#shadowlou

Nudging Louise awake again, Carmen pushed the computer over for her to affirm or deny if that person looked like her mother. It had been many years, but Louise still remembered Vera's striking hair and luminous eyes.

Looking at picture after picture of Vera conjured up memories she didn't know she had. Of course time tampered with them, she couldn't remember why they had been out that night or if the memory was before or after Louise found out about Dexter. Louise nodded at the last ID photo Carmen showed her and leaned her head against the couch.

Despite Shadowsan policing Carmen to not bother Louise and let her sleep, Carmen did not do so. Louise had now been on the couch for hours and was barely awake. Shadowsan had been in the background, letting Louise and Carmen have their bonding time while he cooked.

Louise jumped when a plate hit her hands and looked up to find Shadowsan putting food in her lap, "what is this?"

"Pancakes." He simply said, it was the only thing he could cook to make edible with the ingredients in HQ.

She nodded and closed her eyes against the couch again, trying to steady herself physically and mentally. The reason she was 'quitting' was because they'd been too busy for her to get them.

Zack and Ivy were talking strategy with Carmen, so Louise finally got some peace. Shadowsan took this moment to sit beside her, resting his arm behind her like they were young.

Rolling her eyes, she looked up at him with tired eyes. Weeks ago, she would've asked him what he was doing and pushed him away. But now she was too tired to fear the consequences, "hello there."

He knew what he was doing, but he too just wanted to enjoy something to feel like he was young. "Hi, are you okay? You're shaking and you look dazed."

"Mhmm." She hummed and leaned her head against his shoulder, she'd tried so many times to quit cigarettes. And the sting of withdrawing stung worse every time.

"Just um, I haven't smoked.. in awhile." Truthfully, it'd only been a day and a half, but that was torture. She knew withdrawing suddenly and without any support was a recipe for failure, but oh well.

He tilted his head in response, she didn't tell him she was addicted to cigarettes in the first place let alone going through withdrawal. "A-Are you okay, is there something you need to do? Shouldn't you have something to help you? Medicine?"

Louise laughed slightly at his worries and turned her head deeper into his neck, away from the light wrapping around her skull and the need of a cigarette. Just get through today, she thought to herself. It was cliché, but it had to get better at some point.

"I'm fine, I'll be better in a few days." Yawning, she closed her eyes finally, this time she didn't open them again for hours. Shadowsan lowered his arm to rest around her shoulders and tried to act discreetly while Carmen side eyed him.

Carmen knew there was something between them, she knew it. Not that she could prove anything, but there was something in the way they interacted. How they so easily became partners during capers, how they looked out for each other, how they were so comfortable around the other.

Shadowsan listened absent mindedly to the plans of new capers detailing the search for Carmen's mother. His mind was preoccupied with Louise, she hadn't told him how bad her addictions were eating away at her. Nor had they brought up her recurring nightmares. Louise would bolt up sweating and shivering from fear, but never told him what they were about.

After Shadowsan had gotten Louise to fall asleep in their room, he walked back down to eat a light dinner. Carmen also had the same idea, she was heating up pizza from a few nights ago in the oven.

Her eyes were eager, but her face looked very tired. Probably from the hours she'd spent trying to find her mother with a computer. She also knew that if her mother didn't want to be found, then she certainly wouldn't get far.

"Carmen, you are tired." He simply said and looked at the timer counting down.

Pursing her lips, Carmen looked up, "that's rich coming from you, since the train you've barely slept unless Louise is also."

"Well uh- She-" He relented once he realized he didn't have a retort, "that's different and you know it."

"Maybe it is, but you and Louise seem to be getting pretty comfy." Carmen teased and laughed to herself.

Shadowsan rubbed a hand over his face to disguise his blush while Carmen was cackling at his reaction. "Oh my gosh, you're smitten!" She put a hand on her chest to steady her breathing.

"Carmen." He lightly scolded and thanked the gods that the oven beeped and he took it upon himself to take it out.

She yawned and closed her computer, finally about to go to sleep. But first, she needed to ask him some questions, "did you and Louise.. like used to date?"

That was not exactly what Shadowsan expected, he poured some tea in a glass and prepared to answer the question, "um. Yes, we used to."

"Why'd you stop?" Carmen asked, innocently.

Shadowsan bit his cheek, "we.. got into an argument then she was sent to Argentina."

