#sdv confessions

this is a FLAMING hot take, but I think the fandomwide Clint hate is ridiculous and way too strong.

the main anti-Clint argument I see made is his crush on Emily. “Oh, he’s such a creep, he’s in love with her, he hides in a bush and stalks her” NO!!! This is WRONG!

Firstly, people think he’s weird because he likes Emily who is assumed to be younger than him because she is dateable. She wasn’t originally dateable, and in a fandom vote, her and Shane were chosen to become love interests. Guesses of her age generally place her in her late twenties, and Clint in his early thirties. That’s perfectly normal.

Second, his heart event where he’s hiding in a bush: he didn’t start out hiding, he freaked out! He was on his way to ask Emily out, got to her doorstep, and then PANICKED and dove into the bushes. He’s not a stalker, he’s clearly got severe anxiety and got nervous. It’s a common trope in movies, tv shows, books, and other forms of media that a character will panic and hide when their crush approaches. My theory for the main reason it’s seen as creepy when Clint does it is because he’s a dude, which changes the thought from “aw she’s nervous to ask him out” to “look at that creepy guy hiding in a bush” without taking into account the context.

Third, people hate on him for being awkward around Emily in general. He stutters, gets nervous, and backs out of asking her out multiple times. Again, this is perfectly normal, but viewed as problematic because of the societal norm that men are supposed to be brave, strong, and ask out the girl.

I see so many people hating on the unsent letter to Emily in his room as well. But from my standpoint, it’s not super uncommon to write something to a crush and be too nervous to send it. It’s understandable, and quite frankly I don’t know why people hate on it so much. The letter isn’t even creepy.

People dog on Clint as well because he always backs out of asking out Emily, but there are a couple reasons this is—both in-universe and not:

First, Clint has severe social anxiety and practically no friends— Emily is pretty much the only person to put in the effort to talk to him. He’s scared to ruin this relationship as he doesn’t have anyone else to lean on.

Truly, though, Clint never actually asks Emily because, as a community, we voted to make Emily a dateable. ConcernedApe was forced to make Emily single for the community, and unfortunately because of this Clint’s actions come off as creepy.

Also, as frustrating as it is, it’s important to mention that Clint is a larger, heavier set man, and there is a lot of internalized fatphobia in the majority of people (even those who don’t realize).

This was a horribly long post, and thank you so much for anyone who read it fully. Id love to hear other peoples opinions as well, both pro- and anti-Clint, so please feel free to share!

Sebastian: Just rip the bandage off.

Sam: It’s Farmer(Y/N)

Abigail has a lot of some kind of arcane magic, Emily has some sort of gem or dream based mer-magic, Caroline has some plant based magic.

This headcanon also works with characters like Shane, who has purple tones in his hair. How does one breed blue chickens? Magic. And Seb, who also has purples/blues as his undertone, has a lot of knowledge about things like slimes and the mines.

Stardew Valley bachelor height headcannons

Warnings! My opinion. Little bit suggestive but nr.

Pairing: SDV Sam x Fem!Reader

Summary: Inspired by @doggobrie, you and your husband, Sam, are at the Stardrop Saloon on a Friday night. You know Sam—you know he can’t keep his hands to himself. And there’s so many people around, too…

Warnings: 18+….MDNI….[p-i-v] [grinding] [fingering] [exhibition kink] [unprotected s_x] [pierced dick] [slight dom]

It was a crisp, cool, Friday night in the Valley. Saloon night, in fact. Practically everyone from town was there, laughing and chatting and gulping spirits and chowing down on greasy food. Sam didn’t drink too often. In fact, he tried not to. But seeing how rowdy the Saloon scene was getting, he downed a few shots. He watched as Abigail pounded the controls on an arcade game and Sebastian lazily practiced his shots at the pool table. After grabbing a fresh glass of some random drink, he returned to you, his wife, on the beat-up old sofa next to the arcade machines. He looked at the nearly drained glass of strawberry wine cradled in your fingers, smirking to himself a little. You’d never been drunk together before. “Is it good, baby?” “Yeah, mostly because it’s made from my strawberries.” You grin, and Sam can’t help but glance at your red-stained lips.

Oh shit. Shit shit shit shit. A surge of hot blood rushed to the pierced tip of his cock, precum threatening to drip at any given moment. Yoba, you were gorgeous. If he kissed you, he knew he’d taste sweet strawberries. He just loved you so much. “Sam? You good, man?” Sebastian’s voice broke his trance and Sam stopped ogling at you. “Yeah…yeah, I’m fine.” He tipped his shot back, alcohol seeming to wake him up. You lean across him, reaching for the empty glasses piling on the side table. Your tits threatened to spill out of your tight, low-cut top, and it was all Samson could do not to groan as his erection strained against his fly. Sebastian crossed the room, opening a nearby window to smoke. Flicking his black lighter, he cocked an eyebrow at his best friend’s flushed face. It was almost like he knew.

