#scott michael

okay so honestly i just want to rant right now so you all know that guy that i started to have a crush on right?of course you do well he and i talked and he told me he didnt feel the same and that we were just bestfriends and i was 100% okay with that like no big deal. so now he has this beautiful girlfriend and shes such a sweetie and they look so cute together and im so so so happy for him and ive started to get over him anyways so i dont really care anymore. well ive been in a really bad place lately with my grandmother dying and seeing my dad cry and my parents almost breaking up and the fact that im a fat whale and i hate myself anyways okay so ive been cutting myself pretty bad, yeah whatever dont give me shit for it, my legs look like someone scribbled on them with a red colored pencil and my arm is pretty torn up too. so the other night i texted him because i legit wanted to die and i was scared of myself and he replied to me when i first texted him but after i told him what was wrong he ignored me like who the fuck does that? a girl who is supposed to be your bestfriend is confessing to you that shes cutting herself and that shes scared of herself and you ignore her? thats not a real friend and thats why im so done with him. he just doesnt give a shit and i need better friends than that. so needless to say i cut more that night cause i had no one to lean on and ive just been getting worse ever since. ive never been able to trust people and i dont talk about my cutting to anyone and the first fucking person i leaned on and pretty much begged for help ignored me so im back to hiding and not telling anyone whats happening so fuck you and im done bye

it honestly kills me to not be friends with you i love you to pieces but i just got sick of being ignored youre not a good friend to me and thats that

im so happy to still be your bestfriend. im so happy that things didnt become awkward between is when i said i liked you. but i realized something today.. i dont just like you. im falling for you, hard. and everyday i see your blue eyes i fall even harder. i wanna hold your hand while we walk to class. i want to kiss you under the mistletoe. i wanna tell you how perfect you are every day. i want to be your new years kiss. i want to be your valentine. i want to be your date to homecoming, winter carnival and prom. i want to spend my summers with you. i want to talk on the phone all night. i want to comfort you when you have a bad day. i want to cry on your shoulder and let you cry on mine. i want to cuddle and watch scary movies. i want to be yours, all yours. and i want you to be mine, all mine. i know you dont feel the same but if you ever need someone, you always have me. as your bestfriend, or more. i love you, batma-n.