Her face dropped slightly but she pushed further, "what was the argument about?"

"Um. I couldn't express my feelings and she did so through anger and physical affection. Neither of us knew how to decipher the other's feelings, the only thing that kept us together was how much I loved her and she loved me." He explained, and it was all true.

---

"Remember when Countess Cleo forced our year to learn how to tango?" Louise asked and watched as the dancers synced with the mariachi band in the background.

Shadowsan let out a huff of laughter once the memories arose, "I do, that was an.. interesting class." He recalled, she looked quite beautiful that night, since Cleo insisted they all show up in formal attire.

Louise peered behind herself and Shadowsan, looking for a sign of Carmen. Breaking into VILE operations was one thing, but a government bank was another beast. Though Louise knew Carmen was talented, she tried not to worry and focused on the memories of learning to dance.

"I recall you having two left feet." She laughed to herself and thought back to how many times Shadowsan stepped on her feet. To be fair, he'd never worn dress shoes or had to be in sync with another person.

Shadowsan exhaled and rested at hand against his cheeks, covering his blush and looking annoyed. He hated how easily she riled him up and how badly he truly did want a... romantic relationship with her.

"Zack!" Ivy groaned after he pushed her into Louise's seat, in return making Louise slide into Shadowsan's personal space. "What? I was trying to do the tango.. but like sitting down." Zack defended himself and let Ivy back into her seat.

Ivy sighed in annoyance and reassumed her seat next to Louise instead of in her space.

Caught off guard, Shadowsan held Louise in place since she was close to falling off his chair. The antics of the twins were no foreign thing to him, but they still managed to throw him off sometimes.

Slightly blushing, Louise squeezed his hands to calm him and scooched out of his lap. They were no strangers to PDA, especially since they sleep in the same bed every night, but close in.. certain ways still managed to make them both blush.

"Right, sorry." Shadowsan said under his breath and bit the inside of his cheek.

---

"There." Lousie said with seriousness and stood up, seeing Carmen ascend the top of a building and a new operative crashing into where she was only moments ago.

Springing into action, Shadowsan ran ahead, Louise on his heels. His mind went in circles trying to identify the operative scaling the building. It had to be the newly graduated class since he had no recollection as to who it was.

"The flag pole." Lousie spoke, looking at the flag of Argentina and having an idea pop into her head. It was one of her favorite tricks, tying someone to a flag pole. Seeing the defeated looks on the person's face was just the cherry on top.

Shadowsan's head reeled back, "what? The flag pole?" They were both now running up stairs, but Louise climbed onto a storage cabinet and popped a tile out of the ceiling.

Sighing, Louise explained her idea to him, "I will tie the operative to the flag pole, just toss them down and I will take care of the rest."

Even to this day, Louise still managed to surprise him. He nodded and ran up to the roof top quietly. She smiled to herself and listened to the conversation above.

"So, all the good code names finally got taken?" Carmen taunted and pulled at the trap on her wrist. During this, Spinkick back flipped onto the rooftop to join.

Flytrap spun her weapon in the air and walked with Spinkick over to Carmen, "coach assured us you'd head to high ground."

Scoffing, Carmen replied, "VILE really made Catching Carmen Sandiego 101 a required course?"

Spinkick smirked and lowered his head, "tough class, but we aced it."

Out of thin air, Shadowsan appeared with his hands behind his back, surprising the duo but only making Louise and Carmen more at ease. "A shame that you were unable to take my class.. but I can still teach you a valuable lesson." His monotone voice carried out."

Without words, the duo make the decision to either take Carmen or Shadowsan. The duel did not last long, the ninja tossed Spinkick to be tied to the flag pole first.

Nimbly, Louise tied him and Flytrap upside down. Their scowling faces only made it more satisfying.

---

Louise's hands shook slightly as she held Carmen's locket, the picture of Dexter and a baby Carmen staring back at her. This was the first photo of her Vera showed her and this was the very locket the picture housed.

"It would seem that VILE is still teaching the fundamentals." Shadowsan said with pursed lips, pulling a dark green tracker from the inside of Carmen's hood. It was always expected that VILE knew their every move when in public, but he did not want VILE to intrude during a time that was so important to Carmen.

