#self-indulgence

I'd like to start by reiterating that I like both the Finral x Vanessa and Finral x Finesse ships, and I'd go so far as to say that I actually really like that romance isn’t the main focus of Black Clover. I truthfully didn't get into shipping in the series that much because it was so sidelined which really allows the strong friendships and familial bonds (especially in those wonderful found families) to shine!

Also, to this point, I love Finral and Vanessa as just platonic friends just like @just-a-little-fan-1793 mentioned (and on some level, honestly might prefer them that way). That said, I still think the manga did a much better job of qualifying their relationship in that way. When I mentioned in my original ask that I felt the anime played up Finral and Vanessa in a romantic sense, I really blame the English dub for that as I feel like the original Japanese anime played things much less flirty and much more familial teasing between them (it's the delivery of some lines, especially the ones in the sea temple). I've seen both, and I think if I had watched the Japanese first, I would have felt similarly that they were just good friends as I really don't have the strongest "romance detector" in the world and tend to default to platonic friendships unless whacked over the head with the romance. 😅😂

For me, some of those exchanges between them were just too flirtatious (in English). Maybe I was just looking through the lens of my own experience knowing that some of my dearest and closest friends are guys and I'm a woman, and I would never ever talk to my guy friends that way, especially if I knew they were as desperate for love as Finral. I realize part of that is just Vanessa being Vanessa but at the same time, it's (arguably) irrefutably that she is Finral's "best friend"...she knows him better than most people which means she knows how at least a part of him is going to take her saying she'd "let [him] take [her] on a date" if they survive the sea temple battle (and so on). It seems unreasonably cruel to tease him like that if she had him firmly in the "Brother Zone." (Not saying she wants to date him just that I felt there was a least the tiniest sliver of potential there for this reason. Even if the potential is barely 0.0001%, it's still more than zero. I just don't think she would've said it to Finral (again because she knows what he's like and how he'd take it), if the potential was zero). This line was not in the manga, so again, I blame the anime for the confusion which I think is a point that Lyra @lyranova and I both really agree on.

To the Finral x Finesse point, I agree with Erika @loosesodamarble that Finral and Finesse's relationship was handled poorly by the narrative in a troubling variety of different ways. Finesse should have (and easily could have) been mentioned sooner and it should have been made clear that Finral really was pining after her this whole time. Also, this "joke" that it's turning into is not funny and is honestly concerning for Finral's mental health, like he's gaslighting himself and we're all supposed to laugh at it?? It's bizarre and I'm really not a fan.

I would like to state for the record however, that my biggest concern with this pairing is not that I prefer Vanessa for Finral (honestly I'm not sure that I do if it was just personality-wise as I like both pairings equally in that respect but the situation things surrounding a Vanessa x Finral relationship are far less troubling to me which is why I think I tend to lean that direction). My biggest concern isn't even that the narrative kind of botched the Fin Fin execution--I'd be willing to forgive that since I do love Finral x Finesse as a pairing, but what I cannot possibly get over is that I can't think of remotely believable situation in which Finral can marry Finesse without going back to House Vaude. She is the king's grandniece, promised in an arranged marriage, and chronically ill. She also is meek and traditional just by nature. She can't and (I would argue) won't just elope with Finral. I'm sorry. I wish that was the case, but it isn't. If/when they try to make an elopement (or a "Finral gets the girl but Langris gets the estate" situation) happen in the canon, it will feel cheap, unrealistic, and/or nonsensical to me, and I say that as someone who actually ships this pairing and wants to root for them (which is a big source of my frustrations). Unless House Vaude miraculously burns to the ground (we can only hope right🤞), Finral will live there if he marries Finesse. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Which leads me to my main issue, I would rather gnaw off a limb than see Finral return to his abusive home, and I honestly say that with very little hyperbole. Now, I'll disclaimer this by saying I have a lot of personal connection to this topic (probably too much to stay level-headed about it) having loved a "Finral" (someone who ran away from an abusive situation in eerily similar circumstances) in real life and that may cloud my judgment a little bit here because, to be frank, the idea of that person returning to their abusive home for any reason at all makes me feel physically ill. Yes, of course, Finral himself is a fictional character, but the sentiment extends to him too because this whole plotline just hit way too close to home for me to the point where I have lost actual sleep worrying about what's going to happen to Finral and if he's going to go back to House Vaude at the end of the series. I realize there is some projecting there on my part (which is why I mentioned it), but it's the biggest reason I don't think I could really cope with a "Finral's happily ever after involves him becoming Head of House Vaude" ending, especially since Finral's romantic interest in Finesse has been handled so poorly by the narrative that they can't even make the (albeit weak) argument that "Well he loves her so much that it's okay he's going back to House Vaude. His love is so strong it'll help him weather the storm of abuse waiting for him when he goes back there." [For the record, that is a terrible, weak argument just objectively and it would be even if Finral x Finesse was the most perfectly handled ship in the history of the universe, but it can't even begin to be made here when he is literally banging his head against a wall yelling at himself that he actually is in love with her like "sHe'S tHe OnLy OnE fOr Me! Why doesn't anyone believe me?" Probably because you look like you're gaslighting yourself, buddy... 🙄 And yes, this is all just a bad joke, I understand, but it's in really poor taste considering what's at stake here is Finral returning to a toxic environment where he was tormented and abused for nearly two decades until he finally escaped in his adulthood. There is absolutely nothing funny in that.]

