#sepiaru

yeah, the procedure was scary as hell!  i also didn't know if i was going to be getting lasik or PRK, which sounds SO MUCH SCARIER TO ME????  (seriously don't go read about PRK if the specifics of lasik squick you out, because PRK is DDDDD: imo.)

but with lasik, they tape your eyes open (honestly the scariest and most painful part, because your eyeballs themselves are numbed with drops), and then they apply like this vacuum ring thing to your eyes that makes it so you can't see anything for a few seconds (TERRIFYING).

then they just make you stare at a blinking light for like 2 minutes and it's over.  and they tell you what's happening, and there is one person cheerleading for you and another person reminding you to keep still and look at the light.  and then they repeat it for the second eye.  BUT it's horrifying because i LITERALLY COULD NOT TELL if i was looking at the light, because your vision keeps shifting and the light becomes clearer/more hazy and i was like "AM I LOOKING AT IT??? I CAN'T TELL LMAO OH MY GOD."

my eyes were suuuUUUuuper sensitive right after i had it done, and they were just like "okay, go home, take this massive xanax, and go to bed."  but they forgot to call in my prescriptions, so my mom had to run around to a couple pharmacies to get everything, and i was at home like "THIS IS IT, THIS IS HOW I DIE," because the numbing drops had worn off and my eyes were watering like crazy and it itched sooo bad, but you can't rub your eyes for a month after the procedure, so i was just like *SOBS OPENLY INTO SANDWICH, INGESTS TEARS AS AN ADDED CONDIMENT*

but then i went to sleep for 100 hours after i took the xanax and it didn't hurt at all when i woke up!  my eyes look KIND OF scary still, because when they put the vacuum ring on your eyes, it makes some of the blood vessels (capillaries?  is that the right word?) burst, like you've been hit in the face.  but it's clearing up and is much better than it was the first day.

so now it doesn't hurt, i can see mostly clearly without my glasses, and i only have to put in 1 eyedrop twice a day, 2 other eyedrops four times a day, and another one 4 - 6 times a day (i think i get to stop the antibiotic one tomorrow though WHICH IS GR8 because it's the only one that stings, lol).  so really, it doesn't feel like anything other than the fact that my eyes are dry and i can't really cry.  normally i cry at EVERYTHINGGGGG on tv.  as soon as there is emotional music it's like CUE WATERWORKS but now i just...feel like i'm crying?  but i'm not?  i shed like, half a tear yesterday when i watched the agents of shield season 1 finale and i was like "oh, weird."