Carmen sighed, "pursuing leads will be that more difficult with VILE's new class here breathing down my neck." She adjusted her hood and started to listen as clicking on a keyboard filled her ear.

The memories, or lack thereof, haunted Louise. It was embarrassing to say that at the age Louise was, her body still craved a drink or some type of surely unhealthy coping mechanism. She turned her head towards Shadowsan and spoke, not really for him to reply but just to get the words out of her head.

"I want a drink, really badly." She said and looked at Carmen, Zack, and Ivy laughing. Her heart warm that Carmen had a family, but upset that Vera hadn't been a part of it.

He moved closer to her in the booth and spoke, "would you like to get some air instead?"

Louise blinked slowly and took a deep breath, "I don't want to think anymore. It's suffocating." Her lungs felt like cement and her skin burned. It was something she knew all too well, but the pain never stopped.

Shadowsan watched as she got up to take a walk and whispered to Carmen, "we'll be back, do whatever you need to do."

By the time he'd caught up to her, she was half a block away. Walking or running was the healthiest coping mechanism she had at her disposal. "You've seen that locket before, haven't you?"

"Yes, it was Vera's." Louise replied and sped up her walking to a jobbing pace. Vera would play with the locket constantly and swap the photos out. There'd be a new photo of baby Carmen every time Louise saw her, a new story to go along with it.

Matching Louise's pace, he chose his words carefully, "you feel like your past is haunting you." He knew the feeling, just like her his past constantly remained in the background.

Huffing angrily, Louise ran faster, as if trying to run from her feelings. Sometimes it worked, but not with Shadowsan wanting to talk about feelings like this, she thought it was caring for him to help her but she didn't want to dwell on them. She'd dwelled for too long.

---

Shadowsan occupied a booth in Carmen's jet, the VILE tracker pin weighing in his pocket. The plan configured so far was the older duo would lead VILE astray while Carmen investigated more leads of her mother.

"If she does manage to complete her quest, she could learn that her mother is a civilian or a thief." Shadowsan told Ivy through a phone call, expressing his concern about the identity Carmen's mother may now have.

Ivy nodded and sympathized with his words, "we're here for Carmen, promise." After that, they hung up and Shadowsan was left with his thoughts while Louise started at her reflection in the bathroom.

Her eyes were lively, and her skin less pale. This wasn't surprising considering she'd been outside more and in action more. She was healthier, but still felt so depressed.

After a tear fell without warning, she took that as a cue to leave the bathroom. Shadowsan looked up as she did, Louise slid into the booth beside him and met his eye. Things had been.. not weird with them lately. But the duo knew their relationship was a thin line between dating and not dating.

Exhaling, he broke the silence, "we are going to set up a dummy that replicates Carmen to lead the new operatives astray. Then return to Carmen's side in Vera Cruz."

Absent-mindedly, she nodded, "yes, that sounds good."

"Tell me what I just said," Shadowsan interrupts her thoughts. This was a common occurrence when they were younger, Louise just zoning out for hours. Usually it happens when her thoughts are too fast or after being immersed in something.

She faced him and realized she didn't have an answer. Sobering for her, she couldn't answer the question. Stammering, she tried to find a response, "um.. something about.. Carmen and a dummy?"

Pursing his lips he corrected her, "you are in your head too much. What's troubling you?"

"I.. I don't know. I really don't, I just feel panicked and like I need to get out of here. Like I'm in flight or fight constantly." She exhaled, finally piecing those thoughts together. Energy felt like it was leaving her body occasionally, leaving her weak for a few seconds, but even that felt too long.

---

"A wrestling match? What could VILE want from an event like that?" Louise questioned as Shadowsan read Player's message aloud. They'd just landed in Vera Cruz, both very jet lagged.

Rubbing his temples, Shadowsan replied, "something about Carmen breaking into the house she thought her mother occupied. But it clearly was not, and turned out to be a wrestler. Lupe.. Peligro gave us all VIP tickets."

Louise sighed to herself and hoped there'd be an opportunity for her to sleep. "We are to meet Carmen and the twins outside of the building?"

A nod from Shadowsan confirmed her thoughts and she leaned her head against the window. Allowing her thoughts to drift.. into sleep that is. Louise was a decently deep sleeper, while Shadowsan could barely get a blink of sleep.

Being a person that could never relax, Shadowsan watched over Louise as she slept. Making sure the driver didn't do anything sketchy, even though he seemed nice. It wouldn't be the first time they were cornered in a car.

