#shaw rambles

Technically this is an unfinished piece since I haven’t added his scars, however, fuck that it’s too much to add to an already rendered piece.

There’s so much for me to say about this, from a story based symbolism lense and a meta lense. So, I’ll put most of it in a reblog once I can compose myself.

TDLR for now? Trans Man experience + Complex Abuse

Earlier sketches and wips under cut

The colors be coloring

I can’t stop movinggggggg

Semi quit my job

Thank my bestie for helping me salvage it

Wooooo

Wish I could have the month and a half of paid off time I put in tho ;-;

WA

manic episodes are funnn

I can’t stop talking either I ramble and must speak evertyinhghggg

Must tell

Must speakkk

Have hark in car + shades

Hark doesn’t know what he would’ve wanted to study. (I honestly can’t think of anything fitting of him other than him not knowing) Yeah he’d be pushed into Political studies, yeah he’d be pushed into studying for taking a leading role in Business, but those are things his mothers would have wanted for him. He wouldn’t know what he wanted. Something he and Sam actually bonded over; the stress of being pushed to study things you didn’t particularly like.

In SASS he doesn’t particularly find anything academia related interesting or emotionally appealing. After all him and Sam are the epitome of “gifted kids intentionally drop out out of school to spite those putting Expectations on them”

He enjoys baking, and that’s enough.

Flint keeps coming to mind. He’s an example of “yes you had access to education, but the system that gave you this also restricted you and molded you to their liking” He would’ve definitely been an art major if he’d been given an education that WASNT in a shitstorm of politically charged indoctrination education and cultural distain for non Tool/Building based Arts. There’s a deep imbued shame for wanting to draw and use mediums to make something. And this mother fucker repressed and bottle shatters onto everyoneeeeeee else his emotional train wreck. He never pursued his interests, and if he did he got shamed for it (ie art). So yeah, he went with whatever made him fit in and look good socially to his peers and caretakers.

He just is a character I love to naw on for an exploration of how the people you grow up around affect your development of beliefs and bias and the importance of teaching people emotional regulation. And also the exploration of the fact that, yeah, people can be shitty then change for the better. Effects of Queer repression.

I finished the work about Autumns Worst Night of His Life. It’s 10.5k words long.

I’ll get around to posting it after work. But I shall announce it now. TIS FINISHEDDDDDDDD

One thing I want to say, is that the first sex section I wrote was to send a message of You can have a good experience with someone, and also a bad experience. It’s not black and white.