#sethsclearwater

"paul," you giggled his name, rolling onto your other side so you could face him. paul, still half asleep with his face buried in the pillow, seized the opportunity and pulled you even closer to his side. you laughed again as he got one hand firmly wedged around your side, resting on your ribcage, "it's been like 10 hours since we've gotten up, i gotta eat," you mused, running one hand up his arm and neck to thread your fingers through his inky hair.

paul grumbled something incoherent into the pillow, and before you had a second to ask what he was talking about, he was lifting his head to look over at you, "food?" he repeated back to you and you let out another giggle, laughing as you scratched at his scalp.

"preferably lots of it. i'm starving," you joked, squealing when he tightened his grip on your side to roll you over to the other side of him, "paul!" you laughed, moving to get up again but he just squeezed you again, not-so-subtly letting you know he definitely didn't want you going anywhere anytime soon.

"i've got some in the nightstand," his voice was still raspy as he woke himself up, one hand still firmly around you while the other one reached around blindly at your nightstand for a moment before he latched onto whatever food stash he apparently kept in your bedroom without telling you.

"a granola bar?" you asked when he handed it to you, "how long has that been in there for? and why are you keeping food in here? the kitchen is like-" you started but your ramblings were cut short as paul rolled onto his side to wrap both arms around you, pulling you tightly into his chest.

“no manners either, charming,” you could faintly make out paul muttering to himself as you took in the open layout of the house. you rolled your eyes at his comment; if you didn’t have any manners, then he sure as hell didn’t either. 

you jumped when you felt his calloused hand slide over the back of your neck, wrapping his hand around with just enough pressure to guide you toward the couch. you knew he definitely felt how much he’d startled you, but he didn’t comment on it, “sit,” he ordered, and you weren’t sure where your earlier confidence had gone - it definitely left with embry and seth because you found yourself dumbly complying, knees buckling as you sat down on his couch.

paul paused for a moment too long as you sank back into the worn couch, suddenly much more self-conscious as you watched the way he was staring at you.

you couldn’t force yourself to meet his gaze, but his gaze was almost suffocating. although it felt like it was longer, you knew it could’ve only been a few seconds before he let out a heavy, disappointed sigh, and headed to sit down on the completely opposite corner of the couch. 

he didn’t say anything as he leaned forward to rest his elbows against his knees, hands clasped while he watched you. his gaze remained heavy as ever, and you found yourself shrinking back further into the couch in a vain attempt to escape it.

“i’m sorry.”

you almost didn’t hear it, his words catching you so entirely off guard that your expression morphed from an uncomfortable one to a confused one. 

“what?” you mentally cursed yourself when you heard the question escape your lips.

if paul could’ve looked more disappointed in you, you were sure he would’ve. another heavy sigh escaped his lips as he glowered at you, “i’m not gonna say it again. i thought you said we were groveling?” 

you sucked in a breath, cocking your head to the side as you ran through what exactly he was getting at. of course, he was annoyed; he just figured out how to apologize, and, from what you guessed, you figured he wasn’t exactly known for apologizing. and now you were acting like an idiot when he did. 

you slowly nodded, “i’m sorry too then,” you responded, “i didn’t mean to make you upset like that. i just- i guess i just figured that you were okay with me doing things with embry and seth but i should’ve talked to you all about it before…” you trailed off, not really interested in describing what you and embry were doing the night prior that pissed paul off enough to lose control of himself and shift.

he was incredibly hard to read, but he seemed to take what you were saying to heart, his features softening just enough to have you letting your guard down a bit. 

“i am okay with you fucking them,” he emphasized. almost immediately, a frown crossed your face as you stuttered out some half assed response to him. 

“i- what? i’m not-” you stumbled over your words, cheeks heating up as you feebly attempted to explain yourself, “i’m not fucking anyone.” 

paul scoffed, “well it didn’t look like that last night-” he started, but you cut him off, rolling your eyes.

“you’re in his head! you know exactly what we did!” you countered, crossing your arms over your chest, the thrumming in your mind notching up when you began bickering with him again.

he opened his mouth to respond but you cut him off again, “don’t-” you glared at him before continuing, “don’t talk to me right now. that humming is back and i’m not having you blow up for no fucking reason again,” despite the worry creeping through your veins, you managed to keep a strong face as paul thought through the pros and cons of continuing with you.

shockingly, he let out a heavy sigh, nodding as he pushed himself up from his spot on the edge of the couch. he looked like he was trying to figure out something to say to you, but the buzzing was drowning out any rational thoughts either of you had, so he seemed to settle on getting away from you, quickly heading out of the living room and down the hall to what you assumed was his bedroom.

you exhaled, slumping back into the couch, allowing your eyes to fall shut as you reached up to gently rub at your temples in a weak attempt to dull the ache there. between your head and your hips - you weren’t feeling great these days and were beginning to struggle to wrap your head around how exactly you were going to deal with that for the rest of your life.

with paul away from you, it became more manageable, allowing the rational part of your brain to take over enough to slow your breathing until you were able to calm yourself back down, the humming and pain reduced to its regular levels. still noticeable, but quiet and painless enough that you were able to tune it out again for the most part. 

you still didn’t trust yourself to see him again so soon, deciding to wait it out for a few minutes before you went searching for him. you settled for counting to 300, figuring that was enough time to completely calm yourself back down before you and paul continued your conversation.

it went by much slower than you thought, partially because you kept getting lost in your own thoughts about everything and had to start over a few times and also partially because some part of you, some more apprehensive part, counted much slower than you needed to to try and delay how long you had before you needed to find him again and finish what you started.

eventually, though, you reached your arbitrary finish line and, before you could work yourself up about it, you sucked in a breath and got up from the couch, forcing your legs to walk yourself down the short hallway you’d seen paul go down a few minutes prior.

“paul?” your voice was soft as you said his name. there were three doors near the end of the hallway, and you honestly had no idea which one he’d gone into. it didn’t take long to figure out, though, as you watched him step into the doorframe of his bedroom, the soft light from what you assumed was a lamp in there backlighting him.

a loud crack tore through the silence between you two, the drizzle outside quickly being replaced by a storm as thunder crashed in the skies above you. paul caught the way you jumped from the sudden noise, letting out a breathy laugh, “you afraid of storms, princess?” he asked, smiling when he realized you were glowering at him and his teasing.

“not afraid of storms,” you grumbled, “jus’ got startled-” as if on queue, another loud clap came crashing down, paul’s laughter echoing with it when he saw you jump again, grumbling something to yourself about stupid coastal storms.

you hadn’t even realized how close you’d gotten to him until you could feel the warmth radiating off of him, “you sure about that?” paul teased, smile widening when he watched the way you looked up at him, from his smirk over to his bulging bicep as he leaned against the doorway of his room.

“has anyone ever told you how obnoxious you are?” you asked, the glare you were serving up at him nearly faltering when he just laughed in your face again, clearly unfazed by your weak show of force. 

the rain that had begun pounding against the window helped dull the humming that had begun to scale up in the back of your mind again, but, unlike last time, this time you couldn’t help but not care as the two of you stared at each other.

“all the time, princess,” he drolled, “you gonna do something about it?” 

his question caught you off guard again, and your mind couldn’t figure out how you felt about his question. 

your brain short-circuited while you attempted to come up with a response, jaw dropping as you looked up at him in disbelief, while he just continued to hold that lazy smirk on his face, his tongue running over his teeth as he waited for you to make up your mind.

he raised his eyebrows, baiting you even further when he watched your internal battle play out on your expressions, “can’t decide, princess?” 

in a split-second decision, you decided to take matters into your own hands, stepping closer to him so your chest brushed up against his. you refused to break his eyes, suddenly quite interested in flustering him just as much as he had you. 

his brown eyes flickered between yours and your fingers, where they were currently dancing along the hemline of his sweatpants.

yea, two could play at this game.

you just hooked your fingers around the waistband, unable to hide the smile that crossed your face when paul sucked in a breath as he felt your fingers against his naval. you only left them there for a moment, unhooking your fingers as soon as you got a reaction from him, instead opting to run your fingers across the solid wall of muscle that was his abdomen.

you finally broke his gaze, enjoying yourself as you shamelessly ogled him, “what are you doing?” paul’s voice was tight as he asked. 

you exhaled a laugh when you saw his sweatpants beginning to tent, his cock clearly stirring awake as you toyed with him.

“doing something about it,” you’d barely gotten your words out before you were wrapping one hand around his neck, tugging him down to your level to smash your lips against his, the thrumming in your mind blocking out anything that wasn’t paul. 

his petrichor and oak scent flooded your nose, his body dwarfing yours as he backed you against the doorframe, his hands almost immediately finding purchase against your hips as the two of you molded together. 

zaps of pleasure shot up your spine as he rolled his hips against yours, his bulge rocking into your core with enough pleasure to have you moaning into his mouth despite the layers of fabric between you. 

you both seemed to be overtaken with desperation, paul’s hands sliding down to your thighs, and suddenly you were being lifted, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as your fingers knotted deeper in his hair.

“fuck- paul-” your whines came out muffled against his mouth as you felt the heat in your belly spreading, the fire in your veins overtaking you with such a ferocity you weren’t sure you’d even be able to support yourself much longer.

paul seemed just as lost to it as you were, though he managed to get out a breathy laugh, his bare chest reverberating with it as he carried you to his bed, “barely even touched you yet,” he murmured, one hand sliding up your back as he laid you down on his bed, the thin comforter immediately coccooning around you. 

you had half a mind to ask him why his sheets were so thin, but when you felt his warmth envelope you again, you shut that down, instead tightening your fingers in his hair to tug him back down and kiss him again. 

impatient with the fire rapidly burning through your veins again, you slid your free hand down his bare chest, hooking your fingers around his sweatpants just enough so he’d hopefully get the hint on what you wanted. 

paul muffled his groan against your lips, reluctantly parting from you, breathing heavy as he asked, “you’ve been fucked before, right?” 

you hadn’t really given much thought to having this conversation with him, and also, didn’t really think he’d be bothering with it, given how intense everything was with the two of you - you didn’t think he’d be able to control himself enough to find the time to ask.

you nodded, “it’s been a while though,” you responded breathlessly, fingers tightening around his sweatpants as you waited for his response.

“you tell me if it hurts then. don’t need clearwater kicking my ass for anything else,” he grumbled, sitting back on his knees, hands sliding down to your waist. 

his fingers felt like a furnace against your skin, not helping the already raging inferno in your body as he tugged your shirt up and over your head.

“he said it’s fine,” you whispered, lifting your arms to help him get your shirt off, cheeks flushing when you watched his head cock to the side as he took in your words, his gaze drifting down to your chest. 

he had to snap himself out of the trance he was in, staring at your breasts, when he heard your response though, “you asked seth clearwater if you could fuck me, and he agreed?” he asked incredulously, and you huffed, rolling your eyes. 

“him and embry said it’s fine as long as they can each have a date with me afterward,” you quickly explained, sitting up on your elbow, your other hand reaching forward to tug at his sweatpants in a weak attempt to pull him back down on top of you.

paul let out a loud laugh at that, “well they’re idiots for agreeing to that.”

you weren’t sure you’d ever seen him look genuinely pleased with himself, but he definitely seemed like he was here, a broad smile on his face as he unhooked your fingers from his sweatpants, much to your chagrin.

“can you just hurry up already? i feel like i’m on f-” paul’s weight settled back on top of you, your thighs burning from the stretch as he forced himself between them, his lips back on yours to muffle your complaining. 

although annoying as all hell, he definitely knew how to work your body. his free hand slid behind your back to unclasp your bra, tugging it off and tossing it to the side without any issue as his hips continued to roll against yours. 

his hand slid up to cup at one of your breasts, your nipples quickly hardening against his hand and chest. he only groped at the fatty flesh there for a moment before he pinched your nipple between his fingers, your yelp overpowered by his deep laugh, “definitely been a while, princess. you’re sensitive as hell,” he teased, chuckling when you glared up at him, the satisfied smirk on his face queuing you into the fact that he most definitely was not affected by your glowering - if anything, he seemed to be turned on by it, his cock twitching against your thighs. 

