#shanoebe

I noticed Shannon with our stuff over in the corner. Emotion ran through my body as I realized what just happened. He noticed me and smiled frowning when I didn’t smile back. I started walking to him he turned from the table to me wrapping his arms around me as I wrapped mine around his neck. I started crying my eyes out.

“You deserve it, baby,” he said softly kissing my ear letting me bury my head in his neck. “So many times over.” Everything ran through my head seemingly from my entire life until now, all coming out my eyes. Take Shannon, and everything else away, I finally had something that belonged to me, that I earned, that no one could take away. “I’m so proud of you, Phoebe Flamez,” he whispered so softly that it gave me chills. I pulled back and looked at him.   “Babe,” he smiled soothing my shoulders.

“This is real?” I cried. He nodded his head, I nodded mine.

“It’s so real, baby,” he said hugging me again.

He held me again

*

Jared left in a Taxi to go be with Riley. I was glad he did, she needed someone and I just wanted to sit here and take note of had what had just happened. Everything was strange. I was happy but I wanted to cry. I had just so many emotions going through my body.

“What do you want to do?” Shannon asked. I looked up at him. “Coffee?”

“Yeah,” I smiled.

Twenty minutes later I pulled into the driveway of Coffee co and went in. I kept Clinging to Shannon. I was so tired so many things had happened. I just wanted to sleep even just for a few hours.

“What do you want?”

“Iced coffee,” I smiled. He ordered the drink and a muffin. He sat on a stool while waiting walked over to him straddling his legs, letting him kiss me. When he pulled back I hugged him as tight as I could. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said soothing my back.

“I’m so tired.” I laughed.

“Should you be having coffee?” he questioned.

“Yeah, its only 130pm” I pointed out.

“but you can go to bed when we get home,”

“Hmm,” I said pressing my lips to his neck, “Maybe,”

“What’s in your head.”

“I’m just overwhelmed,” I admitted. “I feel like I just overcame my whole entire life,” I told.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,”  I admitted. “I  know you said we were given a shit run from day one,”

“You were,” he agreed.

“Shannon,” the coffee lady called.

“and I feel like I just earned this,”

“So much babe.”

“For Dad and Ryan. . . my mom, r... i. .” I was having trouble saying the name. Shannon reached my coffee out to me. I grabbed for it but didn’t look. “Riley,” I looked up at him and turned away. “I have to go,” I said turning and walking out getting in my car. Shannon got in just in time for me to drive off.

“What the hell?” he snapped. I didn’t say a worked, I just drove, I think Shannon was shocked at how I was driving, it was completely different to what he was used too. Eventually, after 40 minutes of ignoring Shannon, I pulled up in front of the courthouse probably parking illegally.

“Phoebe, what are you doing?” Shannon asked grabbing my arm.

“Stop!!! . . Talking!!” I demanded snapping my arm back as I walked to reception. “Catalano, Frost?”

She told me the door and I burst in without permission. The first person I saw was my ex, then Nelly.

“Can I help you miss?” The judge asked looking over his glasses to me.

“Ahh, I know this is really inappropriate, your honor,” I said honestly. “But I have a proposition,”

“Phoebe, what the hell are you doing,” Jared scolded. I looked at him for a second before looking up to the judge.

“What’s your name?”

“My name is Phoebe Flamez, I was born Phoebe Catalano, Riley is my triplet,” I told. “I know this wrong but I had something of my own on that just ended.”

“What are you proposing.”

“Well, I am about to go on a world tour and I need a drummer, I know my sister is a drummer,” I told Riley’s head snapped toward me.  “I think maybe I can employ her so she has a job, meanwhile Penelope stays with Mitchell with regular welfare checks on my niece, Then when Riley is back in town, she gets full custody for those times,” I told. “While Riley I away she gets daily face calls and things like that with Penelope and can also find a place to live,”

“That is an interesting plan, Miss Flamez.” The judge nodded. “Why would we need regular welfare checks.”

