#shardsofdarkness

Kouji felt himself smile a little at the mention of his brother's name. "Kouichi, he's..."

As he trailed off, realizing that none of the words that formed in his mind seemed right to him, he took a long pause.

"He's my brother," he said firmly, as if to reassure himself. "...He's kind, receptive but a little soft-spoken at times, but even so, I think of him as a person who's dear to me. He's a good listener; every time I need to vent out my frustrations, or just feel the need to talk to someone, he'd always be there to lend an ear. But..."

The faint smile that had settled on his lips faded.

"...These days, I get this uneasy feeling whenever I'm around him. Sometimes I start to think that's he's avoiding me. It's like he's moving further and further away from my reach... and I don't really know how to stop it. Stop this gap from growing any wider."

…Until a large, oval mirror slowly revealed itself from the walls, reflecting what little light remained in the area with a dull luster. The elliptical object's shape began to deform as it gradually slithered down to the floor like mercury, and soon, it spread itself out on the middle of the floor in a perfect circle. Frozen in place, his eyes trailed down to the smooth plane beneath his feet. As he stared down at his own reflection, his silhouette suddenly rippled and began to change-- and within seconds, a strikingly similar, yet different face reappeared. The altered image being projected through the reflective surface had mimicked his position; standing still over (or perhaps under?) the mirror; feet planted right under his own feet; head bowed as well to stare back at him. His eyes widened considerably as a look of astonishment settled on his features.

"K…Kouichi…!"

Carefully bending down on one knee as if afraid he might shatter the mirror with his weight, he reached out a trembling hand towards the other—his reflection, with the other precisely following his every move. Stopping right before his fingers touched the surface, he examined the other's face to find him gazing back at him almost lifelessly with darkened, glazed-over eyes.

And then, the other's lips began to move.

"K-K…ou…j-ji…"

A pained look surfaced onto his features upon hearing how strained the other's voice sounded. Trapped, restrained and unable to escape this desolate abyss… he couldn't bear to see him like this. It hurt him. It hurt him to the very core to see him like this.

…And he felt his heart leap up to his throat in alarm the moment gravity abruptly pulled his mirror image deeper into the darkness below. Slipping away from him. Falling. Out of impulse, he shot his hand out to him and yelled out his name, but was taken by surprise when his arm passed through the mirror's surface like water-- No, rather than cutting through it, it seemed more like the mirror was sucking him in.

The moment his whole body passed through the mirror, he immediately pressed his limbs together in an attempt to fight the sudden updraft and dive faster towards his falling twin. They both continued to fall deeper and deeper—one falling backwards with a hand still extended; another plummeting towards the other in a nose dive, desperate to catch him. And as the latter began to draw nearer to the former, he quickly reached out his arms to embrace the other, pulling him close as he finally grasped a hold of him.

"Kouichi!" He yelled, then tightened his hold on the other as they fell. "Kouichi, I'm here… I'll be here for you… I'll protect you, even if I have to give up everything else… so please…!"

"K… Kouji…"

His heart palpitated at the sound of his voice. He pulled his head back from the embrace to look at the other, and his chest was filled with a sense of dread when a weak smile graced his brother's lips.

"I… I finally… got to meet you…" The other's voice echoed in a whisper as tears gently trickled down his pale cheeks. "Th-thank you… for being born with… me…"

"Kouichi--!!"

And with that, his brother's form vanished into nothing more than shimmering fragments—like mere shards of light, escaping from his grasp.

———

As a choked gasp escaped his lips, Kouji's eyes shot wide open, stirring abruptly from his sleep and breaking himself free from the dream that had occupied his mind.

…Dream? No— it had been more of a nightmare to him.

Kouji tried to control his uneven breathing and calm his racing heart as he stared rather dazedly up at his bedroom ceiling. He hadn't had a nightmare like that in quite a while, and he was sure he'd been free of these insecurities that haunted his mind in the past… but nowadays, it seemed that they've started to return, little by little, gnawing away at him… ever since he and his brother have began to grow distant from each other.

