#seblaineweekend

Five weeks. Five weeks, and Blaine was still as untapped as ever. Sebastian had been forced to actually apply himself at work, because something had clearly gone horribly wrong in Blaine’s childhood that made him want to give everyone verbal gold star stickers for the completion of the most minor of tasks. Between that and the strange, and strangely arousing, attraction to sweater vests Blaine had, Sebastian wouldn’t be surprised if he was aiming to be a kindergarten teacher.

He had expressed this thought to Blaine once. The reply he had gotten:

“Really? Thank you! Children are our future, and I’ve always wanted to help others. I could consider a career change!”

Sebastian was almost concerned by how much he wanted to fuck the guy. Still, he did want to, and no matter the mounting difficulty of the task at hand, Sebastian never backed down from a test of skill. And he had all the skills he needed; now, if he could just get Blaine to stand still long enough to be wooed instead of running around like Little Bunny Foo-Foo, he would be victorious and claim his bowtie-wrapped prize.

Sebastian Smythe saw, came, and conquered over every challenge, and Blaine Anderson would be no exception.

--

There were three bartenders that Sebastian acquainted himself with. Puck, who had the look of someone you could sidle up to on a park bench, slide a fifty, and leave with either a stain in your underwear or some passable weed. Sam, who was Blaine’s best friend for life forever and made an attempt to deliver an impression with every drink; rum and coke with a side of Dubya was disconcertingly popular. Last and certainly not least (if only because she could actually carry on a passable conversation, unlike the other two) was Santana. She was like Sebastian in a sexy, naughty, bitchy kind of way, but he wouldn’t call them friends -- and not just because she made him compare himself to a Tata Young song.

Still, in a sea of idiots, plebes, and sycophants, Santana Lopez certainly stood out. Sebastian was coming to realize Blaine ruled the bar with a fiendishly friendly dictatorial fist, but Santana didn’t stand for it. Where everyone else fell all over themselves for Blaine (except Suzy, who was a touch cool), Santana tended to laugh in his face and think drinking on the job totally was acceptable. So they ‘hung out,’ as it were.

“I mean, is he just a prude?” Sebastian asked, sitting at the second-story bar. He had a glass of vodka in front of him. “He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t fuck me … what else could it be?”

“He’s a lightweight,” Santana disparaged. “I don’t know if it’s because he’s the size of a large housecat or fairies like him only drink dewdrops in the dusky summer evening or some shit, but he totally is. Like, two beers and he can’t walk straight.”

“If only he was a two beer queer,” Sebastian groused. “I’d have more luck then.”

“Probably. You suck,” Santana told him. “I’ve met piss-scented octogenarians on cruises with more game than you.”

“Good to know where your tastes lie.” Sebastian cocked an eyebrow. “Tell me, is changing their diapers after the most exciting part?”

“Ew.” Santana shuddered. “Why so eager for details, Perv Swerve?”

“Details on what?” They turned to see Blaine standing there, having undoubtedly sniffed out that they were not working. He had an eerie sixth sense for that.

“Infantilism? Watersports? I don’t know, ask Sebby here. He’s the one who brought it up.”

Sebastian sighed, then deliberately knocked his drink over onto her front. She shrieked. Blaine was staring at them like he regretted every decision in his life that had led him to that point. A couple cozy in the corner glanced over, nervously turning away from them.

“Oops,” Sebastian said drily. “I suppose the fates took issue with you lying.” He glanced at Blaine. “She was lying. Unless--?” He gazed expectantly at Blaine, who continued to stare, before yelping and shaking his head.

“God, no! Now get back to work!” Blaine turned as if to go, then returned his gaze. “Or you’re fired.”

“Just try to fire me!” Santana shouted after him as he stormed off. The couple shrank back even further. Sebastian gave her a look.

“You know, I’m on thin ice as it is. You don’t need to push him.”

“Please.” Santana continued to rub at her front. “I’ve never heard him threaten to fire anyone as much as you, but you’re still here. I bet, deep down, he likes you. God knows why.”

“Deep, deep down,” Sebastian replied. “I can’t deny he wants to do me, but liking? That’s a bit much.”

“He isn’t just a lightweight with beer, you know,” Santana said. “He’s pathetic about feelings too. He wouldn’t do sex without some kind of liking.”

“Then I am screwed. And not in a fun way.” Sebastian grinned at her. “Want me to cover the bar while you go dry off?” Sebastian had gotten certified to bartend. He had hoped it would impress -- well.

“Fuck you,” Santana said, amiably, then went to do just that.

--

Then, some nights later, Sebastian learned a little more about Blaine. It was a bustling Friday night near midnight when he seated a group of girls about his age.

“Hey.” Sebastian propped himself against the table with a practised laconic edge. “I’m your server. Let me serve you.” He winked.

Sebastian couldn’t be nice to customers, but he sure could flirt with ‘em.

The girls at the table cascaded into giggles, one going “Mr-oooowr” loudly as her birthday tiara slid along her messy blonde hair. It was clearly not their first stop of the evening.

“So have you had enough time with the menu?” Sebastian leaned into the space of a girl with brown hair. She might as well have rings painted on her face, she seemed such an easy target.

“Y-yes,” said the girl, who gave him a lingering look despite her stuttered words. “I think I’ll just have water.”

Dammit. No money in that. And Sebastian wanted to get each drink tip out of them he could. “Are you sure? Our bartender makes a mean cocktail.”

“C’mon, Marley, don’t be so boring!” Birthday girl protested, and their other friends echoed this. “It’s my party! You do what I say!” She revealed she also had a birthday scepter, which she pointed at Marley and Me threateningly. `

“Okay Kitty …” Marley squinted at the menu. “I’ll have a Climax.”

“I can give you one,” Sebastian purred, smirking as she went red, then glanced at the other girls. None of them looked like virgins, so a more sophisticated touch was needed. “And you ladies? A Sex on the Beach, maybe? Or a Tie Me To The Headboard?”

Classy and careful, that was Sebastian to a T.

“Unique’ll have a Hurricane,” said the girl who had strolled in wearing heels so high Sebastian had felt dwarfed. He wondered if she’d fall over leaving; that would be hilarious. By far the second-best part of his job was watching people humiliate themselves.

The first best thing wore clamdiggers and sang Katy Perry while filing permits. Life was strange.

“I’ll have a -- hmm -- a whiskey sour,” said the girl to Unique’s left. “And, um, could you tell my Blainey-bear that Tina’s here?”

“Blaine’s not working tonight,” Sebastian replied swiftly. “Sorry.”

“Really? I swore his schedule said …” she laughed, loudly. “I’m Tina, his roommate.”

Naturally Blaine had roommates. Sebastian could never. He needed his 'me' time. Masturbatory and otherwise.

“Hm? Well, there was a shift change.” Sebastian shrugged. “What about you, birthday girl?”

“I’d rather sit on fire ant tacks than live with Blaine.”

“I meant to drink.”

“Cosmo, round of vodka shots, four waters, and two plates of fries” Kitty commanded. “And call me Queen Cat, stork legs.”

Sebastian gave her a wide smile, and resolved to spit in her drink.

“Alright, I’ll be right back.” Sebastian grabbed the extra menus, then took off for the kitchens. He delivered the order, poured the waters, dropped them off at the table (overhearing Kitty declaring “And then his brakes gave out and we started rolling down the hill--”) then headed to the bar. Sam nodded at him.

“Hey man.” Sam did a flip with his shaker, and the couple watching him applauded. “I’m busy, can you do your own?”

“If I must.” With a shake of his head he got his ingredients out, making each drink in turn, keeping an eye on the doorway leading to the back. As he finished pouring the last shot, the door started to swing open and he caught a tell-tale glimpse of ankles. He hastily picked up the tray and arrested Anthony on his way by. “Bring these to table four, Andy.”

Not waiting for a reply, he shoved the tray at Anthony and took off toward the door, getting there in time to trap Blaine against it as it swung close. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Blaine breathed out, eyes wide, then his shoulders settled. It was a move Sebastian had gotten annoyingly familiar with, these past few weeks. That was what Blaine always did when he remembered Sebastian was dangerously tempting and rejected him. Sebastian wasn’t even personally hurt; he was merely worried, in the most altruistic of ways, about what that kind of start-and-stop stress that put on Blaine. It would be so much healthier if he would just give in. “Could you not block the doorway?”

“I’ve got a question.”

“Yes?” Blaine crossed his (lovely) arms.

Sebastian glanced over his shoulder at table four, then back at Blaine. “I’ve forgotten, what do we do if a customer asks for water?”

“Uh, give them it?”

“But is ice water?”

“Yes is ice water?” Clearly Blaine thought Sebastian had retorted to caveman speak to match his hot masculinity. “It’s more refreshing.” He shifted, pupils wide as he traced how close Sebastian was, who couldn’t help but let his arm drop a bit, cloistering them in more.

“I mean, could I give a customer a glass full of ice?”

“You could,” Blaine said, hand landing on Sebastian’s arm. He didn’t push, and Sebastian tried to hold back a smirk. No one could resist his biceps. “You could also get fired.”

“Ah, ah, but according to the properties of solidification, ice must be denser than water, so we’re really giving them more bang--” Sebastian cocked his hip to the side, and Blaine watched, licking his lips “--for their buck.”

“No, ice wouldn’t float if that was true. It expands when it solidifies.” Blaine was, Sebastian had come to find, quite bright. To match his shining personality, Sebastian thought, for all of three seconds before he wanted to punch himself in the face. “So in interest of fairness, let’s give them all the liquid water they want.”

Blaine was all about fair play, of course. He probably didn’t peek in the envelope during Clue or park in Reserved for Women Spawning spaces.

“Well, thanks for clearing that up for me,” Sebastian said, stepping away to push open the swinging door to the back. Blaine’s hand sadly fell away. “You’re going this way, right?”

“No?” Blaine blinked, oh-so-cutely confused, and Sebastian smirked.

“You see--”

“Is that Tina?” Blaine ducked under Sebastian’s arm -- the small ones were always difficult to wrangle, and yep, now he would be caught up in thoughts of wrangling Blaine all night long -- and grinned at table four. “Oh, it is. She said she might come by with the girls.”

