#shacey

Before he met Maggie, Shane never felt the pull of paternal instincts. When Braden was born, those instincts only slowly started to come about. It took him years and three kids to finally be able to handle having sons.

And then Maggie got pregnant again.

And then she died and left him with a daughter.

And now he’s back at square one.

Single parents will tell you how hard it is to raise your children alone. They’ll go into details about all the things they had to learn to do on their own, how they had to make sacrifices, how there were things they’d miss and how they’d fail their kids a million times over.

Shane thought he was ready for that. He thought he could handle it.

How fucking naïve he’d been.

The first few years passed in a haze. Grief and guilt over the loss of Maggie gave way to exhaustion and loneliness. Raising their children was supposed to be something they did together, and now Shane was failing at doing it alone.

Who knew what would have become of his children if he hadn’t had his men to fall back on. His boys were picked up from school by gunmen. His daughter had had her diaper changed by felons. Dinners were made by the old ladies of convicts and thieves. Not exactly wholesome living.

Still, Shane couldn’t help but feel like something was coming. There was a change headed his way.

“Dylan Finnegan, hold on to your brother’s hand or so help me,” Shane said gruffly, Molly in one hand and Francis latched on to the other. His oldest looked up at him with the same exasperated look Shane assumed must be on his face. He’d like to believe that Dylan would grow out of this, but he knew better. Dylan was all Finnegan and they never grew out of anything.

When his boys finally linked hands, they set off down the block, making their way down the street to the bus stop. They walked past the club, the small pharmacy, and the abandoned pizzeria on their way.

“Daddy, look!” Molly said, tugging her father off their path to look into the window of the old shop and point. “It’s a cookie!”

Braden and Dylan paused and turned at their sister’s declaration. They let go of each other to hustle back and take their own look inside. A sign brightly declaring ‘Coming soon!’ with all sorts of baked confections.

“Someone’s moving in!” Braden said.

“So it seems,” Shane said with a nod. “Alright lads, you’ve had your look. We’re going to miss the bus if we don’t get goin’.” With that, he led his children away, looking back only to catch a flash of red hair moving around.

Everyday on their way to school after that, they stopped and looked in on the new bakery. Once or twice, a smiling young woman would wave at them and his children would wave back. Shane would smile bemusedly and offer a simple nod instead. If they only had more time, Shane was sure she’d even come out and say hello.

He could tell as the grand opening date came closer and closer, his children were getting more excited by the day. While Shane couldn’t even imagine going to a bakery as a child, he knew he wanted better for his brood. It didn’t take much convincing for him to agree to take them. Any resistance he might have felt left him as soon as he saw the hopeful look on Francis’ eyes.

So he agreed to take them as simple as that.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he felt like something was clicking into place.

The bakery opened on a Saturday and it was certainly eventful. The neighborhood wasn’t the sort of place you imagined a sugar-sweet bakery full of bright colors and brighter frostings to be. Between Shane’s club and some of the other seedier businesses, Shane wasn’t sure how long this place would last. But maybe even convicts, thieves, and gunmen needed to buy sweets every now and then.

It certainly would help sell his doting single father image.

Braden and Dylan dashed ahead as soon as they could. Molly tugged impatiently, but it was Francis who looked up in awe. A wonderous smile spread across his face and Shane’s chest ached at the sight of it. His youngest son had so much of his mother in him, he wished she could see it.

He followed them, letting his kids explore the new space. Molly pressed her face against the glass case of cookies. Braden and Dylan were fighting about what cake flavor was better. Francis was just taking it all in. The crowded shop didn’t seem to bother any of them at all.

“Hi there! Welcome!” came a voice behind him that seemed just as sweet as the fudge Molly had moved on to.

He turned and paused. It was as if something was saying there you are. The young woman in front of him had an infectious smile, red hair, and bright green eyes. His heart skipped a beat in a way it hadn’t since Maggie and Shane knew whatever he had felt coming was here.

“Hello.”

Shane looked down and was surprised to see it was his youngest son who had spoken. Francis didn’t take to new people easily, but here he was beaming at the stranger.

She knelt to his level and offered his son the same blinding smile she’d given to him. “And just who might you be?” she asked.

“Frankie Finnegan,” he introduced himself. “I like your shop,” he added shyly.

“I like it, too!” Molly added, pushing herself in front to offer a gap-toothed smile of her own.

“Molly,” Shane warned. “Don’t shove.”