“Mitchell is my ex-fiancé, he like my sister have had interesting pasts.”

“Like you,” Mitchell snapped.

“I  am not trying to get custody of a child” I scolded matching it with a glare. “Honestly, if I had it my way, Penelope would be on tour with us,” I told the judge, “we’d know she was safe and happy,”

“But I know that isn’t a healthy life for her, either is a life without either parent,” I said. “We all want what’s best for Penelope, otherwise we wouldn’t be here.”

“I’ve been drug-free for a long time,” Riley told, “I’m happy to be drug tested.” She smirked at me, I smirked back.

“Okay, Ms. Flames please take a seat,” The judge said

I took a couple of steps backward and sat next to Shannon. The judge spoke for a few minutes. “Miss Catalano, how do you feel about your sister’s proposal,”

“I feel like it’s a better option then what I came here with,” she admitted.

“Ms. Flamez” The judge called. I looked up. “We will need to have a talk with you and discuss the ins and outs, do you have anything on this afternoon. I looked at Jared he shook his head.

“No,”  I held on to Shannon’s hand.

“We’ll adjourn for an hour, I’ll talk to Phoebe about her plan with your lawyers, from there we reconvene at 330pm for my decision.” He slapped his hammer on the table. I turned to Jared.

“Will you come and help me with dates and stuff?” I asked

“Me?” Jared asked.

“Either of you, both of you?”

“Yeah, I’ll help,” Jared said

“Ms. Flamez?” the judge motioned for me to follow him. Jared joined Shannon went out with Riley.

*

Jared and I gave dates and opinions, the judge was extremely intrigued.

“So where will she stay?”

“Uhm,”

“Well Riley is going to need to rehearse with Phoebe and her band, so I feel it will be best for her to have my spare room. “While we’re away we can find her a home for her and the child,” Jared said. I hated the idea of living with Riley but I guess I had the guest house and Shannon to escape to/with. I really shouldn’t have suggested this if I had a problem with that small fact.

“So when do you finish?”

“We come back home on December 18th from Spain”

“Right” the judge nodded.

“Can we put up for consideration that we have her for our North American dates?” I put forward. “They’re in January,” I said quickly remembering the conversation Jared and I had a few days ago impressed I usually just went with the flow.

“I am going to have a chat with the lawyers, who will converse with the parents, then we will reconvene for my judgment,”

“Okay,” I nodded.

“You can wait with your family,”

I got up and walked out the way we came through the courtroom. Shannon was straight to his feet when he saw us hugging me tightly.

“What did he say?” Riley rushed.

“He took down details,” I told. “He said he’s talking it over with your lawyer, to talk over with you”

“Okay,” She nodded looking at her daughter on the ground.

“Phoebe asked for us to have her on our US tour dates,” Jared said. “Which was kind of genius.”

“This whole idea is genius,” Riley said. “I’m so thankful,” she said stepping toward me.

“Yeah,” I said stepping toward Shannon. “Let’s just make sure it works first,”  I said her shoulders dropped a little. “I told you, Ri, he” I flicked my eyes towards Mitchell. “Won't beat us,” she smiled as Shannon pulled me in kissing my head.

*

I sat next to Riley watching Nelly play with Jared and Shannon on the ground. Her parents had not long come back from talking with their lawyers. Riley seemed hopeful. I sat there toying with my bracelets rolling them up my arm and back down switching wrists, jiggling my leg in place as I starred thoughtlessly to the corner of the room

“Phoebs,” Jared called I looked up. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” I nodded he looked between Riley and me, I noticed what I was doing and stopped it instantly. There were many ways to tell my sister and I were identical, one of those ways was our anxious twitches.

“Catalano Vs Frost” the court person called. I stood instantly and grabbed Riley’s arm hugging her tight before letting her walk in joining Jared and Shannon up the back.