“gotta take my time with you then, yea?” he mused, smirk deepening when you huffed but nodded nonetheless. as desperate as you were, you weren’t interested in finding out how fucking him unprepared would feel. if you were going to be taking him, you’d need all the prep he could give you. if nothing else, the two of you could at least agree on that.

paul exhaled a pleased sigh before he was rolling your nipple between his fingers, the pleasure immediate as he applied pressure to the hardened peak. his head dipped down, then, immediately taking your other nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue around the sensitive nub.

your head dropped back against the mattress with a loud moan, eyes nearly rolling back with how quickly the pleasure began coursing through you again. you’d never experienced anything like this with any previous partners, and, although you wanted to attribute it all to the intensity of the moonbond, you couldn’t help but also wonder if paul really was just that good.

of course, you could never let him know that; his head was already way too big, but the thought still lingered in your mind as he continued suckling and rolling at your nipples, his tongue and fingers working in tandem to create a harmony that had you nearly seeing stars. 

“go ahead then, princess,” although his voice was soft, barely audibly between the way he had your nipple in his mouth and the pounding of the rain as it poured down against his bedroom windows, the humming in your mind tuned out everything but the pleasure in your body and him.

you knew you’d been hanging on by a very thin thread since you first kissed him in the doorway, but were still shocked when your orgasm hit you, slamming into you like a freight train as you came with a loud moan.

paul worked you through it, softening his movements as he continued his ministrations, the once rougher nips against your nipple now softened to gentle suckling, his fingers releasing most of the pressure so he wasn’t completely overstimulating you. 

your breaths came in shallow and shaky as you struggled to regain your senses, the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your system momentarily soothing the ridiculous humming in the back of your mind. 

“nice and easy, princess,” paul murmured, pressing one more kiss to your breast before he was sitting up, chuckling when he saw your blissed out expression, “focus on your breathing. i’m not even close to being done with you yet,” he mused as his warm hands ran down your bare chest, unzipping your jeans so he could shimmy them down your legs. 

he didn’t need your help, not that you were in any kind of place to give it to him anyway, quickly tossing your jeans to the side while he gave himself a minute to take in your nearly naked figure.

although his tone was soothing when he spoke to you, you found yourself struggling to wrap your head around how on earth you were going to get through more than one round with him if you were already feeling this exhausted and overwhelmed from just one orgasm with him.

in your post-orgasmic haze, you couldn’t help but not care as he drank in the sight of your figure. with previous partners, you couldn’t help but feel like you were being scrutinized, but whether it was paul’s energy or the aftershocks of your orgasm, you didn’t care. 

he hooked his fingers around the thin fabric of your thong, tugging that off and to the side too, so that you were completely bare underneath him. he didn’t give you any time to decide if you wanted to feel self-conscious about your pussy being entirely exposed to him, hooking his hands around your thighs as he laid himself between them. he’d clearly already made up his mind about what he wanted to do with you, his tongue licking a broad stripe up your slit. 

another loud moan was pulled from your lungs, the sensation both foreign and divine as he immediately latched his lips around your clit, suckling on the bundle of nerves there just as he’d done with your nipple a few minutes prior. although he was a bit rougher with your breasts, he seemed to be taking some mercy on your pussy, your immediately jolting when he lapped his tongue against the nub, letting him know you were definitely as sensitive as he’d anticipated you being. 

while he worked you over with his mouth, he released one of your thighs in favor of circling your tight entrance with his finger, “paul-” you whined, fingers reaching down to immediately knot into his inky hair, your breathing that you’d just evened out now shallow and unsteady again as that inferno began spreading with the same intensity as before. 

“relax, princess,” paul murmured against your clit, slowly sinking his pointer finger into your weeping cunt when he was confident he’d lubed it up with the honey that was quite literally drooling out of you, “taste so fuckin’ good.”

you weren’t even sure you’d heard him correctly with the way he was buried between your thighs, your heart skipping a beat as his finger sank into you. although you’d touched yourself here and there, you still felt that familiar ache deep in you as he stretched you out to make some room for the inevitable intrusion that was his cock.

your first orgasm had helped prep you for him considerably, allowing him to slowly curl his finger against your walls without too many whines from you before he was sinking his middle finger in as well. 

when he heard you beginning to fuss about the burning stretch of the second finger, he unhooked his other hand from around your thigh, sliding it over your hips so his forearm could rest along your belly and anchor you down for him to get easier access to your squirming figure. 

he didn’t let up with his mouth, turning it up a notch as he suckled at your clit with more pressure to distract you from the burning as he scissored his fingers inside you, your hot, soaking walls slowly working open with his help.

he continued, setting a steady rhythm that had you writhing underneath him in no time at all as the humming in your mind somehow increased in intensity, matching the heat burning beneath your skin as the fire that was paul lahote’s touch consumed you entirely.

“cum for me,” his voice was so soft and quiet, but it was the only thing your mind wanted you to hear, the command from him snapping the coil in your belly as you came on him with a loud cry for the second time that day.

the intensity of your orgasm had your back arching off the bed again, paul’s arm anchoring your hips down so he could continue to work you through it, curling his fingers against all the right spots while his lips gently suckled on the wildly sensitive bud that was your throbbing clit.

“so good,” paul murmured to you as he heard your shaky breathing slowly begin to even out again, pressing a cheeky kiss to your clit that had you yelping in surprise before he sat up with a laugh. 

you couldn’t muster the strength to fight him on it, too focused on regaining control of yourself as you watched him get off the bed, tugging his sweatpants and boxers down in one smooth motion to reveal himself to you. 

despite your daze, you still managed to let out a gasp when you saw just how heavy his cock looked, the girthy appendage drooling pearly white pre-cum from the tip, but unable to hold itself up despite how hard he was - a testament to just how big he was. 

paul smirked when he saw the mix of shock and awe on your face as you stared at his cock, “you’ve got lube, right?” you managed to get out and paul let out a loud laugh, clearly unphased by your concern as he reached over to the bedside table, fishing around for a moment before he pulled out a bottle of lube that had you thanking your lucky stars. 

you were definitely going to have to work to take him.

“you on the pill?” paul asked as he climbed back onto the bed, his cock bobbing as he settled back between your thighs.

you hummed and nodded, and, as much as you wanted him to fill you up right then and there, you still found yourself asking for your own peace of mind, “have you been tested?” 

paul chuckled and nodded as he sat back on his heels, pumping some lube into his hand before wrapping it around his shaft, his fingers barely able to wrap around the base of his cock as he coated himself, “you calling me a whore?” he asked, laughing again when you glared at him.

“i don’t need some weird disease-” you started, but he cut you off, reaching back into the bedside drawer and returning with a crumpled-up piece of paper that he handed to you before he went back to stroking his cock.

“you can see for yourself, princess,” he mused, not seeming particularly bothered as you uncrumpled the paper and read it for yourself. you were actually surprised he’d not only gotten tested but actually kept the results handy for you and whoever else this man was hooking up with.

“you do this for all your hookups?” you teased, though you were a bit curious to know exactly how often this man was sleeping around.

fortunately for you, paul didn’t seem too interested in drawing out your suffering - at least, not for long anyway. 

“just the ones i like,” he drolled before adding, “haven’t slept with anyone since my last breakup almost a year ago.”

you peeked over the paper to gauge his facial expression and, when you two made eye contact as he finally lifted his gaze from his cock to you, you knew he wasn’t lying. 

letting out a satisfied hum, you nodded, handing him back the paper, which he tossed to the side again, and had you rolling your eyes, “you can cum inside me then,” you agreed, “but only if you clean me up afterwards. i’m not going back to my house with your cum dripping down my thighs for all of la push-” he cut you off again with a roll of his eyes, both of you matching eachother’s energy.

“you think seth would let me anywhere near you again if he found out i was leaving you a mess after i fucked you?” he asked as he got settled above you again, the familiar warmth of his body coating yours once again now that he was on top of you.

despite your annoyed expression, a breathy laugh managed to break it at the thought of seth freaking out on paul for not taking care of you. the more you interacted with the three boys, the more you were starting to see how lucky you were to have each of them.

“i’ll go in slow and steady, but you tell me to stop if it’s too much, okay?” he asked, reaching one hand down to pump at his cock again, lining his drooling tip up with your entrance.

taking him was daunting, but your fear was quickly outweighed by the blazing fire boiling beneath your skin again. 

you gave him a small nod, expecting him to immediately start, but instead, he leaned down to press his lips to yours again, his lips curling into a smile when he felt your hands wrap around him, one tangling in his hair while the other gripped at his shoulder for some sense of stability.

confident that you were occupied with his lips, he notched the tip of his cock into your channel, your pillowy walls immediately blossoming around his cock despite the gasp you let out against his lips at the intrusion.

“easy-” he mumbled against you, staying true to his word as he slowly rolled his hips into yours, the stretch of taking him completely consuming every thought, nerve ending, and emotion in your body as he filled you. 

the intensity was overwhelming, though it wasn’t painful, just monopolizing any thought but ones about paul and how deep his cock was pressing into you.

you’d been fucked before, sure, but this was past that. whether paul would admit it to you or not, what you two were doing was more than just fucking. it was strengthening your bond with him, tying you two together in new ways that solidified you as part of him and him, part of you. 

he didn’t stop until he was confident you’d taken him to the root, his balls hanging low and heavy as they brushed against your ass, the tip of his cock spilling more precum out onto your cervix as it kissed the ripe and swollen ending of your channel.

you’d started to accept that you’d never catch your breath when fucking him, but, apparently, you had the same effect on him as well, paul laying more of his weight onto you as he pulled his lips from yours to kiss down your neck as he struggled to keep himself composed.

“you feelin’ it too?” you whispered breathlessly, his hot, shallow breaths against your collarbone letting you know you were right, even if he didn’t answer you right away.

you knew it would be a struggle to get him to admit anything to you, but the man was already buried inside you, so you knew it didn’t get much more physically intimate than that. paul seemed to come to the same conclusion, though, slowly nodding as he pressed another, softer kiss to the crook of your neck.

“it’s a lot,” he murmured, and a small smile crossed your face, your fingers gently scratching at his scalp as you both took the few moments he’d allow you to just soak it in and adjust to the change in each other.

you two seemed to be more in sync with each other, as soon as you’d felt like you’d gotten enough of a grasp on your composure, he seemed to, too, slowly drawing his hips back before rocking back into you.

he set a steady pace to start, both of you experimenting with each other to see what felt best but, when he heard the moans you were beginning to let out as his pace increased, he kept that up.

his hips rocked against yours with a gradually intensifying ferocity, matching the power of the heat setting your body ablaze as it consumed you yet again.

you didn’t even know he was moving until you felt his finger rubbing against your clit again, your eyes nearly rolling back into your skull when he rolled your clit between his fingers as your head hit the comforter again.

“fuck you feel like heaven-” paul groaned into your neck, “squeezin’ me so fuckin’ tight,” his voice caught at the end, biceps bulging as he began pounding into you, both of you quickly losing the battle to not cum so quickly and have this end sooner than you wanted it to.

“paul i’m gonna-” you managed to squeak out, a fever pitch reaching beneath your skin as he continued his ministrations, both of you making sounds you’d only ever heard in pornos before. you hadn’t thought it was possible to cum this quickly or feel this good from getting fucked, but everything you knew seemed to be going out the window as paul railed you.

