do you know that there’s one surviving original cast member of oklahoma, bambi linn (aggie)?
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do you know that there’s one surviving original cast member of oklahoma, bambi linn (aggie)?

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Discussing Teen Pregnancies with Grandma
Grandma: just kpip.
Me: …
Mom: *laughing hysterically*
Grandma: you know, keep it in your pants. *under her breath* kids these days.
so i called my grandma to wish her a happy mothers day, and for the first time ever she didn't understand who I was. so that was weird and upsetting. *lays down*
Im lauhgign because lots of my reaally REEEAALLY old great great aunts keep adding me on Facebook and I???? who r u?? My dad barely even remembers these people I've never met them they live in Manitoba oh my god I curse a lot on Facebook im s o soorryy??
it's going to be a terrible, terrible day when Betty White dies...

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my great gran broke the tv and blamed it on me
Topics Discussed at my Grandmother's 91st Birthday Party
Dogs
Oma and Opa's pig farm
How my aunt used to ride the pigs
How Opa bought my aunt a horse so she wouldn't kill herself on the pigs
How my father spent his childhood as a sassy delinquent
Oma wanted more vodka
Reasons why Oma shouldn't have more vodka
Joe's sex life
Objects we've accidentally hit our boobs on
Possible reasons Joe was singing Sinatra
Susie's adventures as a flower child
What chickens would sound like in a blender
Reasons not to keep me laughing for hours to make my hiccups never end
Reasons why Joe was going to tickle me to keep my hiccups going
Embarrassing baby stories
Bath salts
Blondes have more fun because they're easier to see in the dark
My killer turtle
The Good Old days
Oma's disappointment with my excess French heritage
Reasons why Oma can understand me perfectly when I speak French
She couldn't have been happier