#sci fics

Well, he could open the door and check and maybe make them leave, whoever this intruder might be. But he doesn’t feel like facing anybody right now, safe talking to them! Hasn’t been for days, if he is honest with himself. He’s been feeling quite miserable. Without a real reason to. And since university wouldn’t start for another few days, he had allowed himself to just … bath in his foul mood until then. Deal with accommodating to a new place and continent step by step. With minimal contact to the outside world.

His eyes fall on the various cartons of take out, plastered over the small kitchen counter. He had to start stapling them, and he must admit – it’s starting to look quite artistic.

The ringing has stopped. Which would be a relief. Hadn’t it been interchanged with loud hammering against the door. Zhan Yao lets out a groan.

“Xiao Yao!! Open the door! I know you are there!”

Zhan Yao freezes at the sound of the way too familiar voice.

But it can’t be! Shoots through his head. By all means, why on earth would Bai Qingtang stand on the other side of his door?!

Despite his doubts, his body is already moving towards the door. It’s like he’s on autopilot. When Bai Qingtang orders you follow. He has learned that early on.

The door swings open and sure enough there she is. Standing there looking unpleased, by her side two identical but unfamiliar faces glaring down at him.

“Hello da-jie, I, eh, wasn’t expecting you?” He starts weakly, but she’s already rushing past him, her two goliats by her side. Zhan Yao lets out a sigh and closes the door.

“Xiao Yao.”

The uncharacteristically sweet tone takes him by surprise. When he looks at her, he sees her two bodyguards having been miracled away and lets out a small sigh. For a moment he relaxes a bit. Until he notices Qingtang’s scrutinizing look on him.

And what kind of image he must make! Worn in and slouchy clothes, uncombed hair, bags under his eyes from all those restless nights. The blue shine only underlining the haunted and tired look in his eyes. He crosses his arms in front of his chest, defensively, as if that could help hiding anything of it.

“Ehm. Why exactly are you here, da-jie? And how did you even know where I live?”

“Finding out had been a bit of a challenge, since you didn’t tell anybody your new address.” She gives him a poignant look and making Zhan Yao flinch. “But”, she shrugs, voice all nonchalant again as she looks around the room, “you know I’ve got my ways.”

Zhan Yao hums in response. Of course.

“And I’m here to check in on you.”

Zhan Yao looks up at that, surprised. He meets her eyes and regrets it immediately. Her view is sharp, an icy fire burning within her eyes and he knows, if he’s not careful enough, he may not survive this encounter.

“Have you been sleeping, Xiao Yao?”

He doesn’t want to answer this.

“When has been the last time you ate anything that wasn’t take out?”

And he doesn’t want to answer that one either (he’s not even sure he could answer it).

“Have you been talking to anybody in the past few days?”

He wants to answer as she adds. “Someone who isn’t a delivery person.”

Zhan Yao closes his mouth again.

Qingtang scoffs. He couldn’t really blame her for it.

“Have you talked at least to your parents since you’ve been here?”

He nods. The first question he can answer. Even if it stings. He still feels uneasy thinking about his last encounter with his parents and-

“When was the last time since you’ve talked to my brother?”

It’s like a lightning bolt just struck him. Zhan Yao is frozen in shock. His mind in panic mode.

She didn’t even mention his name, for fucks sake. And still he –

“Have you talked to Yutong at all since you came here?”

He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t need to it seems. She already knows the answer.Zhan Yao screws his eyes shut, praying for Qingtang to just – disappear. Be gone. To make this all a bad dream, only he would have to deal with.

He’d been ignoring that whole Bai Yutong situation – successfully, too! For weeks! Until she appeared out of nowhere, forcing him to remember and he can’t, he can’t do that right now!

He had believed time would make it easier. Make it easier to deal with the pain. Fill up the hole inside him, that got left open as he boarded the flight to the USA. That time would make him able to forget those tear filled eyes glaring at him. Forget the shouted words, spit out in anger and despair. Make him able to forget the silence afterwards. But it didn’t. He still can see it clear as day. And it hurts. It hurts so badly… It hurts so badly he can’t breathe.

“Idiots!” Qingtang curses underneath her breath. He can’t make out the words after that, but he’s sure about it being curses.