“Is that so?”

“She didn’t ask for me?” Blaine half-turned to look at Sebastian. “She knows I’d give them a discount.”

Sebastian did his best to look innocently surprised. As he couldn’t hide that he was sly and cunning like a fox, it didn’t totally work.

“Maybe she forgot about you,” Sebastian suggested. It was a foolish thought, to be sure; Blaine was the kind of person, good or bad, you only forgot about via an anvil to the head.

“Hmm.” Blaine was suspicious. “You wouldn’t have been worried about that, and hoping to get more of a tip, would you?”

“Of course not!” Sebastian said. “I mean, just because I’m currently winning in the tip race …”

Not that that was much to brag about. The rest of his fellow summer workers had no game. Suzy Pepper in particular apparently unnerved customers with her heavy breathing, psychotic rantings, and habit of setting glasses down too loudly.

“Yes, you have no motive.” Blaine quirked a brow. It drew focus. Those charming little eye hats tended to.

“Absolutely none.” Sebastian shrugged. “Honestly, once she called you 'Blainey-bear,' I thought your beard had arrived. I was consumed with jealousy.”

“You know, I’ve never actually told you I’m gay,” Blaine said, amused. “You really shouldn’t assume.” Sebastian, equally amused, patted Blaine on the shoulder.

“Oh, Blaine. Creation wouldn’t make a man like you unavailable to a man like me.” Sebastian took in all those scenic points of interest on the tour de Blaine, starting with that plush mouth and ending around that sumptuous ass. Blaine went red. “It would be too cruel,” Sebastian finished, a wicked smile curling his lips.

“Sebastian,” Blaine said, turning to fully face him. His warning tone that told Sebastian he’d gone too far. (Again.) Sebastian removed his hand. “I am unavailable to you. I mean, I’m gay, but--”

“Are you seeing someone?” Sebastian had the ticket for that. “It doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.”

“What? If it bothered me, would you suddenly grow a conscience and leave me alone? What does that even mean?”

“I --” Sebastian paused. “Good question. It is pretty nonsensical. Might be why it never works.”

Crap. Shouldn’t have said that out loud. Sebastian was supposed to suave.

“Now that’s some refreshing honesty.” Blaine grinned. “I’ve got to go say hi to Tina, and tell them they get the discount. Do they have anything waiting?”

“Fries.”

“Then go get that.” Blaine flapped a hand at him, and went to leave. Sebastian was watching him go, and so he was expectant when Blaine turned back. “Oh, and Sebastian? I don’t have a boyfriend.”

With a wink, Blaine was gone. Sebastian leaned back against the wall, just the littlest bit dazed.

What had that been?

When Sebastian approached the table again a while later, after Blaine had left, he found that the girls had worked their way through their drinks and Kitty was saying, “Curved? Yes, curved …”

“As long as it’s big, I do not care,” Tina said, raising her empty glass, then frowning. “More drank is needed.”

“More drank,” Unique agreed, and Marley chimed in with a slurred agreement that sounded like “modrunk.”

“I believe I can help with that,” Sebastian leaned forward, and began collecting their glasses. “So what’ll it be?” Tina hissed a bit, but they all ordered except Kitty, who was contemplating the menu. “Princess?”

“Queen Cat!” Kitty said sharply, but blinking slowly. “Are you stupid? Oh my god, do you need help?”

Sebastian considered her, then plastered a wide smile on his face.

“Congratulations!” He chirped.

“What?”

“I mean, Queens are the cats that get knocked up, aren’t they?” He slid her glass away. “Maybe you shouldn’t be drinking.” Unique and Tina oohed lowly, and Marley bit her knuckle.

“Hmm.” Kitty gave him a once-over. “Not bad. I like you, an’am I’m going to tip you.”

Then she laid her head on the table, and by all appearances, went to sleep.

Yet when they all eventually stumbled out at closing time -- Blaine reappearing to give them kisses on the cheek goodbye -- Sebastian did indeed get a generous tip. Certainly, Blaine’s friends weren’t the worst. (It must be elevation by association.) After they were gone, he turned to Blaine.

“You know … your friend approved of me.” Sebastian smiled winningly.

“Which one?”

“Queen Kitty-Cat.”

“Trust me Sebastian.” Blaine clapped him on the back. “That’s not a good thing.”

“Tina?”

“Probably worse.”

“Unique?”

“Could go either way.”

“Marley?”

“Well if that was true …” Blaine smiled, flicked his gaze along Sebastian’s body, then let that trail off. “Let’s clean up, shall we?” And, swear to god, there was the slightest twitch to his hips as he left.

That was when Sebastian realized Blaine Anderson was not a prude but rather a feisty little flirt, and this game wasn’t as one-sided as he thought.

--

Santana and Blaine both weren’t working one slow day, and Sebastian was bored. This was a dangerous state for him, and to avoid doing something he might actually get fired for, he decided to occupy his time with flexing for himself in the bathroom mirror.

That was when Suzy Pepper slid up behind him.

“Gross,” Sebastian said, eyes going to the top of the mirror to avoid her gaze. Seriously, that face should come with a warning.

“I know this is the little boy’s room --”

“Don’t call it that. It’s creepy.”

“The big boy’s room?”

“Creepier.”

“The boy’s bathroom! I know it’s the boy’s room … but I had to talk to you. About knowing people ...”

“Oh?” Sebastian snorted. “Did Andy send you?”

“Um. Anthony?”

“Yeah, him. Tell him it would be easier for him to change his birth certificate then ask me to call him that.” Sebastian peered at the mirror, checking his teeth. “You and Andy are friends, right?”

“No … I don’t have any friends.”

“There’s a shocker.”

“And you know … you’re the only guy for me,” Suzy breathed. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you. To tell you. I know you. And we belong together.”

“We’ve never talked?”

“I can feel your soul,” Suzy whispered, hands sliding up Sebastian’s back. He stepped back, right onto her feet, and as she hissed and stumbled back to hit the wall he snorted.

“Please. That’s ridiculous.” Sebastian turned, and tried to grab her shoulders. As he was still staring at the wall and not her, he managed to grab first her at her chest (ugh) then her head before settling on his target.

“It’s true!” Suzy argued, gasping in delight as Sebastian touched her.

Pretty typical reaction for Sebastian to get from people, really.

“Really? You think we really have some deep, intimate connection?”

“Yes! Oh, yes!”

“Well I’ve got something to confess to you too …” Sebastian squeezed her shoulders, watching the way her hairband bow jiggled as she head bobbed in excitement. He missed Blaine’s bows. “We don’t, you’re crazy, I’m way out of your league, and nobody will ever want to touch you because you’re disgusting.”

Suzy sniffed. “You don’t mean that!”

“Pretty sure I do.” Sebastian rewound, replayed, and considered his words. “Yep, definitely. Leave me alone or I’ll send my dad after you. He’s a state attorney.”

Satisfied he had covered all his bases, Sebastian let her go. Note: Need to wash hands thoroughly before leaving the bathroom. Well. More than usual. Hygiene was important, kids.

“I love you!” Suzy blurted out desperately. “And you love me!”

Sebastian threw back his head and laughed.

“In your dreams, Salt-and-Pepa.” Suzy ran out, sobbing, and Sebastian started to whistle a cheerful tune as he scrubbed at his hands. That was that handled, then. With a final wink at the mirror -- still looking good -- he left to go check if any customers had money to give him.

--

A week later, Sebastian had a day off and decided to spend it in the park, feeding ducks. Soothing. Secretive. Good way to pick up oversensitive PETA-loving mama boys who were desperate to get laid and therefore had no standards. Despite this, when an oversensitive PETA-loving mama boy who was desperate to get laid and therefore had no standards started making eyes at him across the pond, he didn’t go over. Instead he found himself wondering if the great flaw in his seducing of Blaine was that he hadn’t yet tried approaching him outside of work.

It wouldn’t be that hard, really. Blaine was a “cool” boss and therefore liked to share little details about himself, before threatening to fire Sebastian if he shared details about his own life. (Was it really Sebastian’s fault if his life was R-rated?) Blaine’s favourite coffee place was two blocks away. His apartment was on the fourth floor and the neighbour across the street even with him really loved practicing his fly fishing out the window. His roommates were Tina and Sam, and he was a year older than Sebastian, so he had just graduated and he lived near his school. With a profile like that, Sebastian could track him down easily.

Some people could do backflips, swear in over twenty languages, or ride unicycles. Sebastian could do all those things, and had a knack for following people.

That in mind, Sebastian threw the rest of the duck feed in the pond and left. He drove down to where the coffee shop -- Angie’s Best -- was, entering it on a chance. It was Blaine’s day off, but he was there, sipping a coffee by the window and reading.

Oh yeah. Sebastian had this.

He ordered, and once his cognac-laden coffee was in hand he headed over and dropped into a seat across from Blaine. “Hey, Killer.”

Blaine glanced up, startled, cheeks flushing.

“I--” He recovered well, though. “I thought I told you not to call me that.”

“No, you said it wasn’t right for work. This is a neutral space.” Sebastian took a sip, then grinned at Blaine’s expression. “Our Switzerland.”

“Our Switzerland,” Blaine echoed. He leaned forward. “Did you stalk me across the mountains, then?”

“Well, some guy at work -- can’t remember who -- just can’t shut up about how much he loves the coffee here. I had to see for myself.” Sebastian shrugged. “You being here is a coincidence.”

“Uh-huh.” A smile flitted across Blaine’s face. “What are you studying at school, Sebastian?”

“Pre-law,” Sebastian replied, eyebrow going up. Blaine had never asked about him like that before.

“Makes sense. You’ve got a way with words.” Blaine took a sip of his coffee, eyes surveying Sebastian over the rim. Ah. So Blaine let his flirtiness truly unleash outside The Black Rook.

“They say the way to a man’s heart is through his mouth,” Sebastian licked his lips, then took a sip, watching how Blaine’s eyes traced that even as he gave a startled laugh.

“For a future lawyer, that wasn’t very clear.” At Sebastian’s look, Blaine elaborated. “I mean, there are more than a few things that could fit that -- his mouth? -- so do you care to specify?”

