#setup...

YOURE GOING TO REGRET FUCKING WITH LABUBU. YOURE GOING TYOU ARE GOING TO PISS. BLOOD. ONE MILLION YEARS ON THE MOUNTAIN.

when i was in middle school i was friends with this guy called sloppy john. we all called him sloppy john because he was the only person on earth who could stomach the cafeteria sloppy joe sandwiches every wednesday, and not only could he stomach them, he LIKED them, like he would take all of ours off our trays (blessed sloppy john delivering us from evil) and just stuff them into his gaping maw like an absolute fucking champ, and we all chanted “go sloppy john! go sloppy john!” and the lunch aids and the deans didn’t even stop us because they were either too impressed or too horrified to do anything. anyway he moved away in 8th grade and i kinda forgot about him until now. i just found out he went to prison for attempted murder. that’s not what bothers me though, what bothers me is that apparently this whole time his name was dave. like from homestuck.

Hey do you mind not posting about Sonic as much? I don’t want to be that guy but it’s a little bit insensitive. We’re mutuals and it’s stated pretty clearly in my carrd that Sonic the Hedgehog is a touchy subject for me, given that I miss my pet hedgehog Sonic every single day of my life. She’s not dead by the way…I’m not traumadumping in your inbox. It’s just that my bitch ex-friend stole her from me as revenge for writing a callout post about them. And like, come on, I can’t believe they expected me NOT to write a callout post after I found out they write Good Omens abortion fanfic. That’s so fucked up. Aziraphale would never be anti-choice. Anyway…please just stop posting about Sonic the Hedgehog. I’m crying just thinking about my sweet angel baby. I’m so upset. I’m gonna go write another callout post to soothe my nerves. FUCK you Hunter

hey i’m really sorry because you were a really cool mutual but for the record i have to unfollow you because the purple creature in your profile picture (whatever she’s from) (or they sorry i don’t want to assume the beast’s pronouns) (i love all genders) looks almost exactly like my ex girlfriend’s fursona and i tried to ignore that for a while because i’m not the kind of pussy who would unfollow someone because their creature looks like my ex’s fursona but get this: she drew her fursona hitting me (human) (i’m not a furry) (nothing against them) (i love all genders) with a car (honda civic) and sent it to me from a burner account on toyhouse. so needless to say i can’t keep doing this. i’m gonna miss your posts though you were a real one i loved when you would say shit like “it’s (the f slur) wednesday post knuckles”

hey i just wanted to let you know there's a darling little frog in your icon? he's kind of swag with it so maybe let him stay but i just wanted to make you aware of the situation