“Sit down.” It’s not a question. Zhan Yao follows.

Qingtang doesn’t sit down, though. She remains on her spot in front of the couch, looking down at Zhan Yao, eyes stern.

“Listen, you know I love you both dearly. And you are entitled to ruining your own lives as much as you like. But as the big sister, it’s also my duty to tell you, when you are idiots. And Xiao Yao”, she stops, waiting for him to look up and somehow he knows it and follows. Her eyes are almost warm. It’s a strange look on her.

“Right now? You are both idiots!”

Zhan Yao breaks the eye contact and looks down at his intertwined fingers instead. He lets out a shaky breath. He knows it. Has known it all along. But he still thought… Well…

“How. How is he doing?” He asks quietly.

Qingtang scoffs. “Yutong? He’s pretty miserable! Which you would know if you would still talk to him!”

Zhan Yao winces at that.

“I thought-“, he lets out a shivery sigh, searching for the right words. “I thought it would be easier like this. For both of us.”

“So? Tell me. Is it easy?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No! It’s not! I feel like I’ve died now that he’s gone!” Zhan Yao blinks, surprised by his own outburst.

To his even bigger surprise Qingtang smiles.

“Ah! There it is! Who would have figured, mh? And although it was you, who left!” She leans in. “But you know what? Neither of you is dead!” She pats his cheek.

With that she straightens up again and calls for her terror twins, who appear out of nowhere at both of her sides.

“Fix this! Call him.”

He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know what to say.

“Call him, Xiao Yao. He’ll answer. To you. He’ll always answer to you. You know that.” She looks at him expectantly. After what feels like forever he sighs.

“Okay.”

A small nod and she already twirls around, ready to leave, only for to stop one last time at the door. She pulls out some dollar bills from her purse and puts them on the desk by the door.

