#seriallit

I’m not sure how much longer I can keep working here. I want to help the kids, but still. I think one of the older boys is torturing the younger students and the doctors won’t listen to me. No matter what the Center says, I’m starting to suspect only the level 1 and 2s get any help. The higher levels might as well be guinea pigs. And now we’ve got some jumped up military brass wandering around the facility. Are they really going to start using the children as weapons? Don’t these people understand we’re supposed to be making the world a better place, not a worse one? I wrote out a letter of resignation, just in case. If I decide I can’t do it, I’ll just submit it and see what happens.

Sometimes I have to wonder why. I don’t mean why am I at the Center, why do I have this gene, blah blah blah. Whatever. I mean more like why do I have this but never show it? I’ve never hurt anyone, never wanted to hurt anyone. Okay, that’s a lie. I’ve wanted to when I got really angry. But doesn’t everyone? Even the people in the nice happy books they let us read get angry and talk about how they want to hurt people, kill people, but they never do. Why am I a level 1? What makes me so special? Its dangerous being a level 1 around here. People don’t get you. Especially not the 5s. They eye you like you’re mince meat. But I guess, to them I am.

These students have killed other human beings and show no remorse or sign that their behavior is wrong. Not to be around civilian populations at all.

We’ve only just finishing cleaning up the rooms of the last three students who were attacked. I submitted another formal complaint about the housing system. One student has already been killed, and she was a level 2 for crying out loud. What about the poor level 1s? They should be housed separately entirely. They don’t even really need the dorm structure. But the doctors say it has to stay this way. I certainly hope the doctors are right. I have 2 students in the infirmary just now. One has a concussion, the poor little boy. Derek is a level 4 from the elementary wing, a third grader. Its terrifying when they’re that young. I hope they never transfer me to the early care building. I don’t think I could handle it over there. I’ve seen dismembered dolls hanging from the fence. And the oldest kids in there are only 4. Sometimes I wonder if the environment is hindering them, causing them to be more violent. But the doctors assure me that this is simply the natural and normal progression and that all I need do is look to our university level students to see how much our program works. 

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