circles? Probably. I’m never coherent when talking about my traumatized characters.

As a treat for staying the entire length of this essay/incoherent rant, here are the bones of an Outsiders playlist I’m making.

OOOO YES YES YES!! (Brings up my Google Doc! And some of these aren’t on the doc since they aren’t Percy Jackson related)(now you people get to see my ao3 history)(thinking about changing my name + PFP so you can’t tell it’s me)

Percy Jackson

Dawn Rises from the East by @tsarisfanfiction . I have it under good authority that I’m half of those hits.

Dear Reader by @wrongcaitlyn . This fic OFFICIALLY introduced me to Lizzy, Gracie, and Phoebe’s music

it’s just our bringing up that gets us out of hand by ma_lar_key on Ao3. I first clicked it because the title is LITERALLY a lyric from West Side Story but I’m obsessed with it all

Senior Year Cliches by @no2ticonderoga . My favorite Senior Year/High School AU that follows canon (for the most part)

^^ These have all been read at LEAST three times a piece (sometimes more, depending on if I read the PDF at school during studyhall)

Now we’re gonna get into the fics/fandoms that I never talk about because, contrary to popular belief, I do (sometimes) care about my digital footprint

Marvel

See You as You Are by Wholocked96 - curiosity killed the cat with this ship (Sam Wilson x T’Challa) and now I’ve read it four times