#selask

Omg congrats!!!! He does love a MILF…be careful. Thank you!!!

Oh anon!! Don’t apologize! This is a safe space🩵🩵thank you🎀 TW: Eating disorder and self harm mentions.

The first time it’d happed he’d be freaked out.

“Oh come on! Everything’s fine. Look!” He’d gesture at himself and around. “You got… me, you’re gorgeous too! Don’t….sulk.”

He’d look at you and notice that it didn’t…seem to do the trick. He’d scan your body, read your blood, sense what you maybe didn’t, couldn’t tell him yet, and then? He’d understand. Yet still. He believes that his presence himself, being in his light, should be enough. So why are you sad?

He gets sad a lot himself. Cries, punches his forehead, burns his skin off…just like a child who can’t get a drawing right, or brush their hair without getting it to be all frizzy. He gets aggressive with himself, others, his surrounding. But in this moment? He doesn’t…want that. Doesn’t feel like that. But he doesn’t feel cinematic softness either. As touchy as he is…this is…a tender moment. Maybe one he can’t handle. All he can afford is a soft nudge of his shoulder into yours and an eye contact that would break anyone other than you. The nudge turned into him rubbing your back now. His lips would obviously stay a line-meaning he still doesn’t understand everything. Wasn’t he enough? But abused children grow up to recognize patterns really well. Sometimes that ability gets buried deep down…but…

He’d smack his lips and leave them open, staying like this for a little bit. Back and forth. Just like his hand, like his hum. A stutter. Then back at you. So he says something that you always say to him when he gets bad.

“How about we watch a movie? Or take a shower…we can…eat something?”

Oh he only made it more awkward. Yet there is something sweet about how proud he looks. Proud of himself. Look at him, praise him. He knows…he knows you so well! In his weird…”I can X-ray you” way.

“Come on, let’s do something.” He’d say again and pinch your cheek like mother does her baby. He doesn’t even let you answer. “Wanna fly to Paris?” He’d look at you like he’s serious. “Oh for fuck-“ he’d start when he noticed your inner tiredness. “You know I love you, right? I don’t want you sad. I’ve been…sad too. You know…before. You’re always so…good with me, it’s like you know exactly what to do. And I don’t.” He’d stand up now. Frustrated. And look down at you.

“C’mere” and before you could do something? He’d pull you into a breaking hug. “I will get you a milkshake. On real milk, I like you strong.” He’d nuzzle your hair and breath in, humming a bit again. “…Can I do something else for you? Tell me what’s up.” He’d murmur as he gently steers you to sit in his lap, heart to heart.

I’m sorry but he’d be so awkward about it🩵

I don’t think he’d be good at comfort until he figures it out. He learns your routine, your heartbeat, if your eyes stay on him or away. Do you want his touch or you don’t…but when he gets it right? The next moment it happens? He won’t be scared. Milkshakes, silence, talks, laughs, cries. He’d do it all. Paris and home, distance and closeness. He’d learn if you teach him.

So…if it happens again he knows what to do. Not like he has to. Homelander’s girl is never gonna be sad again.

ok the thing is that in fanon he's either written like

dom daddy 50 shades of gray kinda guy, that needs to be in charge at every single moment, or

subby wubby mommy kink haver that complains when you don't pay attention to him and follows you around like a lost puppy (but won't admit it)

which one do you think it's the most correct? i personally enjoy both, but I guess homelander whining and being super clingy makes much more sense according to the canon...

Homelander is your mirror. He will whatever makes YOU happy at the end of the day. This is so long btw, had to make it into chapters. (One sentence answer at the end)

1.Influence

We know 3 things canonically that shaped him. And there’s one thing that I head canon strongly:

A) he was conditioned by watching stories of a perfect American family, a husband who protects the wife, teaches his son how to be a man, makes sure his daughter finds a good partner

B) he experienced sexual trauma in the lab that ended up repressing some side of him. For those who missed it, in s4 ep4 he remembers how the scientists made fun of him for masturbating/there was cameras ALWAYS on him

C) when he just joined Vought he was 17/18 and Madelyn was in her early 30s I believe.

D) (head-canon) in the finale of s1 when he has sex with Stillwell he slaps her which she doesn’t like, she sees it as aggression. If this was influenced by anything I believe it would be porn. He isn’t stupid, he knows he doesn’t love or care for America. Same with those values from the movies. He likes the idea of them but he is also drawn to the other side of the coin. He just lives the stereotype they put him in, but there’s a human instinct to get out of them and this is what this text is about.