“let go princess,” paul’s voice was desperate as he encouraged you, walking you right to the edge, his own orgasm threatening to release too soon as you teetered on the edge of yours. 

unable to fight it off any longer, you came with a loud cry, paul right behind you as the two of you fell over the edge and into the crashing waves of pleasure below you.

you bit down on his shoulder as you came, your mind exploding into a kaleidoscope of colors as pleasure consumed you. if you thought your other orgasms with him were intense, this was putting them all to shame with the way it slammed into you, forcing you to surrender to it until the only thing you knew was paul.

his release flooded your channel, soothing you and keeping you from completely blacking out as the warm sensation soothed you. his hips rolled against yours while the aftershocks of your orgasms washed over you, both of you letting out heavy, ragged breaths as you struggled to comprehend the depth of what you two just felt.

the last you could remember, you were freaking out about everything, but that was way earlier at night. and, judging by the morning light filtering in past the curtains of your bedroom, some time must’ve passed. 

a quiet breeze blew through the room, the curtains billowing with the movement as the ocean air filled your senses again, “hey sweetheart,” sue murmured, the bed dipping as she sat down on the edge, her hand running up your arm, her touch still comforting despite your sweatshirt separating the two of you. 

seth came into your vision next, squating down next to the bed so he could be eye level with you, “you scared me,” his voice was soft as he spoke, his hands gently taking yours between his, both of you taking a deep breath together as you tried to figure out what had happened. 

he had genuine sadness written all over his features, and you imagined you also must’ve looked pretty scared and sad. you couldn’t figure out what to ask first, your mind racing through all the questions you had about what had happened last night. how did so much time pass? where was paul? embry? were they both okay? was seth okay? what about everyone else? what happened after paul got angry with you?

“i’m sorry,” you whispered, deciding that was a good enough start. you did owe him an apology; he always seemed to be stuck mediating on your behalf and picking up the pieces after things blew up with you. 

“it’s not your fault,” he reassured, pressing his lips to your hands when he saw your eyes welling with tears again. you really did hate crying, but it was all your body seemed to want to do these days.

“why don’t you lay with her for a little bit, and i’ll go get you two some breakfast?” sue suggested when she saw you just barely holding back your tears. seth nodded, looking over to his mom for just a moment before she got up, giving your arm one more comforting squeeze before she went to the kitchen to get you two something to eat.

you weren’t too hungry, too worried to eat anything, but you figured you’d deal with that later. seth stood to his full height, releasing your hands so he could tug back the sheets of the comforter the two of you had picked out together. 

you were happy with him. he was the easy pick, a solid and obvious choice. tears began rolling down your cheeks as you thought about your feelings for paul and embry - your heart now tugged in three different directions. 

seth’s hands grounded you as he slipped in beside you, pulling the comforter over both of your figures before he pulled you into his chest, “you’re okay,” he murmured, allowing you to curl into him, fingers tightening around the thin fabric of his t-shirt as you started crying again.

his arms wrapped around you, holding you tight against his chest as sobs wracked through your body, one hand running up and down your back soothingly, “shhhh…” he cooed, pressing his lips to your hair. 

the two of you fell into a silence, the only sounds being the occasional sniffle or hiccup from you as you cried it out, the breeze that spilled into your room helping you focus on that instead of the weight of everything inside you. 

you didn’t want to choose between them. couldn’t choose between them. just the thought of it brought another round of tears streaming down your cheeks. with embry and paul nowhere to be found, you assumed they must’ve been just as upset with you as you were with yourself. you should’ve known better. it was your idea to deepen things with embry - he wasn’t pushing anything. and you should’ve known paul would be upset with it. he never seemed to be that great with controlling his emotions - especially when it came to you. 

the two of you sat in silence for a while, seth letting you work through your thoughts while he remained a constant presence, holding you close as you cried it out. you weren’t sure how long it had been, too lost in your mind to keep track, but eventually he spoke up.

“pretty girl,” seth murmured against your hair, waiting until your sniffles subsided enough for him to figure you were listening to him before he continued, “you think you can eat something? should help you feel better,” he slid one warm hand under your sweatshirt, gently running his hand up and down the bare skin of your spine as he held you close.

you nodded, knowing he was right even if you weren’t exactly in the mood to be eating right now. you tugged the cuffs of your sweatshirt over your knuckles to brush away the tears that wouldn’t stop streaming down your cheeks. 

he pressed his lips to your hair before untangling his hands from around you so he could sit up, climbing out of bed before holding his hand out for yours. you gladly gave it to him, allowing him to help you out of bed, shivering at the loss of his warmth and your blankets.

“c’mere,” seth murmured, pulling you into a tight hug, rocking you from side to side for a few moments to warm you up before releasing you.

“ready now?” he asked, intertwining your fingers together so he could lead you out into the kitchen when you nodded.

…

while you got some much-needed breakfast, sue took the opportunity to check your vitals as the conversation turned to what exactly had happened the night before.

“seth can you give me the thermometer?” sue asked as she sat down in the creaky wooden chair next to yours at the kitchen table, wrapping a blood pressure cuff around your arm so she could check that as well.

sue was a bit preoccupied with taking your blood pressure, so seth held the thermometer in front of you, waiting until you opened your mouth to slide it under your tongue. it only took a few seconds for it to start rapidly beeping once seth got it situated, both him and sue frowning as they looked at the number on the tiny screen.

“still a little low. we’ll have you lay back down with one of the boys once you’re done eating, okay?” sue asked, getting the blood pressure cuff off your arm once she was satisfied with the results of that.

one of the boys? “i thought embry and paul left,” you trailed off, anxiously looking between both sue and seth.

“you didn’t talk to her?” sue glowered as she turned her attention to her son, suddenly back in mom mode as she asked seth.

“she was upset. i didn’t wanna make it worse,” seth attempted to reason, sighing when sue just rolled her eyes as she turned her attention back to you.

“embry is just outside getting some air. we didn’t want him going too far with all the sleepwalking. but paul is at home - figured it would be better if he got some space,” she explained, standing back up just as the kettle started squealing, quicking attending to that while you sucked in a deep breath and looked over to seth who looked rather guilty.

“i thought he was upset after…” you struggled to find the words, unsure if you should be talking about the fact that you were making out with embry in front of seth given how poorly it ended the night before when paul saw it, “everything,” you settled on and seth hummed and nodded, his usual calm, happy demeanor quickly taking back over. 

“he was with you pretty much all night. he only left once to talk with paul before he went home, but he was with you pretty much the rest of the time. he’s not mad,” seth reassured, reaching his hand across the table to rest on top of yours, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

sue was right about your temperature being low, his hand felt like a furnace on your skin - albeit a very much appreciated one, but a furnace nonetheless. 

the back door slid open before you could ask any more questions, and embry’s familiar figure quickly filled the arched frame of the kitchen. he looked defeated to say the least, his shoulders heavy and his eyes worried as you two took each other in.

you had no idea what to say to him. you felt horrible - you were the one who pushed him to take things further, and now he got looped into suffering the consequences of your decision.

“you’re okay?” surprisingly, his voice was the one to break the silence. you were so caught off guard by him speaking to you first that it took you a few moments to figure out how to respond to him.

were you okay? you still had no clue what happened. before your mind could catch up with your mouth, you managed to whisper, “i think so.”

seth gently squeezed your hand again, and your gaze flickered over to him for a moment. he was watching you with a softer expression than embry, though both boys appeared to be equally worried. 

a sigh escaped embry’s lips, drawing your attention back over to him as he came to sit down in the chair next to you. neither of you said anything, the only thing breaking the tension was sue placing a cup of tea in front of you before she grabbed mugs for each of the boys as well. 

you each quietly said your ‘thank yous’ before settling into a thick silence again, none of you really sure what to say. what was there to say? you weren’t sure if any of them were interested in telling you what had happened last night, and you weren’t even sure if you really wanted to know. 

“drink. it’ll help warm you up,” sue encouraged as she came to sit down across the table from you, all four of you now with your own mugs of steaming tea in front of you. 

before returning to la push, you were never a huge tea drinker, but sue and seth’s insistence on it every day seemed to be rubbing off on you, and you couldn’t deny how it always seemed to help - even if only just a little bit. 

you hummed and nodded, gently sliding your hand out from under seth’s, offering him an apologetic glance that had him cracking a smile, instantly relieving you of any guilt you might’ve been feeling about it as you wrapped your hands around the steaming mug. 

sue was right, as soon as you took a sip, the warmth instantly helped your freezing figure, and the soothing fruit and floral notes of the tea had your mind calming a bit too. 

“you should know that he doesn’t usually get angry like that,” embry spoke, pulling your attention from your mug back over to him, “not anymore anyway,” he added after a moment, his tone relatively flat considering what he was saying to you, so you’d assumed he must’ve been authentic with you. 

you honestly weren’t sure why he was going to bat for paul like that. he did freak out on embry, too so how embry managed to get over the crazy emotions surrounding that so quickly was beyond you. sue did say that they talked, but you weren’t sure a conversation between the two of you would solve anything. anytime you interacted with him it always seemed to be ending in an explosion of some sort.

“it seems like he gets angry like that a lot with me,” you murmured, unable to hold embry’s gaze any longer, instead finding comfort in watching the steam billow and swirl from the mug between your hands. you could feel everyone’s gazes on you, and it wasn’t helping your anxiety in the slightest. you hated how intense everything seemed to be these days.

“i think that’s what he’s trying to say,” seth sighed, scootching his chair over to be even closer to you so he could run his hand over your back, “it’s something with the bond. he doesn’t actually have a problem with you - we can see inside his head, remember?” he asked, watching you with gentle eyes as you let out a defeated sigh and nodded, still not meeting anyone’s gaze.

his touch was heavy against your back, grounding you as he ran it up and down your spine, “we think you two need to strengthen it so that you two can get some more control over your emotions again. not that you’re as had as he is or anything,” he explained, huffing a quiet laugh before continuing, “but i can see how it’s also affecting you. embry can feel it too.” 

you frowned, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth when you felt your eyes welling with tears again. you were a certified mess, but that seemed to prove seth’s point - you were never emotional like this, so maybe it was the bond. 

sue took some pity on you, drawing the boys’ attention away from you as she stood up from her spot at the table, “why don’t you two sit on the couch with her so we can try and get her temperature up a little more, and i’ll call jake to see if he has any updates on paul. then we can figure out a game plan from there, okay?” she asked, her question giving you the few seconds you desperately needed to blink the tears away so you could get control of yourself again.

“sounds good,” seth smiled, gently patting your back before he was getting up, grabbing his mug and yours so he could go get you set up in the living room.

sue eyed you, waiting until you gave her a grateful smile and nod before she was satisfied with leaving you alone with the two boys. you were grateful to have her in your life. 

while sue headed out to the porch to call jake, you and embry got up, both of you unsure what to say to each other yet again. 

you figured now was as good a time as any to clear the air, “i’m sorry about last night,” you whispered, “i shouldn’t have pushed you, and i’m sorry that now you’re dragged into this too, and paul is upset with both of us. i should’ve just left it and i swear i’m not normally like this, it just feels like i’m not in control of my emotions anymore or anything and…” you trailed off, “what i’m trying to say is that i’m sorry and i totally get if you need some space,” you concluded, anxiously crossing your arms over your chest as you looked up at him, desperately trying to guage his expression to see how he was taking your rambling.

embry’s expression remained unreadable as ever, but he quickly put you out of your misery when he asked, “you done?” 

you frowned but gave him a small nod.

“first of all, you didn’t push me into anything. you’re like half the size of me - if i didn’t want to do something with you, it would’ve been pretty difficult for you to force me,” he started, “second, seth already told you that paul isn’t actually mad at you or me. it’s the bond so don’t carry that like it’s your fault,” he added, stepping closer to you, his broad, warm hands coming to slide over your hips, “and third,” he murmured, tugging you so the two of you were pressed against each other, “i don’t regret any of it. i’d do it again in a heartbeat if i knew it wouldn’t hurt you.”

your brain short-circuited as you processed his words, blankly staring up at him as you tried to register everything he just said to you. 

you didn’t have a chance to respond before seth was calling from the living room, “you wanna watch the next star wars movie? or should we put on something different?”

embry sighed, smiling a tiny bit when he heard your airy laugh break the tension between you two. you really needed to get some alone time with each of them - it was getting hard to manage the tension building. 

“the next star wars movie is good,” you peeked past embry’s shoulder as you called to seth before turning your attention back to embry who still had a pretty solid grip on your hips, “thank you,” you whispered to him, smiling when he squeezed your hips again before spinning you around so he could usher you into the living room.

…

sue seemed to have called half of la push by the time she came back into the living room to check on you. you three were nearly done with the next star wars movie when she’d checked your temperature again, her and seth much happier now that it was at least somewhat normal - according to them, not nearly as concerningly low as it was that morning.