The drive was relatively peaceful, as they drew closer to the wrestling match Louise's dreams intensified. Causing her to twitch and jerk slightly in her sleep, neither were foreign to Shadowsan but raised red flags in his head.

"Do you know how much work I had to go through to convince the faculty that you were worthy to kill Wolfe?" Brunt seethed, when she got no response she repeated it louder. "I said, do you know?!"

"No," Louise whispered, her voice small and her head turned away like a child.

This was a dream, she knew this, but it didn't make it any less terrifying. Brunt's rage and strong hits still rattled Louise's bones. There was a reason she smoked and drank, to run from these ghosts'. She always felt stupid after dreaming about Brunt, who she once saw as a mother.

The final slap from Brunt woke her up.

"Louise, Louise, Louise, Lou." Shadowsan patted her cheek repeatedly, holding a convulsing Louise. This wasn't necessarily a big deal to Louise, she was only shaking in her arms and legs. It happened after intense nightmares, but didn't scare Shadowsan any less.

He knew when the episode was over when she got completely still, the taxi driver said something but Shadowsan's brain dismissed it. They were at their stop, but Louise was not in her right mind yet.

"Fuck," she brought a hand to her head and sat up. Her eyes focused then she realized the care ride was over, Carmen and the twins eyeing Louise with disturbed looks on their faces. Sometimes Louise forgot how little they knew about her, since Shadowsan knew everything about her.

---

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked for what seemed the thousandth time. Louise was laying down in a separate room of the building with an ice pack on her forehead.

She nodded gently and used the pack to cover her eyes, the light agitating her headache further.

Noticing her wince at the light, Shadowsan reached over to dim the lights. Ivy and Zack were sitting in the seats to watch the match and Carmen was backstage with Lupe. He sat on the chair by the couch, watching the ice pack melt, getting Louise's hairline damp.

"I will go get another ice pack," he explained, leaving Louise alone with her thoughts.

Finally, Lousie left her body surrender to the pain. She let out a grunt of discomfort from the headache, her joints sore from the shaking. Headaches were not something she wasn't familiar with, but one so bad she couldn't focus her eyes was not something she dealt with often.

"Fucking hell," she adjusting herself on the couch and surveyed her surroundings.

There was an assortment of costumes, some dainty chairs, and a cup with office supplies. Letting herself relax after ensuring the room was safe, she sunk back into the couch. It was a relief to finally get some sleep peacefully.

Minutes passed, and Shadowsan was not back yet. That slightly concerned Louise, as the ice pack was nearly just water at this rate. But hopefully he was actually having fun watching the wrestling match. Recalling a memory from years ago, she remembered he hated wrestling, he deemed it performative with all the tricks when they could do things more subtly.

The door creaked and Louise visibly loosened, "what took you? I've been-"

"Louise.. what a lovely surprise." Coach Brunt smiled, looking at the shelf that held costume masks.

Louise paled and her eyes dilated, her heart beating out of her chest. She felt like an animal waiting to be pounced on, watching Brunt put on a mask.

Once she turned on Brunt's smile turned to a scowl, "I could've ended this 'Carmen Sandiego' junk on that train. Maelstrom forced me to let both of you walk."

The clicking of keys let him know that Player was onto something, "I was wondering that too. It does say on the website that their train was delayed.. But on local cameras I'm seeing Carmen, Zack, and Ivy leaving.." He mumbled that last part and kept scanning the cameras for Louise.

Shadowsan stopped pacing, "you do not see Louise?"

"Unless she's really hard to stop in a crowd, and the automatic systems I have in set then yeah. I don't think she's with Red." Player confirmed, seeing as one of his computer screens lit up with Carmen's caller ID.

"Oh, wait, this is Red now. I'll update you if Louise is there after." He said and hung up.

"Mmghhhh." Shadowsan groaned and threw the phone on the couch. Player did not understand the urgency of this situation, Louise was missing, Carmen clearly did not come back to HQ, and their train had been delayed.

He took it upon himself to call Louise repeatedly while sitting in an Uber to the train station. Apparently there had been some technical difficulties that made the train a bit slower, but nothing major. Something VILE did a bit often when cornering someone in a train to buy themselves time.