“Ms. Flamez, the judge called I looked up squeezing Shannon’s hand. “Your sister is a shaking like a leaf, come be with her,” he demanded. I looked at Shannon he smiled and kissed my cheek as I nervously stood and walked down sharing the seat with Riley grabbing hole of her hand she gripped mine as tight as she could. “Why is it, Miss Flamez that it took you until today to come up with this plan?”

“Honestly?” I asked.

“Please.”

“I was preoccupied with an event in my own life that I was a little blinded from the moral my father brought us upon,” I said meeting Riley’s eyes before looking back to the judge. “My sister came to me a couple of weeks ago and asked for my help,” I told. “She had made a mistake probably larger than any other she had made in her life,” I told I felt Riley’s grip on my hand tighten. “We never grew up with a mother role model,”

“I was waiting for that,” Mitchell scoffed.

“in her shoes, I probably would have done the same thing” I admitted... “I saw it then and I see in now she was a scared mother who didn’t know the right way to ask anyone other than me for the help that she needed,” I told I was off track. “I learned pretty early on that this I don’t know the word, drama right now, it’s bigger then her and I, it’s bigger than how I feel toward Mitchell, it’s what’s best for Penelope,” I said. “And I know Jared and Shannon have been trying to suggest this to me for the last week, but I was just so caught up in my self I didn’t see it was right” I said. “basically, it’s bigger than us, its for Penelope and her life and I think this is a way that she could have a good one, with both her parents. Which is an opportunity we never had.” I said I was sure I was pandering, I’d gotten out of tones of trouble before through the right speech, was that need now? Was pandering illegal?”

“I am going to give you a trial,” The judge told. “you leave on the 19th?’

“We’ll leave here on the 17th to be in Johannesburg by the 19th”

“The girl will be returned to Mr Frost on the 17th but 12 pm at a to be arranged mutual meeting zone, Ms. Catalano will regain custody of the girl on December 20th through January third where we will reconvene for a review of the court case” he said. “Regular welfare checks will be made on both parties when the child is in their custody,” he said sternly. “any questions?” the room was silent. “I will see you all on January 3rd.”

“I hope your passport is up to date,” I said as Riley hugged me.

“Thank you so so much,” she cried

“Hey,” I said pulling her hair over her shoulder. Soothing her face. “You need to dry them eyes because, in about three seconds, I’m giving that asshole my trademark Phoebe Flamez bitch face Smirk,” I said. ‘you’re going to give your trademark Riley Catalano Bitch Face smirk,” she lifted her head and met my eyes. I looked over and My eyes met Mitchell’s for the first time since I saw him last, about five years ago. I smirked my biggest smirk he knew I just got one over him, he knew deep down in his soul that any wrong move me made now meant he lost to me. I let out the softest laugh as his look turned in to a glare before turning back to Riley and kissing her head.

“Come on, you know she’ll work hard, just let her rest a tiny bit longer,” there was a moments silence.

“Okay,” Jared said reluctantly. “I’ll get some breakfast delivered at 1030,”

‘Deal,”

The door closed then there was the drop of a beautiful man on my bed. I slid over and cuddled in to him as tight as I could.

“Thank you baby,”

“No worries, kitten!” he said soothing my shoulder. “I love you,”