Truly, the prince was free of the castle.

“I could, but it’s a shame to pick just one thing.” Sebastian tapped the lid of his drink. “Maybe a hands-on demonstration of our options would be best?”

“Now you want to play doctor? Is there anything you can’t do?” Teasing smile, eyes catching the light, and god Sebastian had never considered a summer fling before but suddenly it was entirely possible. If you broke up by September it wasn’t feelings, that was the rule. Described in a book. Somewhere.

“I’m multi-talented,” Sebastian agreed, after a brief pause. “Also devastatingly handsome. Sometimes, god gives with both hands, as I’m sure you know.” He winked. Blaine ducked his head, grinning widely.

“You’re easy with compliments,” Blaine noted.

“I’m just easy,” Sebastian returned.

“That’s honest.”

“Well, it’s that or Puritanical notions about sex, and really, life’s too short and fucking too fun.” Sebastian contemplated Blaine, and decided things were going well, he might as well fire some shots and see what penetrated. As it were. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’d like to sleep with you before I die.”

Blaine glanced away, laughing. “Oh my god. You’re unbelievable.”

“It’s been said.”

“You know, before you die is a pretty big timeframe.”

“No, I think I might be dying right now,” Sebastian explained, hand against his chest. “I might just keel over. I have the worst blue balls, and as an honorary doctor, I can say that’s trouble.”

“You don’t need me to help you with that.” Blaine bit his lip, then added, “Self-medicate.”

He had just been alluded-told to jerk off by Blaine Anderson in a coffee shop, and it was so hot. This must be a named kink.

“No, I’m afraid I need someone else’s helping hand. It’s better with two.”

Blaine leaned back, chin raising, and there was a bit more of assistant manager-Blaine there.

“I’m sure you can have your pick of guys,” Blaine said. “I’ve seen you go home with more than one customer already, which by the way, is not very appropriate work behaviour.”

Sebastian had. A whole bunch of useless guys who didn’t wear sweater vests and couldn’t appreciate the drink-based puns Sebastian made at them. It was tragically unsatisfying.

“And you’ll fire me, I know. Don’t get jealous, tiger, they weren’t worth my time.” Then, sincere and soft in a way Sebastian never was: “Not when I can’t get you out of my head.”

Fuck. Where had that come from?

Blaine looked as stunned as Sebastian felt. “That’s --”

“Your body, as it is …”

“Sebastian …” Blaine’s eyes were wide, fixed on Sebastian’s face. Sebastian Smythe did not squirm, but if he did, this would be a good time to do it. Blaine took a deep breath, then rushed out, voice strangled. “Sebastian, it’s not a good idea to fall for your boss, you know that right?”

“Fall for?” Sebastian laughed in disbelief. What? “What?” What?

“I --”

“What?”

Seriously, what?

“You -- you are, right?” Blaine did squirm, shoulders shifting as he sank down in his seat. “If it was just sex, it wouldn’t matter this much, right?”

“Right?” Sebastian prayed Blaine heard the question mark at the end of that, because Blaine was not right. He couldn’t be. A summer fling was just sex with companionship thrown in. That wasn’t falling for someone, or it wouldn’t be over in the Fall. Duh. “No.”

“Okay, I’m sorry, but …”

“But nothing!” Sebastian straightened. “I am Sebastian Smythe. I don’t get crushes like a preteen girl with a trapper keeper. The only way you’re the man of my dreams is if you star in a dream of me fucking you.”

“That’s … very literal …” Blaine looked faint.

“Yeah, because I don’t do whimsy,” Sebastian got to his feet. “Whimsy is for people who cling to their childhood ideals. I am an adult. I am responsible.” He was suddenly furious, all over again, at his parents for trying to claim otherwise. He wouldn’t be in this mess if it weren’t for them and their whole birthing and raising nonsense. “I am Sebastian Smythe.”

“Why do you say it like that?” Blaine looked concerned, guilty. “Maybe you should sit down, okay, Sebastian Smythe? We can talk it out. I think you’re -- misunderstanding me, I didn’t mean to offend, and I don’t want this interfering with us at work …”

“It won’t,” Sebastian said, through gritted teeth. “Because that would imply this means more than it does. Which is nothing. It means nothing.”

“Nothing.” Blaine’s eyebrows drew together.

“So you know what? Since you’re getting crazy ideas, I’ll lay off.” Sebastian began to retreat. “No more flirting. You take it too seriously. Unlike me.”

Then he left the coffee shop, ignoring Blaine calling after him, the way several patrons edged their chairs away from him, and the girl he bumped into on the way out. His heart was pounding in his ears.

It was when he had stormed off three blocks for the drama of it and forgotten his car that Sebastian came to a disgusting, horrifying, astoundingly terrible realization. Blaine was right.

Well, shit.

Blaine nearly called him again last night. After all this time. Can you imagine that? Blaine can’t. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but in the harsh light of day it reveals itself as it is; an act of desperation and crippling insecurity, and Blaine can’t stop thinking about it. All day it has been there, that voice in the back of his head that just won’t shut up. It was there when he ate his breakfast, it was there on the train ride to work, it was there behind every note and melody he coaxed from the piano.

Blaine hates that voice.

These days Blaine manages to go long stretches of time without thinking about him at all. But sometimes, especially late at night when the fog rolls in and the bed feels too large, sometimes, Blaine imagines calling him up to say hi or running into him by chance. Depending on the weather, Blaine imagines him in silk shirts with short sleeves tightly cuffed around his biceps, or perhaps in one of his thick scarves and expensive gloves, or in cotton t-shirts and lounge pants sitting in the breakfast nook, looking up at Blaine from his cup of morning coffee. And then, then he remembers, and he feels foolish and rejected all over again.

Blaine doesn’t miss the exhausting drama of being a teenager, but he misses the simplicity of his problems. As an adult he looks back on his early high school heartbreaks with nostalgia, almost. Back then he could fix his aches with comfort food, good music and sad movies. Now, though, now he has to get up each morning and continue living, and paying bills, and cooking and cleaning his house and playing the piano for hours and hours even on days when all he wants to do is have someone hold him and tell him he’s worth something. It's not being young Blaine misses, he supposes, it's being taken care of.

Such a shame Blaine should feel so wretched on a day so beautiful. The brief period of respite from the fog is Blaine’s favorite time of the year, when the San Franciscans get to shed some of their layers and enjoy the famed California sun. It’s so nice out, in fact, Blaine makes the impulsive decision to get off the J train a stop before his usual, just so he can walk through Dolores Park and the enjoy the sun, even for a little while.  

He crosses the park, which is full to the brim, and walks the one block left to the house he shares with his best friends Sam and Tina. Blaine climbs up the steps leading up to the front door, balancing grocery bags on his hip while searching his messenger bag for his keys. Once inside, he trips over a pair of shoes and only just manages to avoid falling flat on his face.

“Dammit, Sam,’” he mutters and kicks Sam’s shoes under the shoe rack before toeing off his own loafers.  The TV is on, which means Sam and Tina are home but he bypasses the living room altogether to head straight to the kitchen to drop off his purchases.

There is a mountain of dirty dishes piled in the sink and the sight of them makes Blaine’s skin crawl. He stomps all the way to the living room and stands in front of the couch, blocking Sam and Tina’s view of the TV.

“What is that in the kitchen? Tina, you said you would do the dishes.”

“And I will, calm down.”

“That’s what you said last night. And while you’re at it, do you think you could clear the dining room table? Your rolls of fabric have been there a week now. And Sam, what are you doing?”

Sam points a finger to his own chest and frowns.

“Are you eating chips on the couch? The crumbs will get everywhere and we’ll get roaches.”

“Oh my god, dude, you need to get laid,” Sam says.

“Excuse me?” Blaine splutters.

Sam and Tina look at each other, having an entire conversation with just their faces and Blaine wonders when they got so good at that. Tina turns off the TV and sits up straighter, and a feeling of foreboding settles over Blaine. Whatever they’re going to say, he’s not going to like.

“You know we love you, right?” Tina says and Blaine nods absentmindedly. There has never been any question about that. “It’s just, you’ve been difficult to live with lately. We know these last few months have been rough for you, but you’re taking it out on us, it’s hard for us to see you like this, too.”

“Like what?” Blaine asks, and focuses on a spot over Tina’s face. He knows if he looks directly at her, chances are, he will cry.

“Defeated. Resigned.  It’s like he sucked the life out of you when he left. When was the last time you went out and had a good time with friends? Or god forbid went on a date, Blaine? I know you thought you and he-who shall-not-be-named would live happily ever after…”

“Tina, don’t call him that.”

“…but, you can’t mope forever,” she finishes.

“She’s right,” Sam says.

“I’m not moping around. I’m… adjusting.  I’m just taking my time. There’s no rush. When the right guy shows up, then he’ll show up. Ok?”

Sam and Tina share a look another conspirative look, which makes Blaine wonder how long they’ve been planning this conversation, if they’d sat together to go over what they’d say to him as soon as the opportunity arose.

“We’re going to need you to do better than that, Blaine,” Tina says. “You need to find someone by next month. Cindy’s wedding is next month and you cannot…”

“Cannot,” Sam parrots.

“…go stag to a wedding your ex-boyfriend is also attending. That’s, like, against the rules of breakups.”

A knot quickly forms deep in Blaine’s chest, stealing the breath out of him for a moment.  He’d completely forgotten about Cindy’s wedding and the potential encounter with the ex-boyfriend he hadn’t seen since the night he took the last of his belongings, four months ago.

“I’ll go with Sam, then.” Blaine’s laugh sounds forced, even to his own ears, but he plows on, “I mean, people mistake us as a couple all the time anyway.”

“Um, you know that if I were into guys, I’d totally want to do you, but I’m going with Penny.”

“And I’m going with Hunter so don’t even think about it,” Tina says.

“Guys, it’s just a friend’s wedding. Who cares if I go by myself?”

“It’s not just a wedding, Blaine. The douchebag who broke your heart is going to be there, and this is your chance to rub it in his face, that you don’t need him to be happy.”

