Why I’m okay not having a lot of friends.
When i was 5 the boy i liked told me i was prettier than my friend. I told him he was rude and told my friend she was beautiful and boys dont know how to be nice. Secretly i still wanted him to ask me to play hopscotch at recess. Instead i ignored him and continued being a good friend. One day soon after i got sick and missed a day at school. I came back and my friend had a new hopscotch partner at recess. It was the boy i liked. This is why im okay not having a lot of friends. When i moved in 5th grade i was partnered up with someone for a project... it involved first asking eachother questions about one anothers lives. The question my partner asked me was “who are some of your best friends” the first two names i said were my older sisters. She said “thats weird, theyre your sisters not your friends”. This is why im okay not having a lot of friends. When i was in 7th grade my friend had a birthday party she was talking about at lunch and i asked why i wasnt invited, her response was “sorry my mom said i was only allowed to invite my close friends”.This is why im ok with not having a lot of friends. In 8th grade i moved and found out i wouldnt be going to the same highschool as everyone i spent the last 3 years adjusting to after just moving and having to do the same thing not too long ago. I was really upset and called my group of friends to tell them im going to miss them. They said highschool is about making new friends anyways we live far from eachother now anyways so we’ll drift apart. This is why im ok with not having a lot of friends. In highschool i was the new girl. I quickly got close with people. There was a team sleepover. I wasn’t invited because they forgot their was new teamates and were used to their middle school team. This is why im okay with not having a lot of friends. When i was a sophomore a classmate made up a rumor that i was pregnant when she found out her ex boyfriend asked me out on a date. I was still a virgin. This is why im okay with not having a lot of friends. Junior year i was at a party and saw who i came to the party with making out with who was supposed to be my boyfriend. This is why im okay with not having a lot of friends. Senior year i went through some hardships and didnt go to school for a couple weeks. Someone made up a rumor  saying i overdosed, slit my wrists and was in rehab. This is why im okay with not having a lot friends. After highschool everyone who i did consider got close with that went to a college outside of illinois didn’t keep in touch. This is why im okay with not having a lot of friends. Someone asked me the other day if you could pick one thing to have other than money or health what would you pick? I said, to have a friend that cares about me as much as i care for others, to have a friends that loves, supports and is there no matter what like i am for others. This is when i stopped and said that im okay being that person for myself. I said, im okay with not having a lot of friends because im the best friend i could have even if its with myself.