“I love you too,” I sighed. The room fell to silence, I needed to go back to sleep. I opened my eyes the sight of Shannon’s chest rising and falling was pretty beautiful. I looked up at his face. He was awake but barely. He'd likely start snoring at any second. I kissed his chest then snuggled my face into his neck some more before biting down. He jumped a little before turning his head. I searched his eyes for a moment before kissing him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I felt his weight settle on top of me. "Not sleepy any more, kitten?" I closed my eyes briefly, smiling and shaking my head, opening them again to look into his beautiful hazel eyes. "A bit, but... I missed you..." "Well, technically, I haven't left." He said, chuckling. I rolled my eyes, playfully biting his chin. "You know what I mean." I sneaked my hands under his shirt, feeling him shiver beneath my palms. He smiled back, kissing me softly. It felt like forever since we've been together like this, so I was gonna enjoy the moment. But also, I felt bratty and needy. I kissed back, my tongue joining his as I tugged on his t-shirt. He pulled back to remove his shirt while I did the same, chucking it somewhere. Feeling his skin on mine made my body feel like it was on fire. I searched his lips with mine once again, groaning as I felt him clasping his hands in mine and placing them above my head. I arched my back into him, as he nipped on my neck. "Please, I need you..." I whispered. "Shh, all in good time, kitten." He breathed into my neck, rolling his hips into mine. I was frustrated we were still wearing clothes. His lips fell back against mine in a hungry kiss, before he pulled back to remove the rest of my clothing. I squealed as he pulled my legs up to his shoulders, kissing the inside of my calf. I reached for him, trying to hold on anywhere I could reach as I felt him inch closer to my core. I groaned as I felt his fingers pushing into me, filling me, slowly thrusting inside me. He let my legs drop from his shoulders, leaning up to kiss me urgently. He sped up the pace, making me whimper loudly against his lips. I glared at him as he stopped his ministrations, sitting up and sucking his fingers into his mouth, making me moan. "Please..." I begged him. I sat up, helping him remove the rest of his clothing before we collapsed back on the bed, kissing once again. I ended up on top of him, pulling back to look into his eyes. Tracing the side of his face, I felt his stuble against my fingers. He closed his eyes, kissing the tips of my fingers and murmuring "I love you" against them. I smiled, whispering back an "I love you too" before sinking down on him, a deep groan escaping both our lips. Slowly, I rocked back and forth, losing myself to the pleasure. I squealed when I felt Shannon's hands on my hips. He turned us over and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he eased himself back into me, his lips on my neck, biting hard, making me moan loudly. I scratched his back as I felt it coil in the pit of my belly. I could tell he was close too as he sped up his thrusts. Pulling his mouth back to mine, I let go, moaning into his kiss, before I heard him whisper my name as he came. We laid there in a tangle of limbs and sweat. He propped himself up on one arm, the other hand cupping my cheek, stroking softly. I reached a hand up into his hair, smiling and bumping my nose with his. "I love you." I whispered. "I love you too." He whispered back. "I'm so proud of you, kitten." I smiled, hugging him to me. Unfortunately, our little bubble had to be burst soon. We had a long day ahead of us. "I don't wanna move, but I should go shower before breakfast." He nodded, easing himself off of me. I made my way to the bathroom, turning on the shower and stepping in, the warm water relaxing my sore muscles almost instantly. I washed my hair quickly, rising it and squealing when I felt arms wrap around my waist. I turned around, welcoming the kiss he gave me, laying my head on his shoulder for a bit. When I pulled back, he had a mischivious smile on his lips. One I knew too well. I shook my head. "Dude, we don't have time." He pouted, slapping my butt as I turned around. "Hey!" He did his half assed wink before reaching around and grabbing the shower gel, rubbing it into my body. I sighed, allowing him the small victory. He cleaned himself quickly as I rinsed under the shower head. We exited the shower, getting ready to head down to breakfast before Jared threw one of his hissy fits.  

*

Jared was waiting at the counter scrolling his laptop.

“Morning kidlets,” he said sternly.

“Hey diva,” I grinned walking around behind him hugging him tight. “What you doing?”

“Working?” he offered.

“Do you ever stop?” I laughed.

“Yes?”

“Rarely,” Shannon snickered as he looked in the fridge.

“I do,”

“Hmm, I’m on Shannon’s side here... I doubt you do,” I grinned kissing his cheek before spinning around wrapping my arms around Shannon. “Okay we’re actually three minutes early,” I told scanning the empty fridge three times. “we were promised food,”

“We were,” Shannon closed the fridge with his agreement.

