#secondbrownie

Something happened to us tonight, Alex, something...broke.

She hasn’t let on how much those words actually hurt. It’s not a thing, it’s never been a thing for either of them to talk about  feelings, especially hurt ones. That had always been more of her and Micheal’s thing, and Ren’s was, well, being Ren.

But Ren was being Ren and she was being Alex and nothing felt right about it. (What did happen to us?)

            “--- I’m sorry.”

     She is quiet, withdrawn, voice lacking characteristic teasing disinterest.  Instead of mockery directed at her closest friend, she cannot manage anything in her voice at all.  She cannot even meet his eyes.  Dark hands wring together.

                     “For being such a --- for being such a shit.”

                              It is just so RAW --- the self - blame, and the emptiness, and the lacking.  All she can manage to do is cry and hate herself and be ANGRY anymore.  Her brother was --- he was TOO GOOD to die and yet he is dead.  AND IT’S HER FAULT.

           But that doesn’t give her the right to be cruel to her friends, to cut them off and leave them.  Let alone his.

                “Look, dude, just --- try to limit it to one brownie this time, OKAY?”