#selly rambles

it's also my first time trying something experimental like this, so hopefully it goes over well... "once you learn the rules you can break them" well let's hope i know the rules well enough lol

okay i'm back for another post in this little series! today we're going over clovis's pjosceu fic and its themes and meaning. check out the previous one on connor's fic if you haven't already.

this is what i had set up for clovis's fic:

trauma response: self-neglect premise: "being willing to sacrifice all of yourself to find yourself and your supposed purpose." themes: abandonment, unimportance, tiredness, purpose, responsibility

clovis's fic mainly revolves around one main thing: him wanting to be someone of purpose. this is expressed through him trying to find his parentage and through his powers. he tries very hard to find out who his father is and to understand what the "point" of him being a demigod is. later in the fic, clovis yearns to be seen and accepted as someone of repute, and therefore sacrifices a lot of his own health in order to do this for people, following this mindset of "i need to do something/provide something for others in order to be of use". he has a very... capitalistic (for lack of better word) viewpoint on life, i guess. this is also kind of a reflexive response towards the neglect minor gods receive in camp half-blood; clovis attempts to "prove himself" because he doesn't want to be "useless".

i took a somewhat (i think?) unique perspective on clovis's constant sleeping for this fic. i portray it as a symptom of deprivation due to him not being able to control his powers, and later, not controlling them properly. his constant dozing, in the context of my fic, is because he is genuinely not asleep when he's "asleep": he's awake in the dream world. this is a pretty obvious metaphor of his self-neglect: the more he stays awake (as he does it to help people), the more tired he gets—the more he tries to prove himself, the more he hurts himself. this is supposed to show that... you're not supposed to be killing yourself over achieving goals or helping others, which clovis does understand eventually get over by starting to fix his sleep schedule!!

there's also a point in the story where hypnos points out that all of clovis's lack of sleep is due to his own hand. clovis initially tries to blame it on his powers, but really it's the misuse of powers that causes his pain: he doesn't take responsibility for the negatives that affect him and he is only able to get better when he does.

detracting from clovis's personal character arc, we also have a little side story with ethan nakamura and, as my sister calls it, "the angsty gay situationship they have going on". ethan is introduced as kind of a foil to clovis: they both sacrifice a lot of themselves in order to support a "bigger cause". but while clovis reels this in before having a doomed fate, ethan doesn't (like in canon).

i think i mainly put this in to show that, despite being a reflex or response of trauma and their environment, a lot of what occurs to campers is of their own choice. a lot of the pjosceu is about free will: just like connor has no control over other people leaving him in his fic, clovis has entire control over the pains that befall him (at least the ones i serve in the story).

are you asking me to rec or write more 😭

recs: i know a girl from a lonely street by makemelovely; jasmine scented-ashes by deadangelo; exit, pursued by bear by mcpicktwo; the goat @drewtanakagf has a bunch and they're all lovely and ofc seph also runs @drewtanakaweek which is coming up soon so lots of new drew content incoming!

i'm actually putting effort into my fits again because i am going to campus now so thanks for asking! let's get this rolling with winter:

i'm a fem fashion girlie so tights are a MUST. and don't get those stupid cheap ones either. dance tights (specifically ballet) are nice and thick, not too warm but not too thin, come in a variety of colors and transition tights are also a nice feature!! especially when wearing skirts and dresses!!

turtlenecks! wear this under any summer top and bam you have a winter outfit. i heart turtlenecks and mock turtlenecks. easiest stuff ever

in this same vein, camisoles/button up tees or vests that layer nicely! spicing up outfits >>

i'm personally into sweaters pullovers and sweatshirts (i hate hoodies lol), they're really nice just with a skirt poking out underneath or baggy over pants, especially when they come with nice prints they're super fun and comfy

leg warmers. they really make all the difference, especially when you're wearing a nice mary jane or loafer with it

and as always accessorize i am super maximalist so i always have at least five bracelets on every wrist and the danglier the earrings the better. also hair pieces whether headbands or hair clips. i don't like doing hairstyles because my hair is unfathomably disobedient but my head looks naked compared to the amount of accessories/color i wear so hairpieces are a lifesaver

spring: finally my fvaorite season. cold enough i can wear sweatshirts and layer but warm enough to be able to wear short sleeves. i heart spring. anyway! since i can more often wear skirts here i like to play with shoes a lot and silhouette:

cowboy boots plus skirt/dress/shorts equals fit goals

i feel like every fem gal needs a good denim miniskirt. it casualizes every outfit which can be good if you wear tops more on the going-out side (which i tend to do) with lots of lace frills etc.

light cotton cardigans! especially tie front ones. adds color shape and idk i really play with color a lot so it's just important to me

ngl i focus a lot on accessories and color so i feel like i don't have a lot of spring "staples" for outfits like i do with winter (when i prioritize being warm so i'm more restricted on stuff to wear) but i generally try for more flowy stuff. lots of flowy dresses, button ups/tops, and skirts (especially maxi skirts i cant express how obsessed i am with maxi skirts)

ending notes:

why are you asking me for fashion advice anyway what part of my fanfics made you assume that i'm a fashionable person? unless anon you're either one of my sisters or ameera who would know