2.Relationships

Two types you described are reflections of what we saw with Madelyn and Stormfront. So the confusion is valid, they are two different behaviors.

He was depended on Madelyn, shadowing her, wanting her approval. This is what she wanted from him. Even that slap, whatever it was supposed to communicate (his preference or whatever he thought SHE expected bc “that’s what people like”) was shut down by her quickly and he just adjusted politely.

With Stormfront, the moment SHE threw him around, he matched her pace. Their sex scene is wild, then they fuck in public, he makes that sex tape and even there you can hear how crude is the language he uses towards her.

3.Importance of propaganda

I believe that he is confused himself. Being sweet and caring is something he’d associate with Vought propaganda. Even if he truly wants a white picket fence, he doesn’t feel completely…natural in it? A side of him is always mocking it. And when it happens? It’s very forced. Maybe even more exhausting than that. Because he craves it SO much it makes the people around him, for example Ryan, fear him even more. He’s not angry, he’s obsessed. He has expectations. Even when he got Stormfront the flowers but she didn’t care and he burned the trailer down. HE SO WANTED THIS. He wanted tenderness, appreciation, soft kisses. This man never had a good make out session I believe; slow and vulnerable. Of course he freaked out on her. His expectations were over the roof and she just dismissed them. It’s like when u really want something that someone promised you and all you get is a low budget version. He felt that people just don’t get it. When in reality perfection doesn’t exist. Which is another important point here. He doesn’t understand, because he believes in unrealistic standards of love. That’s why he tries to find “a key”. Not in a strategic way, no. Like a lost pigeon who goes from trash can to trash can just doing it automatically. Vought’s propaganda made him ASSUME and BELIEVE he knows what he wants.

4.Importance of sex

On the other hand, talking filthy and dominating/switching is something that seemed to also come naturally to him. Just like that deep need for domestic life.

It’s not like he had to hype himself up, no, he just did it. And he knew how to do it. So technically, he is good at both. He can be picture perfect blonde guy, and a sex machine in private. BUT. Are any of them real, are any of them what he wants to be forever. Nahh.

I think he craves a mystery. A life where sex can be his private matter. Not Vought’s, not transactional. So he believes in that human approach to it. BUT THEN. He uses sex as a deflection on people who rage bait him. On Hughie, Starlight, Meave too. Or when he spoke to Zoe and Ryan? That was disgusting. He doesn’t understand the importance of sex. Why would he, really. His first experiences were mocked and recorded, his second experiences was being groomed and kinda assaulted in the corridor. We don’t know what happened next, it was either Madelyn being a groomer or Meave kinda saving the day.

5.

If I were to sum it up I would say that he is super confused, but he also doesn’t want to unpack it. That’s why he mirrors his partner. If you want a dom, he will give u that. If you want sub, he will give you that. As long as he trusts that there’s no transaction or exploitation here….but that’s the thing. If it’s a good relationship, there wouldn’t be…boxes like this, you know? If it’s a good relationship, then he could just be whatever he wants to be. And that’s where we finally, actually approach the question.

Sexuality is fluid. Not just orientation but how you want to experience it, how you feel about it or understand it. You can be in a relationship for a year and things can change or you can learn something you didn’t know. I feel like that would scare him. The fluidity. In a good relationship there wouldn’t be a set pattern. Just like when he was confused with Stillwell. “Does she want to humiliate me, love me, want me to slap her, kiss her…etc etc.” I hate that scene. It’s so…cold. Just…”take your pants off.” And then there’s a cut and a reflection of them upside down in that snow globe, which show perfectly how unnatural the whole conversation was.

His sex scene with Stormfront started from when she told him he’s perfect to her, that she’s been looking for him for years. Even after he learned her backstory (which I believe he had an opinion on but he’d stupid enough to ignore it-I think so because of that one scene where he give her a side eye later) he is still willing to have sex with her because maybe this is the one.

But when he has an automatic/human instinct to switch it up and show her love instead of sex, he learned that maybe she doesn’t want that soft side of him, she wants a soldier. Same with Madelyn, she doesn’t want good sex, she wants someone to control.