“I know,” Jared said, there was a noise filled the house, I had no idea what it was, Jared suddenly rose and walked to the corner of his bench pressing a button. “Unlocking it now,” he called. “just in time,” he said turning back to me, with a wiggle of his eye brows he was off toward the door. I looked over at Shannon, who looked at me with a smile, I happily returned, he was so pretty, how did I get so lucky? He held an arm out my grin grew in to a smirk as he too half a step toward me grabbing my shoulder pulling me in to his arms. I wrapped my arms so tight around him that I let out a small joyful squee.

“Why are you wearing a shirt?” I questioned.

“Because I am a grown up and I knew how to dress myself,” he said I pulled back and looked at his face. “Why are you wearing a shirt?” he questioned looking down at my boobs then back up to my face.

“Because I have to give you something to unwrap later.”

Same, you have more to unwrap then me,” he grinned kissing my lip.

“Nah,” I grinned. “You’re like an entire present,”

“and you’re not?” he asked, I shook my head. “Its like an advent calender,” I smiled. Shannon laughed softly. I’m like the gift that you get off your grandma, like it’s socks, chocolate and maybe a $20,”

“Okay?” Shannon laughed.

“You’re that gift, that massive gift under the tree from your parents, that one that they’ve been planning all year that is just 100% pure epic gold,”

“Yeah?” he asked, I nodded. “So I’m that gift that the kids love?”

“Yeah,” I grinned.

“the one they enjoy for an hour then discover the box it came in and end up getting more enjoyment out of?”

“Yeah, exactly,” I laughed

“So, if I’m this big extravagant toy,” he grinned “Are you the box I came in?”   I tried to hold it in I lasted about three seconds before I busted in to a fit of laughter. The more I thought about it the funnier it was. I finally got a hold of my self, letting Shannon kiss me with the over sized grin that was on his face, I kissed him back thinking about what he just said, bursting into laughter all over again until I was doubled over at the sink grasping for air.                                                                  

“Do I even want to know?” Jared asked sitting a box of stuff on the bench looking between us both as I shook my head forcing myself to catch my breath and calm down.

“It’s probably for the best you don’t,” Shannon agreed walking to the box. “This looks like a lot of food,” he said.

“Yeah, It was a big week, some carbs to replace all that fuel.” Jared said sitting back at his laptop. “Do you want to get your laptops and I’ll talk you through the schedule?”

“Sure,” I said turning to the door, Shannon went to follow, “I’ll get yours baby,” I said rubbing his arm.

“I’ll serve your breakfast,” I grinned at him ask I walked out. I walked out the door enjoying the sun for a few minutes over to the guest house, kind of feeling bummed out that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the LA weather for at least a week. I let out a sigh as I grabbed both our laptops and made way back inside where the Letos were talking about something, stopping when I got closer to them. “Yo,” I said handing Shannon his laptop. “I know we’re all busy busy, but I kinda want a bit of time to be able to unpack a little, if possible?”

“Oh you do,” Jared said with his nose scrunched a little.

“Kinda yeah, isn’t it like summer over the other side of the world?” I asked. “i cant go over the other side of the world in my American winter cloths,”

“Europe’s cold,” Jared said, “Very cold,”

“Are we not going to South Africa before that?”

“We are,” he nodded. “So that’s south, so it’s warm,” I grinned.

“Right,” he nodded. I grinned. “Just be sensible,”

“K... no naked in front of the antelope, I get it,’ I grinned. “Now will I have time to sort my area out a little?”

“Hmm, you’re very lucky?”

“I am?”

“Yes,” he smiled.

“Why?” I grinned.

“Because I am Jared Leto, and I think of everything,” he pointed at my computer. I climbed up into the seat and opened it. “I sent you an email.”

“Okay” I nodded. A moment later my chair was pulled to the left by Shannon who put one arm around me and moved Coffee, a plate of egg and bacon and a muffin to me. “thanks,” I said hugging him tight before typing. Getting my email from Jared, clicking on it.

“You guys got it?” Jared asked. Shannon nodded.