Only one problem with that line of thought: Blaine isn’t sure that’s true. And the knowledge frustrates him to no end. Because he wants more than anything to feel and embrace the self-righteous anger he’s entitled to. He wants to curse him and rip photographs in half and sing angry songs in karaoke bars while half drunk and yet…

“Tina, for once could you stay out of my business?”

Sam’s eyes go wide and Tina freezes for a second before averting her gaze.

“I’m going to go do the dishes,” Tina says and Blaine instantly feels like crap. He drops into the space vacated by Tina, lets his head fall back against the cushions.

“You know she’s just looking out for you,” Sam says.

“I know. And I’ll apologize for snapping at her. I’m trying, Sam. Really. And I’m sorry if I’ve been a cranky roommate. One day you have the rest of your life neatly planned and the next… I’m still trying to figure out where I’m supposed to go next. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do after a big breakup?”

“Maybe. If you’re really not ready to date again just say the word and we’ll back off. But part of moving on is taking care of yourself and letting yourself be happy. And you know Tina feels guilty, since she was the one to introduce you two.”

“It’s not her fault.”

“Not yours, either. You’re spending so much time blaming yourself for what happened, and that’s not going to fix anything. Can you at least think about it?”

“I guess it would be nice if I didn’t have to show up to that wedding by myself,” Blaine concedes, after a beat.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Sam says, with a smile. “Let’s hug it out.”

[...] 

As night falls, Blaine tries not to dwell on the conversation with Sam and Tina, and focus instead on the pleasant roommate dinner they later shared, but the truth is always hard to hide from, especially in moments of quiet and solitude.

The nights are always the worse.

Lying in bed, he closes his eyes so as not to look around the room and focus on all the empty spots, or the knickknacks recently purchased to replace the ones that had been there before. The built in bookshelf that lines the wall opposite Blaine’s bed, half empty right now, had been a great selling point. There’d been no room for bookshelves in the impossibly small and narrow Nob Hill apartment they’d lived in before. And this? This was always more than just a house. It was supposed to be their home. Until there was no them. Just a him. Just Blaine.

 It’s been a long time since he was ‘just Blaine’.

Who even is that anymore?

But Sam and Tina are right; he can’t dwell in his heartbreaks forever. He’s much too young to give up on love. He’s not built that way anyway; he craves love than he craves anything else. And he misses the company, and dates and kissing. And sex, he misses that, too. Most of all, he’s tired of being lonely and guarded.

But Blaine knows, deep down, that no man could possibly fix the places where’s he’s cracked. It has to come from him. He does not know how to start.

  [...] 

The matter of Blaine dating is not brought up again until a few days later when Blaine comes home from work to find Sam and Tina sitting at the dining room table, large grins on their faces.

“Hi,” they both say, in perfect unison, which doesn’t do much to quell the anxiety building in Blaine’s stomach. Sam and Tina rarely agree on anything.

“What’s going on, guys?” Blaine asks.

“We have some news,” Tina says and then she shares a weird smile with Sam, and for a moment Blaine imagines the impossible.

“Please, don’t tell me you guys started sleeping together,” Blaine blurts. “I don’t think I could live with that.”

“No!” Sam says and scoots his chair away from Tina’s. “Dude, what’s wrong with you!”

“Hey! Rude much?” Tina says. “For the record, I wouldn’t go near a guy who doesn’t shower every day.”

“I totally shower every day! Tell her, Blaine.”

“Sam, I live with you,” she says.

“Okay!” Blaine claps his hands, once. “So, if you guys are not sleeping together, what’s the news?”

“Oh, I found you the perfect guy to take to Cindy’s wedding,” Tina says.

“No, I found you the perfect guy,” Sam says.

“Who? One of your dirty hipster friends who can’t do anything unless it’s ‘ironic’?” Tina says, complete with air quotes.  “Let me guess, some pretentious dickwad who draws a red line on a canvas and calls it art? Or someone who thinks they’re God’s gift to music because they make weird covers ‘girl songs’?”

“Actually, they make indie rock covers of hip hop songs,” Sam says.

“Umm, that sounds like it would probably be offensive,” Blaine says and rubs at his temples, trying to stave off the headache he knows is coming. “I’m going to need a drink for this,” Blaine says and heads to the kitchen for a beer. He can still hear them bickering back and forth in the background. From what he can gather, Tina’s chosen suitor is a former classmate from her days at FIDM.

“He’s a Leo, Blaine,” Tina calls out from the other room. “And he shares your love of 70’s glam. Don’t listen to Sam, he doesn’t know a thing about dating guys.”

Blaine gulps down half of his beer in one go and breathes deep, before heading back to join his friends. He loves them, they’re family. That doesn’t mean they can’t be exhausting sometimes.

“Guys, I appreciate what you’re doing, but said I would think about it.”

“Well, Blaine, we only have a month until the wedding, you have to work with us here. So, unless you want to slip into your tightest pair of skinny jeans and go clubbing in the Castro, where you’ll probably only land some creepy older guy with greasy hair and thing for bambi-eyed twinks with buns that look like they got baked to perfection by a master chef, you’re going to have to let us help you.”

“Whoa,” Sam says.

“Tina, I--- I don’t need your help, ok. I can find someone on my own,” Blaine says. “I’m just going to go shower. Order a pizza, will you? It’s on me.”

And with that Blaine turns his back on his friends and disappears into the upstairs.

[...]

Right out of college, armed with a glowing recommendation from one of his professors, Blaine landed a job as a pianist for the San Francisco Ballet. Five days a week Blaine sits in on rehearsals and classes and plays. At times it feels odd, being merely backup to someone else’s show, and it’s certainly not what he pictured himself doing, but it pays the bills and he really does love his job. He loves the grand studios with wall-to-wall glass windows that overlook Downtown San Francisco. He loves watching the dancers move in perfect synchronicity across the hardwood floors, barely making a sound. It is a privilege, getting to witness people who express and live their art with such obvious and rigorous physicality, who literally embody their art, in the purest sense of the word.

This morning, as every morning, Blaine makes his way to the grand rehearsal room where the company holds their morning warm up class. Class doesn’t start for another 10 minutes but the group of dancers already assembled around the room is quite large, and he waves at familiar faces. Blaine’s been working with the company for six months now, and he knows all of them by now. Which is why he notices that someone in particular has not showed up yet. He tries not to think too much about why that matters so much to him.

Blaine sits down at the piano in his little corner of the grand practice room and plays a few quick, scales; his own warm up routine.  By the time he’s done, the room has filled out even more and Madame Villanova, the ballet mistress, has already arrived. Blaine checks the time and watches the door, but it doesn’t open. Madame Villanova catches his eye from the other corner of the room, signaling to him that she’s about to start when the door opens and at last the missing dancer saunters in, long legs encased in tightest spandex, no hurry, despite the fact that he is terribly late.

“Nice of you to join us, Mr. Smythe,” Madame says.

“Oh, you know I could never deprive you of my presence, Madame.”

 “Find a spot, will you? You’ve already detained my class enough.”

Even after six months of knowing him, Blaine can’t make heads or tails out of Sebastian Smythe. He’s incredibly talented, if a bit spoiled. The year he finished training at the school he was offered a spot on the corps de ballet straight away, much to the envy of his classmates who were taken on as apprentices, or rejected altogether. Despite his undeniable talent, he’s terribly undisciplined. And from what Blaine has witnessed, is rather fond of pushing his teachers’ buttons. Well, he likes to push everyone’s buttons. Blaine has not been the exception to that particular skill of Sebastian’s.

Blaine looks over the room until finding Sebastian among the rows of dancers. Sebastian bites his lip in a smile and winks at him. A pair of curious dancers turn around and Blaine averts his face and busies himself with straightening the sheet music he doesn’t need any more after months on the job.

Madame gives the signal and begins running through the first exercise. “Down and up, stretch, little forward bend, up,” she says with a lilt, and folds her body forward, “and you go back, and lift again, and all the way down. Forward bend, second, again, two demi plies, grand plié, towards the barre, go through the front all the way, and relevé to finish.”  

Blaine counts to eight and begins playing. And so it goes, eight count after eight count, the exercises increasing in speed and physical demand, for an hour and fifteen minutes exactly, until Madame declares the class over and dismisses the company to the rest of their scheduled rehearsals.

For his part, Blaine lingers by the piano, organizing and reorganizing his sheet music inside his folder, before tucking the folder back into his messenger bag. When Sebastian approaches him, Blaine tells himself that wasn’t his goal all along.

“Is that a new polo?” Sebastian says. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in that one and I’d remember because…”

Sebastian blatantly stares at Blaine’s chest and Blaine fights the urge to cross his arms, even if there’s nothing he can do about the warm blush spreading across his features.

“Don’t you have a rehearsal to be going to?”

“Walk with me?”

Blaine rolls his eyes but agrees anyway. They turn right at the door, walking down the hallway toward the lobby where the day’s schedules are posted.

“So how did your audition go?” Blaine asks.

“Well, I don't want to get too overconfident but I’m feeling pretty good about it. In fact, I’m having a party this weekend to celebrate.”

“You’re having a celebratory party before you get news of the casting. Isn’t that bad luck?”

“I don’t believe in superstitions like that. Besides, this is my year. Mark my words, Blaine Anderson, this is the year I make soloist. My source in the board of trustees--” Sebastian says, and scans around for anyone who could be overhearing,

“Your mean your mom,” Blaine says and Sebastian rolls his eyes.

“Anyway, word on the street is the company commissioned an original piece from Wayne McGreggor. I have to be on that show, Blaine. And the only way that’s going to happen is if I make soloist this season.”

“And throwing a party is going to help with that?” Blaine deadpans.

“Well, it can’t hurt,” Sebastian smiles and scrunches up his nose, in that way that makes Blaine want to mimic him. “Speaking of, you should come over this weekend. Let loose for a while. I have feeling you know how to work that delectable body of yours,” Sebastian says, looking Blaine up and down.

Blaine’s heard the stories of Sebastian's parties. Everyone has heard of Sebastian’s parties. That coupled with way Sebastian is looking at him right now, openly lustful, makes Blaine freeze  and he blurts out first thing he can think of: “I can’t, I, uh, I have a date.”