“Ugh, Yoba!” Abigail’s exasperated screech reverberated through the room, causing a few heads at the bar to turn. “Why does the arcade version of Journey of the Prairie King have to be so damn hard!?” She grumbled in defeat and plopped down on the couch next to you. Her eyes were red, presumably from the weed she and Sebastian had tried shortly before arriving at the bar. Sam was sweating, trying not to stare at his wife’s perfect ass as she rose to bring Emily the empty glasses. Swallowing, he glanced around nervously, attempting to ignore the nearly painful tent n his pants. “So…” Abigail started, and Sam jumped. “How’s married life?”

“I’m enjoying it. I really am.” The alcohol was starting to make his head feel all fuzzy. The two of them watched as you chatted with Emily, your giggles making Sam want you more. “I’m sure you are,” Abigail responded, quickly flicking her eyes downwards. “I’d be feeling the same way if I were you. She’s got some big tits. No wonder you’re h—”

“Heyyyyy, Sammy!” you drawled, drunk out of your mind. “I brought you some pizza…swirls? Rolls? Whatever these are.” You thrust the plate of pure deliciousness at him and he gracefully accepts it, happy for the distraction. Abi rises to her feet, whispering in your ear on her way back to the Prairie King console: “Take good care of him tonight. He wants you big time.” That statement brings a coil to your tummy and a sudden wetness between your thighs. Sam’s already eaten most of the pizza rolls when you approach him after recovering. You grab the plate out of his hands, earning a grunt of disapproval. “Baby, I was eating that…” “You’ll be eating something else tonight too.” You grin at him evilly. Sebastian glances at Sam, watching his friend squirm with anticipation. He rolls his eyes and exhales smoke into the night air. You straddle your husband’s lap and begin running your hands through his hair. Sam’s drooling cock twitches with the slightest brush of your cunt against it, almost unbearable.

It reminded him of when the two of you first started dating. Nights at the Saloon were spent with coy hand-holding and sloppy kisses before it led to sneaking into his bedroom. He couldn’t stop his hips from pounding up into you from below, the headboard of his bed hitting the wall despite his parents and little brother being in the house. He liked that they could hear your sweet moans. The way the bed squeaked made his cock so impossibly hard for you. The delicious sound of your soaking-wet cunt gripping and milking his cock with wet bounces made him want to cum in his pants at the memory. Sebastian would talk to him the day after, sharing a smoke outside Robin’s house. His best friend’s merciless teasing made it hard not to wish that emo could watch him fuck you raw one day.

You could tell Sam was daydreaming, and you kissed his neck softly. “Wanna go home? The bed’s waiting.” You whisper to him, your fingers caressing his feathery, soft curls. “No.”

“Huh?”

Sam grips your hips tightly. “I don’t want to go home. I want to fuck you right now.”

“Samson…in public?”

Even at the word, his tip throbbed with lust and excitement. He had been longing to do this. How many nights had he spent jerking his cock mercilessly to the thought of you sprawled out on the pool table or even riding him on that stupid old sofa while everyone watched?

Several. “Fuck yeah. You’re being such a tease, how can I not want you?”

Sam leans forward and crashes his lips to yours, letting his tongue swirl in and out of your mouth. The combination of his lip and tongue piercings feels so good you can’t help but grip his shoulders. Breaking the kiss, he slips a hand up your skirt, thumb pressing against the wet fabric of your panties. “Yoba, you’re so fucking wet. Wearing that cute little top I like? You’re just begging me to play with your tits, aren’t you?”

He grabs one of them with his free hand, then slides your panties to the side. His long, calloused fingers slide between your folds in an almost unbearable tease before he slips two of them into your entrance, earning a whimper in return. The cold metal of his rings makes you even wetter, and you buck your hips, desperate for relief. His fingers curl forward, pressing against that sensitive, spongy spot you longed for him to touch. “Sam…we really shouldn’t…” you whisper, gasping when he jerks his fingers out then jams them right back in.

Sam’s hips start to move of their own accord. “Damn these jeans,” he mumbles, removing his hand from your tit so he can pop the button and rip his fly down. His navy-blue boxers are dark with a patch of precum. “Sam? What the hell…?” “Be quiet for me, sweetheart. Unless you want people to watch how much of a good girl you are while you’re riding my cock?” He strokes his length through his boxers before pushing them down. His cock bounces free, and he nearly groans at the relief. There’s already a bead of precum glistening at his tip, and Yoba, if that damn piercing didn’t make you want his cock in you more than ever. Sam removes his hand from your skirt, leaning back in for a sloppy kiss.