She looked up at him and Shane swore she rolled her eyes. His daughter was going to be trouble, he could already tell. He held out a hand to help the woman up. “I’m Shane Finnegan. I own the bar a few doors down,” he told her. “Molly and Francis are my youngest two. My oldest boys are the two over there fightin’ about frosting,” he told her pointing to the two troublesome boys at the counter trying to sneak a free taste.

She turned to see and laughed at the sight of them, sending warmth down Shane’s spine. “Well, hello to all of you!” she said when she turned back, looking down at his children before sending a look his way. “My name is Lacey and I am very excited you guys were able to come today. I’ve seen you on your way to school so I was hoping you’d come in.” She knelt down again. “Now I have a very important question for you two; what’s your favorite cookie?” she asked.

Molly, of course, shouted out her answer first but Francis took some time to think of his. When they both responded, Lacey nodded resolutely and stood up. “Come with me,” she said, leading them through the crowd with ease, grinning and greeting people along the way. She took both their hands and walked them around the counter. Shane watched with a small smile on his lips, enchanted by how quickly they took to her. “Now, as long as it’s okay with dad, how about some free samples of your favorite cookies?” she asked, looking up at Shane to make sure it was okay.

Molly and Francis spun to look at their dad, pleading with him to agree. At his nod, they cheered and turned back to her excitedly. Soon enough, Braden and Dylan made their way over and all but demanded the same treatment, which Lacey seemed thrilled to give.

When his kids were happily munching on their free cookie, Lacey made her way over to him. “And what about yours?” she asked. “Can’t leave you out,” she said before he had a chance to argue.

Shane hesitated for a moment. It wasn’t a commitment. It wasn’t even a promise of something. Just a cookie. Still, he couldn’t help but feel like it could lead to so much more than that. He grinned at her, deciding that whatever came his way would be worth it. “I don’t think I have a favorite. What’s yours? Maybe it’ll end up being mine, too.”

Lacey seemed to pause for a moment before another smile blossomed on her pretty face. “Well, we’ll just have to find your favorite, won’t we?”

Shane didn’t think at the time that the comment would lead to something, but any time he brought the kids in, Lacey made him try a new cookie. It seemed like finding his favorite was now a quest for her. After each new sample, which she insisted was free and he insisted on paying for, she asked him what he thought. Her excited smiles always made him tell her the same thing. “Best one yet, but I’m not sure if it’s a favorite.”

She would laugh and tell him they’d just need to keep trying. Shane’s heart would skip a beat again and he’d pretend it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t do for a man in his line of work to develop feelings for someone as innocent as Lacey. He’d done that before and it had ended in tragedy.

Still, like an itch, he kept going back. Most often with his children and occasionally without them. Each time, Lacey’s face would light up at the sight of him. Through his visits, they’d started to get to know each other. He asked her how she settled in this neighborhood while she asked him about his kids and their likes and dislikes. Simple questions led to deeper conversations about failures and past loves. He told her bits and pieces about Maggie. She opened up to him about her family.

This nothing was quickly becoming something, and he didn’t know what to do with it.

One night, he dreamed of Maggie. Not how she was, but how she could have looked now. A few years more weather-worn with streaks of grey they probably would have attributed to Braden and Dylan. She had more laugh lines and Shane felt lighter seeing her this way.

What are you waiting for? Dream Maggie had asked him. You can’t be afraid of opening your heart up to someone, Shane Finnegan. All my hard work would be for nothing if you did that.

Shane tried to ask her what she meant by that, but his late wife just laughed.

You get to love again, Shane. In fact, I insist on it. You get to fall in love and be happy. She’ll be good for you. She’ll be good for all of you, Maggie said to him, taking his hands in hers.

When he didn’t say anything, Dream Maggie leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Lacey is your second chance, my love. Don’t let her slip away.

He shot out of bed after that, scrubbing his hands down his face. He swore he could still a trace of Maggie’s kiss.

The next morning, after dropping the kids off at the bus, Shane went right to the bakery. Lacey was in the back and called out as soon as she heard the bell over the door ring. “I’ll be right out!”

Shane pressed his hands against the counter as he waited, nervously tapping his fingers. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this way.

When she saw him, there was that smile again. “Shane! What are you doin’ here?” she asked.

“I was wonderin’ if you’d like to get some coffee sometime?” he asked without delay and getting right to the point.

Lacey arched an eyebrow at that, though a smile played at the corners of her lips. “Depends,” she started with a small smirk. “You asking me out on a date, Finnegan?” she asked teasingly.

Shane smiled softly. “That’s exactly what I’m doin’, Lace. You acceptin’?”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing,” she echoed.

He grinned wider than he had in ages. He could picture this, them, together and it felt right. Maybe he didn’t have to do this alone after all.