Aug 27, 2025
You sound like a virgin, you should be a whore by now.
Iām definitely closer to āvirginā than not. Iāve only ever been fingered/given hand jobs. I know that makes me a pretty useless cunt.
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You sound like a virgin, you should be a whore by now.
Iām definitely closer to āvirginā than not. Iāve only ever been fingered/given hand jobs. I know that makes me a pretty useless cunt.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Finally listened to some actual hypnosis files the other day and it didnāt get me to do the actions it was attempting to trigger but I do seem to be susceptible to the basic relaxation aspect of the trance or w/e - hoping this means I can become more susceptible to the rest of it
Nothing sexier than a cunt that knows it's just a hole. Keep liking my posts & I might just have to find a use for it.
the fact that you went anon and I donāt know which blog this is fromā¦.. Iām gonna be nervous scrolling and liking posts anywhere now but ig thatās probably the point
So it turns out the meds I was trying for adhd did a few things
1) did not improve my adhd at all
2) made me nearly unable to sleep, put me in a constantly on edge mood and physically antsy. Which exacerbates the adhd of it all lol.Ā 3) really turned up my sex drive. My sex drive only has two modes most of the time, ānoneā (most of the time) and ālowā (occasional with tiny instances of ālow+ā). So mostly what this meant was that instead of being on ānoneā most of the time, I was just constantly on ālowā horniness.Ā so thatās why I ended up spending hours at a time on tumblr and bdsmlr for a little while there. Low key horny, canāt sleep, and fully primed to fall into adhd hyperfocus is quite the equation lol.Ā due to the fact that it did nothing for the adhd and I canāt survive on 3 hours sleep every night forever, Iāve been off the meds (hence my lack of horniness and my disappearance here), but will soon be trying another set of meds! Weāll see if the new ones crank up my libido in the same way or not but just figured Iād log in to drop an update and let yāall know I might be way less active than beforeĀ
Iām starting to admit to myself that a lot of my presence on tumblr and bdsmlr are a mild form of self sabotage - I feel like calling it self harm is far too extreme a description but itās at least self punishment. Punishment for what? well tbh I think I figure out one of the things that makes the Asexual Guilt Complex go brrrrr in the way that it does for me. I find my identity in asexuality to be important, and itās still true that I donāt experience sexual attraction, and the idea of sexual contact happening to me in Real Life grosses me out. But I do have a libido, enough that I can be distracted from the inherent grossity of sex enough to do fingering and hand jobs with my boyfriend. Enough that looking at some types of porn can be a turn on. But that about as far as that takes me. dating an allosexual person when youāre ace already comes with the guilt built in, even when your partner is understanding. My boyfriend says that sex is fun but not a huge priority for him, but I know that our extremely mild sexual contact pales to his previous relationships. I know that heās the one who initiates between us, and I know that he could have more fun if I wasnāt asexual. But thereās something about feeling arousal that makes me feel even more guilty. Like I can be sexual enough to do a tiiiny built of sexual contact but not much. And Iām not physically aroused by an attraction to my boyfriend (or anyone) but Iām aroused by porn? It feels more useless and misleading of me that if I had no sex drive at all
so I think thatās why I tried to seek out porn that really makes me uncomfortable - part punishment for liking porn on the first place (like hey you shouldnāt be allowed to just be enjoying the porn, you have to feel bad about it while you do it, so the porn itself should squick you out) and part the idea of being punished sexually myself for not being āuseful enoughā. And part the idea that some fucked up men would actually get off even more to my genuine dislike of sex irl, so that could make my useless state of being useful to someone. Because I donāt think I could change who I am enough to be useful without being forced, but I still have some hatred for myself about it. So yeah. Iāve given myself a complex where I want to feel bad because then Iāll be serving some purpose. Which is fucked lol. anyways as always you can take this as an invitation to treat me like you secretly want to treat women but are too afraid youāll get caught or banned for it.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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yāall turns out inn a way dumber bitch than I knew, the reason dms werenāt working wasnāt because of a shadow ban it was because I was using a fake email address and never verified. I just sent up a real inbox that I could log into and updated my tumblr account email and verified it and now I have access to dms
Iām sorry for being so stupid, Iām gonna go there and asnwer the handful of folks in there and remove the section from my pinned post about it
I think someone in my notes is also shadowbanned, since I saw ā30 notificationsā but when I checked there were like 3. I see a few posts of mine have replies but I canāt see any of them so feel free to send anything you want me to see as asks!
Wanted to say hello slut but couldn't message you as you dont follow my blog. So follow my blog?
yes sir Iāll follow you right away! I think the messages arenāt available though bc Iāve been shadow banned :( if you ever want me to answer privately just let me know and Iāll assume any messages from you moving forward are meant to be private (unless you tell me to post certain things publicly)
Iām also on bdsmlr with the same username and I have access to dms on there (though I check it less often so you might need to let me know on here if youāre messaging me there)