#sextember indeed

general conclusions of what was discussed:

rhett believes his brother got some variation of a sex talk from his parents but he never did. he likened it to his parents assuming he’d hear from the church when he needed to. he’s never discussed the topic with them to this day, from what he implied. eventually, the church did begin discussing sex and that you should not be having it and those attitudes fell in line. prior to that, both appear to have been pretty much left to figure it out for themselves. he kept going back to this and at one point even tried to make it seem like he doesn’t blame his parents and has done similar things with his own sons, but he emphasizes repeatedly that he was given no guidance about anything besides what not to do eventually. a caveboy discovering fire was an approximated analogy, for example. 

link’s mom gave him a diagram and addressed the topic with clinical sensibilities. it was made it clear if he had questions he should raise them, but he never wanted to. link also made it clear that while rhett discovered most of this information from inviting himself to friends houses who had older brothers and having one himself, he had even less of an idea about any of it because rhett didn’t share. he does point out that they’ll discuss the purity aspects next time, but they did begin having dialogues about the topic when they began to try to control the same urges when they started to see how incompatible these actions/thoughts were with the church’s views. 

both came off as wanting to acknowledge the fact that both paths were rocky and could have used more open talk about the topic (probably an impetus for the series). link is a self-described late bloomer, but he also indicates that they both fairly slow-going and were following what they deemed normal or expected, watching how others and one another navigated the topics, then making many decisions about their own actions or expectations. 

it’s conjecture, but these episodes are really seeming to explicitly be about them discussing the topic openly with each other for the first time, to me. which is what i was expecting and i appreciate that they’re willing to be that vulnerable/gutsy to share with anyone let alone all of us. the way they reacted to and discussed things makes it clear some of these experiences were still private and embarrassing up until when the story was told. rhett sharing his first time jerking off and asking link not to make him feel ashamed of bringing it up in the first place, for example, comes to mind. i think it’s about them wearing down the filter that they have around the topic while testing the waters for how poorly it’ll be received (by general listeners, not fans who don’t vibe) if they were do this more often. 

it’s A Lot, but it’s always refreshing to hear the two process their journey beyond of the shame of their conservative upbringing. and to just to hear them talk about dicks and clits and strap-ons, honestly. 

i think being open and loud about enjoying sex will be a major throughline because they didn’t get that and wish they had.

out of order highlights, from memory (heavily pet paraphrased):

rhett believes pussy is “the pinnacle of creation.”

link didn’t want his parents to know if he was dating at all, even once he started, because it meant people knew he could potentially be intimate with that person and it was too much to handle discussing.

rhett found out about sex by his brother showing him a vintage magazine with women athletes in uniform, posed nude. with lots of bush.

rhett found out sperm wasn’t a powder when a friend showed him their older brother’s used and dried out underwear at a sleepover.

link remembers makeout parties in grade school being a lot of pressure on the attendees in fear they’d be found in a compromising position by the adults.

rhett thought he broke his dick the first time he jerked off. he thought powder was supposed to come out, not semen. the same time, he also had an elaborate fantasy about the girls he thought were cute at school coming up to him and taking turns inspecting his dick while he was jerking off on a medical gurney in an observation room.

link’s mom gave him a pamphlet that explains the functional mechanics and had a diagram of an erection. he read this in the closet with a flashlight but never discussed it with rhett or anyone else at the time.

rhett would discuss sex with other guys but not link or ben because he didn’t feel appropriate to discuss with them. he let the guys he hung out with that were into sex lead the discussion/exploration.

link doesn’t remember the first time he jerked off. he estimates it beginning around 7th grade, based on remembering a victoria’s secret catalog being left out when he had friends stop by and feeling awkward that they might put two and two together.

link remembers being very into the lingerie worn by the women and specifically likes the panties with suspenders attached to a garter or stockings below

rhett’s exhibitionism dates back to him “heavy petting” (and being pet in turn by) a girlfriend during a church lock-in, where they were laying in sleeping bags, next to link and others, listening to a pastor address the crowd.

rhett told link about this afterwards and it’s implied this is around the time where they began discussing the subject.

link saw a portion of the sex scene in lethal weapon ii by accident very early, with his dad and was only aware it was wrong and he shouldn’t be watching, not really what was going on onscreen.

rhett eventually stopped dating the girl from the lock-in because of that experience at the lock-in.

link’s initial impressions of porn and other adult content was that it was wrong which is why it was stolen, hidden in the woods, fast forwarded through or otherwise made inaccessible. he burned porn in the woods because the temptation to look at it felt so wrong and strong.

they both have only had sex with their wives.

they both waited for marriage to have sex.