…When exactly did that happen? At what point did they start to drift apart? He didn't know. But every time he thought back on how evasive his brother had been acting as the days went by, a painful clench throbbed in his chest. Perhaps… could their widening distance be his fault, in some way? Had he done something that forced his own twin to slip away from him? But for whatever reason may lie behind all this, one thing's for sure— he hadn't even tried to do anything to stop the gap between them from broadening any further. And that fact alone made him feel uneasy; anxious; guilty.

Kouji let out a weak groan as a throbbing ache continued to pound in his head. Ill at ease by the stifling heat that spread over his body, he raised an arm over his damp forehead. His body felt hot, but at the same time, he felt a shivering chill. He had broken into a cold sweat in his sleep, and now that he was a bit more conscious, he vaguely remembered collapsing onto his bed tiredly right after a long day of school. Just thinking back on how unwell he felt during class made him nauseous… Wait, had he been sleeping the whole afternoon away?

The raven-haired teen turned his head to look at his digital clock through his blurred vision. '7:38 PM', it read. He frowned. So he did sleep through the afternoon… and this was among the rare times he skipped out on Kendo practice. He really didn't feel like having to put up with training today, so of course he headed straight home.

Trying to ignore the pounding headache, Kouji shut his eyes and turned over to his side. He felt a hot tear slip past the corner of his eye, and he tried to shove the visions of his nightmare away from his rational thinking… but soon found the attempt extremely difficult. It was clear that he had been shaken up by that nightmare, simple as it may be… but the mere thought of losing his brother… it made him feel so anxious, so insecure, it upset him.

Kouji glanced at his cellphone by his side with lethargic eyes, and then a thought came to him. Maybe he could call Kouichi. Perhaps… perhaps talking to him, even for just a little while, would soothe his anxiety somehow.

Picking up the mobile device, he flipped it open and scrolled through his contacts, quickly finding his brother's name on the menu. All of a sudden, he wanted to hear his brother's voice so badly… and he hoped that hearing the sound of his low, but gentle tenor would put his fearful thoughts to rest.

And so, he dialed the number with a single press of a button, and waited with baited breath as he listened to the series of soft beeps.

Then, he heard the other line pick up. Kouji smiled faintly to himself.

"H-H… Hey, Kouichi…"

He hadn't realized how hoarse his voice was until then.

———

(( ↓ Kouji-mun's Footnotes ↓ ))

Envy truly is a horrible thing; an unexplainable emotion that fills human's hearts with resentment, ill feelings, and often leads to hate. And humans truly were unfortunate beings to be capable of such emotion… But, in all actuality; the real unfortunate beings are the ones feeling victimized by other people harboring these feelings against them.

And knowing that the person he held dear to him the most had been afflicted by this sort of maltreatment… those spiteful people were going to pay; dearly.

He couldn't believe that he didn't see any of the signs sooner. He just couldn't believe that his brother had been keeping this a secret from him all along… all because he didn't want to worry him?

Kouji didn't care about that. He wanted to be there for his brother, and he didn't care if his mind would be muddle by apprehensive thoughts-- because keeping him in the dark; keeping secrets from each other would only bring more anxiety to him, his brother should know.

But right now, it was not the time to worry about that. His brother was falling apart right in front of him, and he can't just let it pass. He immediately wrapped his arms around his elder twin's form, holding him close and trying to give him as much comfort as he could. Anger swelled in his chest as he recalled his brother's words, where he finally confessed to him that he was being targeted by rowdy schoolmates. He had become a victim of bullying.

Stroking his hand through his brother's dark hair with his chin on his shoulder, Kouji simply murmured back to him, "Kouichi… it's alright, everything's going to be fine now…" He then pulled him closer, resting his own chin upon the other's shoulder. "I wish you'd only tell me about this sooner…"

He tried not to notice the warm, damp sensation on his shoulder, and simply continued to hold his brother tight, unwilling to let go. Not for anyone; not for anything else in the world.

He may not be the most consoling person there is out there. He may be a man of little words. But, through his actions, he hoped that they would somehow reach out to him. He wanted to let him know that he was always there for him.