“paul is just at home right now. jake is gonna head back over there and see about getting him to come back over here. billy and sam think it’s important that you two talk and get things sorted so things can hopefully stabilize a bit. i think it’ll help all of you feel better if you prioritize working things out with him,” sue explained, sitting down on the edge of the coffee table as she got the thermometer put back in her first aid kit. 

you slowly nodded as you took in her words, sinking back into the couch. you did want to fix things with paul. you knew things needed to be fixed with him, but you couldn’t help the overwhelming anxiety that took over you as you thought about how horribly things could go wrong with you two. you wanted to work with him, not against him.

“can i just go over to him?” you asked, looking between the three of them. seth and embry seemed a little reluctant to agree to it, but didn’t voice their concerns right away. sue, on the other hand, seemed to think about it for a moment before slowly nodding.

“i think that could be good. it might help relax his instincts a bit if he’s in his own home,” she trailed off as she thought about it some more.

“if embry and i can come with, then i think that’s okay,” seth negotiated, his hand running over your thigh again under the blanket, whether it was to soothe you or himself, you didn’t mind.

embry seemed to agree, nodding after he took a moment to think through everything, “can you stay outside? i don’t want him feeling like he can’t be left alone with me,” you clarified, looking between the two boys, who both didn’t look pleased with your new proposition. 

before either of them could talk you out of it, sue jumped in, “you know what they look like before they shift?” she asked, continuing when you nodded, remembering how badly paul was shaking the last time you saw him phase, “so if you see that then you get out of there and seth or embry can come help,” she decided and you gave her a grateful smile, both seth and embry reluctantly agreeing to it once they realized you and sue were going to go ahead with the plan whether or not they were on board with it. 

“okay well i need to head over to billy’s, but you call me if you need anything. i made some meatloaf yesterday and we’ve got plenty of leftovers, so i’ll swing some over for all of you tonight, sound good?” she asked, leaning forward to gently squeeze your knee in a show of comfort before she was getting up to head out.

…

it didn’t take long for the three of you to get out of the house, opting to walk to paul’s house instead of driving. seth didn’t say it when he suggested walking, but you figured it was so that you three would have some more time to talk.

the walk was nice, the larger than life evergreens towering above you with the moss covered rocks and dirt splayed out beneath you. if your senses weren’t already put at ease from the visuals, the gentle whooshing as the wind passed through the trees and the petrichor scent from the rain earlier that morning all combined together to soothe your nerves.

your suspicions about seth’s motives for the walk were quickly proven true when he broke the comfortable silence that had settled over the three of you as you headed down the street, “if he’s not all grumpy, do you know if you’re going to do anything with him?” he asked and embry was almost immediately rolling his eyes.

“seth-” he sighed, and you immediately felt your cheeks heating up when you realized what he was asking you.

seth immediately got defensive, “it’s a fair question!” he attempted to argue, resting his hand on your lower back as he bickered with embry.

“you don’t have to answer that,” embry turned his attention to you, and you, very intentionally, avoided his gaze as you chose to focus on the gravelly road in front of you.

“i’m not asking because i don’t want you to do anything with him,” seth added, “i mean i actually think you probably should do something with him if you want,” he desperately rambled, and embry let out a laugh at seth’s expense.

you decided to spare seth from continuing to fail to argue his case, you knew he meant well, he always did, “i doubt he’s going to be in any kind of mood for that but are you okay if i do something with him? it’s okay if you aren’t,” you asked, peeking up at him only to find him thinking rather deeply about it.

“i’ll be okay with it if you let me take you on a date after,” he decided after a moment, the seriousness of his tone leaving you no choice but to giggle as you thought about what he was proposing.

“i’m being serious!” his serious composure was quickly broken as all three of you laughed, “you can do whatever you want with him as long as i get a date with you. i think you’ll feel a lot better once you and him figure things out,” he explained, his hand sliding around your hip to gently pull you into his side for a hug that had you giggling again.

“you’ve got a deal, clearwater,” you teased, laughing when he immediately intertwined your pinky with his free hand’s pinky.

“can’t break it now,” he mused, an easy smile on his face as he listened to your laughter.

you rolled your eyes, still smiling like a love-drunk fool as you shifted your focus to embry, “are you okay if i do anything with him?” you asked, smiling when he also nodded. 

his features weren’t as over-the-top happy as seth’s were; he never was, but he didn’t look upset either, “i think a date is a fair compromise,” he contended, a small smile crossing his face when you giggled again.

“deal,” you held out your pinky for him, which he gladly took, hooking it around his own for another promise.

embry noticeably relaxed when you agreed, “so are you two really going to just sit outside the whole time?” you asked as the three of you slowed your pace as you approached the ranch-style house at the end of the block that had paul’s car parked out front. 

“probably,” seth didn’t bother lying, and you weren’t sure if you were grateful for his honesty or not. 

embry rolled his eyes again, “we’ll probably go run the perimeter. jake and leah are also on patrol now anyway, so if you need anything, there’ll be four of us nearby,” he explained, gracefully unhooking your pinkies so he could instead intertwine all of your fingers and squeeze your hand reassuringly. 

“okay,” you nodded, sucking in a deep breath as you eyed the front door of paul lahote’s house. 

“go get ‘em tiger!” seth cheered, patting your back to not-so-subtly send you forward. 

embry gave your hand one last squeeze before letting go, the two of them watching as you walked up the beaten-down path to paul’s front door, only heading past the treeline to shift once they heard you knock on the door.

you swallowed the lump in your throat, all your previous courage gone with seth and embry, leaving you feeling bare as ever waiting for paul to answer the front door.

for all you knew, he might not even answer. embry and seth could’ve been lying to you when they said he wasn’t mad at you. but then again, why would they send you over if they thought he was going to blow up on you? but also the last time you saw him he was blowing up on you so-

“oh great, the princess of la push. what can i do for you today?” paul’s dramatic groan pulled you out of your thoughts as he opened the door, his huge form easily filling the oversized doorframe. if you thought you were nervous before, seeing him towering over you so easily had you wanting to turn around and just go home. 

he was absolutely shameless, answering the door wearing just a pair of rather low-hanging sweatpants that did absolutely nothing to hide the shape of his cock beneath it. you couldn’t help the way you were shamelessly ogling his body, eye level with his stupidly well-defined chest that looked like jesus carved it himself.

paul wore a rather disgruntled expression on his face, a far cry from the boisterous personality you had seen him with when you two first started dating.

"i guess you're right," quil grumbled, and, for a moment you'd thought he was agreeing with embry but he quickly proved you wrong, "he was a total psycho before he met her. lucky thing she sticks around," he mused, looking over to your imprinter again, eyes desperately searching for any sort of reaction out of him.

defeat quickly clouded his features and you just let out another breathy laugh. although you weren't entirely sure why quil had decided to spend the afternoon attempting to rile paul up, you were pleased to see paul had reacted just as you'd hoped he would, "you're so good," you mused, stepping over to your imprinter whose expression immediately softened when he took you in.

"oh my god he's her good boy," quil groaned, both him and embry laughing at his comment. you just rolled your eyes, squealing when paul slid his hands over your waist, easily manhandling you over his shoulder.

“he said it tracks with the legends,” jake’s voice broke through the fighting sounds coming from the tv, drawing the attention of all four of you as you woke yourself up entirely. embry paused the tv while you sat up, blearily knuckling at your eyes as jake came to sit down in the armchair next to embry.

“it took you an hour and a half to figure that out?” paul asked, voice raspy as he also woke himself up, apparently also getting pretty close to falling asleep while jake was on the phone. 

embry huffed a laugh and you couldn’t help the way your lips curled into a small smile, “i was getting to the rest of it,” jake rolled his eyes before continuing, “he said we’ll probably need to consult with the cullens. see what they know and also figure out a better patrol schedule to make sure she’s safe.” 

you looked up at seth, unsure about who the cullens were and uneasy with this whole new patrol schedule revelation. you pulled your bottom lip between your nervously, scanning seth who let out a heavy sigh, his brown eyes softening as he looked down at you, “the cullens are a family of vampires that used to live nearby. they live up in alaska now but they might know some more about why a vampire might want you,” seth explained, giving your hip a gentle squeeze when a shaky exhale escaped your lips.

you nodded, looking over to embry, who looked stressed, leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his brows pinched together in concern as he watched you try to digest everything. you two held eye contact for a moment, unsure what to say to each other, but it comforted you nonetheless. 

“so i think we need to call a meeting. you okay with having some people over so we can go over a game plan?” jake asked, turning his attention to you, and you quickly nodded, tearing your eye contact from embry as you looked to jake.

“alright let’s do it,” jake gave you an easy smile, his confidence about the whole thing somewhat helping ease your anxiety, though it didn’t quite dissipate it; your unease still simmering beneath the surface. he got up, heading out the back door, all four of you watching as he went back into the yard, disappearing into the darkness as soon as he stepped off the porch.

“a text would also work,” embry murmured to himself, and seth let out a breathy laugh at his comment. you weren’t sure what he meant until a howl tore through the night sky, only lasting for a few moments before it ended, and jake returned inside a few moments later.

how he managed to shift into a wolf and back that quickly was beyond you but you didn’t question it as jake smiled at you, returning your own with a small, uneasy smile that had him laughing softly, “they’ll be here soon,” he mused, taking a few long strides to come sit back down in the armchair he was just in a few moments ago.

embry leaned back in his chair, exhaling heavily as he grabbed the remote and got star wars back on, giving you guys something else to focus on for the time being while you waited for the rest of the pack to arrive.

it didn’t take long, your living room quickly filling up with almost all the members of the pack, the most recent arrivals being sam and emily, who notably didn’t have olly with them, apparently having dropped him off with sue so they could have a few hours to work through everything with you all.

you’d been alerted to their presence as a chorus of cheers erupted, sam carrying no less than 5 boxes of pizza and two tupperware containers filled with what you only hoped to be something homemade. 

“oh this is awesome!” quil exclaimed, nearly getting trampled by who you’d recently learned were brady and collin, all three of them clamoring over each other as they raced to the kitchen to be the first to get a bite of everything.

while sam headed to the kitchen, emily hung her bag on the coat hook before heading right over to you, “oh this is so beautiful,” she gushed, bending over to pull you into a tight hug. it caught you off guard for just a moment, but your brain quickly got over itself as her honeyed perfume flooded your senses, comforting you as you wrapped your arms around her to hug her back. 

despite being seated on the couch, emily made the hug feel normal and welcome, giving you one more squeeze before she was straightening back up to take in everything, “you look like you need to eat. i made some muffins that i want you to try,” she didn’t give you a chance to argue, taking your hand into hers before she was tugging you up and into the kitchen, the rest of the pack following so everyone could get some food. 

“come sit,” despite never having seen the inside of your grandmother’s house, she quickly made herself at home, pushing through all the members of the pack to sit you down at the kitchen table. 

everyone was laughing and bustling around each other, the boys playfully fighting each other over who got which slice of pizza, “here you go,” she mused, dramatically huffing as she got out of the moshpot of boys in your kitchen, setting down a chocolate muffin the size of your head in front of you.

as more of the boys squeezed out of the kitchen and back into the living room, seth stepped over, ever the patient one as he waited his turn to get some food, “you staying in here?” he asked, stepping behind you so he could slide his hands over your shoulders, immediately kneading the tense muscles there.

you let out a heavy sigh of relief, leaning back into the wooden chair, “apparently,” you murmured, peeking up at emily and then him, all three of you laughing as you realized emily was definitely going to be kidnapping you for a little while.

“you let me know if you need me then, yea? i’ll be right in the living room,” he reassured, smiling when you let out a breathy laugh, feeling much lighter with the presence of the pack scattered throughout your home.

you felt his lips against your hair then, the action leaving you a blushing mess, and had emily smiling and side eyeing the two of you. 

if seth knew how flustered he was making you, he didn’t say anything, just giving your shoulders one more squeeze before he was grabbing some food and heading back into the living room, leaving you blushing like an idiot in front of emily.