“uhh...” a page loaded where I had to put a password in. “Password?”

“Your Google password, genius,”

“Alright,” I grumbled.”Okay, I’m in”

“Okay, so I decided to create a calender that clearly states what the four of us have on,” he told. “I’ve gotten both your free times as close together as possible, but obviously there are Mars related things or Phoebe related things that are on in times that the other one might be free,”

“Your free time is in Orange,” Jared told, “Shannon, yours is in yellow”

“Yeah, of course,” Shannon nodded. “You’ve done these before,”

“Yeah, I’m just talking through it for Phoebe,”

“EP stuff is in red, Video stuff is in Pink,”

“Okay,” I nodded. “your unpacking is in green,”

“Sweet, and I even put in Shannoebe time once a day, in purple,”

“Is it purple because purple is the color of sexual frustration?”

“ewh,” Jared shuddered, “Have a look over everything and let me know if you have any questions.”

“Sure,” I nodded. Shannon pushed my coffee closer to me. I looked up at him.

“It’s going cold,”

“right,” I laughed taking a sip. “So right now we have breakfast?” I pointed out.

“Very good,” Jared cheered.

“Then we go to... studio... the one here?” I asked.

“Yeah,”

“The masters are here?”

“Yeah, I brought them with us,”

“Cool,” I nodded.

“You have no idea Jared,” I snarled. “No fucking idea how wrong that was,”

“You're her sister,”

“You're my friend,” I cried. “Before anything,”

“i know this is outside your comfort zone,”

“Jared this isnt singing on tv, this is my sanity,” I told. “You told me it was okay to let the walls down, to start to heal, with Shannon, for myself,”

“Phoebe I never knew this was going to happen,”

“Yeah, either did I,” I agreed. “But we both know what you're asking of me is massively unfair.” I snarled. “Now if you dont mind I have to go pull myself together and sing in front of a fucking crowd,” I walked toward the stage steps Shannon grabbed my arm.

“Hey,” he said pulling me in to him by my waist. “one note at a time,” he smiled. “We're going to go out there and we're going to kick some ass, you wanna know why?” I nodded. “Because, I LOVE you,” he told, I smiled. “And no matter what happens with all this mess, I'm always going to love you,” he kissed me. I searched his eyes, he kissed me again, this time it was deeper, tinglier, he wanted to distract me. It worked, I had feelings all over my body that only Shannon could give me. I pulled back.

“I love you too,” I smiled, “Thanks,” I said hugging in to him.

“Let's go, rockstar,” he said squeezing my ass, I walked up the stairs. I smiled at him he was perfect. My guitar went over my head and for the first few songs I was amping the crowd up, talking about our almost car accidents, how Jared pulled Shannon and I in to the fountain and destroyed our phones, they cheered when I told them that he brought us new iphones to make up for it, I talked about Mars then I got to the harder songs. “Never again,” was the first one that got me, when I finished, I tore my jacket off and placed it at the bottom of the drums. It was basically sub zero temperature wise but I was sweating like a freak. “Phoebe,” Shannon called, I looked up, he nodded to the front of the drums for me to jump up. “Why dont you change the next song?” he said. “Put something else there for tonight?”

“What is it?”

“Behind these Hazel eyes” he said. I shook my head and looked out to the crowd, he was keeping a steady beat.

I turned my microphone off for a split second. “Their our eyes,” I smirked. “And” I said flexing my muscles. “I'm stronger then you think,”

he winked and nodded towards me. “I've always believed in you,” he grinned, I grinned back.