Sebastian looks taken aback for a second before he recovers.

“Oh? Well, my loss then. Who’s the fortunate guy?”

“Uh… a friend of Sam’s--Tina’s. Actually he’s a mutual friend of Sam and Tina’s.”

Sebastian lifts his chin in a nod. They don’t say anything else the rest of the way until they arrive at the bulletin board in the lobby and then both busy themselves with scanning their respective schedules.

“Four hour rehearsals for The Nutcracker,” Sebastian says. “Fun. It’s not like I can’t do that routine in my sleep by now. I’m definitely going to need a coffee break after that. What do you say?”

Blaine hesitates for a second, scrambles to come up with a valid excuse. Sebastian must read it on his face, though because he’s quick to speak.

“Come on, Blaine, don’t turn me down twice in one day.”

“Ok, fine,” Blaine says after a few moments. “Meet me at Philz after your rehearsal. I’ll save you a seat.”

“Excellent,” Sebastian says, “I have to be going now. I’ve already pissed one teacher off today,” he says, and starts to walks backwards up the hallway they just came from. “And think about this weekend, you can always come over after you ditch your date. After parties are better, and I can go all night.”

“Sure you can,” Blaine calls out to him.

“Don’t forget to save me a seat, killer.”

Sebastian disappears into one of the studios and Blaine waves at the empty hallway.

Blaine has never been a liar, and doesn’t want to start now. Heart pounding hard and fast in his chest, he gets his phone out of his front pocket and types a message to Sam and Tina:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanksgiving weekend was not one Sebastian looked forward to. The rest of his classmates had plans to return home and see their families. A few like him who had no family dinner plans were even going on trips to Europe with friends. Sebastian was the only one left completely alone.

He thought about visiting his Mother in Paris but she called two days ago to let him know she was going on a wine tour with friends. His Father would be taking a plane to Chicago on the actual Thanksgiving day to retrieve a deposition he needed for his next case. Neither seemed too concerned about what Sebastian would be doing.

Not wanting to go back home to a empty house Sebastian opted to stay at Dalton. The school head master wasn't too thrilled at the idea but after a phone call from his father he relented. Though Sebastian had to promise there would be no parties or orgies on the campus.

At first Sebastian had been intrigued about being alone at school. To wander the empty halls and classrooms on his own. To have the entire library to himself. To have his pick of which common room he wanted to watch television in. To take extremely long showers. After awhile the effect had worn off. Sebastian who normally enjoyed being on his own found himself unsettled at Dalton. The school never felt this big before. The silence pushing down all around him.

The weather didn't help improve his mood either. It rain constantly and when it wasn't the overcast was dark grey clouds that sunlight could not push through. The air had a coldness that could seep past your skin and settle in your bones. The damp cold air caused mist to roll down from the blue mountains that surrounded the school.

On the Friday, the second day he'd been on his own, Sebastian had cloister himself away in the library. He settled at a large table on the top floor right in front the windows that looked out into the main courtyard. He planned to get ahead on his final essay for history. For hours his nose was firmly stuck in a book as he carefully took down notes. Later tonight he would start writing out his first draft. Not exactly the most exciting plans but Sebastian had nothing else to do with his time.

By late afternoon his mind needed a break. His eyes struggling to focus on every word. Not wanting to fight a losing battle Sebastian put down his pen and closed his books. He leaned against his chair to gaze out at the courtyard. The misty white fog had had now covered the entire campus. Sebastian could barely make out the statue of General Dalton that stood in the center. The trees right outside his window were the only objects he could see clearly. He sat there watching the wind blow and rattle the branches. Red and yellow leaves falling down in flurries. He tried not to think how the golden yellow of the leaves matched the shade of Blaine's hazel eyes.

Sebastian shook his head against the memories that invaded his mind. He had to stop thinking about Blaine. Or else he'd drive himself mad.

Sebastian's eyes moved away from the trees back out into the court yard. He blankly stared at the mist letting his mind drift. In that exact moment was when Sebastian noticed a dark figure out in the courtyard staring up at his window.

Sebastian jerked out his chair in surprise. His heart pounding in his chest. There was no possible away anyone should be on campus.

He stood up to stand closer to the window. His eyes searching to see if the figure was recognizable. Maybe a teacher or one of the students coming back early. However in the time that he blinked his eyes the figure was gone. Disappeared into the mist or perhaps not there to begin with.

Sebastian stood vigilant at the window for a few more minutes. When it became clear to him that his mind was playing tricks he gave up. Collapsing back into the chair Sebastian felt a overwhelming sense of exhaustion. His body and mind had been tense these past few weeks. Waiting in fear of being attacked the moment he let down his guard.

His limbs were too heavy to move. His mind going blank as if the fog outside had seeped in there as well. He closed his eyes briefly to let himself rest for a moment. He hadn't slept through the night in weeks. A few minutes was all he needed.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's walking down a dark hallway.

The flickering lights of candles not enough to burn away the darkness. He keeps moving forward. Every corner he takes leads him to the same dead end. He changes direction several times with the same results. Lost in a maze of hallways that don't seem to end.

A voice then calls out his name. Sebastian's feet trip over themselves in his eagerness to find the source. He tries to call out but his voice doesn't work. With no other choice he focuses on the voice hoping it will be the anchor he needs to stop drifting.

“Sebastian.”

Sebastian abruptly turns with how close the voice sounds directly behind him. Through the dim light he sees Blaine standing there. A haunting specter with his pale skin and dark eyes.

“I've been looking for you Sebastian,” Blaine's lips stretch out into a pleased smile.

“I was lost,” Sebastian's voice managed to get out.

Blaine appears suddenly beside him. His ice cold hands gripping Sebastian's arms tightly. The wall hitting Sebastian's back with enough force to startle the air out of his lungs. Sebastian blinks in surprise , his attempts at catching his breath hindered by Blaine pressing in close to him.

The blunt edge of teeth gliding down the soft skin of his neck.

“What do you want?” Sebastian asked dazed and breathless.

“Isn't it obvious?” Blaine's laughter puffs out warm breath across his skin.

“My blood,” Sebastian concludes hollowly.

“Not even close.” Blaine nips playfully at his skin, a warning of what was to come.

Sebastian wants to ask more questions. To demand Blaine give him answers he can understand. But his mind goes blank when Blaine leans up to capture his lips in a kiss. A hard and demanding kiss that didn't give Sebastian any choice but to relent to it. Hands moving slowly down his chest to rest on his hips with a gentle squeeze. Blaine leg sliding in between Sebastian's to keep them apart. Blaine leaves him wide open for the taking and for once Sebastian yearns for it.

Much to Sebastian's disappointment Blaine does pull back. Eyes flashing gold even in the dim light. Tongue swiping along his lower lip as if to chase the taste of him.

“Blaine,” Sebastian whispered desperately.

Blaine dips his head down again. The sharp points of his teeth digging into the skin of his neck, the pressure enough to taunt but not to breath through. Sebastian's fingernails dig into the wall behind him. Head tilted back to encourage the boy who has him pinned to a wall to take what he wants. The broken mantra of Blaine's name spilling from his lips.

“Everything,” Blaine whispers with a kiss pressed to his skin, “I want everything.”

Pain blooms across his neck. Everything around him goes black.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sebastian woke up with a start.

He was lying down on a leather couch with a woolen blanket draped over him. Across from him a fire crackled in the marble fireplace casting a soft orange light in the room. A quick scan of the room told him that he was in the senior commons, though he had no idea how he got here. The pitch blackness outside meant he had been here for awhile.

Sebastian slowly sat up trying to piece his memory together. The last thing he remember was studying in the library. At what point did he leave and end up here?

“I see that you're awake.”

Sebastian snapped his head to the side to see Blaine sitting in a nearby armchair. It had been weeks since he last physically seen Blaine and his heart surprisingly ached at the sight of him. His pale skin seeming to glow in the firelight. A small smile playing at his lips as he regarded Sebastian.

“How did you get in here?” Sebastian asked confused, “Why are you here?”

“I should be asking you the same thing,” Blaine mused. “Why are you at the school all alone?”

“Its the long weekend,” Sebastian tossed the blanket off him, “Everyone is spending it with their families.”

“Not you?”

Sebastian sent Blaine a glare that told him that was redundant question to ask.

“Sorry,” Blaine smile grew bit bigger, “I was simply curious.”

“My family isn't big on spending holidays together,” Sebastian shrugged.

“And that doesn't bother you?”

“No,” Sebastian said firmly wanting this line of questioning to end. “You still haven't answered me. Why are you here?”

“I was checking up on you,” Blaine said as if that was obvious.

“I didn't know vampires were known to show humans concern,” Sebastian said testily.

Blaine didn't reply but instead suddenly appeared at Sebastian side. His heart nearly leap out of his chest but he managed to cover up most of his shock. Having Blaine this close to him was hard to contend with. His mind flashing back to what he had been dreaming about. How perfectly their bodies had felt pressed together. The desperation to be closer nearly consuming him. Sebastian wasn't the type to be this affected by dreams but he found himself unable to meet Blaine's eyes.

“Only those who we deem worthy of our concern may receive it.”

Blaine then leaned into nip at the mark he had left on Sebastian's neck. A jolt of pleasure shot through him causing him to bite down on his lower lip to prevent himself from moaning. His hands clenching tightly on the top of his thighs.

“Why were you whispering my name Sebastian,” Blaine hot breath ghosted along his ear, “Were you dreaming of me?”

“I don't know,” Sebastian lied.

“What happened in the dream?”

“Nothing.”

Blaine chuckled in amusement but didn't press the issue. He pulled away to give Sebastian a small amount of space back. But a few scant inches did little to diminish Blaine's effect on him.

“Don't be nervous,” Blaine's fingers gently toyed with his hair, “I'm not going to hurt you.”

“Are you really a vampire? Because you seem too nice to be one.”

“I'm quite certain that I'am.”

“Oh really. How old are you then?”

“Roughly four hundred and fifty. Give or take a few years.”

“Four hundred and fifty?” Sebastian repeated back in alarm.