“Now, just sit up a little f’ me…I’m glad you wore this cute little skirt. Easy access.” Sam grins and guides your hips upwards as he slowly, slowly, slides his tip inside. The metal adorning it felt so good against your walls. “Ah, fuck…” He leans his head back against the back of the sofa, eyes closed in ecstasy. “How are you so tight?” All you can do is bite your lip to keep from moaning at the stretch of his cock in the swollen ring of your cunt. He eases you down on his cock, bit by bit, til you can feel yourself resting on his balls. “You like that baby? You like how my cock’s stretching you out?” “Yeah…yeah I do.” Yoba, it felt like Sebastian’s eyes were glued on the two of you. And the very thought made Sam’s dick throb deep inside you, earning a whimper in return. He wanted his best friend to watch. “Now, be a good girl for me, baby. Bounce on my cock, yeah? I wanna show everybody that you’re mine.”

Hands gripping the back of the sofa, you ignore his directions. Your cunt is so slick with your own arousal it makes you want to finish already. “Don’t be nervous, baby.” Sam whispers, rubbing your back. “You know I like it fast and hard.” Swallowing, you start bouncing up and down, your husband’s strong hands gripping and guiding you. “Ahhh, fuck yeah. Just like that.” He dares to sneak a glance at Sebastian, who actually is watching. Shit—even Abigail’s stopped her game and her eyes seemed to be glued to your chest. And it turns him on to no end.

“Please, Sam…I’m so close already.” Your chest is smushed against his, and you finally begin to moan, not caring anymore. His pierced cock is just so thick that it’s nearly impossible to hold back. Sam’s breathing heavily, groaning at each slam of your perfect body against his. His balls feel so fucking heavy, begging to spill into the angel on his lap. “You’re such a good—mmm—girl f’ me. You like it when they watch?” “Nnngh…yeah…” Your cunt sinks down on him with satisfying plaps and that stupid old sofa is squeaking loudly. Just like at home. “Sammy, I’m so close. Faster, please.” That damn nickname makes him nearly growl at you, eyes heavy-lidded with lust. “Let me help you out, then.” He grabs your hips tightly, and begins thrusting his hips at a startlingly quick pace. “Fuck! Yes, Sammy, please…”

Oh fuck, there’s Kent. And…Lewis? Even Jodi? The sight makes you grab the lapels of your husband’s denim jacket and tilt your head back in absolute pleasure. “Sam…Sammy, they’re looking…” He doesn’t stop, just keeps pounding your tight little cunt and hitting that special spot so deep inside. “Good. Let ‘em see how my beautiful angel of a wife loves riding my cock. ‘S okay.” The look on his face is so smug you just don’t;t care about what’s happening around you. He’s just so fucking hot. The alcohol from earlier sure isn’t helping, filling both of you with inhuman confidence. “Oh Yoba, yessss…I’m gonna—” Sam goes even faster, his pierced tip abusing your g-spot. He’s close to his own release, groaning and biting his lip as he feels your tight cunt sliding up and down. “Nnngh, Sammy—!” Your walls quiver around him, and Sam dares to look at Sebastian, who is clearly staring now, smoke break long forgotten. Fuck. “Ahh!” You rest your head against his chest as you cum all over him, your juices soaking the bottom of his t-shirt. “Baby…ohh yeah. That was so fucking hot. Yoba—” Sam braves a glance at the watchers of the scene, all looking, all eyes on both of you. That’s what sends him over the edge, spilling hot cum deep into your cunt. “Mmmmmm…take my cum. All of it.” Your thighs squeeze against him, making his still-sensitive cock twitch. He sees a couple of faces looking at the both of you over from the bar and tables, presumably because of the increasingly loud moans. Alex, Haley, oh shit…Shane?

Sam lifts your hips up, mesmerized as he pulls out his cock soaked in both of your releases. His own seed drips from your pussy, and damn it if his cock doesn’t get hard again. He quickly pulls his boxers and jeans back on, picking you up suddenly in a bridal-style carry. “I’m ready to go home now, sweetheart. Now that the town knows what I do to you, we can really be rough back at home.” He’s smirking down at you, green eyes half-lidded. “Sounds good to me.” You say, pressing a blazing-hot kiss against his neck.

Sam, you take my wretched, cold heart and make it oh so warm🥹