#session lager

Brewery : Stillwater Artisanal Beer : Yacht Style : Pale Lager / Session Lager / Lager Variance : None

8 / 10

Ok Stillwater, you win. As much as I love Carton, this beer definitely trumps Boat and Sit Down Son in my opinion. Now before you go on and attack me for siding with the “enemy” on this one just know this, just because I am from NJ doesn't mean I have to compromise my taste buds to back my state so back the fuck up or get smacked the fuck up. I was saving this reference for a Boat review but since I like this one better, it get’s the quote. “Fuck land, I’m on a boat motherfucker. Fuck trees, I climb buoys motherfucker. I’m on the deck with my boys motherfucker. The boat engine make noise motherfucker.” While that clearly would have pertained to Carton’s brew better, I don’t really picture the members of Lonely Island traveling on a measly boat, but exclusively on a big ass yacht. This beer has a mild floral hop start to it with a bit of pine before a pilsner like taste joins in with a light bitterness before ending with a crisp and clean malt sweetness that doesn’t overwhelm the hops. After seeing that there could be up to 3 million ships on the ocean floor and hearing about the whole Carnival Cruise Triumph “poop cruise” I really would prefer to stick to this kind of yacht instead of an actual boat because those things scare me and so does the vastly unexplored ocean. If you think I’m a pussy after reading that, you’d be 100% correct because I really don’t like the idea of floating on a giant body of water without knowing what’s underneath me so I’ll stick to the land. This beer is perfect for those of you out there who have won yourself some rap battles and is basically just an all around solid beer. It’s a great snag for the newbies to the style because it’s a lighter way to introduce you to that hop flavor and as for you all with your PHD’s in beer, this is a great beer to pick up so get out there!

kooks

As the devout readers of ILOP are well aware, I have been preoccupied with the idea of the next great hipster beer for some time now, as evidenced here and here. 

To summarize, I first placed my bet on Rolling Rock way back in October 2012, and further hedged my bets on Session Lager in June 2013 following a piece on Time.com ruminating on the very same issue I hold to be so important.  I still feel good about my predictions and was recently encouraged when the soon-to-be-next-hipster-hotspot in Cambridge recently opened. As you'll see if you're so inclined to peruse the menu...right there in the brilliantly conceived "Shot & A Beer" section...is a Rolling Rock served up with one of their specialty shots.  

All the same, the road to next hipster beer champion is long and arduous, littered with the empty cans of impostors, poseurs, has-beens, and never-haves.  Until PBR loses the belt, it's a revolving cooler door of challengers.

Over here at ILOP, we were ecstatic (ecstatic!) to discover that we weren't the only ones considering the fate of the next great hipster beer.  We had been considering the possibilities...or made a prediction rather...a full year ago, documented in this post last fall.  

So when we stumbled upon this piece by our colleagues at Time, we were pleased that our mental exercise was validated by such an esteemed journalistic organization and gave due deference to an issue of such cultural significance.  

It's a well written piece and I have no quibbles with any of its points, and was glad it introduced Narraganset to the discussion.  As a transplant to the Northeast, I certainly think 'Ganset is a worthy candidate, but I suspect its equity is more aligned with regional identity than it is with hipster identity.  It is, certainly, a fine line. 

Even more pleasing to me was the fact that my horse, Rolling Rock, wasn't mentioned at all in the piece, affording it some more time to percolate through the hipster sub-conscious before being falsely crowned as the next heir apparent by such a mainstream publication. Such an effort would kill its chances.

Full Sail Session Lager

Ah, when to the Sessions of sweet silent showers/I summon up rememberance of beers past... While I greatly prefer Session Black, I have been known to drink it interchangeably with the standard model, for the sake of making some bad Les Mis puns.  And musical theatre punnery aside, the premium lager is a perfect companion for the shower.  Its classic pre-Prohibition style maltiness keeps it smooth and drinkable, and while the bottle can be a little difficult to hold due to it's stubbiness, it makes up for that in shelf-stability.  Fun fact: Session bottles make excellent bud vases, in case you're planning a wedding for drunkards.  Or hipsters.  Hey, it can't be all mason jars all the time, am I right?