#scommy

Sometimes, remembering is both a curse and a blessing.

For the young woman, however, with the situation that she has gone through, it falls to the category of a curse. A curse without even its magical properties. Well, only memories haunt her of everything she wanted to forget. That was its properties. Endlessly screwing her mind from time to time, making her cringe and cover her face as if it was something shameful she did. When it truth, she merely wanted them to stop playing in her head.

"It's my brain. I know how to control this..." Those were the usual words that would leave her lips whenever flashes of unpleasant images come poking through her mind--in the most unexpected circumstances. Sometimes those words won't even leave her mouth, they were just being uttered silently inside her brain. However, loud enough for her to efficiently take note that she can do it--vanquish all that is not needed to be there at that moment. 

But these days, memories of the person she wanted to eradicate from her mind, incessantly appear in her mind--as if he was still around. Whilst sitting quietly on her bed, one moment later, she suddenly was on her feet--throwing, kicking and hitting on things--out of unknown rage. Ever since that time she saw Scott being happy where he was, instead of being with her, she tried to suppress that upsetting feeling inside of her. Thinking that she wouldn't want to stoop down to his level. He used her. Well, that's what she knows anyway. That's what her reason is trying to make her understand. The thought of him using her was the most rational thing to put the things that had happened between them. For the reason that at most parts--she was still confused at what they really have.

Did he really care for her? Was she only caring about what she was feeling? Or they are just both looking out for themselves, and not looking out for each other. 

So those feelings she might be having in regards to those questions, were definitely poured over the defenseless things she possesses. No, there weren't tears coming out her eyes. They were about to fall, but then, they were just being stubborn, like their source. 

She wouldn't want to let her tears fall for someone who would always forget her. And now that he's nowhere... she's still the one remembering him, when Tamsyn was definitely sure, he has no clue of whatever happened to them...or what they were actually together, before. 

Here again she stands outside the facility where Scott is being held. A prison or a patient? The young woman isn't sure anymore. Since for her Scott is a prisoner there even if she knew he full-heartedly chose to stay there. Why does he have to do that? He's being so selfish. Or is she being selfish as well? To be honest, it's very hard to determine now. What's more, she doesn't even know so well now of the deal between them. Have them falter apart? Faltering to the extent of not caring of the feelings they bear for each other? It's still a mystery. However, them being together somehow has been the biggest mystery ever. Also, how slightly attached she became towards Scott. Whenever she remembers his face, with that happy smile on it--it hurts her. It hurts her because how come he shared that smile to her, but then in the end would just end up fading away--because he was being self-righteous. 

She hated him for doing that. But again, she cannot feel any hate to anyone fully. Bitter maybe. However, she wouldn't admit that because of her top notch pride. As she was standing there, those thoughts kept on haunting her mind. She wanted to visit, but then, he will end up pushing her away...Like what he did last time. She's actually feeling so tired with it already. If only Scott knew that. But he won't know about it. Maybe this time he will.

However, as if with some force that had urge her, she then looked up and from there...she saw Scott. Then suddenly a girl. He looked so happy. As contrast to her that looked so concern and worse of all? Heartbroken. Jealous. Envious. She should be that one doing that to Scott... Not that woman, whoever she is that with him there right now. Her eyes then lingered for a while. Maybe it was fate that made it, Scott then caught her gaze. Of course, it was natural for him to be dumbfounded and for Tammy to wear a death glare directed to him. At that moment, the big urge of tears to fall down from her eyes is accumulating inside her chest. But no....she refuses to cry. He's merely some guy... She can find another. Too bad for him, he lost his chance. No. No more second chances. He hurt her, and she's absolute...So no more smiles to each other if ever he comes out. 

The cut was too deep. She can't breathe. It's hard to breathe. She wanted to cry. But she cannot let her tears fall for someone who isn't worthy of it. They can... not...fall. But too late, they fell. As she was walking out of the facility, she can't stop the tears now. It has been so long since the last time she cried like this. She hated it. She felt as if she has lost all her control. Still, she cannot breath. Her breaths become so uneven now. Palpitation. Hyperventilation. She needed a brown bag...She needed to care for herself more, than this silly feeling that was merely thrown away by someone she poured some of her precious feeling on.

Few more steps, she was hearing shouts. Then the next thing she knew, she was inside the facility. Scott, sitting across her bed. Instead of a smile, she gave him a glare--refusing to utter any word. But after a while, she can't help it.

"I need to get out of here. I don't belong here..." Tammy demanded in a low authoritative voice.

"No. You can't. You need to rest." Scott pointed in a calm and concerned manner. It was even laced with a lot of guilt because he knew very well that he was the cause and what happened to Tammy--is the result. 

ERAMMY SONG OF ALL TIME: INSIDE OF YOU - THE MAINE 

TARABELLE SONG OF ALL TIME: MAPS - YEAH YEAH YEAHS

FINLIAM SONG OF ALL TIME: YOUR ENGLISH IS GOOD  - TOKYO POLICE CLUB

BRYSYN SONG OF ALL TIME: TAKE ME OUT - FRANZ FERDINAND

TARKY SONG OF ALL TIME: SERENADE - FRANZ SCHUBERT 

ARIBELLE SONG OF ALL TIME: IN THE ROOM WHERE YOU SLEEP - DEAD MAN'S BONES

TARBONY SONG OF ALL TIME: WHEN WE FIRST MET - HELLOGOODBYE

BRYMON SONG OF ALL TIME: LIKE WE DID (WHEN WE WERE YOUNG) - THE MAINE

Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met...) - Panic! At The Disco

Song for Erammy:

Armistice - Phoenix

Song for Brysyn: 

Can't Stop Feeling - Franz Ferdinand

Song for Scommy: 

Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs 

Song for Brymon:

Like We Did (When We Were Young) - The Maine

Song of JoSephine (I shouldn't have brought this up):