#seifukubu

          I know that I have one. From one look at the way my room in the dormitory has been redecorated, anyone can see it! I’m actually very proud of myself for making this happen. The disgusting black blanket on the bed with its rough cotton sheets almost made me vomit, so I had my favorites shipped here, first-class of course. I couldn’t get my beauty sleep with those ratty, old things; I’ve learned over the years that silk is the best for keeping your skin soft. Along with some throw pillows for the chairs, lace decorations for my desk, and a color change from hideous brown to tactful mulberry, I was able to make the room look beautiful! Well, no bedroom will be as nice as my own back home, but I suppose I can manage with this…

          Besides my own living quarters, my “aesthetic” is definitely one of great beauty. Everything about me must be pristine, pure, and perfect. In fact, that was my entire reason for being a part of that dreaded Caerula Adamas just a few months prior. I believed that following that strange hedgehog would let me get rid of these ugly pigs and bring justice to the world. Though…let’s just say that I’ve learned from that little experience, and I do not need to call myself Perlite to make a change.

          As I had said before, I know what I like, and I exude that with every fiber of my being. However, for a bit of time, I’ve felt…strange. It started with the president showing us a card that was sent to us around a week ago. It had a photo of that ridiculous Defense Club, wearing tacky white wings and holding boxes of chocolate. I assumed it was supposed to be some kind of reply to our Christmas card we sent to them. I couldn’t help but cringe; all five of them just seemed like they were forced to do it. Honestly…if they wanted to do it right, they should’ve went all out, wearing all white to appear like those who represent love. Which one is right: Cupid or Aphrodite? Whichever, they should’ve went with that look, not this cheap excuse that looks like they stopped by a 100-yen store!

          But back to what I was saying, after I seen that card, I started thinking about that club again. It was the usual: Yufuin is still a complete sloth, Kinugawa needs to something about those glasses, Hakone makes me want to retch with how much disgusting food he likes to eat, and Zaou…I never want to think about him, no matter the situation.

          However, I couldn’t get my mind off of Naruko. Those slobs had decided to give him some strange headband to put on, making it look like he had antennae of some kind, with big red hearts on the top. Just one look at his face could tell you that he was embarrassed; it was very obvious. When I first saw it, I had to laugh at the ridiculousness. But once I had gotten back to my room, that image didn’t leave my mind. Even when I was trying to sleep, it didn’t leave! It drove me insane that night, but the strangest thing of all was what I was thinking in my mind as the picture was there:

          Naruko…looked absolutely adorable.

          It doesn’t make any sense to me. Even as I write this down, I still believe that. But, at the same time, I can’t believe it. Going beyond the tacky costume, everything about Naruko just does not fit with the “aesthetic” I live by. He clearly doesn’t take care of himself as much as I do. His hair has so many dead ends that need to be trimmed, and his hands need to a session of moisturizing as soon as possible. Besides his looks, he seems to not care about anything besides his precious stocks…and for some reason that Defense Club. All I can think about is when I tried to get him into the student council so that club would disband. I just knew he would just be in it for the monetary compensation we were going to give him. I could see it in his eyes.

          And then there was the trip that we had taken. I was nervous when I had gotten separated from the others, and it only got worse when I suddenly get tackled by Zaou. That pig was so heavy! And then, after I had dusted myself off from just getting clean, Naruko took a leaf off of me.

          That moment was the closest thing I can compare to how I’m currently feeling. Both in the time in the mountains and as I laid in my bed, my face got hot, and I felt weak. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, no matter how much I tried. It felt absolutely embarrassing, thinking about Naruko so much, and for no apparent reason!

          Thankfully, it only lasted for one night when I was in the mountains. But now…it’s been seven days and every night he has been in my head! I can’t stop thinking about him: his sharp grey eyes, his chiseled physique, the powerful way he holds himself…

          My word, this is ridiculous! I think I may be going insane; I need to see the best therapist when I get back from this study abroad trip. Maybe writing all these thoughts out will make sleep with a lot less of him…