#she is without limits

c r y ♥♥♥

Vanessa/Ethan, where do I begin? idk how to capture this well and succinctly! they’re a pairing that I didn’t EXPECT to captivate me so much, and then they quickly turned so many of their initial tropes inside out. you think she’s this mysterious, perhaps slightly aloof, determined Lady, and he’s the masculine, American, gunslinger with a troubled past - their first interaction, when he's sort of glib, calls her “darlin’,” and she just READS HIM, and then he asks, “You have a name?,” and she replies, “Yes,” with that enigmatic smile and walks away! then it’s like - actually, she is boundlessly empathetic and frighteningly perceptive, and she’s suffered horrific trauma, but it doesn’t define her, and she forges on through the dark, and he admires her for it. he is fascinated and impressed by her, and he’s wildly loving and surprisingly soft and not closed-minded (about her intellect, about the existence of the demimonde, about the tasks ahead of them). they’ve both suffered abuse, had their entire families stripped from them, both been beset by violence and darkness, some of their own making, and they’re drawn together electrically and yearningly. they both ache for a place to belong. (also, the Iconique bi aspect of the two of them, and never once do they judge each other for all that they know and uncover about their true selves. Dorian being infatuated by both of them? he’s ~problematic~, but you can’t say he doesn’t have taste). they both have monstrous aspects, yet in one another nearly find salvation. (that he says to her: “We are not like others. We have claws for a reason.” and she says to him: “Whatever you have done, whoever you have made yourself, I'm here to accept you. We're together for a reason.” I---!!!!) the fact that he manages to drive the demon back when she’s so terrifyingly possessed. when she asks if she can sleep in his room because she’s afraid, and you realize they give one another safe harbor. EVERYTHING in “Little Scorpion” when they go to the moors together. (has chopping down a tree ever been more symbolically loving? the discussion about their childhood fears! the fact that he teaches her to shoot, and she teaches him to dance! the way they fall into easy, comfortable patterns together, despite their terror and sadness. “Do you ever think what it would be like, to be like other people?” “Normal people? I try not to.” the score used for their waltz is one of my favorite pieces of music from the soundtrack.) the prompt said to not talk about missed potential which is HARD with them (the Wolf of God/protector thing was such a cool concept), but what we got on screen was so beautifully matched, they were like watching a dance, in and out of the shadows and light, magnetically drawn together, wishful and wistful. they both longed for connection and safety desperately, they were tender to one another in a world where they’d been brutalized (and it had “made us brutal in return”). that dream she’s forced to see at the end of S2 being suffused with warmth, and knowing how much she craves it, and seeing her turn it down for the sake of her own soul. the letter he writes to her tearing my heart out. (“your many kindnesses I will always carry with me. such generosity has not been a part of my life, and I thank you for your affection and understanding. in my most frightened and lonely moments, you were there, and such light you brought to me.” ARE YOU KIDDING, THIS IS MY WEAKNESS.) the IMPECCABLE Gothic Romance vibes of it all. it is very hard to effectively capture that and not lean too far into melodrama or to not feel like a facsimile of other Romantic couples, and especially since Penny Dreadful utilized characters and stories from preexisting media, they could’ve fallen into that, but never did for me. maybe because Vanessa and Ethan were both original characters? but the writing for them, the way they were more mirrors than they were opposites, the quiet and peace and understanding they found in one another, the way they became found family (the found family aspect of Penny Dreadful in general is a LOT) and never-quite-lovers, a missed breath away from their hearts being joined. I love them both so much and I’m sad about them forever.

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ELENA, my best girl, my forever girl. I love Elena for a lot of the same reasons I love Dean, I can’t actually acknowledge her without saying that? they are closely related for me and have a lot of trait overlap. Dean was a part of my life for four years before Elena was, and Elena is actually another flickering flame that came into my world at the absolute lowest, ugliest point. seeing her as this young woman who is floating in grief, and yet still shines as a beacon of humanity with a recklessly brave and loving heart. her depression is really important to me and it gets dismissed or twisted a lot by people who unfairly decided to hate her, but it’s such an important aspect of her and about the way she’s moving though her life and coping. she is so compassionate, yet also able to be cruel and knife’s edge sharp. she suffers and is allowed to show that, to feel it. we see her begin to wake up out of the haze of loss and we see how many times she traverses the edges of it. she’s clever and tactical, but also makes impulsive decisions. she struggles and she’s self-sacrificing, to her detriment at times, and often despite others’ demands and even manipulations. she’s loyal, yet cunning. she’s radiant in a way that enthralls and draws in those around her, including the monsters (especially the monsters), and she herself is seduced by that other of the world. they say she’s a “special girl,” but it’s not because she’s a doppelgänger, she is NEVER a copy of a copy, she is fiercely her own. it isn’t her magical blood that makes her special, it’s her essence and the spark that makes her who she is. she got to be ruthless at times, she lashed out, she broke down (the scene where she burns the house down is inscribed in my brain, and it’s been years now since I rewatched TVD), but she also exuded joy and hope. she’s just so, so human and so made of love - its goodness and its darkness (again, the Dean parallels). and Elena has one of the most important lines from a show that has always stayed with me - her version of “I do my best to be brave” - “I’ll survive. Somehow I always do.” it isn’t valiant and it isn’t even remarkable, per se. it’s laced with sadness. yet she survives and withstands and keeps her heart open anyway. she always comes back to herself.