#second names

The first one happened when I was around 8 years old. We were on a trip to i-dont-remember-where, and we had to do a group project about a topic I don't longer remember. When my group finished it, one of my teammates told us to write down our names (only our first name, no surnames). I wrote my two names because I like to use both when I can. They shouted at me because they thought I was writing my whole name surname included when they had only written their first name. I think that was the first time I realised my second name wasn't a "normal" or common name for them. Of course, I refused to erase my second name from the project.

The second one is actually funny, ok? It happened when I was 12. We were in class and my teacher was handing out our exams with the marks. In my country, it isn't common to use surnames, not even with teachers. So, this teacher decided to use our full names that day for the first time just to see how we reacted. When it was my turn, my teacher completely ignored my second name JAJSAJS. So I told him "And what about my second name?" and he was like "You have a second name?". The next time he did the whole name thing he said my second name too. I was really happy that he remembered JAJSAJ.

Talking about teachers, I have to highlight that my name is not hard to say. It is pronounced as it is written. Like, there are no strange sounds or letters that don't match their sound in Chinese and my mother language. However, teachers always refused to pronounce it for some strange reason. They were calling everyone's name to see if they were in class, whole name with surnames included. Then, when they saw mine, the made a pause, breathed and just said my first name. From there, they only said first names like it made it seem less obvious.

The fourth situation took place between the first and the second. My mom realised I didn't use my second name when it came to introduce myself. She didn't want me to feel uncomfortable with it, so she told me she would call me from now on by my second name so I got used to it. Well, it didn't went as she thought it would JAJSJA. I would hear her calling me, but didn't realised it was me who she was calling for. After a week of trying, she stopped and got back to using my first name.

The fifth is about my signature. Despite my mom's worries about me not feeling comfortable with my name, I've always liked my two names. I wouldn't change them for anything. So, when I had to decide my signature, I knew my second name had to be included. At first, I tried to write both and just make the first letters very big and cool and that stuff you do when you sign something. However, it took too much space and I couldn't do it quickly. So, taking my dad't signature as a reference, I decided to only write my initials. Now, almost everytime I do my signature in front of people who don't know my full name, I have to explain that the second letter stands for my second name. They always have the same reaction: "YOU HAVE A SECOND NAME????? A CHINESE SECOND NAME????" It's actually kind of funny seeing people so shooked that they find out JASJAJS

And also talking about reactions, I remember a time I was in discord, trying to improve my speaking and make friends. I ended up talking with this guy who I exchanged Instagram with. When he read my username, he asked me what it standed for. I told him it was my second name and, after the shook, he was like "wow, Chinese second name. That's... so hot". Hot? JJASJAJS It was the first time someone had had a different reaction that wasn't "Wait, why do you have a Chinese name? Are you Chinese? Are your parents Chinese? Where are you from, if you have a Chinese name?". I don't know what are the chances he reads this, but just in case: Hi! JASJ You're the only person who thinks my second name is hot.

Ah yes, and I can't finish this without talking about one of my tutors in high school. I suppose she is one of those teachers who care about their students and actually takes the time to at least read their names before classes start. It was the first day of classes and we had to go to the yard so everyone could meet each other. My tutor was waiting there when I arrived, greeting all the students under her tutoring and introducing herself. I was with my friend, but she completely ignored her and stared at me instead while we were getting closer. Then, she asked me if I was *insert second name* and I was pretty shooked because, as I mentioned before, nobody calls me by my second name. Ever. People tend to ignore it or forget about it. I told her I was used to people calling me by my first name instead of my second, so she also did it.

And then, one day in class we were talking about nationalities and diversity and languages. She wanted to see how diverse our class was and asked us to tell our nationalities/cultures we had a connection with. Several classmates raised their hands and answered. Then, she asked about how many languages we spoke, but realised I hadn't said anything before and asked me directly "And you, where are you from?". Seeing I didn't answer China, she kept asking "And your parents? And your grandparents? And your great-grandparents? And you forefathers?". Jokes on her, I don't care that much about my biological parents and haven't grown up that attached to my Chinese roots. I wish I did, but I've never felt truly Chinese. No culture, no language, no connections apart from my blood. She picked up on the hint when I kept answering the same and stopped asking me. Then, she asked about the languages and I took my chance and said, to her disapointment, German JASJAJSJ. Sorry, ma'am, Chinese is too difficult and I already lost my chance of it being my second language when the nearest Chinese school was 100€ per month.