“Around there.”

Blaine's fingers had now moved from his hair to trace the moles dotted along his neck.

“How did it-” Sebastian shudder a bit when Blaine's thumb brushed along his mark. “How did it happen?”

“Its a long story,” Blaine said, “Are you certain you want to hear it?”

When Sebastian nodded in agreement Blaine stared at the log slowly burning in the fireplace.

“I won't bore you with details of my childhood. All you need to know was I came from a very prominent family in England. I was the second son and thus was often ignored in favor of my older brother.”

Cooper's image flashed in Sebastian's mind, his hypnotizing eyes and cruel smile.

“I was a quiet and obedient child who grew up into a dutiful adult. My parents expected that I would at least marry into a respectful family despite my...my condition.”

“You being gay?” Sebastian guessed.

“Yes,” Blaine smiled sadly, “Back then such dalliances were not tolerated. At the very best you could take on a male lover that had to be kept hidden.”

“Did you parents know?”

“I think they did. But they were never the type to speak on such matters.”

Sebastian had to almost laugh at how eerily similar it was to his own situation with his parents.

“My brother was the prized son. Good looking, smart, a natural born leader. I would have been jealous if I didn't love him more than anyone else. However one night Cooper went into town for a bit of fun and never came back. He simply vanished without a trace.”

Sebastian watched as a wave of memories washed over Blaine. Invoking a sadness in his bright eyes. A spike of guilt cut through him for asking about Blaine's past to begin with.

“The year after his disappearance was the hardest of my mortal life. My parents were devastated at their loss. To them it was as if they had been left childless.”

“Blaine,” his hand inched forward towards him without needing his command.

“Don't worry yourself. It was a long time ago.”

He thought Blaine would push him away but instead he took hold of Sebastian's hand. A reverent kiss pressed to the center of his palm. Cold fingers remained wrapped around his.

“I then came down with the sweating sickness,” Blaine continued. “I was on my death bed. Probably hours away from the fever claiming my life when Cooper appeared. Or what Cooper had become.”

“And then he made you into a vampire,” Sebastian concluded the story.

Blaine's fingers clutched his hand tighter.

After a moment of silence of them simply sitting together Sebastian finally spoke again.

“I don't know if I believe any of this,” He murmured almost to himself. “None of it seems real. My mind can't wrap around any of it.”

“I know,” Blaine soothed, his fingers touching Sebastian's cheek. “It will take time. But I promise you will understand.”

Sebastian closed his eyes as exhaustion came over him again.

“You need to sleep.” Blaine's hands firmly grabbed his arms and gently directed Sebastian to lie back down. He allowed it. There was probably no point in him putting up a fight. He stretched out across the couch, smiling a little when Blaine tucked the blanket around him.

“Are you going?” Sebastian asked with sleep threading through his voice.

“No,” Blaine pushed back errant strands of hair out of Sebastian's face, “I want to stay with you for longer.”

Sebastian hummed in approval. A strange warmth enveloping his body that had nothing to do with the blanket. It was a nice thought to have someone want to stay with him. Even if it would be for one night.

Seconds later Sebastian fell into the first restful sleep he had in weeks.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next night Sebastian ventured out of Dalton into west Lima where a local gay club was located. He didn't want to spend another night alone at Dalton. Especially if he might end up running into Blaine again. The boy had become a complete distraction for Sebastian. He couldn't stop thinking about him. No matter what he tried to do to forget about him Blaine managed to seep in his consciousness, refusing to allow Sebastian a moment of peace. His need to escape had become desperate. He figured a night of drinking and indulging in hollow sex would do just the trick.

The inside of Scandals was the same as it always was. The bare lighting revealed a sad collection of worn men. The air smelled rancid of beer and sweat. An air of desperation seemed to hang over the cramped space. Sebastian had often wondered why he kept finding himself coming back here. He probably could go to one of the more upscale clubs in Westerville. Or finally let one of his many admirers at Dalton into his bed. Yet he always found himself returning to this broken down building occupied by broken down men. Maybe it was the loneliness that permeated from them that was similar to his own. Or perhaps none of these men wanted nothing more from him than a quick fuck. Nor did they try to give Sebastian anything more in return.

In the first half hour Sebastian spent his time drinking. Normally he didn't need alcohol to help him pick out a conquest but tonight he did. His nerves were still shaky from seeing Blaine last night. After a few shots his world became out of focus. His fears and worries slowly disappeared under the warm haze of alcohol. He finally felt ready to search out tonight's distraction.

His eyes scanned the bar until he found him. A man in his early thirties dressed in a suit and tie, probably an accountant or low income lawyer in his real life. He was cute in a dull sort of way. Light brown hair neatly swept back. Soft brown eyes that seemed uncertain of where to look. He'd probably be more attractive if he exuded more confidence. He wasn't the kind of guy Sebastian would be dedicating any love ballads to, but he was good enough for tonight.

Sebastian sauntered over to the table. The sense of control that he had lost slowly returning. A thrill of power washing over him when the accountant stared up at him with eyes wide.

“Hey there,” He said smoothly. “You want to buy me a drink?”

!!!!!!!!!!!!

An hour later, and many shots in his system, Sebastian found himself in the back of the accountant's car in a secluded wooded area down the road.

If it were any other night Sebastian would have refused his offer. Sebastian had survived this long because he played it safe. He never gave anyone his number. He never took anyone back home. He never got in the back of a stranger's car. But tonight Sebastian wasn't thinking straight. All he cared about was the release he wanted, maybe even needed.

At the start it was fine. The two of them relocated themselves to the backseat of the car to make out. The accountant had no finesse but he made that up with large amounts of enthusiasm. Sebastian was finding himself not exactly consumed with passion but at least sufficiently satisfied. When he started to pull Sebastian's jeans down he thought he would get at the very least get a sloppy blow job to cap the night. Then the accountant unzipped his pants pulling out his own cock and lining it up to Sebastian's ass. He had a lot of plans for tonight but that was not one of them.

“What are you doing?” Sebastian glared up at him.

“My taxes,” The accountant rolled his eyes, “I'm going to fuck you obviously.”

Sebastian started to buck his hips not with wanton desire but to get the man off him. But he wouldn't budge. The weight on top of him and the awkward position in the cramped car making it impossible for Sebastian to get away. The man above him laughed cruelly at his struggles.

“Get the fuck off me,” Sebastian demanded.

“Just hold still,” the accountant demanded, “It won't hurt unless you-”

Sebastian never did get to hear the rest of his threat when the glass of the car window shattered. In quiet horror Sebastian watched as two hands reached in to grab the accountant by the shoulders tightly. His terrified screams ringing in Sebastian's ears as he tried to struggle away. The bugged eyed terror in the accountant's eyes as he was slowly being pulled back. His hands scratching and clawing down Sebastian's body to get hold onto something, anything to keep from leaving the car. All his attempts were futile because seconds later he was gone. Dragged through the broken window and into the night. His screams fading away until they were silenced.

Sebastian lay in the back of the car completely still. The sound of his heart pounding against his chest echoing in his ears. Eyes afraid to blink as he stared at the shattered window. He expected to see those hands come through again. This time to grab him. To drag him off into the night.

But nothing happened. Nothing but the silence of the night surrounding him.

Carefully, and with trembling hands, Sebastian pulled his jeans back up. His hands fumbled for several minutes to get his phone out of his pocket. His glanced over to the window then back to his phone. He wanted to call the police but he was afraid that it would call attention to whoever was out there. But he couldn't stay here waiting to be attacked either.

From the corner of his eye the shadows outside the window then shifted as a figure of a man appeared.

“Don't be afraid Sebastian. You can come out now.”

Sebastian didn't know whether to sigh in relief or scream at the sound of Blaine's voice. He did know that the threat to his life was no longer immediate. Blaine had yet to lie to him. If he said there was nothing for him to be afraid of he would have to take his word for it.

Gathering his wits together Sebastian opened the door of the car. Grimacing at the sounds of glass breaking under his feet when he stepped out. The secluded spot they were parked provided him no light in which to clearly see Blaine. All he could make out were the golden eyes glinting in the darkness.

“Blaine,” He breathed out as his body trembled, “What the fuck is going on?”

“You're safe,” Blaine's eerily calm voice responded.

Sebastian swallowed thickly not feeling remotely safe. He couldn't see Blaine and didn't know if his guard should be up. The knowledge of his vulnerability was overwhelming. If Blaine wanted to attack him there would be nothing he could do to stop it.

Cold fingers brushed along Sebastian's hand causing to stumble back in surprise.

“You're safe,” Blaine repeated, “No one is going to hurt you. Not anymore.”

“What did you do to him?” Sebastian demanded.

“He's gone,” Blaine's voice floated close to his side now.

“Did you kill him?” Sebastian asked bluntly.

“Does it matter? He was going to seriously hurt you Sebastian. If I did then he deserved it.”

“Just like that,” Sebastian let out a strained laugh, “You decide who lives and who dies?”

Blaine didn't answer but his body pressed in close to Sebastian's. His cold and solid form proving an odd comfort. His arm wrapping around Sebastian's waist for support. Sebastian hated how his instincts told him to curl into Blaine's embrace. To let go of the tension making his limbs rigid. He nearly did when the sweet scent of Blaine surrounded him.

“I don't go around killing humans for fun if that’s what you're asking,” Blaine's lips brushed against his ear. “I will fully admit to eliminating anything that is a threat to you.”

Sebastian nodded silently because what could you possibly say to that?

“Can I take you home?” Blaine's free hand swept down his back soothingly.

“No,” Sebastian shuddered at the thought of returning to an empty school. The idea of being alone right now was abhorrent. But there was no where else for him to go.

“Shall I take you back to my house?” Blaine offered politely.

“Okay,” Sebastian agreed much to his surprise.

Blaine turned to press a chaste kiss to his mark on the side of Sebastian's neck. A sense of knowing he was safe wrapped around Sebastian securely. The fear he felt moments before seemed to evaporate as they walked together into the night.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The drive about to Anderson Manor happened in a vague blur of dark shapes outside the car window Sebastian leaned into. Everything around him remained fuzzy and disjointed. His mind struggling to overcome the effects of the alcohol he drank earlier. It felt like he was half asleep and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't wake himself up.