My heart breaks for Finral and I feel extremely protective of him, so my biggest concern in all of this House Vaude drama is his safety and well-being. I know that going back to House Vaude (no matter what his reasoning) will not be the best thing for him. Even if he believes that's "what he wants," it really isn't what he wants--it's only what he "thinks" that he wants because he has unrealistic expectations of what returning home will be like (See, his whole "I will make Father acknowledge me" speech when he "declares war" on Langris before leaving for the Heart Kingdom). That's not going to happen. That's never going to happen. The harsh reality is that the Lord and Lady Vaude are horrible, awful people who are incapable of unconditional love--a fact which has messed up both of their sons.

I worry about Langris too, of course, but he at least seems to have a better understanding of the reality of this situation than Finral who still keeps blaming himself like it's somehow his fault his father and stepmother don't love him. He still believes he can "earn" their love and just hasn't yet because there's something wrong with him, whereas by this point in the story, I think Langris is aware that there really is not and was never any love there to earn in the first place. Nothing either him or Finral do will ever be enough for Ledior and Liliane. Langris understands this, and Finral doesn't (which as much as I would love to rescue them both from that hellscape, if one of them has to stay, at least Langris knows what he's getting into).

Finesse unfortunately is way too connected to this house, this situation, and these people on account of the arranged marriage. If she was just some random castle town girl who had no connection to the Vaudes whatsoever, I think I'd have had much less of a problem with her being introduced late because Finral could just marry her without involving his horrible relatives at all (and that is the real issue for me here). But unfortunately, that is not the scenario presented to us by the canon. As it is now, Finesse and House Vaude go hand in hand and likely always will. I think Finesse herself knows this which is why she likely gave Finral space all of those years after he left. I like to think she really does love Finral which then begs the question of what she wants because I can almost guarantee you with 99.9% certainty that if she really does love him and has even the tiniest inkling of a sliver of what has gone on in that House Vaude hellscape (which come on, she cares so deeply for both Finral and Langris (however you want to qualify that) and has been around this family for years now, no matter how much her boys try to protect her from it all, she at least knows some of it or can make an educated guess that there's something dark and sinister in that House behind that perfect persona they try to display to the world), she wouldn't want Finral to step one foot back in there for any reason at all but especially not to be with her.

But yes, to be perfectly fair, this really isn't about Finesse personally. I would have concerns about any relationship for Finral if it involved him going back to House Vaude. (Though I'll admit that Langris' involvement in the whole Finesse situation was so unnecessary and has left a sour taste in my mouth, especially since the way things are playing out in the canon it is much easier for me to believe that Langris is the one who really loves her. Just a personal feeling, but it's not one I can give up and even if he acted like a jerk for a lot of the series, there is something unfair and tragic about the idea of Langris who was abused or tortured in House Vaude just like Finral (only in a different way) getting the rug ripped out from under him losing his house, title, what he worked for his entire life, his sense of identity in a way and (possibly) the only woman he has ever loved to his brother (who needs to stay the **** away from all that House Vaude garbage in the first place) but I digress...). Anyway, I think I settled into Finral x Vanessa mainly because it's not even an option for them to go back to House Vaude (not to mention that having been rescued from abuse herself, there is no way in hell she is letting him go back there).

But these are just my own personal feelings and opinions. Everyone perceives and interprets things differently. Like Lyra said, one of the fun parts of being in a fandom is getting to see all the different perspectives and interpretations. Everyone likes what they like, and it honestly would be really boring around here if everyone was exactly the same and liked exactly the same things so I'm really a big believer in (to paraphrase an old adage) just ship and let ship. I've no problem with either of these ships and no problem with anyone who ships both, one or the other, or neither of them. I personally actually like both of them myself. My only problem is Finral going back to his abusive home and as that seems like a more likely possibility with one (and the one that is most likely to be canon), it does leave me with some big concerns and some sour feelings for what otherwise would have/could have/should have been just a very sweet pairing.