#self lovve

I woke up this morning and made breakfast for myself. Like an actual meal, not just toast. 

Last night, in therapy we had a good long talk about my food insecurity and how I never felt safe to ask for my needs, and further internalized the belief that “ My needs are bad/dangerous/unnecessary/an inconvenience. It was startling as I started to really realize how much this belief was painted all over my life. 

The plan is such: I will care for myself and my needs as though they are to be celebrated. LIke a child is celebrated for eating or peeing. So far, this has been really hard. 

 I have a lot of trust issues around my own needs and not trusting I will make a good effort to fulfill them My little girl deep inside me doesn’t trust I will take care of her, it will be a process. 

I hope this healing resonates with you and you also find some solace in it. 

 Of note, I have a let’s play channel I use to get some feelings out.