“so it looks like things are going well,” she teased, laughing when your blush deepened and you gave her a shy nod, suddenly much more interested in picking small pieces off of the muffin to eat.

before she could prod any further, the back door slipped open and leah clearwater stepped in, the boys erupting into another round of cheers when they saw her. she looked just as beautiful as the last time you saw her and, even though she was ignoring the boys’ antics and headed straight for the kitchen, you could see the smile on her face - almost identical to sue and seth’s.

seth had briefly explained to you that emily was their cousin, and you could see the resemblance, though, if you didn’t know any better, you would’ve assumed seth and emily were the siblings given their softness and warmth. leah was sharper around the edges, but when she smiled, you could see how strong sue’s genes were. why she always looked so guarded was beyond you - you had bigger problems to worry about than why leah clearwater sometimes looked like she was going to slit everyone’s throats. 

“lee,” emily smiled when she saw her, standing up to pull her into a tight hug that leah returned, the two of them holding each other for a moment before leah turned her attention to you. 

although the two of you had briefly seen each other at the bonfire, you had yet to be formally introduced and to say that meeting her was intimidating was the understatement of the year, “so i heard you’re the reason seth has been even more insufferable than normal these days,” she drolled, smiling at you and you honestly couldn’t tell if she was fucking with you or not.

she looked like she was being nice; her words sounded kinda nice, but you couldn’t help the nagging anxiety that made you think she was going to whoop your ass.

“that’s probably me,” you replied, voice quiet as you looked up at her, and, before you could burst into apology for blowing up everyone’s lives, her and emily both burst into laughter.

“y/n,” emily laughed, “she’s fucking with you,” she cooed, reaching across the table to rest her hand on top of yours.

you let out a loud sigh of relief, a smile immediately crossing your face, “oh my god, i thought you hated me,” you laughed, emily and leah joining in as she grabbed a few pieces of pizza before coming to sit down at the table with you two.

“don’t hate you,” she reassured, “you should hear how much he thinks about you. he’s obsessed,” she teased, her dark brown eyes glittering as she smiled.

“you should hear how much he talks about you. she’s not kidding when she said he’s insufferable,” emily added, both her and leah laughing again when your blush only deepened, a knowing smile on both of their faces as they saw how flustered you were talking about the boys. 

your little moment only lasted for a few moments before jake stuck his head in the kitchen, his smile softening when he saw leah, “hey,” he murmured, sliding his hand over her shoulder to rest along the back of her neck, “missed you,” he smiled, his gaze as he looked at leah eerily similar to how you’d seen sam look at emily.

“you just saw me earlier today,” leah rolled her eyes again, the corners of her eyes creasing with her smile, the same way sue’s did. 

jake hummed, “been way too long,” he drolled, leaning down to press his lips to hers. the kiss was gentle but quick, and despite its brevity, had you feeling like you were intruding on something.

“oh you guys are gross!” collin called from the living room, his and quil’s ridiculously loud laughter coming from the living room as everyone apparently watched the moment between the jake and leah transpire.

jake, clearly not put off by their teasing, slid his other hand down to leah’s hip as she stood up from the chair, his grip on the back of her neck tightening just enough to pull her deeper into the kiss as he crowded her against the doorway of the kitchen.

“jealous, littlesea?” jake asked as he pulled his lips from leah’s, glancing over to collin who’s jaw was dropped, all of the boys bursting into laughter again.

“oh jesus-” seth groaned as he came back into the kitchen, gracefully ducking out of the way to get over to you, “c’mon we need you,” he grabbed your hand, gently tugging you out of your seat, “and you too, em,” seth mused, flashing her a smile before he was ushering you out of the kitchen, his hands on your hips as he helped you dodge jake’s ridiculously large figure crowding most of the frame as he figured out if he was going to keep making out with leah or not.

emily was right behind you two, following as seth tugged you back down onto the couch. it was a tight fit, you, emily, seth, and paul all squished together. you didn’t mind much, happy you’d managed to grab your muffin as you went back to snacking on it while everyone munched on their pizza.

“done so soon?” paul teased jake and leah as they came back into the living room together, laughing when jake smacked the back of his head before settling into one of the armchairs, pulling leah into his lap. 

the living room couldn’t have been more crowded, embry sat in the other armchair while the rest of the boys scattered around the floor, minus sam, who was currently looming over all of you as he stood behind emily, his hands rested on her shoulders as she sat next to you. quil was sat at embry’s feet, his head resting against embry’s knee, while collin and brady laid down closer to the fireplace. paul had gotten it turned on while you all waited for everyone to arrive and it was now burning bright as ever. 

you loved having the fireplace on, your feet and hands always seeming to get extra chilly at night, but you weren’t sure how exactly the rest of the wolves were tolerating it. none of them complained, though as they all got settled, the conversations dying down as sam started talking.

“alright we’ve done this before. as of right now, there haven’t been any threats in the area, but we don’t know how long the peace will last. but, like billy said, we have to use caution here, so we’ll be increasing the patrol shifts until we can figure out what’s happening here,” he explained, everyone listening closely as he started to dive into the details of what exactly a new patrol schedule looked like.

you couldn’t help but feel guilty knowing all of them would be taking time away from their lives to help protect you. obviously you didn’t want to need their help, but all of them seemed to get on board with it immediately. they all hardly knew you and were already willing to put so much at risk to make sure you were safe - something that was quickly proving to be difficult to wrap your head around.

quil grabbed a piece of paper, moving to sit at the coffee table while he scribbled down a schedule, all the wolves beginning their chattering again as they started to figure out who would be able to be on patrol when.

you’d made quite the rookie move of assuming this would be a relatively quick process, but were quickly proven wrong as an hour passed and virtually no progress had been made. 

“all good?” seth asked, gently squeezing your hand when you got up from the couch.

you hummed, “jus’ wanna go to the bathroom,” you tightened your grip on his hand for a moment before releasing it so he could help you step over his legs and get out of the living room.

the quiet as you used the bathroom was nice, the pack’s laughter and talking diluted to a much more manageable level while you did your business. you didn’t take long but, when you exited the bathroom, decided to head into your bedroom to grab a sweatshirt. your tank top and pajama pants, although very comfortable, not doing much to help with the goosebumps littered across your arms that had appeared as soon as you moved away from seth.

as you pulled on the sweatshirt, a comforting presence washed over you, and you felt him before you’d seen him - embry was there.

“you always like sneaking up on people?” you asked, peeking over your shoulder to see him standing in the doorway of your bedroom, his figure illuminated by the warm light flowing in from the rest of the house, a stark contrast to the dark blue of the night that your bedroom was washed in. 

his lips curled into a faint smile, “didn’t mean to startle you,” he murmured, leaning against the doorway as you sat down on your bed, “jus’ wanted to see if you were alright,” he added, watching as you pulled your hair out of your sweatshirt and over your shoulder, starting to work your fingers through it so you could hopefully braid it and keep it out of your face.

“didn’t startle me,” you reassured, “and i’m totally fine. jus’ was a little cold,” you added, smiling softly at him. the smile only lasted a moment, quickly falling when you let out a huff as your fingers caught in a knot.

embry watched you for a moment before responding, “what are you trying to do with it?” he asked and it took you a moment to process what he was talking about before you saw the way he was watching your fingers, now totally tangled in your hair.

“was gonna braid it, but i think that might be a lost cause,” you murmured, letting out an airy laugh at yourself as you untangled your fingers from your hair, getting back up as you resigned yourself to the fact that your hair wasn’t going to be looking much better tonight.

he pushed himself off the doorframe, stepping over to you, “can i?” he asked, voice quiet. 

although he didn’t talk to you too much, you were still shocked he’d asked you. so much so that your brain short-circuited for a moment as you processed what he was saying to you. 

fortunately, embry seemed to be getting slightly better at reading you and didn’t immediately retract his offer, giving you a few moments to process his question, though he did still seem a bit unsure if he was overstepping or not.

once you got it together, you quickly nodded, “you know how to braid?” you asked, sitting back down on the edge of your bed, the mattress you’d picked with seth molding around you.

embry nodded, “my mom taught me,” he sat down next to you, the bed dipping with his added weight so you were pulled closer to him, “we all used to have longer hair so it came in handy when we did. not much use now though,” he explained, running his hands over your shoulders to gently turn you to the left a bit, giving him better access to your hair.

you hummed, “i wanna see pictures,” you mused, giggling when embry let out a breathy laugh, his fingers threading through your hair, much gentler than yours were as he slowly worked through the tangles that had accumulated from your earlier nap out on the couch with paul.

you let out a sigh of relief at the gentle pressure against your scalp as embry finished detangling, “i’m sure quil has some somewhere. he’s got scrapbooks all over the place,” he chuckled, the calloused pads of his fingers brushing against your scalp as he parted your hair into three sections.

“he told me you’re not very photogenic,” you teased, both of you letting out quiet laughs at that.

“i’m really hoping he meant camera shy. he’s not the best with word choices,” he mused, fingers working with a shocking level of efficiency and precision as he braided your hair down your scalp, tight enough so it wouldn’t be falling out super easily but loose enough that it wouldn’t be giving you another headache.

“i think he means well,” you started before adding, “most of the time anyway.”

embry’s breath was warm as it fanned against the back of your neck, another soft laugh leaving his lips as he got your hair braided down your back. you held up a ponytail, which embry gladly took from you, tying your hair at the bottom.

when his hands left your hair, you ran your hands over your hair, feeling how nice the braid was done before you turned to peek over your shoulder at embry, “thank you,” you whispered, turning so you could face your body toward his, smiling up at him when you saw how flustered he looked at your gratitude.

he took a beat to respond to you, just as you’d done earlier, “anytime,” he murmured, standing back up with a sigh, “you ready to head back into the living room?” he asked, holding his hand out to you.

you took his hand in yours, but didn’t stand up. neither of you were keen on heading back out there, and you fully planned on making a good case to him on why he should stay in your bedroom with you. as soon as you made your decision, the humming in the back of your mind scaled up a notch, just enough to make you aware of its presence.

you’d gotten familiar enough with it to know it was either going to end really well or really bad - something you were absolutely willing to gamble with as you responded, “not even close,” you tightened your grip on his hand, tugging him down to your level. 

another level up, your mind was buzzing with the electricity, your senses sharpened as you watched his pupils dilate and his breath shorten.

embry sucked in a shaky breath as he sat back down on the bed next to you, “you sure?” 

you were going to explode if you didn’t do something about it, a storm raging inside you as you tried (and failed) to fight your instincts. the question had hardly left his mouth before your lips were on his, embry’s hands sliding over your hips as he pulled you into his lap.

touching him in real life didn’t compare to your dreams. even though it was otherworldly then, it was euphoric now. his lips moved against yours in a rhythm you could only assume you two had figured out in your past lives, your bodies moving with a mind of their own as you touched each other. 

your hands slid up his chest, wrapping around his neck to thread through his hair, holding him close to you as you rolled your hips against his, a breathy whine catching in your lips that he easily swallowed when you felt how hard he was, straining against his sweatpants. 

“easy-” embry’s hands betrayed him as his grip tightened on your hips, guiding your movements.

“em-” you whimpered his name, the sound muffled against his lips, but he heard it. your belly was tightening, the warmth deep inside you pooling until it had you teetering right on the edge, your hips grinding against his instinctually, desperately.

“y/n!” seth’s voice tore through your tunnel vision, both you and embry letting out gasps as you were pulled from your moment. you didn’t even realize how deep of a trance you two were in until you were abruptly pulled from it, your world spinning as you tried to recenter yourself.

the humming in the back of your mind was raging, beyond uncomfortable. the ache in your hips returned as well, embry’s hands only able to do so much for you as everything increased in intensity.

embry’s hands remained firm on your hips, holding you in place as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, “oh you’ve gotta be kidding me,” paul’s voice tore through the air, and somehow the humming got worse, louder, drumming against your skull.

“seriously? her and i are finally starting to make some progress, and now you decide to take her? really em?” you weakly pushed against embry’s chest, attempting to sit up, but you could hardly see anything with how dizzy you were from the humming. 