When they arrived Sebastian noticed how different the manor looked. No signs of life made the house look abandoned. The windows were dark, no light shining brightly through them. The house seemed to loom over them threatening as they approached it.

Inside wasn't much better. Most of the lights were turned off. The white marble didn't give the impression of opulent wealth but the interior more suitable for a mausoleum. The silence certainly reminded Sebastian of a tomb, heavy and ever present.

The two walked through to the hall where the Halloween party had taken place. Where Sebastian had found himself surrounded by people sneered and laughed at his fear. Now the room was dark and silent. Sebastian allowed himself to feel relieved that no one else was here until he saw Cooper standing on the main staircase there waiting for them.

On instinct Sebastian halted his steps. Placing himself right behind Blaine. The last time he had seen this man he threatened to kill Sebastian in the most cruelest ways. The last thing he wanted was for them to cross paths again. He contemplated about leaving when he felt the familiar touch of Blaine's cold fingers on his hand.

“Don't be scared.” His thumb drawing slow circles along the thin bones of Sebastian's wrist, “I won't let him hurt you.”

Blaine then disappeared into the shadows only to seconds later crossed the distance to Cooper's side. Sebastian stood there silently watching the two talk. Even at this distance Sebastian could tell they were arguing. Their eyes constantly sliding over to where Sebastian stood. Mouths turned down in frowns as they spoke in low whispers. Eventually Sebastian assumed the two came at a impasse. Cooper gave Sebastian one last hard look, his blue eyes glinting in the darkness like a cat's, then he was gone.

“It's okay now,” Blaine whispered now back at his side.

“He didn't seem too happy,” Sebastian glanced down at Blaine.

Blaine pursed his lips together in thought. His hazel eyes not quite meeting his own. Never before did Sebastian long to see them in order to read what was on Blaine's mind.

“Cooper is controlling,” Blaine spoke the words slowly. “He doesn’t like people coming to his house unannounced.”

“I think there's more to it then my impromptu drop in,” Sebastian said.

“Maybe so,” Blaine sighed out. “But he promised no harm will come to you at his hand.”

“You trust him?” Sebastian asked skeptically.

“Yes,” Warm hazel eyes then lifted up to stare at him questioningly. “Do you trust me?”

Surprisingly, and against his better judgment, Sebastian did.

Blaine having seemed to read his mind and smiled gratefully. He reached out for Sebastian's hand. Intertwining their fingers in an unbreakable grasp. He then pulled Sebastian further into the house.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blaine's room was vastly different from the rest of the house. Smaller than he expected and containing the bare essentials of a bed, desk and a dresser. On the far right wall was covered with shelves of books. The color scheme was rich greens and wood paneling giving it a homey, lived in feel the rest of the house lacked. Not exactly what one would expect for the lair of a vampire.

Sebastian stood in the middle of the room gazing around not knowing what to do with himself.

“You can sit down Sebastian.”

Blaine's hand pressed into the small of his back guiding him towards a king size bed with evergreen covers.

“Do vampires sleep?” Sebastian asked when he lowered himself onto the bed.

“Yes,” Blaine sat down next to him. “During the day when the sun is up.”

“Does the sun kill you?” Sebastian turned his body towards him.

“No,” Blaine's fingers curled around the crook of his elbow, “We are not as strong during the day but it won't kill us.”

“What about turning into bats? Can you go on holy ground?”

“Why all the questions?”

“I would like to know more about you. Especially if you're going to be my vampire stalker.”

Blaine ducked his head down to hide the grin spreading across his lips. He gently tugged Sebastian's arm to pull him down to lie on the bed. The two stretched out lying parallel from each other. Each allowing themselves a moment to take in the other.

Sebastian found himself struck by how beautiful Blaine was. The boy's sweet and rounded features that made him seem incredibly young. The full lips slightly parted. The perfect and smooth alabaster skin. His hazel eyes with eyelashes sinfully long for a boy. Hard to believe that earlier in the night he had dragged a man screaming from a car ans possibly killed him.

“I wouldn't call myself a stalker,” Blaine admonished softly.

“Oh sorry,” Sebastian bit out sarcastically, “What would you prefer?”

“Admirer,” Blaine smiled. “What else do you want to know?”

“Truthfully? What do you want from me?”

“I want what you want,” Blaine cryptically responded.

“What does that mean?” Sebastian's eyes narrowed at him. “Why can't you ever give me a straight answer.”

Blaine crossed the distance between them. His body now pressed in close. One leg sliding in between Sebastian's. His hand reaching out to wrap around the base of his neck's. For the second time Sebastian found himself in a vulnerable position but he trusted Blaine not to take advantage of it. What did it say about him that he apparently trusted a vampire more than he did other men.

“We are mirror images you and I,” Blaine spoke, “Both of us longing to feel like we belong somewhere, or that we belong to someone.”

“Blaine, I-”

“I've been waiting for hundreds of years to find you. Someone who can remind me what it use to be like.”

“What do you mean?”

“To be human.”

Sebastian sucked in a deep breath. He didn't know what to say in response to such a declaration. Nor did he want to admit to Blaine that he understood what he meant about wanting to find someone who made you feel wanted, made you feel alive.

“I know you feel it too,” Blaine said determinedly, “What lies between us. What we could be.”

“Listen Blaine,” Sebastian said while trying to sort his thoughts, “To be honest I'm not completely sure what to make of you. Let alone understand what I feel about you.”

“I know of a way for you to understand,” Blaine immediately replied.

“How?”

“You can drink my blood.”

Sebastian didn't have time to to think over the implications of the offer before Blaine shifted his position on the bed. He sat up and leaned over Sebastian while bracing himself with one hand planted right beside Sebastian's head. Effectively trapping Sebastian underneath him. Sebastian stared up at the man who hovered over him. The hazel eyes had darken to a rich brown, the pupils blown wide. Sebastian couldn't tear his eyes away even if he wanted to.

“If there is something between us you'll understand it once you drink my blood.”

“And if there isn't?” Sebastian countered.

A flash of pain crossed over Blaine's perfect features but he quickly smoothed it away.

“Then I will leave you alone,” Blaine promised.

The thought of Blaine disappearing no longer tempted Sebastian the way it once did. He should be glad at the opportunity to finally be rid of him. To no longer wonder if he was lurking nearby in the shadows. The truth was the chance of Blaine leaving him effected him more than he thought.

Sebastian nodded in agreement, slowly he followed suit to sit up on the bed. Blaine momentarily moving to the side to give him space then back close to Sebastian's side nearly immediately. His hands carded through Sebastian's hair tenderly. His eyes flickering across each of his features. Sebastian never had anyone look at him in that way, as if Sebastian was going to disappear.

Blaine eyes finally rested on Sebastian's. Neither able to look away as Blaine raised up his arm. Sebastian catching a brief flash of sharp fangs. In morbid fascination he watched Blaine biting down on the skin of his wrist. Tiny rivers of deep red blood streaked down Blaine's arm, contrasting starkly against his pale white skin. Silently Blaine lifted his open wrist to Sebastian.

Sebastian hesitated for one second. His mind yelling at him to stop, but the deep ache inside was far more persisted and harder to ignore. Carefully Sebastian's hands held Blaine's hand and arm to raise it upwards to his lips.

At first he briefly touched the blood there. A quick taste more than anything. His tongue then swiped along the blood to get more. The blood tasted coppery and metallic as expected but there was an underlying sweetness Sebastian couldn't identify. But it awoken a craving inside him, a white hot flare that consumed his entire body.

Sebastian's grip on Blaine tightened as he now drank greedily from Blaine. He wanted to drink every drop. To take everything that Blaine would be willing to give him. He more than wanted it, he needed it.

“Sebastian,” Blaine moaned out his name. His hand twisted in Sebastian's hand tightly to hold him in place. Not that Sebastian was thinking about leaving anytime soon. He could stay this way with Blaine forever. The thought a along fuels the hunger the blood has awoken in him.

A sharp tug to his hair caused Sebastian's stomach to drop. He couldn't hold back the whimper when Blaine gently, but firmly pulled his arm away. The source of blood gone Sebastian panted in air that made his lungs burn. He had no idea he had gone for so long without breathing properly. Shortly his breathing evened out and the world came back to focus. His head spinning from what he had experienced. The taste of Blaine lingering on his tongue making him want more. He could feel the weight of Blaine's body settling on top of him. The cold press of fingers underneath his chin tilted his head up.

Black had completely swallowed up the hazel of Blaine's eyes. A blood red ring surrounding the iris. But what truly terrified Sebastian was the expression of inhibited hunger.

“Blaine-” Sebastian breathed out.

“Shhh,” Blaine shushed him, “I told you before that you're safe.”

The sharp fangs raked slowly over the skin of his neck. Sebastian groaned at the shot of pleasure down his spin, a shudder running through his body. Blaine's hand wrapping around his neck to keep him still.

“Please,” Sebastian tried to arch his body upwards. “Please. I need-”

“I know,” Blaine's voice whispers in his ear. “I know what you need. What you want. Let me give you everything Sebastian.”