Everyone wants either this or that. Either a whiny guy to feel sorry for, or someone to fuck them good. He is a pattern in everyone’s heads. What I lean towards is that he will be different each time. We saw it many times, his emotions go from 0-100. If he was in a happy mood, trust me, he’d make it good and happy. Maybe even soft and full of praise if you initiated it. If he had a shit day he’d probably assume he doesn’t deserve any closeness now, or that vulnerability is a weapon. Boom. That’s when a good partner takes him out of the cage. You can be sad, and still be close AND not be used.

I think we won’t ever know cause no one ever opened that door to self discovery and allowed him to understand himself more. We also don’t know a lot about his relationship with Meave. You can’t find yourself when your inexperience is used as a weapon. That’s why I personally believe that he’d thrive with someone who’s on a similar journey. I’m not talking sexually, you can be confident or whatever, but it’s good for him to be with someone who’s also a walking contradiction, ideally someone who is very different from him.

And he never fought for it, did he? Like I said, sex has no importance for him. Sure he likes it with the right people, he only does it with the “right” people. But it’s not a spiritual experience, or emotional. It’s not something that he keeps sacred. It’s just something he did as he hopes it makes him be more loved by someone.

I think that if for once there was zero expectations, zero eyes on him, zero articles or influences coming from the ones who don’t give a fuck about him, he’d know. He’d fight, want to understand, be allowed to try things. That’s what I think would help him. Just trying things out.

He’s a little bit like a circus animal in this sense. A gentle tiger who lets the maestro play him like they want to. But then for just a second the instinct comes back and he bites. And then stays polite for few more hours only to bite again and again. And it doesn’t leave him with freedom, respect or satisfaction. Only more confusion. Why did I bite? Why didn’t they react how I wanted them to? Why does any idea from my side go unnoticed or dismissed, unless it suits them? Am I even a tiger?

One sentence answer? The canon is about him being sexually confused and frustrated, therefore following fixed patterns he was bombarded with or learned from clumsy research because no one ever was patient enough to let him try and discover himself.

⭐️Art under #sellove and #seldrawings!!! COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN! DM🩵 I love drawing him, and I’d LOVE to draw your OC!

🧠I don’t love this guy, I think he deserves to go, but I am in love with the brilliance of how he’s written and the Krip x Toni collaboration

🫯 Important/favs/things important to me under #selfav

meta (?) under #selmeta, ask under #selask, GIFs under #selgif, weird HL themed dreams I had under #seldreams

TW: Some posts maybe show gore or imply sexual themes!!!!!

FYI: Homelander deserves the worst but not bad writing, that’s why here I talk about his characterization and other routes of it so much. We are all having fun, if you’re not-that’s completely fine! I like deep characters, dragged, tender scenes. I am aware of the fact that he is awful and problematic but since it’s tumblr, I will not repeat it every time I write a take.

but alas :,( i am chubby,, i have a very small chest but am very bottom heavy.. also have a bit of a tummy. and i’m neurodivergent + extremely mentally ill and traumatized, i feel like i’m a lot to handle in relationships. specifically struggle with cptsd, bpd, and depression…

(Homelander x chubby reader) TW: Homelander being an idiot.

Hi anon!!!🩵I am sensing a sad undertone :/ So I wrote you this. So many of you wrote about being chubby as if was he wouldn’t find you hot…let me challenge that idea.🎀

Bodies are sanctuaries. Temples, not “amusement parks” like that cook said one time…Homelander never understood why.

Humans can be perfect, why aren’t they? Why do they smoke, drink. Ugh, yew, that’s weak. Make themselves smell even worse than they already do. He spend 17 years of his life killing himself to look like this, so what was the deal now? Why can’t others also be…well. Perfect. Or try to be.

The day was hot and the room smelled of tiredness and sweat. He hated it so much. Super senses barely on hold as he stood there, photographed by dozens of you. Well. There was about 12 women reporters, majority of them Vought would shove down his throat for PR dating. They just…looked the part. About 11 men reporters who will flex about interviewing him for the next 5 years. Homelander sees people as default. In categories. Blonde, brunette, tall, short, skinny, fat. He doesn’t care. All of you are evenly annoying and…Jesus Christ. Lacking in deodorant department. No matter how much you put, his nose will always suffer. People are all the same. They are equally weak to him, no matter how “perfect” they look. His definition of “perfection” is strength. Glow. If he could, he would just burn those hormones out.