“paul get outside - now!” you could barely make out jacob’s voice, the sound of it much weaker compared to paul and seth’s. 

there was a commotion, some more yelling, and then a loud growl tore through the air, joined with a sudden splintering sound from outside. 

“hey, hey, i’m right here-” seth’s voice was soothing, instantly calming you as he ran his hand down your back. you didn’t even realize you were crying out for him until he touched you.

as soon as he touched you, the humming vanished, the pain in your hips ceasing to exist, and the growling outside silenced.

only a shattering emptiness remained, a loud sob leaving your lips as you collapsed completely against embry.

“shhhh… you’re okay, you’re okay,” seth murmured, voice laced with concern as he ran his hand up and down your back, embry’s arms now locked tightly around your waist as you two held each other while you sobbed into his shoulder.

you were blubbering out a near-incoherent apology that seth was gratefully able to pick up on as he continued to soothe you.

you should’ve known paul would be angry - he always seemed to be when it came to you. you were angry with yourself for not knowing better, angry with paul for being so easily irritable, angry with all of you for even trying to make this work. you felt angry with your grandmother for dying and leaving you with this mess, angry with your mom for leaving you to do this alone, angry with the universe for putting you in this situation. but most of all, beneath all the anger, you were consumed with grief.

in the absence of everything, the weight of all that you’d been avoiding feeling finally came crashing down on you. 

you hadn’t ever given yourself a moment to just process what you wanted. you’d spent so long trying to figure out what each of the boys wanted you to be, so worried about how your actions would impact other people, that you were drowning in it. the only times you’d tried to put your needs first, something bad always seemed to follow it. even in your dreams, you couldn’t escape the doomed fate that seemed to be chasing you. 

paul had just drifted off as revenge of the sith finished and seth got up from his place squished inbetween you and paul on the couch to check paul’s nose. according to all of the boys, paul’s nose was taking longer than usual to heal but, in your eyes, it seemed perfectly fine, he’d just broken his nose a few hours prior and it was almost entirely healed just a few hours later so you considered it a win.

“can i check your feet?” seth asked, only feeling around paul’s nose for another moment, before he turned his attention to you. you nodded, resting your head against embry’s shoulder as you yawned, still struggling to come to terms with the fact that you were going to have to fall asleep again sooner or later. 

seth offered you a small smile before he sat back down next to you, helping you curl your legs so your feet could rest in his lap. his hands slid down your calves warm and strong before he slowly undid the gauze on your left foot.

you went back to watching the movie, not particularly interested in seeing how badly you’d maimed your feet earlier in the night. seth cocked his head to the side when he saw your foot, entirely healed despite how deep the glass had cut it. 

“em look,” seth murmured, both you and embry turning to look down at your foot as seth undid the wrapping on your other foot, also revealing the completely healed skin below.

you gasped, sitting up so you could criss-cross your feet in your lap instead of seth’s, so you could get a better look. seth reluctantly let your feet go as you took your left foot into your hands, feeling around the arch of your foot where sue had given you stitches a few hours prior, “how did you do that?” you asked seth, lifting your head to look at him.

he looked as confused as embry did, “i don’t think i did anything,” he said, looking back over to paul, who was now sound asleep on the couch next to seth, his head dropped back against the couch. he had just checked his nose but seemed to be doing another visual scan before he turned his attention back to you, “his nose did take a lot longer to heal than it should’ve…” he trailed off, looking past you and over to embry, who just let out a heavy sigh, slowly nodding in agreement.

paul let out a low groan as he woke himself up, likely from all of seth’s talking. he rolled his head to the side, cracking the joints there before blindly reaching up to knuckle at his eyes as he reoriented himself. you, seth, and embry all watched him as he woke up, and he frowned, looking between the three of you as he tried to figure out what all the attention was for.

“i think you helped heal her foot,” seth finally said after a moment, sliding his hands back over your left leg to gently tug it back into his lap so he could show paul what he was talking about. paul’s frown deepened as he glanced down at your foot for just a moment before looking back up at you.

“sorry,” you whispered, and embry gently squeezed your shoulder when he felt you curling back into his side. 

paul seemed to take a moment to contemplate whether or not he wanted to chew you out. his gaze was heavy as it usually was, but he tore his eyes from yours when he saw you shrinking into embry in a weak attempt to make yourself smaller, “my nose is fine, right?” he asked as he turned his attention back to seth who hummed and nodded. 

“looks all good to me. jus’ took a little longer than normal to heal but it’s fine now,” seth responded, “and now she won’t be in pain when she walks all the time,” he added, giving your ankle a gentle squeeze, the three of you anxiously waiting to see if paul was going to blow up on you again. notably, the humming and the pain in your hips weren’t back, but you couldn’t tell if it was because seth had his hand on you or because you and paul genuinely weren’t going to crash out on each other again anytime soon.

paul let out a heavy sigh after a moment, slowly nodding, “that’s fine,” he murmured, settling back into the couch, you, seth, and embry also noticeably relaxing as the tension left your shoulders. you really had to do a better job of reading paul. seth and embry seemed to have a decent read on him most of the time but even they didn’t seem entirely confident when it seemed like he was close to being set off. 

before you could get too lost in your thoughts, quil let out a loud groan as he woke himself up, awkwardly hanging off of the armchair, “i’m so hungry,” he whined, slowly sitting up, his joints all cracking with the movement. you honestly had no idea how the hell he fell asleep like that. 

“i’ll make something,” seth mused, “you wanna come with? might help keep you up if you’re still worried,” he added, giving your ankle one more gentle squeeze when you nodded before he was getting up. 

although you were beyond exhausted, the pain of dealing with that was way easier to manage than the thought of reliving that dream again. so, with a sigh, you were getting up and following seth into the kitchen, embry, paul, and quil not far behind.

…

while eating breakfast, embry had gotten a call from sue asking him to come over to her house to go over things with her, billy, and sam. seth claimed he needed to run back to do some laundry and grab some more things to bring over (he really seemed like he was moving in with you sometimes, but you had bigger issues to focus on). so, despite your protests, both of them headed out to sue’s while paul got his stuff together to head out too, none of you interested in finding out how explosive the two of you could become if you were left alone again.

“you okay if i go shift and fill brady in on what happened?” quil asked paul as he grabbed his phone and pulled out the sliding glass door. you had no idea who brady was, but assumed he must’ve just been another member of the pack if quil could shift to talk to him. you really needed to sit seth down and get him to explain everything to you in a bit more detail.

paul nodded, “that’s fine. tell him to make sure he’s close enough in the treeline to hear her in case she needs him,” he said, referencing you despite the fact that you were sitting right next to him at the kitchen table. you did appreciate the thought, though.

quil gave paul a small nod before he flashed you a smile, “see you later, princess!” he teased before sliding the glass door closed behind him. you watched him through the stained glass window in the kitchen, his blurry and distorted figure jogging out through the yard and into the tree line, where you figured he must’ve shifted. 

once he was out of your line of sight, you turned back to paul, sliding your hands over the now-cooling mug of tea seth had poured you before he left. both of you sat in silence for a few moments, neither of you sure what to say to each other given how off and on your relationship had been thus far. at this point, you were pretty sure he hated you but was just tolerating you because of how tied together you two had been. 

“you should try and do something once i leave. so you can keep yourself awake at least until seth or embry gets back,” paul said after a few seconds, standing up from his chair, the old wood squeaking as his weight was lifted off of it, and he grabbed his phone and wallet.

you nodded, “i’ve got some lesson planning for the fall that i should probably do,” you responded, eyes cast down at the mug of tea in your hands, suddenly finding the old mug from the oceanside resort much more interesting than watching paul’s expression.

“you’re moving back to seattle?” paul asked, pausing his movements.

you shook your head, slowly lifting your gaze to meet his. if you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought that his brows were pinched together in concern but you’d seen him angry plenty enough to figure he was getting annoyed, “i don’t know yet,” you murmured, “i was planning on it before all of this,” you sighed, vaguely gesturing your hands in front of you to paul before settling them back on your mug, “happened. but now i don’t know. i’ve got like two months to figure it out anyway,” you trailed off, nervously pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you waited for paul’s response.

“you can’t do that,” paul said, and your frown deepened, that obnoxious humming slowly turning up in the back of your mind.

“you can’t just come here and blow all of our lives up and then just leave because you’ve got something better to do,” paul started, and you let out a heavy sigh, standing up so you could try and get away from him before you two inevitably started screaming at each other. 

“stop following me, that humming noise is back-” you started, attempting to get around him, but he easily crowded you into the corner of the kitchen, “paul i’m serious-” you said, anxiety creeping into the edges of your voice as you pushed your hands against his chest. you’d hoped that you could borrow some of his strength like you did the night before, but you weren’t as lucky this time, or maybe paul was just more determined to keep his strength this time. whatever it was, it didn’t work, and you found yourself cornered.

“you really think i’d let you go that easily?” paul asked, completely ignoring your pleas as he continued on his tirade, his eyes darkening as he took you in.

the humming blocked out all rational thoughts you’d had of trying to get away from him and suddenly you were just as interested in duking this out with him as he was, “it would make your life a whole lot easier. you’d never have to see me again,” you gritted out, only keeping up your tough facade for a moment before a loud squeak escaped your lips when paul’s hands gripped your hips, his entire body pressing against yours as you pressed up against the wall.

“you really don’t get it do you?” paul snapped, his grip on your hips bruisingly tight. you weren’t even sure you could breathe properly with how tight he had his body pressed against yours. you knew he was big but having him so close to you, in such an intense moment, had you realized you’d severely underestimated just how much bigger he was than you. he towered over you in every aspect, blocking out everything else around you, and you realized just how completely you were at his mercy.

“if i thought getting rid of you would solve my problems, i would’ve done it by now,” paul growled, voice low as his eyes darkened, “whether you like it or not - we’re stuck with each other, princess,” he seethed and, even though he’d just insinuated he would’ve killed you by now if he thought it would’ve benefitted him, you found yourself wrapping your hand around his neck and yanking him down to kiss him.

the overhead light in the kitchen flickered before bursting, the room now only drenched in the soft sunlight filtered through the stained glass. paul didn’t miss a beat, molding his lips to yours before sliding his hands down to grope at the fatty flesh of your ass, easily lifting you up so he could slam you against the wall. you let out a loud gasp, and paul pulled his lips from yours to kiss along your jaw and down your neck, taking his time to suck and nip at the sensitive skin along the side of your neck.

“paul-” you whined, tightening your legs around his waist as you dropped your head back against the wall. paul hummed against your skin, rolling his hips into yours, and suddenly you became much more aware of his rapidly hardening cock. you hadn’t registered it before because of how big it was - your brain couldn’t even begin to wrap around the idea of that being his cock, but when he rolled his hips against you again, you both let out loud moans as the tip of his cock easily rubbed against your clit despite the layers of fabric separating you two.

your belly tightened as the pleasure shot straight to your core. your mind went blank as he continued rolling his hips against yours and kissing and sucking at your neck. his movements became faster, both of you panting as your pleasure deep in your belly tightened rapidly. 

“oh fuck paul i-” you had no idea how it happened so quickly but you came with a loud cry, your vision whiting out and your fingers tightening in paul’s hair as he muffled his moans against your collarbone, his hips slowing as both of you came down from your orgasms.

paul kissed up your neck as he allowed you a few more moments to collect yourself, nibbling at your ear for just a moment before murmuring, “finally able to use these powers for some good.”

you let out a heavy sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips as you gently scratched your fingers against paul’s scalp, “we need to fix the light,” you murmured after a moment, exhaling as paul nodded and stepped over a bit to set you down on the counter, both of you painfully aware of how your legs were shaking from the intensity of your orgasm.

he helped you untangle your legs from around his waist and you blushed when you saw just how dark the front of his sweatpants and your pajama pants were stained with his release, “go take a shower, and i’ll get the glass cleaned up,” paul decided after a moment, lifting his gaze to meet yours and you quickly nodded. paul helped you up again, setting you down outside the threshold of the kitchen so you wouldn’t accidentally step on some glass again, one hand sliding down to your hip to steady you, only releasing once he was sure your legs wouldn’t be giving out on you.

