#self keeping

Laura and I were talking about our relationships to our bodies a while back and she said something I just loved.

See, having a gratitude practice is one of the most effective parts of mindfulness for me. In moments of frustration or self-doubt or shame, taking a moment to be grateful helps me to redirect those feelings in a more productive way.

Laura mentioned that she was trying to appreciate all the things her body can do, and I was nodding along like yep, yep, we're out for a walk right now! And then she said, "Like how my liver filters my blood."

Whoa.

We forget just how many amazing things our bodies are doing all the time to keep us healthy, things we don’t even think about. Reflecting on that for a moment felt humbling.

Our bodies have function. I have hands that can type and hold a pen, arms to hug my friends, legs my cat likes to nap on. My body is the point of contact between me and the world.

With all this said, I also appreciate the side of the body positivity movement that encourages people to feel beautiful in their own skin. I understand why people want to decouple body positivity from “attractiveness.” But I hesitate. I find value in seeing myself as beautiful.

Not to be marketed to. Not to attract a partner. Not to exist for consumption. But because there is an artist in me who sees my body for its colour, its curves. Who appreciates that I can be a canvas for clothes or a new hairstyle or nail art. 

Because when you observe things closely and give them your full attention, so many things can be beautiful, us included. There are few things that demand our attention the way our bodies do.

There’s that lyric from Sunday in the Park with George:

"Pretty isn't beautiful / pretty is what changes / what the eye arranges / is what is beautiful..."

I find that cultivating beauty in everyday things makes my days better. It has utility. Whether it’s baking twisted brioche or designing my Excel budget with a pastel colour scheme, I find joy in that, and that joy improves my life.

So. In the care and keeping of myself, it helps to remember that my liver filters my blood, and it helps to think of my stretch marks as cute, and it helps to be grateful that I can go for a long walk with my friend. That’s my body positivity.