---

Louise let out a strangled breath as she tried to breathe through Coach Brunt's death grip. Her head was spinning and she could feel her bones contorting uncomfortably.

Carmen was still unconscious, Louise was trying to stay conscious while her vision went blurry. Just before she passed out, Brunt let her free and dropped her against the train seat.

"Zap her," her former teacher said. Vlad moved from the doorway to once again tase Louise until she passed out.

The train was silent and empty when Louise awoke. She brought a hand to her pounding head and sat up. It was much later in the day now, it was almost pitch black without the train station lights.

"Carmen?" She looked around the room, the memories of Brunt came back to her. Coach Brunt knew where to hit her, Louise made the mistake of thinking of her as a mother. Boy was she punished relentlessly because of it.

A sob escaped her throat, she felt pathetic, even after 20 years she couldn't stand up to her, she couldn't yell back, she couldn't try to save Carmen. Wiping her cheek, she stood up and left the room.

The hissing of the train alerted her she needed to get off fast, it was about to leave the station. Urgency tugged at her, but she couldn't get herself to care. She found a door to get off and it started to move, Louise leaped to the platform.

"Fuck," she whispered when she tripped and landed on her chin. A few people asked her if she was alright, the station was busy but Carmen or familiar faces were nowhere to be found. Louise was secretly thankful for that, she didn't want to go back to the Red Team.

It was cold in San Diego, the freezing air clung to Louise's bones and her brain. A walk would do her good, yes she could think and figure out how to tell Shadowsan she had to leave.

She wasn't worthy, she wasn't an asset, she was a liability. How could Louise let herself be this stupid? Reconnecting with Shadowsan and the fight against VILE? Something—everything—was bound to go wrong. And it almost had, she had to get away before everything went wrong.

Coach Brunt told her that she was going to tell Carmen everything, Carmen was sure to hate her then. And worse, despise Shadowsan because Brunt didn't know the whole story. There wouldn't be a 'team' to come back to.

Swallowing, she looked at her surroundings again, the train station was still in sight. The cold wind pushed against her but she trudged to the front desk to buy a ticket. She leaned against the counter heavily and looked at the train locations

"Um," she blinked to try to come back to reality, "can I have a ticket please?"

The man running the counter gave her a hesitant look and tilted his head, "are you okay, ma'am?"

Louise huffed and nodded, "I need a ticket, out of here, the ticket farthest from here." She watched his reaction, once she saw he wasn't moving to get her the damn ticket she spoke up again, "what is so crazy about me?"

He hesitated, "um, your chin. It's bleeding, do you need some napkins or gauze?"

"What?" She touched her chin, which was indeed bleeding badly, but Lousie brushed it off and asked again. "Give me a ticket, somewhere really far from here, now."

"Right.." The man nodded and started to type on his computer, "the farthest away is to Ne-" His eyes spotted something and they widened before he started to shout, "no running!"

Louise looked behind her to Shadowsan, he was running through the crowds of people, pushing them aside, and almost tripping. How did he find her? Though they always found a way back to each other, now and 20 years ago.

Carefully she limped to him, now noticing the pain her body carried. Her face carried a sad smile, and his desperate anguish. It felt like ages as they tried to reach their other half.

Shadowsan saw the blood on her neck and the limp, his mind didn't analyze what happened. It just yelled at him for not being by her side, yelling at him for knowing the mission to Botswana was too close to VILE, yelling at him for not acting on instinct faster.

They collided just before her legs collapsed under her, she let out a gasping sob. Fingers laced through his hair and arms wrapped around Louise's waist.

"You're here," she sniffled and tucked her head into his neck.

To look into her blue eyes, he pulled back, "I'm so sorry I wasn't with you." With hesitancy he tilted her head up to inspect her chin and look over her body, "what happened?"

"Um," she wiped her cheek and the reality came back to her. They were in the middle of a train stop, after she'd just been beaten, and god knows where Carmen was. "Wait, where's Carmen?"

Shadowsan rubbed her arms that he noticed were shivering and tilted his head, "she is not with you? She didn't tell you anything?"

"No.." Louise replied, eyes widening, "wait she's not with you?"

That meant Brunt really had told Carmen the "truth." Which would rightfully cause her to hate Shadowsan and Louise. It was Louise's idea to take a train from the airport to San Diego, VILE wouldn't go that far to pursue them. Time was proving to her again and again; she'd been gone from the VILE world for too long.

