❛   if you want me off this bridge, you’re going to have to  THROW  me off.   ❜

in war there is no welcome for cowardice. its existence is a disease which through soldiers spread ---- an infection that, if not cured, must be amputated entirely so it might bring no more rot to the body. it matters not the importance of one’s role, nor the prevalence of it ---- an infected fingertip might do as much damage as an infection chest if left to spread. fear is unnecessary, dangerous, and thus in the face of his injury prince andrei is determined not to show how it hurts him ---- having been patched closer to the front lines, he’s been moved to a more distant infirmary, where now he lies, bandaged and weak and all too prideful to accept the help forced upon him. unafraid, and still unmarred by cowardice that cannot be afforded.

some days i reconsider fandoms and today is one of those days

THE OPENING OF THE DOOR ALMOST MAKES HIM JUMP if he wouldn’t have his reflexes tied down to a t; anya is at some gathering or some lesson or so and he’s been dismissed for the better part of the day but that doesn’t mean dmitry’s life exists in solitude ( as much as he sometimes wishes it would ). 

an old meme // @sestravtoraya

the pride the prevents his request for help is not shallow. it is rooted deep within his soul ; nested amongst childhood memories, amongst lessons of strength his father had taught, restraining not only his desire to accept assistance, but his ability to do so. the pain he holds is shameful, and the prospect that someone might come close enough to know it, to see beyond the physical agony into what havoc it spurs within him, creates discomfort enough that he withdraws as well as he is able. what option does he have but to deal with this all alone —- what but to welcome in another, to allow her past the barriers guarding his thoughts that, however much pain they impose, have been constructed for a reason.