“were you being for real when you said you would’ve killed me already if you thought it would make your life easier?” you asked, peeking over your shoulder to look at paul, who just let out a deep laugh, smacking your ass to send you on your way to the bathroom without any kind of a real answer.

…

by the time you and paul had both showered and gotten changed, it was almost noon, and the fatigue finally caught up with you when you found yourself back on the couch with him and sound asleep with your head resting on his shoulder.

when you came to, the house smelled like rosemary and thyme, and paul was still next to you, his voice soft and much lower than usual as he spoke with seth and embry. 

“well we should probably figure out some ground rules then,” seth murmured, and you deduced you must’ve moved in your sleep because you were now lying on the couch and he had your feet in his lap, his fingers tracing mindless shapes against your ankle.

embry hummed in agreement, and you let out a low whine, reaching up to palm at your eyes as you woke yourself up, “hey pretty girl,” seth mused, gently squeezing your ankle when you opened your eyes to look around and orient yourself.

you sat up, a heavy exhale leaving your lips as your back cracked with the movement. embry was sitting back in the armchair while paul sat on your left. 

you glanced between them, pausing on paul for a moment longer as you thought through how to ask him if seth and embry knew about your little escapade with him earlier in the day, “he told us,” embry’s voice broke through the silence and you sucked in a deep breath, cheeks heating up as you looked over to him.

“everything?” you squeaked out, praying paul would’ve spared you from the mortifying ordeal of seth and embry knowing how ridiculously quick he managed to make you cum. 

“they could see it in my head, princess. got to see the whole thing from my perspective,” paul drolled, reaching one hand over to wrap around your neck and massage at the muscles there while your blush somehow managed to deepen to an even darker shade of red.

“you looked good if that’s what you’re worried about,” seth piped up after a moment, and embry rolled his eyes, quickly jumping in.

“i don’t think that’s what she’s worried about seth,” embry chastised, and seth turned to mouth an apology to you that had you burying your face in your hands, praying this was a bad dream and you could just wake up and forget the conversation even happened.

paul let out a laugh, releasing his hand from your neck so he could wrap his arm around your shoulders and tug you into his side, only deepening your embarrassment. while you hid in your hands, seth seemed to do some deep reflection before piping up again, “well we’ve all already done something with you, so em and i can’t really be mad about it if you’re worried about that,” he added, running his hand over your ankle again to try and soothe how flustered you were.

that did make you feel better, but you were still horrified that all three of them had now seen what you looked like when you came, and all three of them also saw how easy it was for paul to make you cum.

when you realized that they were all definitely waiting on you to get over yourself, you slowly lowered your hands from your face and shyly looked over to seth, who just let out a breathy laugh when he saw how self-conscious you looked.

“you wanna change the subject?” seth asked, laughing again when you quickly nodded, looking like a deer caught in headlights as the three boys each watched you in fascination. you were really gonna have to figure out how to get used to this and quick, given how fast everything was moving with each of them.

“i made some minestrone soup if you want some? it’s good,” seth offered, and you couldn’t have been more grateful for how easily he was able to soothe you.

“everything you make is good,” you whispered, and he laughed again, holding his hand out to you, which you gladly took, squirming out of paul’s grip so you could go hide in the kitchen with him.

“no way - you two stay in here. you both are way too intense,” seth playfully scolded embry and paul as he ushered you into the kitchen and you missed the way he stuck his tongue out at the two boys before ducking into the other room with you.

…

your safe haven with seth didn’t last long as embry began to look for the next star wars movie for the four of you to watch while seth got you a bowl of soup to sip on. as soon as you’d gotten back into the living room, seth helped you get a blanket on your lap while you (very intentionally) curled up in the middle of the couch so neither he or paul could touch you while you tried to snack on your soup in peace.

embry, thankfully, was the only one who seemed to have the decency to leave you alone, pulling both seth and paul into a conversation about the patrol schedule for the night so you could eat without feeling like all of them were staring at you.

“is it okay with you if jake comes in for the night instead of staying by the tree line?” seth asked, pulling you out of your thoughts and back into the conversation you’d completely tuned out.

you stared at him for a moment, definitely looking like an idiot for taking so long to respond to such a simple question, but nodded nonetheless.

“okay great,” he flashed you a smile before the three of them went back to their conversation and you half listened in. you quickly found your thoughts drifting back to the night prior and the dream that you’d had about embry.

despite it being almost 24 hours later, you couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t just a dream - it had to have been a memory of some kind. everything about it felt too real, and given whatever the first dream you’d had with embry was, you were even more convinced there was something deeper your subconscious was trying to tell you by having you relive those memories in your sleep.

“can i tell you about the dream i had last night?” you blurted out, all three boys pausing their conversation to turn their attention back to you, “like can i just tell you one time so that i don’t have to talk about it again?” you added, anxiously looking between the three of them.

paul and seth seemed a little caught off guard by your question, both exchanging unsure glances with each other, but embry nodded, “go ahead,” he reassured, sitting forward to rest his forearms on his knees as he watched you, waiting for you to finally reveal what exactly had you so distressed the night before.

so you relived it. making sure to keep in as many details as possible so there wouldn’t be too many questions from the elders when one of the boys inevitably had to explain it to them. hopefully they could make more sense of it than you could.

as you finished, ending with the pale man sinking his teeth into your skin, you felt hot tears streaming down your cheeks, your body already set back into fight or flight just from retelling it. you hardly registered it but seth helped you get the empty bowl sat on the coffee table in front of you before pulling you into his side, gently running his hand up and down your side, “just take some deep breaths pretty girl,” he murmured, pressing his lips to your hair as he soothed you, both paul and embry much more shaken by the whole ordeal than seth appeared to be, frozen in their spots as they processed what you said to them. 

“promise it’s just a bad dream,” seth cooed, “and we’re all workin’ on building the bond so hopefully that’ll help you stop having them,” he reassured, pressing his lips to your hair as he ran his hand up and down your side.

you sniffled, lifting your head from seth’s shoulder to wipe at your eyes. you hated how emotional you always seemed to be lately, but to be fair, there was a lot of shit going on.

“are those pale people real?” you asked, looking over to embry whose gaze was heavy on you as he still seemed to be processing everything you’d said to him.

he nodded, “it sounds like it was a vampire,” he explained, not offering much more of an explanation as he sat up, running his fingers through his hair. he looked to seth and paul, the three of them seeming to have a silent conversation with each other. they knew each other in a way you didn’t yet, and you couldn’t help but feel envious of it; you wanted to know what they were figuring out.

paul let out a heavy sigh, drawing your attention to him as a frown coated his features, clearly not happy with whatever the three of them had just realized, “what is it?” you sniffled again, reaching up to use the cuffs of your sweatshirt to knuckle away the next round of tears that had begun streaking down your cheeks.

“billy said there was a legend about them wanting people in your bloodline to turn. we didn’t think anything of it, but if you’re having memories like that, then it’s probably a bigger issue than we thought it was,” he helped clear up, and, unfortunately, it only made things more confusing for you. 

vampires were real?

what the hell was he talking about ‘turning people in your bloodline’?

were they really just dreams or were they always memories?

"feels good like this?" he asked, not stopping the way he was rolling his hips against yours, one hand on the back of your thigh to keep your leg above your head.

you nodded, moving to respond to him but all that came out was a breathy whine that had seth laughing, "'s my good girl," seth praised, "you think you can cum one more time for me?" he asked, already knowing you were well on your way despite having already having cum on him 3 other times that night.

"mhm-" was all you could muster before you were dropping your head back to let out another lewd moan that had seth struggling to keep his own composure.

with the newfound access to your collarbone, seth peppered your jawline with kisses, making his way down to the crook of your neck in the same slow, sensual way he was currently thrusting in and out of your heat.

you ran your hands down his chest, "can i touch myself?" you whispered, whining when seth pushed his hips into yours a little rougher than he had been.

"'s my job," he teased, lifting his head from your neck so he could look down at you, hooking your leg over his shoulder to free his hand so he'd have better access to you, "now cum for me, yea?" he asked, voice breathless and raspy in the way you'd become very familiar with since you'd started fucking him.

you'd only had a second to nod before he was rolling your clit between his fingers, another loud moan falling past your lips as you worked through all the sensations currently coursing through you.

before you could even begin to process how good everything felt, seth felt the need to add yet another sensation to the mix when he took your nipple into his mouth, sucking on and swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud.

"seth please-" you gasped, whining as you suddenly became much more aware of just how badly you needed to cum, the knot in your belly tightening until it was nearly unbearable to hold back.

"you've got it pretty girl," seth encouraged before he was diving back in, the combination of his tongue, cock, and fingers on your body snapping the knot in your belly as you came undone on him.

you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him close to you, burying your face in the crook of his neck while you rode out your orgasm, seth continuing the sensual fluidity of his movements until he couldn't hold back his own orgasm anymore, thrusts stuttering for just a moment before he came undone inside you.

your breath was hot and heavy against his neck, both of you silent as you struggled to come back from the sensory overload that was your imprinter. seth pressed his lips to the crook of your neck, slowly peppering the sensitive skin with gentle kisses, "i love you," he murmured, lifting his head when you finally loosened your grip on him enough for him to comfortably hover over you again.

you hadn’t even had a moment to process before you registered the hot tears streaming down your cheeks, “what- why-” you blubbered out, anxiously pushing at seth’s chest in an attempt to get out of his arms so you could at least try and get some sort of space from everything.

fortunately for you, seth had already deduced that you weren’t exactly in any kind of condition to be on your feet thanks to how lightheaded you’d been getting everytime this happened so he slowly crouched on the ground, helping get you seated in the grass. 

your eyes darted around the yard, desperately trying and failing to figure out what was going on but all you could see was the chaos that had broken out all around you and none of that was doing anything to help your panicked state. 

“hey sweetheart, you’re okay,” sue’s voice remained calm as she came over to you, kneeling down next to you as you fought to stay conscious despite the egregious humming in the back of your mind and spinning vision that had taken over your senses, “embry come over here!” she called, a soft sigh leaving her lips when you all but collapsed into seth’s side, surrendering yourself to the chaos.

“pretty girl i need you to keep your eyes on me, okay?” seth encouraged, wrapping one arm around you to support you while the other gently lifted your chin to prompt you to look up at him and he couldn’t have looked more out of focus if you wanted him to.

who was he calling pretty girl?

before you had a second to dwell on it and come to the obvious conclusion that he was talking about you, embry joined your little huddle and sue said something to him that you couldn’t quite make out, doing your best to untangle the blurry mess that was seth’s features. 

embry saying your name out loud snapped you out of your haze, his hand coming to rest on your ankle as you were rapidly pulled back down from the daze you’d been in. all of your senses sharpened as you made eye contact with him and suddenly the only thing you were noticing was the way embry and seth’s hands felt against your skin. 

“there you go,” seth encouraged, voice low as he rubbed soothing circles against your hip with his thumb while you sucked in a few deep breaths, holding embry’s gaze as he matched your breathing. the commotion in the yard died down as you calmed down and you assumed paul must’ve also been just as affected as you were by the whole thing but thankfully seemed to get control of himself again at the same time you did.

this was a mess. 

thankfully, sue had went to bat for you and advocated that you be allowed to go back to your grandmother’s house to get some rest instead of being taken hostage in the black house as billy had, in much less crude terms, suggested. her house was only a short drive from billy’s and the rest of the pack seemed content with letting you head back over there for the night on the condition that you’d have at least one other wolf somewhere on the property to keep an eye on you. 

embry had resigned himself to the fact that he’d be staying at your house for the foreseeable future thanks to everyone’s anxiety about him sleepwalking over to your house again so here you found yourself, laid down on the couch again and sitting in silence with embry. the only sound you could make out was the water running from the shower as seth finished up his shower. 

you and embry had both showered earlier, the three of you moving in relative silence since you’d gotten back to the house as all of you struggled to find what to say about what had transpired earlier in the evening. so for now, after everything had settled down, you and embry had silently agreed that staring at the fireplace was the best option. 

it definitely needed some more wood added to it, the previously roaring flames had dwindled down to a soft crackling every few seconds as the flames shrunk. 

if what billy, sam, and sue said was true, you would need to start building relationships with each of the boys so these outbursts would stop happening every few hours. seth was easy, you and him clicked almost instantaneously, and it was hard to deny the chemistry you two shared. paul was definitely going to be the most difficult, you two clearly had something going on but it was almost dangerous to get too close to him. every time you did it ended in some kind of explosion so you’d have to figure out how to manage that. and embry… you weren’t sure what to make of him. he made you feel safe and you could already see how he was making you feel seen in ways you hadn’t been ever before. there was so much to unpack with him too and you two had barely said more than a few sentences to each other. 