“Shannon Leto ladies and Gentlemen,” I said into the microphone as I jumped from the drums. “Now, how many of you have had a broken heart?” I asked every one cheered. “You know there are times, our heart gets broken, we have to rebuild who we are, we have to change everything we believe about the world and our place in it,” I said. “Some times the ugly ugly past will jump up and wipe it's grimey hands all over but you need to stand strong, stand tall and power on through, because if it wasnt for me getting my heart broken, in the worst way I could imagine, I wouldnt be here in front of you guys, I wouldnt not have gained some of the best people I've ever met and be able to share their experience and have them let me in to their heart, I looked at Shannon, I was smiling, I would not be on tour with Thirty Seconds to Fucking Mars, if I did not get my heart broken, my trust ruined, my life stomped on I would most certainly not be releasing this song on itunes in 48 hours,” I said proudly. “So soldier on guys, get through it, I know it's hard but the best things are yet to come,” I told. “This is behind these Hazel Eyes,”

I sung through the song, mostly, it got toward the end, thats when it started getting hard, I had tears running down, I tried the high note but my voice gave in to the tears about half way through it, I sung the last 'any more,' I couldnt go any more on that song, I looked down at the setlist, I couldnt sing the next one either. “I need my fucking guitar,” I snapped walking to the back of the stage, some one was walking over to me with it. I walked and got a drink and paced for a second, I had no idea what to do, I honestly wanted to walk off stage, but walking of stage right now was far worse then sheding a couple of tears on stage. I let out a huge sigh. I looked down at my guitar, the whole arena went quiet, I knew what I wanted to play, I looked up at Shannon for a minute. I bent down and mimicked the started of the song, it was typically synth but I loved to try and recreate it. The crowd knew what it was instantly. I took a deep breath I turned to the microphone and started singing Attack.

The guys knew what it was, they never missed a beat, I kept my eyes closed for the entire song. I probably ruined it, but fuck I enjoyed singing it, I enjoyed it way more then I should have.

I sung the last few songs and stormed off stage. Shannon grabbed my arm.

“Babe, the crowd went crazy,” he smiled. I looked in to his eyes. “You did amazingly.”

“I dont know if I am going to sing on Kings and Queens.” I said honestly.

“You've got too,”

“No I dont,” I told.

“Hey, way to take my song and give it a new life,” I heard Jared say, he walked over and put his hand on my shoulder. I pulled it back.

“I'm going to the bus,” I said looking Shannon in the eyes.

“What about kings and queens?”

“What about it?” I snapped walking in to the room to get my stuff.

“Phoebe,” Riley said softly. “Please talk to me,”

“You don't want that,”

“I do, Phoebs,” she begged. “I know what I am asking of you is too much, way too much,” she said, “I dont want to, but it makes sense, he wont listen to me,”

“What makes you think he will listen to me? Why not Jared or some one else?”

“Because he knows you, he knows when you say I am with you, I will be with you,” she told. “Damn it Phoebe, this is my daughters life!” she said pointing in the direction of the playing child. I looked toward Penelope.

“Phoebe,” I heard Jared say.

“I'll fucking do it okay,” I yelled, Penelope jumped, I instantly felt bad. “I'll make the phone call, I'll do what the fuck ever, for her,” I said pointing at the child. “But if I never have to speak another word to you for the rest of this tour Jared Leto, It wont be anything nice,” I walked to the door.

“When,” Riley asked softy.

I stopped. “He said you're coming with us?” I asked her, she nodded. “On the bus,” I stormed out. I found a spot that was quiet to sit, people kept walking past, I heard Shannon ask if anybody knew where I was, but I just couldnt, I was relieved when no one told him where I was, it showed no one noticed me there, or if they did they assumed Shannon knew and forgot.

I wasnt crying, I just couldnt be around people, I heard their set start, they sung through escape, night of the hunter and a couple of other songs. Then some one found me. They had a microphone in hand.

“Kings and Queens is in a couple of songs time,”

I looked up at him, I really didnt want to sing with Jared, but I wanted to be on stage, the stage was what I worked my whole life to get to. I took the microphone and shot up.

“That's our girl,” Zack smiled.

I didnt say anything, I walked to the edge of the stage, I wanted to hide, I didnt want to stand here where ever one could see me, the lights went dark on the stage, I took it as the perfect opportunity to sneak behind Shannon's drum block and sat on the ground next to the step, he missed one beat of from his drums, which told me he saw me. after the song he called at me.

