#selfishly wrong

Tw: depiction of organs

(TW; disembowelment, eye trauma, blood)

Maybe if I start with an apology this will be easier.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that it took me seeing you with her to know that I don’t want anyone else.

I’m sorry that I didn’t believe how strong your feelings were for me because of my own insecurities.

I mean you gotta understand, I’m new to this.

Been on my own for so long.

I forgot how to treat a significant other.

I forgot that it’s ok to depend on someone else.

I said that you could do whatever you wanted,

But I didn’t think you really would.

Not this soon.

Now I pace the floor asking myself if I pushed you into her arms.

Now I lie awake at night wondering if she’s getting everything that was meant for me.

Now I’m paying for it.

I thought I was so right, I thought my plan was the best.

But I was wrong.

Selfishly wrong.

Now it’s back to me without you.

Back to me being on my own.

I guess that’s what I always wanted anyway,

You must have figured me out.

Must have figured out that I was only using you when convenient.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that it took me seeing you with her to know that I don’t want anyone else.

I’m sorry that I didn’t believe how strong your feelings were for me because of my own insecurities.

I thought I was so right, I thought my plan was the best.

But I was wrong.

Selfishly wrong.