He took the shallowest breath he managed and kept smiling. He blinked lazily, and in the mili-second where his eyes were closed one became clear to him. He was bored.

He slowly dragged his eyes over 23 of you, ignoring the familiar faces of Ashley and her assistants in the back, not even bothered with camera men as if it was their fault he was suffering. It was.

He was bored. So he focused his eyes on the person that didn’t seem to fit the most. Who fell out of the Vought canon. Perfection is what he decides it is after all. He scanned her clothes first. He never cared for fashion anyways. But…that is a nice blouse. Looks nice on…her body. Another lazy blink. His eyebrows pinch. Should he use his x-ray vision? Normally he wouldn’t be bothered, but something tells him…Under those clothes? You’re gorgeous. His breath hitched, the cameras kept flashing. This man based his personality on tales of ancient wars, myths, American muses. He knows good hips when he sees them. Then he risks a breath, trying to only smell her. Which is a compliment to his mind. Her blood smells…good, healthy. Strong. His mouth parted softy, as much as they could without making him look weird in the pictures. He wanted to…absorb the glow of you. Did he just wink at her? Was it an instinct?

And because Homelander is how he is, he is already thinking about your life together.

“God you’re pretty young lady…can I take you out? If you let me, of course.” Old charm kicking in.

“Jeeez, you’re heav-I’m kidding. Come on! I was joking! Lit up! There she isss!” He can see she is fighting a smile. Cause he is SUCH a man.

His cheek ticks, eyebrows lift for a soft smile. “Come onnnn. I’m strong. You can climb on me, go on. Opp-yea that’s fine, up you go, pull stronger if you wish.”

“Phew that was… close. Ha hah.” He says as he wipes lipstick from his mouth. “Almost bit me.”

God, with each day he is more devoted. His sanctuary. His body. His glowing lady.

LOVEEE THIS ASK. Hmm yk what? I’m gonna yap.

Many, many times we see Homelander show that he does have the knowledge of the world around him. Idk if that’s what you asking but:

-When he tells Firecracker to get a Ricola

-When he asks Hughie if Starlight is “a good fuck?” Cause he is trying to freak them both out on purpose)

-When he argues with Stillwell and says that he is the only one who loves Vought, because unlike him, everyone is an empty Cornell suit

-When he gets offended by being called HOMIE

-WHEN HE FLIRTED (?) WITH THAT ACTRESS THROUGH NIETZSCHE

-When he speaks Spanish to SuperSonic? Bc did you really learn Spanish just for that….

-When he is a nerd and actually reads. Books stacked on the table, one open, spine up on his bed.

-When he sleeps like a Starfish!!!

-When his penthouse has not an ounce of white and every room is open (including the bathroom). Cause yk….imprisonment flashbacks

-When he lays down in Stillwells lap and looks SO fucking awkward.

-When he is sad and takes Meave’s hand into his lap even tho he knows she actively hates him.

-When he says he loves Smash Mouth…(not related, had to put it here)

Thank u so much Anon🩵🫶yes!!! I have seen it, it actually is visible in the back of the top left fanart!

I wanted to reuse it tho on baby Homelander! Thanks!!! I am currently working on collection of fanarts. THERE will be prints, then turned poster hehe. I’m planning to have them printed, put so they make a cross, scan it, print it. Really religious, really heart breaking💋

https://youtu.be/QFNgOAhgjB8?si=jmAYw_3SUefFoyYn

Oh I haven’t seen that in a long time! I love how straight Toni’s back is whenever I see him? He’s walking on the streets like he has the straightest spine ever. I’m jealous cause I slouch.

About the clip: I love it when old (respectfully) people who don’t have kids talk about having working with kids, his “shut the fuck up” 🫪😭 no no cause I get that. You just wanna film and the poor baby is so confused they won’t let u. At the end of the day you end up with two people who are frustrated. The baby😭I can’t. From what I know about him (industry gossip) he is actually pretty hard to work with. Maybe the kid felt it lmao. Don’t take it seriously tho, I don’t like Hollywood whispers, Kripke has a “no asshole policy” anyways…although we know this also has its questionable moments.

But Karl’s face says it all. “I remember how frustrated u were that day on set. And it was 3am and you hate not sleeping”. That’s how I view it. These guys are cool but clearly early hours aren’t it!