Sep 4, 2022
Imagine Loki finding himself mysteriously shanghai'd into being part of a reality TV show focusing on the daily lives of immortal beings
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Imagine Loki finding himself mysteriously shanghai'd into being part of a reality TV show focusing on the daily lives of immortal beings
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The Center Cannot HoldÂ
Last week, Old Town Brewing earned three bronze medals at the Oregon Beer Awards, the annual celebration of our fair state’s best brews. Shanghai’d IPA came in third in the Classic UK Styles category. Add that to a GABF Gold Medal in 2015, and you’ve got a nicely outfitted “English-style” IPA. I figured I give this award winner another go around. It’s amber. It’s bitter. It’s sweet.Â
Shanghai’d tastes less like London and more like Portland in 2010. The color is the first sign. These days, dark malt is rare, and sugary crystal is verboten. But here is an IPA with a reddish color which is actually a little sweet on the tongue. Old Town only lists 2-row malt and honey as ingredients, so maybe it’s all in my mind. The hops list is a trip down memory lane -- Nugget, Liberty, Crystal, and the classic Cascade. The hops are used less for aroma than tongue coating bitterness. It’s bracing with hints at grapefruit and a long piney finish. Is this an IPA?
It’s mind boggling how far we’ve come in the ten years I’ve been drinking. This would not be out of place on any tap list when I was in school, but now, it tastes like an old relic. I’m amazed at how far our collective palates have shifted. We once revered beers with hundreds of IBUs. Now, we are adding vanilla and lactose to make milkshakes. And somehow, they both fall under the same three letter heading: IPA.
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: we need a new word. India Pale Ale can’t be all beers all the time.
Of straitjackets and plans
Peacock wiggled on the floor. The pain subsided for now but she was very sore, both from being on her back for so long and from her veins slowly emerging. She just wanted to sit up a bit. She sighed and waited for him to finish reading.
Good Morning????
Uwh? Where am I? Why can’t I see?! Oh Trinity why am I so sore? I try to lift myself up, only to see that I couldn’t. What’s going on? I hear….screaming? It was muffled and quick. Leaving as soon as it came I try to wiggle my way up, only to for a sharp dizzying pain to enter me…. Oh Trinity what’s happening to me? I try to call out, only for the sound, like usual, to die in my throat, never leaving my lips. With a deep breath, I try to stand up again, only to collapse halfway through…. I land on my side, hard. I hissed in pain. Oh Mother…… This pain….oh Trinity….I thought the Medicine took care of this! I curl up into a small ball, my insides….they felt like they were on fire I cough up something….oddly warm….it was thick…and kinda gooey. I spat it out, trying to clean my mouth of whatever came out Another racking of Pain entered me, twisting my insides, almost as if they were being stabbed repeatingly with hot pokers! T-Trinity no! P-Please make it stop! This pain! I-it was unbearable! I tightly closed my sockets, gritting my teeth, trying to ignore the fact that my insides were basically feeling like jello. A sickening squish like sound soon filed my line of hearing, followed by several sharp cracking sounds and a queasy feeling. P-Please……m-make it…..stop!