#semptask

Infidelity: it's when you mutually agree to be exclusive with someone and then have intimate relations without their consent and it's not very nice

Infatuation/having a crush: liking someone?? idk they're usually stupid and don't last very long and generally don't matter

Justice: the outcome of something that can set peace for a crime. i don't really believe in "an eye for an eye" but it's kind of like that i guess.

Truth: truth and fact are not synonymous. fact is something indisputable (the sky is blue, water is wet, etc) but truth is something that is accurate but not necessarily agreed upon by everyone (murder is wrong, sebastian is great)

Obscene: cats licking their genitals

Depression: not "i feel sad today" or "i didn't get what i want" but a feeling of sadness that has no cause other than a chemical imbalance in the brain

Betrayal: going and doing what you said you wouldn't, see infidelity

Being in love: not sure how much i believe in this one? probably just when people get more affectionate to each other than normal. i think people can be infatuated with someone, but eventually romantic love turns into familiar love anyway. i don't know where i'm going with this

Fullfillment: achieving a goal, for me? like, working for something and seeing it happen.

Family: the people you love that you're not dating

A perfect day: not working, everyone is happy, etc

Happiness: when you feel like there are more positives than negatives in your life.

Friendship: being able to talk about anything, i guess? like, not just having a good time together, but also trusting and that stuff.

Good: depends on the person's morals. deemed to be something someone should do.

task # 17 - D E F I N I T I O N S. . .

his friends and family to be safe and happy

a new car (maybe a Ferrari)

to be happy

1D to keep being successful and making music

to be able to accept himself enough to come out as bi

socks probably

a gym membership

someone to love him

lots of drugs

the story of a jewish boy who loves to celebrate christmas

-- i don't want a lot for christmas. 

"Girls don't like it when boys kiss them, Sebastian."

"Boys can only kiss boys. If a girl wants to kiss you, you will let her and kiss her back, but you can't kiss girls because you might take advantage of them. Okay, Sebby?"

"No, honey, you're gay. Abby took the test, remember? And anyway, I don't want you to be a gross straight boy. Unless you think you're finally a girl?"

In the seventh grade, when he was 14, Sebastian had already been properly told by his mom about boys and girls and who he could kiss and who he couldn't. It seemed simple: Boys can kiss only boys, because they can abuse girls. Since girls couldn't abuse boys in his mind, girls could do anything they wanted to boys. But sometimes, he still wondered what it would be like to kiss a girl.

He knew he wanted to, but also that he wasn't allowed to. Still, Sebastian was at the age when he started having feelings (so far just for girls, but he knew he'd grow up and get boy feelings soon) and he wanted to try kissing a girl. There was one girl, named Jessie--and to Sebastian, she was the prettiest girl on the playground, but also one of his really good friends. She knew that he secretly liked girls, and she was okay with it, so the two made great friends.

Until, of course, one Friday afternoon on the playground. Sebastian and Jessie were waiting for their parents to pick them up in the after-school program at their school, since their parents both had full time jobs. Eventually, they fell into a comfortable silence, Jessie staring at someone on the swings across the way in someone's backyard, but Sebastian watching her. Finally, he leaned in closer and closer, until he could feel her soft lips on his.

For just a moment, it was bliss, when he felt her lips curve into a little smile against his and he could feel her press back, until he heard the horrified shriek of his own mother. Sebastian yanked back as though Jessie's face had burned him, staring in shock and fear at his mother, who looked like she was ready to rip him a new asshole.

By the time Liam was in grade 8, he had already been singled out as the weak kid who wouldn't fight back if you messed with him. He was just too nice, and quite frankly wasn't strong enough to win a fight with most of the other kids his age. He could never keep friends for long because of this, as bullies would always pick on his friends until he was alone again. But finally when he was 13, Liam had found someone that stuck around for longer than a few weeks. 

Over the course of several months, he and his new best friend, Clay, grew closer than ever. They spent nearly every day together after school, and were inseparable on weekends. They liked all the same dorky things, and Clay was much more buff than Liam and could stand up for him. 

But, of course, all good things have to end eventually. 

It was the night that marked six whole months of them being friends, and they were having a sleepover at Liam's house. It was nearly midnight, meaning his parents and his sisters were sound asleep in their rooms, and Liam and Clay were awake but lying in Liam's queen sized bed, which they usually shared because it was plenty big enough. They were going on and on about some movie that they had just seen earlier that day, when Liam decided to make his move. 

With a grin on his face and his eyes closed, he quickly leaned to kiss Clay before he could talk himself out of it.. again. See, Liam had had a crush on Clay for nearly as long as they had been friends, but was far too scared to admit it. He couldn't help but let out a delighted giggle as their lips touched, a satisfying sensation that he had been day dreaming about for weeks. It was his first kiss and it couldn't have lasted more than thirty seconds, but to him it felt like 30 hours. He was stuck in a state of pure bliss, lips turned up in his goofiest, most content smile. 

That was until he opened his eyes. The look of horror and disgust he saw in the wide eyes looking back at him made his stomach flip, and he instantly started to regret his impulsive decision. Clay laid in shock for a few moments, before jumping up and wiping his mouth, as if that would undo what Liam had done. He grabbed his phone and called his mom, yelling hysterically about what had happened. Meanwhile, Liam desperately fought back tears as he begged Clay to calm down, repeating several times that it was a mistake. 

It wasn't until the next Monday at school that he truly realized the multitude of his mistake. Before he even made it into the building, he had people yelling homophobic slurs at him, and people pointing, staring, whispering. Clay had told all his friends, who had told their friends, who had told their friends, and eventually the events of that night had spread throughout most of the school, drastically changing and warping each time they were told.