49 'It's okay to cry' Ontae âĽ
Taemin hums Jinkiâsfavorite song as he throws the butter onto the pan. âHyung,â he calls. âIâm makingchilli mushrooms. Just the way you like them~âÂ
Morning light is streaming in fromthe windows and heating the top half of his face. He closes his eyes and takesin the smell of frying spring onions, sighing with satisfaction. Any minute nowthe other will rustle out of bed, stumble into the bathroom, and then drag hisfeet along the carpet into the kitchen. Taemin waits for a pair of strong armsto close around his waist and squeeze until he groans.
He flips the punnet ofcut mushrooms into the pan, stirring them around to coat the butter on all ofthem. He isnât the best cook, and he has his fair share of burns on the insideof his palms. But a few months of experimenting on the stove have given himsome interesting recipes to perfect. And Jinkiâs all-accepting apatite was abig help.
âHyuuuung~â he callsagain as he seasons the dish with chili flakes and salt. âCome on, itâs nearlydone,â he announces. When heâd opened the fridge earlier it was empty enough tomake his stomach growl. He makes a mental list to do a grocery run later todayso they have enough for the rest of the week.
Once he switches thegas off, he takes out two clean bowls to serve it in. He spoons a little extrainto Jinkiâs because he enjoys the way the other hums and moans hiscompliments. Truthfully, itâs the only reason Taemin bothers with cooking atall. The satisfaction on the otherâs face is worth all the trouble.
He takes the bowls tothe table and brings out a pair of forks. âHyung?â he calls a third time. âIfyou arenât here in another five seconds Iâm eating your share, too, OK?â heteases. He goes back to the table and places the forks beside the bowls, andfrowns. Because Jinki hasnât answered or made a single sound all this while.
âHyung?â he asks,going to the front door to see if the otherâs running shoes are gone. Sometimes the other got up early to jog around a park nearby, only that would explain thesilence in the house. But then Taemin looks at the shoe stand and notices all ofJinkiâs pairs are gone, just like all his clothes are packed in big boxesmarked His in a shaky hand.
His shoulder knocksinto the wall and he skids down its height because then he remembersâthere isno one else in this house. It has been half-empty for a long time. The tabledoesnât need to be set for two anymore, the bed doesnât have to be made on oneside, the shower doesnât need to be turned on âhotâ for its second occupant because.Because Taemin is all alone.
And suddenlyeverything comes to him clearly, like condensation wiped off of his glassy vision.Everything is a mess. The dishes are piled high as mountains, Jinkiâs steamybreath still lingering on their rims where he put his lips to them. The pillowsare in a disarray from their night watching a Ghibli movie together; a blanketfort now collapsed like someone attacked it when no one stayed behind to defendit. The bathtub is full of dissolved bath salts from the last time they were init, two empty wine glasses sitting on the edge. The bed is unmade, and ifTaemin were to bury his nose into the pillow he still catches a faint scent ofJinkiâs sweaty hair. Everything is a mess, just the way heâd left it threemonths ago before the other ran out of the door in a hurry to work. Everything is outof its place since his car was found crashed at the bottom of a nameless hill.
And now Taemin needsto fix it.
