#she li

She Li stepped around so GuanShan could see him. His big stupid eyes looked up at him for help. “A-a cat s-scratched me!” He hiccuped through the words before he began to wail again. His skinny body curled tighter in on itself.

She Li stepped forward. His little hands grabbed both Mo’s hair and his wrist, pulling it away from his face. “Let me see.”

“Ow!” Mo’s gross face blubbered disgusting fluids at him. He struggled against She Li, nearly knocking the boys over. “Mom!”

A sharp tug on his hair had Mo listening better, “shut up and stop moving.” When Mo GuanShan settled he inspected the damaged cheek. Three parallel red lines ran across his freckled skin, from the corner of his lip to just short of his ear. Small pearls of blood leaked out of several spots along their paths. His hand dropped from Mo’s wrist, the fight gone from him now, so She Li could touch the blood with his fingertips. He trailed them across the scratches, collecting red into the grooves of his fingers. The color against his translucent skin made his body feel strange. Without resisting the thought, he dug his thumbnail into the open skin, trying to make the lines bleed more. He heard the boy protesting under him but it was like he was far away or speaking under water. His fist latched onto red hair and held the other boy in place, allowing him to collect the blood again, digging into the layers of skin.

Eventually he pulled away. Mo’s face was smeared with blood, the red color turning and texture becoming tacky. She Li controlled himself enough not to lick it off. Even he knew there were things he couldn’t get away with. The questions were still there though. Did Mo GuanShan’s blood taste any different than his? Mo GuanShan felt so much compared to his so little. Would he be able to taste the adrenaline? How much could he push him? A dark part of She Li wanted to dissect Mo GuanShan like a frog from science class. But he didn’t. He always resisted.

“Do you want me to kill the cat?”

Mo stiffened, “what?”

She Li let go of the other boy completely. Slowly he squatted in front of Mo GuanShan so their eyes were level. He waited until the ginger focused on him. “The cat who made you bleed. I’ll catch him for you.”

Mo GuanShan’s eyes dropped. It made She Li angry. Look at me! “No it’s - it’s ok.”

Gently, he put his hand on GuanShan’s other cheek, lifting his eyes. “But it made you bleed. It deserves to be punished.” Only I can make you bleed.

“No! She Li, I’m ok.” Mo smiled at him reassuringly and it gnawed at him. This boy with his stupid smiles while the world shit on him again and again. His face was blotchy and red. His freckles stood out even more thanks to the unique pattern. His eyes and nose were red rimmed and raw from crying. Fear. Pain. It radiated from him so freely, absolutely unfiltered.

It was beautiful. His beautiful disaster.

Somewhere inside She Li knew he should have felt differently. He should be sad or feel guilty for what he put Mo GuanShan through but he wasn’t. He liked him like this. This felt right.

He liked being the one to find him broken. So sharp Mo GuanShan scared away everyone else except him. He’d always accept Mo GuanShan. He’d rebuild him, putting him back together like a house of cards. Something about stroking Mo GuanShan’s broken edges made him feel more alive than any drug. There was a risk of a paper cut and that burn was always delicious. Most importantly, without fail, GuanShan would always fall apart again for him.

Just for him.

~~~~

She Li smirked to himself. The memory was a small but sweet one. He turned to the redhead next to him. The redhead sat playing cards along with the rest of the gang on one of the roof tops in their neighborhood.

If you knew where to look and he caught the light just right, you could still see three small lines glittering on GuanShan’s cheek. She Li’s fingers reached out before he could stop them. The scars healed so flat he couldn’t feel them under his touch. A pity.

He could fix them.

No one here would stop him.

She Li was fast enough. He would grab his face and push him to the ground. Mo GuanShan would be dazed of course, easy to get on top of. Then the best part would start. Mo GuanShan would fight. He’d try to buck him off, hips trying to throw him. She Li would pin his arms down above his head first, throwing his whole weight against him. That way Mo GuanShan could feel him. All of him. On top, holding him down against his will.

They’d struggle but eventually Mo GuanShan would soften under him, done working himself up. How predictable this foreplay was. He fought just enough to convince himself to give in. Whatever She Li wanted he knew would come regardless and he didn’t want to make a scene. No, not in front of everyone. So he’d let someone hold his arms down, as She Li settled on top of him. He knew the weight was grounding, forcing Mo GuanShan’s mind to stay here, with him. The pain would remind him of all those years ago. Nostalgic.

His blade wouldn’t be sharp enough to make it easy but they would make do, puncturing GuanShan’s skin with its tip. She Li’s blade would retrace the cat’s claws, opening those glittering teases. They deserved to be seen clearly. This little memory of theirs. He wanted to feel them under his thumb when they healed, puckered marks GuanShan would finger when he was self conscious. She Li would remind him how cute they were, how special.

Scars make you unique. Beautiful. Art.

Paint across canvas.

This time the red would run like Mo GuanShan’s cheek was crying for him. His fingertips would turn tacky so rapidly, it would make a part of him nervous. Was it too much? A dark voice would answer, never. Observers be damned She Li would taste him. First with his fingers. He’d suck them greedily after running them along GuanShan’s jaw. It could never be enough though. He’d lean down and take from the source. His hands would hold Mo GuanShan in place like a good boy as he took from him. He’d fill his mouth with it. Maybe he’d even let GuanShan taste how right he was, their fluids combining.

Mo GuanShan would act offended but She Li knew what was lurking there. It was exhausting always moving in their dance but the end result would be worth the effort. His dog would resist and refuse but his eyes would darken slightly. The boy who wondered dark thoughts at night would flash there for a moment. He may have tied himself into knots over it but Mo GuanShan was eager to learn how to please. She Li could see it. And there was nothing he loved more than cracking a tough guy mask.

Mo GuanShan would be special though. The one he’d been slowly working up to. Their relationship had been carefully curated and cultivated over years. Each correction and praise leading up to it. His day. When She Li would decide to take him, finally breaking him entirely. He would show him exactly what he was made to be, She Li’s properly trained pup. No thinking. No speaking. Just serving him.

“Y-You ok dude?”

Mo GuanShan’s concerned voice pulled She Li from his fantasy. “Yeah. You just have something on your face.” He reached across and brushed his thumb over the small scars again. Soon. He’d make them beautiful soon.

“Oh. Uh. Thanks.” His eyes drifted away from She Li and back to his hand. She Li’s gaze didn’t move. He wasn’t dealt in. They knew better than to ask him to play.

He was busy playing a different game of his own.