VILE had advanced more and more, too much for her mind to even comprehend. Shadowsan, Carmen, Zack, and Ivy were handling it like it was nothing. Because it was nothing to them, because they'd been fighting against it for years. While Louise ran away like a coward.

And even when she did come back, she couldn't keep up. She threw away her life to stalking the internet, clutching every piece of information about Shadowsan and VILE to her heart.

"I can't.." Louise leaned back to look around, "Brunt was on the train, she-she. Well it doesn't matter what she did to me, but she told Carmen what happened to her father, the report that you gave to The Faculty."

---

The duo didn't take a cab back, they walked. Shadowsan didn't object because his mind was overwhelmed with the tales Louise was telling him.

"I let her see that I was weak. I didn't even-I couldn't stand up to her, I could've stopped this. And I didn't because I'm weak." She choked, nothing else stung like being vulnerable to Louise.

Shadowsan listened to her, he was always cautious when she was opening up to him. It was like trying not to scare an animal, pitying her would just make her angry but not having a reaction would just make her feel ashamed.

"You did not know what VILE is now capable of, and that's my fault. I should have told you." He tried to reassure her, he knew the next move from her would be to keep blaming herself or blame him.

Thinking, Louise bit her cheek. Anger pulled at her, but she didn't have time to deal with their dysfunctional habits. "How are we going to get Carmen back?"

"I believe she will come back, I hope." Shadowsan replied, his words partly comforting himself. But he did truly think Carmen would come back, she knew not to trust VILE. However, the worst part is that the tale Brunt told was somewhat true.

And he would have to explain the murder of her father, that he almost carried out the deed.

Louise stopped walking, realization dawning on her, "we lied to her."

Hesitating, he nodded. Shadowsan knew of his mistakes, guilt ate at him for decades. Unfortunately, they were not always thought out.

"You never told me why you insisted on lying to her. We could have prevented this, if I'd just really thought about your words. God I'm so fucking stupid!" She groaned to herself and pulled at her scalp. It was her fault that she trusted Shadowsan and didn't question him.

"You know I was just trying to protect her, learning that her father was a part of the very thing she is against could cause her to question her life's mission." This was the justification he'd created from the months of guilt. The months he spent lying to her, the weeks he spent asking Louise to do it too.

She rolled her eyes and started to say something before relenting, "I would be angrier at you, but I understand why you did it. You have known Carmen all her life, and I haven't. But when she comes back, she will ask for the real truth and you will give it."

Shadowsan nodded in agreement, "yes, she will... get the truth." They fell into a silence again, the gravel of the uneven roads crunching under their shoes. The moon illuminated Louise's pale features, her pale blue eyes. It was something they bonded over, the fact they were both pale, living on an island with a high UV even in winter.

"Fuck." Louise hissed and gripped his arm so she didn't fall, her heel had caught on a larger rock. Gently, Shadowsan pulled her up, his hands on her waist.

"Ow, what the hell?" She snapped at him and held her ribcage, the "hug" Brunt gave Louise seemed to finally hit her. Bruises would surely be in her future, along with bandages for her chin.

"How badly did Brunt hurt you?" Shadowsan asked and helped her get up, this time holding her arms.

Louise hummed to gather her thoughts before speaking, "just a 'motherly' hug and some tasing."

"Then why is there a bruise on your cheek, a gash on your chin, and you're limping?" He retorted with a raised eye brown.

Pursing her lips she replied, "wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes, I would like to know." He tilted his head, "that's why I asked?"

---

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow." Louise whispered to herself repeatedly, Shadowsan was bandaging her torso that had already begun to turn purple.

Grimacing, he wrapped the final roll around her abdomen, "I'm sorry, it'll feel better in the morning."

She pulled her shirt back down and relaxed onto his bed, which was practically hers by this point.

It'd been days and Carmen had not returned to them. They were both struggling with it in their own way, Louise snapping easily and wanting alone time. Shadowsan still believed that Carmen was coming back, so he wasn't on edge and just making sure Louise was intact.

Over the days, Louise had taken Shadowsan's room, since he insisted her back was too bad for another night on the couch. But his was too so they agreed they would just share the bed.

