#secretposts

feeling disconnected from my usual socials. logging in to tumblr for the first time in over a year. my old safe space. the world around me is 90 degrees and i sit here with my fan on, blinds shut, face sunburnt. think i’ll give this a whirl again while sipping this riesling. i remember seeing somewhere that riesling is what sissy goils drink. that’s cool, i don’t mind.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I was just where you are, and now I’m going to be where you were. Forced to be where you were. I’m just not sure what the message is.

he said he doesn’t like the body wash. The scent isn’t for him. but he loves it because it makes him think of me.

Your little face is popping up and I still miss it. I’m fighting the urge to say something. I keep telling myself if you wanted to, you would test the waters. Maybe Frankenstein will get a little <3 out of you.

I hope you see my wall in the picture and remember how it was when you saw it in person. I hope you think “wow she’s made a lot of progress”. I hope I’m at the forefront of your mind this month. We had a good October last year.

I’m not that sad anymore. It’s still there deep down but I don’t think about you all the time. Seeing your face doesn’t make my insides jump. I’ve reached the acceptance stage, and I’m sure the sadness will come back in a big wave, but for right now, I’m just moving forward.