The Dalton stairwell burst into cheers as Kurt accepted Blaine’s proposal. In a karmic slap in the face, Sebastian had ended up at the bottom of the stairs next to Blaine’s McKinley friends and Hummel’s father, which afforded him the perfect view of Hummel’s awestruck face as he listened to Blaine’s grandiose proposal. He clenched his jaw as Blaine surged forward to kiss his new fiancé and forced himself to applaud alongside everyone else. But as Blaine and Kurt started accepting well wishes from their friends, Sebastian was unable to take any more of the nauseating display, so ducked out of the stairwell. He let his feet steer him away from the celebration, the echoing noise dying down as he made his way down the deserted halls. He stopped in front of the library and, after only a moment’s hesitation, walked into the empty room. Sebastian slowly walked the perimeter of the room, remembering. He’d first heard the name Blaine Anderson in this room during his first Warbler rehearsal as the returning members had bemoaned the loss of their vaunted soloist, and it was then he’d first become fascinated with the idea of Blaine—of claiming a Warbler legend as a conquest on his way to the top of the group He’d first met Blaine in this room a month later when the prodigal son had returned to visit his old friends. Sebastian had immediately been drawn to the beautiful boy leaning against the doorway, whose clothes were painfully out of place but expression full of longing. And when they’d gotten coffee later, Sebastian came to realize that he genuinely liked Blaine, with his disarming sweetness and dry wit. He hadn’t known it then, but he’d been a lost cause by the end of that first day. Sebastian flopped down on the couch, melting back against the cushions and throwing an arm over his eyes. The last few days had been exhausting in so many ways. But, he supposed, that was the price of his actions—the steep cost of all the hurt he’d caused the boy he cared about. The sound of doors creaking open had Sebastian opening his eyes again. Then there was a soft huff and a familiar voice that made Sebastian’s insides twist. “I thought I might find you here.” Sebastian pulled the arm from his face and frowned up at the ceiling. The library was bathed in the pale light of dusk; it had been mid-afternoon when he’d fled from the celebration so he must’ve fallen asleep. He turned his head to see Blaine standing between the open library doors. He’d lost the mustard yellow jacket at some point so was slightly less blinding to look at. Sebastian sighed and sat up. “Shouldn’t you be with your fiancé?” he asked before belatedly adding, “Congratulations, by the way.” Blaine’s smile was small—smaller than it should’ve been after just getting engaged—as he crossed the room and sat down next to Sebastian on the couch. He put his hands in his lap and kept a respectable distance between them, but the air still felt charged, as it always did when they were together. “I’m meeting him at Breadstix in a little while,” Blaine replied, looking straight ahead. “Some of our friends are throwing a party.” Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “And you want me to come, smile at the happy couple?” But Blaine surprised him by shaking his head. “Some of the Warblers are coming, but no.” Sebastian wasn’t sure whether to be offended or relieved. “No?” Blaine shifted to look at Sebastian, his expression disgustingly understanding. Sebastian felt a sudden surge of anger at the thought. “I wouldn’t ask you to do that,” Blaine said. “Good,” Sebastian snapped, pushing himself to his feet. He felt a wave of satisfaction as Blaine’s expression morphed into one of surprise—and maybe a little hurt. “Because I think you’ve asked enough already, Killer.” “Sebastian—” But Sebastian suddenly couldn’t keep still; all the nervous energy he’d been channeling into helping Blaine set up his ridiculous proposal for the last several days had nowhere to go now. He had an itch just beneath his skin and a sour taste in his mouth as he paced the library, Blaine watching on. “He asked if it was you,” Blaine said suddenly. The odd affect to his voice made Sebastian pause. He turned back to Blaine with a frown. “What?” “When I confessed to cheating,” Blaine clarified with an unreadable look. “Kurt asked if it was with you. The first words out of his mouth, in fact.” Sebastian swallowed, wondering what Blaine was expecting him to take from that. Blaine had told him about the breakup a few months earlier after they’d reconnected and started rebuilding their friendship after his near miss returning to Dalton, but this was new information. Telling him now almost seemed cruel, but Blaine wasn’t that kind of person. Not on purpose, anyway. “Blaine,” he managed to choke out in response, only a little embarrassed at how pleading his voice sounded. “I think he always knew,” Blaine went on as though he hadn’t just blindsided Sebastian. “That there was something here. Between us.” “So why wasn’t it me?” It was something Sebastian had wondered since Blaine had told him the story after Sectionals, but he’d never been able to bring himself to ask. He wasn’t sure he actually wanted the answer. Blaine rose and took a few steps toward Sebastian. “Because there was something here,” he said. Sebastian noted the deliberate use of past tense, though it was belied by the look in Blaine’s eye. “And that—” Blaine bit his lips and glanced away. But when he looked up again, his expression was determined. “Because there was something here,” he repeated more firmly, “but nothing we might have done would have been about us.” That stung, as Sebastian remembered a night back in December when he’d coaxed a heartbroken Blaine back to Dalton for a movie night. Blaine had fallen asleep in the middle of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Sebastian remembered how struck he’d been by the trust that had implied. But Blaine had only come back to Dalton that night because Kurt had just canceled their Christmas plans and he was hurting. All roads led back to Hummel. Sebastian snorted. “Right.” “Sebastian—” “Don’t you have a party to get to?” Sebastian said, cutting Blaine off. He couldn’t bear to look at that stupidly earnest expression on Blaine’s face anymore. “It can wait. This is more important.” Sebastian scoffed. “Of course. The feelings of the guy who nearly blinded you are more important than your new fiancé.” He shook his head, lip curling up in a sneer. “I don’t need pity, least of all from you, Anderson.” Blaine recoiled, stricken. “It’s not pity,” he said quietly. “Go be with your fiancé, Blaine,” Sebastian replied, this time more gently. He fixed his gaze on the far wall, though he could feel Blaine’s eyes on him as the seconds stretched on. But finally Blaine took in a shuddering breath and walked past Sebastian, their shoulders brushing momentarily. Sebastian shut his eyes, waiting for him to leave. “Thank you, Bas. For all that you did. It means more than I can ever say.” Sebastian remained silent. Moments later the library doors shut again, echoing with finality.

-----

Two years later Sebastian looked up from his laptop at a knock at his door. He frowned, glancing at the clock—it was nearly midnight and he wasn’t expecting anyone. He saved his half-finished paper and shut his laptop before heading to the door. His eyes widened as he looked through the peephole; there was no way— But Blaine stood on the other side of the door when Sebastian pulled it open. He looked up and Sebastian inhaled sharply. He hadn’t seen Blaine since the day of the proposal, the resounding sound of library doors shutting stopping him every time he thought about calling. They’d exchanged texts and Facebook messages in the in between, but it was all very impersonal. He knew more about Blaine’s life from updates from former Warblers than from Blaine himself. A week earlier, Sebastian had received a save-the-date for the Anderson-Hummel wedding, which was set for the winter, addressed to his New York apartment in Blaine’s familiar scrawl. He’d tossed it in the trash with a pang. “Blaine,” Sebastian greeted belatedly, once he was sure he wasn’t seeing things. Blaine let out a ragged breath before saying, “It’s over. The wedding’s off.” His voice was hoarse, either from yelling or—judging from the red of his eyes—crying. “What?” Sebastian asked dumbly, not sure he’d heard correctly. Blaine opened his mouth but Sebastian shook his head as the situation really registered and stepped aside. “The hallway’s probably not the best place for this conversation, Killer.” Blaine swallowed and nodded, stepping inside the apartment. Sebastian shut the door then turned around to see Blaine standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room of Sebastian’s one bedroom apartment. He was looking everywhere but Sebastian at the moment, so Sebastian took the opportunity to study him. His clothes were unkempt, as though he’d thrown something on in a hurry. He had some flyaway curls poking out from his gel and circles under his eyes. He looked tired. And sick. “What happened?” Sebastian asked finally, wondering what had brought Blaine here, of all places, after apparently breaking off his engagement. He had other, much closer friends in the city. Yet here he was. “The wedding’s off,” Blaine repeated, looking up. “Yes, I got that much.” For a moment, Blaine just stared at Sebastian. Then he rolled his eyes and Sebastian let out a relieved breath at the first remotely Blaine expression since his arrival. Sebastian didn’t do well with upset people—he’d often been the one causing upset in the past, after all—or feelings in general. But Blaine was, and probably always would be, his exception, no matter how long they went without seeing each other. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Blaine said, a strange look crossing his face. “Then what—” But Sebastian was interrupted by Blaine surging forward to kiss him. Sebastian’s hands instinctively went to Blaine’s hips as Blaine pressed up to deepen the kiss. His surprise quickly wearing off, Sebastian bit down lightly on Blaine’s lip before soothing it over with his tongue. Blaine moaned into his mouth, and Sebastian shuddered before reaching down to grab Blaine’s ass. He was quickly getting hard as Blaine’s breath hitched and he started pulling at the bottom of Sebastian’s t-shirt. It took everything Sebastian had in the moment to pull back—to pull back from what he’d wanted for so damn long—to look at Blaine, with his kiss swollen lips and dark pupils. “What?” Blaine asked, slightly breathless. “Are you sure?” Sebastian asked. There were so many ways this could be a terrible idea... “Yes,” Blaine said emphatically before pulling Sebastian in for another kiss. But Sebastian was no stranger to terrible ideas. And he also knew a thing or two about trying to forget, about fucking away the pain, so he raised his arms so Blaine could pull his shirt over his head before groping for the half-done buttons on Blaine’s shirt. He kissed down Blaine’s neck to suck just below his ear. Blaine inhaled sharply, and Sebastian smirked into his skin as he finished unbuttoning the shirt and slid it off Blaine’s shoulders. “Bedroom,” he murmured into Blaine’s ear. Blaine shuddered and allowed himself to be walked backward through the living room into the bedroom, hands sliding up and down the bare skin of Sebastian’s sides and teasing just below the waistband of his sweatpants. Sebastian made quick work of Blaine’s belt, and Blaine was shucking his jeans and briefs as Sebastian crowded him back against the bed. Blaine lay back on the bed and scooted back, legs falling open in invitation, his cock hard. Sebastian swallowed hard before pulling off his sweats before crawling onto the bed, moving to kiss Blaine again. Sebastian was tracing the skin of Blaine’s stomach with a finger when he realized that Blaine was trembling. He pulled away to look at Blaine—gorgeous Blaine, more beautiful than anyone had any right to be and there with him. If Blaine wanted to forget, then Sebastian would make him forget, at least for a few hours. “Hey,” he said, “I got you.” “Sebastian—” “Just you and me right here, Blaine. Nothing else.” He laid his hand flat on Blaine’s stomach. “No one else.” Blaine’s Adam’s apple bobbed as hurt and what might have even been a little fear flashed across his face, but then his expression softened and he nodded. “Just you and me,” he agreed, relaxing. Sebastian’s breath caught at the absolute trust Blaine was clearly putting in him, then took Blaine in hand. Blaine’s eyes fluttered shut. “I got you,” Sebastian repeated.

----