"Are.. are you going to tell Carmen I know her mother?" She asked quietly, it was dawning on her that she too had a part in Wolfe's murder. And that Carmen would surely want details about her mother.

"Is there a reason I shouldn't?" Shadowsan asked, they didn't talk much about that time of their lives due to the guilt, so he didn't know why that information would be set aside.

Biting her cheek, she replied, "I just don't remember much, other than that Vera was nice and liked to talk about her baby. Like I said, I was drunk most of the time."

"I am sure Carmen would be satisfied with even a little information about her mother, and you do not have to tell her the.. bad parts." He explained to her, eyeing her dissociated expression.

Louise nodded and sighed, looking up at him, "Carmen seems to be a really good kid."

"Yes, she is. Surprisingly so since she was raised on an island full of horrible people." Shadowsan laid down next to her and looked up at the ceiling.

She nudged his shoulder, "not all of them were horrible." After saying that, her mind decided it was enough emotional time. Nimbly, she opened a cigarette box and began to light it between her lips.

"You are smoking again?" Shadowsan asked with narrowed eyes, it was amazing Louise was quitting drinking, but starting up an old addiction was not the way to combat it. Since she'd been with the Red Team, to his knowledge she hadn't smoked.

Louise rolled her eyes, "as if I ever stopped." She opened the drapes and looked out the window, eyeing the front door for a sign of anyone, "you still haven't been able to get in contact with that boy?"

"Player, and no I have not gotten a message back. It seems Carmen told him to cut contact." He answered and got up as well to get ready for the day.

By lunch time Louise took another nap, her dreams had not been peaceful since Brunt on the train. She would wake up in a cold sweat and a scream at the back of her throat. The dream was always forgotten once she woke up, but it still terrified her.

Shadowsan took this time to put up some masks in his meditating room and try to find some peace. It was getting tiring nursing Louise back to health. She wasn't very injured but he was not going to let her into the field soon. A creak turned his attention.

And he knew exactly who it was.

---

"Because I have spent nearly half my life watching you forge a remarkable path, one of honor and courage. A road of your own choosing. I feared that learning VILE's blood runs in your veins might cause you to question your life's mission." Shadowsan looked down from Carmen's hard gaze, tears stinging his eyes.

"I feared providing you with any excuse to veer from your course, against your one true enemy." He exhaled and looked up at Carmen, ashamed of his mistakes but ready to correct them.

Carmen swallowed thickly, also fighting tears, "and um.. why did Louise not kill my father? She chickened out? Found a way out of VILE?"

"Ah.." Shadowsan started to say, unsure how to word the answer without going against Louise's wishes," Louise.. knew your mother. Once she learned Wolfe had started a family, it was enough for her to step back fully."

That caused Carmen to blot up, "Louise knew my mother? And you didn't tell me this? She didn't tell me this?" She muttered to herself about how mad she was and waited for a response.

Louise's lips pursed, "why are you going to Russia?" It was her mother's country, and not a country she was too fond of.

"Because we have intel that Moscow is where VILE is going to strike next." Shadowsan explained to her.

"Wait, all of what we theorized about yesterday were things we were actually going to do? That-" She eyed Carmen at the twins, not wanting to say they were too young, but meaning that."

"Listen, if we don't do something about it no one will, and VILE will win. Which is arguably worse than a few young people having some traumatic stories." Carmen reassured Lousie and picked up her laptop, looking at Shadowsan as she said the next thing.

"Looks like we're headed to Moscow."

Shadowsan nodded, but his eyes went to Louise. Wondering what her part in all of this could be. He did not want her in on the action but also did not want her to feel out of place.

"It is going to be difficult getting you guys IDs to get in with the language barrier, but I'll have it done by the time you guys are off the plane." Player said thoughtfully.

Shadowsan's eyes went to Louise, "Russian was your first language, was it not?"

Louise nodded, "yes..? What about it?" She asked nervously, knowing he would try to involve her into it somehow.

"Looks like the three of us are going to Moscow." Carmen confirmed, and left the room before hollering, "we leave in an hour!"

"Uhhh." Louise chuckled nervously, Shadowsan looked at her with concerned eyes.

"Is that okay?" He asked.

"Yes, yes, I'm just nervous. I haven't been on a caper in 20 years, but I'm just translating right?" She asked and stood up.

---

Carmen, Shadowsan, and Louise boarded Carmen's jet and took a seat. Carmen broke the air and plopped her laptop in Louise's lap.

