@seerfawn ▐ LUCIEN &* ELAIN
↳ TIE ; elain helps tie lucien's tie.
it has never gotten easier for him , being in her presence. every moment of it came with knowing she did not want him there. he's followed her lead -- kept his distance ; tried to only speak to her when first spoken to ; kept his presents to solstice alone ; moved to the human lands so that she didn't have to acknowledge he breathed the same air. he's done everything he can to make her feel comfortable. none of it helped him sleep at night. none of it kept her from his mind. none of it kept him from running mental fingers along that thread of gold that tied them together.
this was the first solstice with little nyx. lucien considered not coming this year -- he never felt very welcome in the night court , no matter what the others might say to the contrary. they may not notice how he never receives gifts &* spends most of the evening alone in a corner , but he does. perhaps feyre doesn't think anything of how her laughter with cassian affects him -- how it had once been him she called her best friend. perhaps azriel thinks he doesn't notice the eyes he makes at elain -- how lucien has to grin &* bear it because maybe the shadowsinger is what elain wants , &* what she wants is what lucien will give. perhaps none of them think lucien is well aware of the pity that keeps his invitation open ------ how he has no home to go to for the holidays. ( he wants to consider vassa &* julien his new home , but even that doesn't feel right. a home for the homeless. )
he thinks of all of these things as he stands in the guest room at the mirror , eyes squinting at his reflection. his hands are fidgeting with the fabric of his tie -- currently , he's taken it off to debate if he should wear it at all or not. he always dressed too formally for these holidays. cassian has taunted him about it more than once. he likes dressing to impress --- especially when elain was present. but with nyx in the mix of things , this whole evening loomed very ... familial. like a tie was just going to make him feel more other than usual.
he's so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn't notice her at the doorway until he catches sight of movement in the mirror. his shoulders tense , metal eye whirring as it takes her in. she really did move like a fawn ; gentle in the underbrush , scared of being heard. she looks stunning -- as usual. it brings a warmth to his skin that dries out his mouth. but why is she here ? she does not usually seek him out. it was hard to draw her eye at all , much less alone in his room.
❛ can i help you with something , my lady ? ❜ lucien finally speaks up , once his mouth has caught up to his brain. he turns to look at her , gaze gentle as it searches for anything amiss. there's laughter downstairs , the family already gathered for festivities. while he arrived the night prior , he's yet to join them for dinner tonight. it was easier to sneak in once things were in swing already. he could have sworn elain already joined them ... did she come to get him ? his brows pinch together slightly as she makes her way over , no words yet spoken. each step pulls the thread between them taut , threatening to consume him whole.
there's a blank stare waiting for her when she speaks up. he doesn't piece together that she's talking about the tie until she's swept it from his hands to loop around his collar. everything goes silent &* still around them -- at least , that's how it feels as he stands there , hands frozen where they'd been holding his tie at abdomen-height before. he can't bring himself to move or blink or breathe as she begins tying his tie for him. like the fawn , he's scared if he disrupts her , she'll vanish into the brush. so he just stares , lips parted &* gaze endlessly warm as he lets her do what he could accomplish himself. she's looking at her hands , focused on her task.
but there's no way she doesn't feel it -------- his yearning. feel the pluck of the tether as he tests it with one mental nail , like he's testing the string of a violin. notice the warmth of the light that shimmers off the tether. feel the tug that connects their souls.
her hands still ; her eyes flicker up to his. ' it suits you. ' again , he can do nothing but blink at her before she gives the tie a gentle tug that mimics the mental one he'd tested. such a simple response , but he's left utterly breathless.