“you want some more tea?” seth’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you pushed yourself up to your forearms so you could peek over the couch at him. he’d changed into a black t-shirt and some star wars pajama pants that had chewbacca and a bunch of those little wookies all over them. 

you’d completely forgot what he asked you as you giggled, “where did you even find those?” you asked and the corners of seth’s eyes immediately crinkled as he smiled at your question. 

“my pants?” he asked, a breathy laugh escaping his lips when you hummed and nodded, “leah got them for me for christmas a few years ago,” he explaine as embry also let out a quiet laugh at the pants, “do you like them?”

“they’re cute,” you smiled, the weight that had been pulling you down earlier suddenly feeling a lot lighter with seth back in the room, “are you gonna come sit?” you asked as you got settled back down on the couch, grabbing the remote as you laid down so you could get the tv on and hopefully find something to put on and keep your minds off of everything.

“course i’m coming,” he reassured, stepping around the couch to sit down at the opposite end of you. while you got the tv on and start flipping through channels, he gently tugged your feet into his lap, a wave of calm washing over you as he did so.

a soft sigh of relief escaped your lips and seth just gently squeezed your ankle in response as embry’s gaze fell onto the two of you, “were you hurting?” embry asked after a moment and it took you a moment to register that he was talking to you because good god did that boy barely talk, but, when you did realize he was speaking to you, you paused as you looked at him.

he looked like he was seriously regretting speaking to you, his anxious figure a stark, almost comical contrast to the way his dark form took up nearly the entire armchair. you managed to collect yourself before he decided he was never going to speak to you again, “no, no,” you reassured, “it just helps with whatever has been going on with my back. nothing super bad,” you explained, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you watched him digest your response. 

he seemed like he wanted to ask you more about it but decided against it when he settled for giving you a small nod. you gave him a small smile before looking over at seth, “which star wars movie are those little guys in?” you asked, glancing back down at the wookies on his pants before looking back up at him. 

the way he lit up at that question had you smiling as well, his energy really was contagious, “oh thank god you asked,” he beamed, “revenge of the sith. it’s on disney,” he added and you giggled, quickly getting to work finding that movie while embry just playfully rolled his eyes and settled into the armchair.

nearly halfway through the movie, you’d found yourself falling deeper and deeper into sleep, only having the will to fight it for a few minutes before you were completely overtaken by it. 

the sounds of the battle scene playing out in the background faded out, slowly fading into the sound of waves crashing against the beach instead. before you knew it, you could feel the wet sand molding to the shape of your bare feet, the cool ocean waves washing over them as you walked down the beach.

where you were going you weren’t sure but your feet continued to move anyway. the beach was one you’d known for lifetimes, although you’d only been down here on the rare occasion that you visited your grandmother, your soul knew this beach more than your current body ever would. 

pausing, you crouched down to let the waves wash over your fingers, gently scooping up a pile of the pebbled sand and massaging it through your hands only to let it wash away as the next wave came in. you repeated the action several move times, watching as the water washed you clean every time.

before your body sensed anything, something deep in your soul urged you to look behind you and, when you did, you found embry standing a few feet away watching you as allowed the sand to be washed from your fingers one last time. 

“embry,” you breathed out his name as you stood back up, slowly stepping over to him.

he sucked in a deep breath as he watched you, looking you up and down with a quiet curiosity before he found your gaze again, “i missed you,” you whispered, suddenly feeling like a third party watching as your body moved and spoke without your permission. although, you weren’t entirely detached from her. you still were her but somewhere deep inside you felt as though you knew her and trusted her to act for you.

“it’s been too long,” he whispered back, taking your hand into his as he pulled you closer until you were chest to chest with him. he was so much bigger this close, easily towering over you, the intensity of his gaze piercing through your very being as he soaked you in. 

it had been too long. your heart knew, your mind knew, your soul knew. you had loved him in many lifetimes. 

one hand gently cupped your cheek, his thumb gently rubbing at your cheek bone as the two of you took eachother in. “kwop kilawtley,” he whispered and you nodded. 

“always,” you murmured, tightening your fingers against his t-shirt as you tugged him down to kiss him. he was all consuming, unleashing a fire in your heart that hadn’t been released in your lifetime but was something you knew you’d be becoming quite familiar with soon. 

you worked in sync, his free hand sliding down to your hip to pull you tightly against him as he deeped the kiss, each of you desperate to be closer to eachother, working in tandem as if you’d done this a million times. 

maybe you had done this before. maybe you’d known him in every lifetime before this one. 

your hands slid up his chest, interlacing your fingers around his neck as you pulled him down closer to you, his figure dwarfing yours as he complied with you. his warmth was everywhere, searing your skin, blazing through your soul, the flames erupting in your heart.

you woke with a startled gasp, the sudden change in temperature and location jarring you as you struggled to orient yourself. your new mattress enveloped you as you collapsed onto your back, sucking in a few deep breaths as you struggled to figure out what just happened. 

where did he go? and how the hell did you end up in your bedroom?

despite the sweat that was drenching your figure, your feet were freezing, the sounds of the mourning doves outside letting you know that seth had definitely opened the door again after he’d woken up and whatever ungodly hour he did again.

“you alright?” quil peeked his head into your bedroom, frowning when he saw how disheveled you looked and, from the way you felt, you’d imagined you must’ve looked pretty rough. 

you weren’t exactly interested in detailing the rendez-vous you’d just had with his best friend in your dream so you settled for faking it, giving him a small nod as you rolled over to your side, “all good, sorry,” you murmured, voice croaky as you reached for the glass of water you’d assumed seth left on the bedside table for you, rapidly taking a few big gulps before adding, “i didn’t wake you up, did i?” 

he shook his head, still not looking totally convinced but he didn’t push it when he responded, “no, no, i was already up. jake took over patrol so i came in when seth started making breakfast,” he explained, “he ran out to the grocery store to pick up a few things but there’s eggs and potatoes in the kitchen if you want some.” 

almost on queue, your stomach growled and quil just let out a breathy laugh, the unease on his face quickly leaving when he heard the grumble, “i’ll go grab you some,” he laughed before heading back into the kitchen while you flopped back onto the bed, taking a few more deep breaths to steady yourself before getting up.

was there an easy way to talk to embry about it? should you even talk to embry about it? honestly it was probably just some really fucked up wet dream but you couldn’t shake the feeling that your soul knew his. you felt it deep in your bones, an unshakable belief that you’d known him longer than you thought.

with a resigned sigh, you got up and padded out to the kitchen. despite how chilly the morning air was, it definitely smelled nice so you had to give seth some credit for that. though, he definitely seemed to be running a way higher body temperature than you did so he probably didn’t realize just how cold it actually was. 

quil smiled when he saw you, handing you a bowl of the eggs and potatoes seth had made for everyone, “were you out there all night again?” you asked, grabbing a spoon out of one of the kitchen drawers, almost immediately zeroing in on the figurine of the giraffe playing the guitar that seth must’ve put out at some point. those things really were hideous. 

taking your spoon and bowl, you headed over to the kitchen table and sat down, “unfortunately,” quil laughed, joining you with his own bowl as well so the two of you could eat together. 

you let out a quiet laugh at his reply. you took a bite, the savory flavors melting on your tongue as you thought about how to ask him if he’d seen anything the night before. swallowing, you asked, “did anything… weird happen while you were out there?” 

quil shook his head, “not that i saw. why? did something happen in here?” he asked, not looking too concerned as he shoveled down his bowl. that definitely wasn’t his first bowl either - those boys had one hell of an appetite. 

“no, no,” you reassured, suddenly much more interested in your own bowl as you scooped around a few pieces, “is embry still sleeping?” you questioned, peeking past quil and into the living room to see if you could see embry’s sleeping form. he wasn’t there.

quil swallowed down a few more bites before responding, “nah he left a little while ago. said something about a weird dream and that he wanted to go for a walk. he has those pretty often though so i bet he’ll be back in a little bit,” he explained and you were suddenly quite grateful for seth’s out of this world cooking abilities as quil seemed way too focused on the food to notice how confused and then resigned you looked at you processed what his words could mean for you.

maybe it was just as real as you thought it was.

“alright i gotta run home but jake is somewhere out back if you need anything. you can just go out and yell if you need him or something, he’s pretty dense but he’ll get the hint,” quil joked, as he got up, making quick work of getting his bowl and spoon into the dishwasher before he was heading over to the screen door.

“i’ll see you later princess!” he called as he headed out back. you got up and stepped over to the screen door so you could watch as he ran past the tree line, his figure fading before you could watch him shift but sure enough, a giant brown wolf emerged from the trees a few seconds later, nodding at you before he headed back into the forest.

shortly after finishing your breakfast, you got changed into something a little more presentable, washed your face and brushed your teeth, and pulled on some rain boots before heading out the back door to go on a little walk of your own. 

maybe if you could just find the spot on the beach it would bring you some much needed clarity around what was real and what wasn’t real.

as you approached the trail near the treeline, the brown wolf silently appeared from the trees again. although you’d seen paul shift quite a few times, you hadn’t had much time to be this close to them while not in some super tense situation so it was fascinating to see one of them up close. 

he had the same height of a horse but he was significantly bulkier than any other animal you’d seen before. if you didn’t know it was jacob black in there you would’ve been running for the hills but instead found yourself watching him, studying him, as you allowed yourself a moment to just process the weight of the supernatural world you found yourself in.

“you guys are really big,” you said after a moment. that much was obvious so you weren’t sure why you said it but holy shit were they big.

jacob huffed, the warm air fanning over you and you assumed that was a laugh so you just gave him a smile, “i’m gonna go to the beach. are you gonna follow me? or do you need to stay by the house?” you asked, and, honestly, you also weren’t sure how you expected him to answer you but when he gestured his head in the direction of the beach you took that to mean he would be following you so you carried on with your little journey.

as you followed the path, jacob disappeared into the towering evergreens, out of your sight but you knew he had to be close by if he was serious about keeping an eye on you. soon enough, the dirt slowly began mixing with the dark sand as you approached, everything damp from the rain shower overnight. 

the ocean waves roared next to you as they crashed against the shore just as they had in your dream the night prior, the seagulls calling out as they circled overheard. you looked down at your feet as you walked, watching as the sand molded around the contour of your boots, leaving behind a trail uniquely your own as you padded down the beach. 

you weren’t sure when you would know that you hit the right spot but you just hoped some part of you, some deeper, more spiritual part of yourself would know so you continued walking, listening to waves as they rolled in, occasionally brushing over your boots and washing away the footprints you’d left behind. 

as you continued, you watched as different shells washed on shore, the seaweed occasionally tangling them alond with a few stray crabs and unlucky fish. you strumbled upon a baby clam, the iridescent shell immediately catching your eye as you crouched down to pick it up. 

you weren’t sure if it was still alive, scooping up the sand underneath it just in case as you took it in for a moment, admiring its beauty. you gently tapped on it, smiling to yourself when it quickly clammed itself back up, it was definitely alive. 

as the next wave came rolling back in, you let the ocean take it back, the sand washing through your fingers as you let it return to where it was from. 

the humming in your mind that had been diluted to only a comfortable background noise suddenly began dialing it up again, and, as you looked around you knew you’d found the spot. 

peeking over your shoulder, sure enough, embry was standing there watching you just as he had in your dream the night prior.