"So any tips on how to infiltrate a Russian government building?" She asked.

Louise chuckled lightly at that, "um, not really, just touch up on your Russian accents just in case. You are only trying to locate the server room right?"

In response to that, Carmen nodded. "We get into the server room, keep whatever VILE operative out, and supply a flash drive."

Shadowsan handed Louise some earrings she gave him a weird look before he explained himself. "They're earrings that all of us can communicate with."

Louise looked to Shadowsan's ears, "you? wearing earrings?" When she saw he was not, she looked back at his face.

"The capers I do participate in, I am usually with Carmen, who is wearing earrings, or I use my phone for communication." He said to her as Louise put on the earrings.

She looked at Carmen, "so when I talk you can hear me or something?"

Carmen chuckled, "no hold down the right earring, then say what you need to say. The left alerts Player and us that you are in immediate danger."

Louise nodded and leaned back into her seat, "do you have uniforms?"

(time skip to when they are about to land and Carmen and Shadowsan have changed into the Russian uniforms)

Louise chuckled and adjusted Shadowsan's collar, "this reminds me of my father." Louise's father was a general in the Russian military, which is how her parents met.

Shadowsan pursed his lips, "is that a good thing?"

In response to that, Louise shrugged, "my father was not a bad man, just an extremely family oriented man." She looked down at his attire again, "your tie looks terrible."

Lousie took it upon herself to tie it herself, since she knew he did not know how to tie a tie.

"I was never one for formal attire." He defended himself, feeling a bit awkward at their proximity. Her hands were working nimbly on his tie, both of their eyes on his chest before Carmen walked out from the airplane bathroom.

"How do I look?" She asked and straightened her coat.

Louise smiled, "lovely, darling. Your hat is off though, may I see it?" She asked as she with Shadowsan's tie.

Carmen let Louise adjust her hat and eyed the energy between her and Shadowsan, Carmen knew they had a history but did not know any details. At first they seemed, well Louise seemed like she hated Shadowsan, but now they could be mistaken as a couple.

"Now, you two look great." Louise said and stepped back to look at the both of them, her hands clasped on her chest.

"We both have IDs." Carmen handed his to Shadowsan and looked to Louise to give her instructions, "you will stay here and listen in. Player will be keeping you updated through your ear piece. When we get back we may need some translations. But this should be a very easy mission."

Shadowsan nodded once in agreement and looked over Louise once more before following Carmen out of the plane.

"Good luck, bye." Louise said and locked the plane door behind them.

---(i'm going to insert a transcript of this ep because i love this one sm and so you can remember)

"I will take the Eel." Shadowsan says once we entered the server room, running after Neal.

Carmen nods in agreement and darts to the server, "I'll take the server."

Carmen inserts her lipstick flash drive into the computer, "Player, uplink's live. See if you can retrace Neal's slimy trail."

Shadowsan chases after Neal, grabbing onto his arm as Neal replies, "Ah, Instructor Shadowsan. When they told me you defected over to the red side, I didn't realize they meant Russia."

His face hardens and he demands, "I will take the data."

Neal plants his feet on the ground and pushes hard away, "you will try!"

As Neal slips out of his grasp he laughs and jabs, "butterfingers!"

Shadowsan grabs him, grunting.

"Oh, pretty slick. But I'm slicker!" Neal teases and slips to the floor again, contorting his legs and knocking Shadowsan onto the ground. Who lays there for a moment in frustration grunting, "Aah!'

"Hey, get a grip! Do you mind if I vent?" Neal interjects and slithers away through the air vents, cooing.

Carmen catches up to Shadowsan and they both look up at the air vent Neal was previously in, Shadowsan was fuming.

While the duo was exiting The Kremlin, Louise was having technical difficulties.

"Player? Player? Are you there? Is Shadowsan okay? What about Carmen?" Louise said and tapped her left earring repeatedly.

What tapping the left earring was really doing was sending alerts to Player, Shadowsan, and Carmen she was in immediate danger.

"Louise? Louise, are you okay?" Player finally answers, typing quickly in a panicked manner.

"Uh, yes, why? I was just wondering if Shadowsan and Carmen were alright?" Louise answered, when she heard Player's relieved sigh she tilted her head, "did I do something wrong?"