“What are you doing?” he said.

I looked up at him. “Just leave me be?” I begged,

“Here,” he said, holding a bottle of water above my head, “try and relax a little,”  he told. Two songs and a half later he ran down the stairs and sat next to me pulling me in to his arms.

“I'm alright,” I said.

“I know you're pretending,” he whispered. “Just let me hold you,” I did so, Jared sung Hurricane, and the Kill acoustically.

“Okay guys so the next song was supposed to be Attack but our pretty little opening act stole it,” he said, I could hear a smile in his voice, “Lets hear it for Phoebe Flamez,” he said the crowd cheered, Shannon hugged me tighter. “That's right,” Jared said in to his microphone, “So seeing as she stole that song from us, I'm going to deticate this song to her, this is Alibi”

“I think this is him saying sorry to you,” Shannon whispered kissing my head.

“He can appologize when I get through it,” I snapped.

“I'm here for you baby,”

“I know,” I said,

“I gotta drum,” he said kissing my head again. Standing. “Just listen to the words,”

“Shan,” I called as he got to the top of the stairs. “Thanks,” he winked at me, I listened to the song carefully, it was so pretty, it fitted my situation and Jared knew it, he also knew I was listening, his voice was amazing.

The verses but the way he sung the last bridge and chorus sent me to hysterics, I closed my eyes and listened, I could feel every word, every strum on the guitar, every breath he took every tap on Shannon's drums. Then he sung “But got back up again” so strongly, the crowd cheered and they went in to conquistador. Then they started playing the start of kings and queens. I turned my microphone on. “You forgot about me,”

Shannon let out a hearty laugh.

“What?” Jared said

“You Jared Leto,” I pulled my self up to standing with help of the drum block I was leaning on. “Forgot about me,” I said walking on to the stage. “Guys, I've been on this tour for three months nearly,” I put my elbow on Jared's shoulder, “i've sung this song with Thirty Seconds To Mars every night,”

“What happened to 'Fuck Kings and Queens?'” Jared said to me with his microphone pulled away.

“What happened to our friendship?” he smirked. “Oh, you ruined it,” I shrugged. “So do you guys think I should sing this with the boys or not?” the crowd cheered.

“Off we go then,”

We sung the song, I went crazier then I did the first night, getting lost in the parts I wasnt singing then even more lost in the parts I was. When Jared sung 'The age of man has spoken, a darkness comes at dawn, these lessons that we've learned here have only just begun' I felt tears in my eyes, he looked at me the same time I looked at him, he knew I was listening and feeling everything he was singing more then usual, I should have just been in the crowd because at that moment like every song in the set was for me. I looked out to the crowd, they were pretty much in their utopia's personally being on stage was mine, but I knew the second I walked off I was going to my new hell.

The chorus kicked back in, I sung it and felt tears in my eyes, they fell, more when I had to sing 'between heaven and hell' I walked to the front of the stage to see the crowd won more times, high fiving a couple of people when I sung the first 'we are the queens' my make up was all streaky because of my tears. They didnt stop falling when I sung the last “we are the queens,” but the crying interfered with my breath, I had to stop walking I lowered to my knees to help get the note out holding it for as long as I could when stopped I couldnt breathe I let my knees drop on to the ground and covered my eyes with my hands as I tried to calm my self, then dropped my hands to my knees, I saw a hand in front of my face, I followed it until I saw the blue eyed Leto looking at me. I grabbed hold of his hand and let him help me up, I went to walk away but he pulled me into a hug.

“This is going to have a positive ending, I can feel it,” he said, in to my ear. I pulled back and looked in to his eyes.

“You might be able to see that from where you're standing, but you're standing in a place that wasnt demolished by the situation that is currently trying to eat you alive.”

“I know,” he smiled kindly “I know,”