“And get some sleep and a decent meal, okay? Bye!”

~~~~~

Sorry, no actual Bai Yutong in this one! But it simply screamed for Qingtang! :D And since we are in the perfect-fanfiction-world Zhan Yao gets his act together and calls up Bai Yutong. They make up and have a wonderful long distance relationship, until Zhan Yao transfers back home and they are reunited. They live together happily and nobody is sad. The End ♥

He throws his hands forward, meeting Bai Yutong’s chest halfway, keeping him up. His muscles strain under the unused weight, but he doesn’t back down. With a quick motion, he rearranges his hands; keeping one on the chest and letting the other grip onto Bai Yutong’s biceps, hoping to gain more control over him. He leans heavily against him, as if Zhan Yao is the only thing keeping him upright at this very moment.

Which is probably true, he realizes.

And Bai Yutong is close. Too close.

So close he can feel his muscles move underneath the thin shirt, can feel Bai Yutong’s warmth hot underneath his hands, his energy surrounding him…

“Bai Yutong?” His voice is of a grotesque calmness, even to his own ears. Showing no sign of the whirlpool of emotion swirling within Zhan Yao. He’s quiet grateful for that ability of his, no matter how irritating it may be.

“Bai Yutong”, he tries again, as the man in his arms, doesn’t react. “Look at me.”

He’s trying to catch a glimpse of Bai Yutong’s face. Trying to get him to meet his eyes, so he can assess the situation better. Correctly. And to decide on further procedure.

So, he repeats himself putting some more force into his voice. “Look at me, Bai Yutong.”

And Bai Yutong follows.

His eyes are glazed over, as they meet Zhan Yao’s.

On the bridge of unfocused, he thinks. But open, anyway.

He allows himself to feel the bit of relief, that wants to take over him, lets it cloud his concentration for a mere second.

“Okay”, Zhan Yao continues, snapping back into focus. “Do you hurt? Anywhere?”

Bai Yutong leans heavy against him, causing Zhan Yao to struggle keeping him upright. He can feel the strain in his own muscles, the tension within him. The worry, a solid coldness spreading in his stomach towards his chest. But he can’t waste his attention on this right now. He has to stay focused, so he forces himself to ignore it all, only looking out for Bai Yutong right now.

“Does anything hurt, Bai Yutong?” He asks once more, hands still grabbing tightly onto Bai Yutong.

“Yep.”

“Where?”

Bai Yutong half heartly gestures over his body, swaying a bit in Zhan Yao’s grip and in answer leans deeper into his arms.

“Kind of everywhere?”

Great, just great, Zhan Yao thinks. His mind is running down an imaginary list of possible medical situations and the correct response.

“Especially my head”, Bai Yutong mumbles into the crook of Zhan Yao’s neck. The air tickling his skin, sending a warm shiver down his spine.

“I think my head?” Bai Yutong adds weakly.

Zhan Yao swallows hard, fighting hard to keep from shaking away the shiver taking over his body.

“I thought so”, he adds, not trying to keep out the dry humour from his voice. “You’ve hit it rather thoroughly earlier.”

A concussion, probably, Zhan Yao thinks, moving his head back to see more of Bai Yutong’s face.

A few little cuts on his forehead, some bruises forming at his arms. What’s hidden underneath the shirt and pants, Zhan Yao could only guess…But there are no big bleeding wounds, which would require his attention first, so he’ll concentrate on the head, first.

“Ah, that explains that”, Bai Yutong sighs at Zhan Yao’s words, letting his eyes fall shut once more.

“Ey!” Zhan Yao quips. “Don’t fall asleep on me!” A quick rattle at his shoulder and Bai Yutong’s eyes are snapping back open, confused look and all.

“I just wanted to close them for a second. The pounding in my head is horrible!”

“No.” Zhan Yao barks out at Bai Yutong’s whining. “You probably have a concussion. Before we’ve got you checked, sleeping is too dangerous!”

Bai Yutong looks up at him, eyes blinking rapidly, as if trying to gain back focus – or if to make sense out of his words.

Zhan Yao continues, voice still annoyed, but softer than before. “You know that. Come on.”

Zhan Yao dives his head underneath Bai Yutong’s arm, pulling it over his own shoulder. His muscles ache under the shift of weight, but he ignores it, holding closer onto his hand thrown over his own shoulder. Bai Yutong slots against him, leaving no space for air between them and it takes him a second to steady the both of them. All while violently ignoring how close Bai Yutong leans against him, even closer than before.

“Talk to me.” Zhan Yao demands, while his eyes search the room for an exit. As much in order to try keeping Bai Yutong awake with the prompt, as it is to distract himself from what’s right there underneath his fingertips and what it does to his calm demeanour. And to distract him from the thought of what he had almost lost tonight. Whom he could have lost.

Zhan Yao stills for a second.

Still could lose, he thinks.

He glances over, relieved as he sees Bai Yutong’s eyes still open.

“What should I talk about, mh?” Bai Yutong’s grin is weak but it’s there and right now that’s enough.

Zhan Yao lets his eyes wander through the room, trying to decide on which door they had to take to get out of this godforsaken house.

“Maybe how you would get us out.”

That at least gains him a soft laugh. “Really? You are the brain! Your words! I bet you remember the whole blue print!”

Zhan Yao allows himself a small smile. Bai Yutong is not wrong. But still.

“But what if not? Maybe I didn’t pay attention?”

Another weak laugh escapes Bai Yutong and shakes his body. Somehow, he weighs even heavier in Zhan Yao’s arms.

“Maybe you didn’t.” A weird sound of sadness, almost, swings with his words, that Zhan Yao can’t quiet place. But there were more important things at hand right now.

“Lets go”, Zhan Yao tightens his grip on Bai Yutong, finally having decided on a door and pulls him along with him as they make their way through the labyrinth of the basement, they’ve been caught in. It doesn’t take too long. He remembers the way through the halls.

While they walk, he makes Bai Yutong talk, probing for easy answers to frivolous things he has already forgotten by the time they make it out.

He would have thought with every step towards outside he would feel lighter, more relaxed. But in reality, he grows even more worried. With every instance of Bai Yutong taking a beat too long to answer, his stomach revolts. Mind flushing with all the things that could go wrong, possible medical complications Bai Yutong may enter, if they didn’t get him checked out soon.

He can barely recall how they got out or how they found the others and got to the hospital. Now, hours later, he finally stands in front of his apartment. He’s got his arm around Bai Yutong, still not trusting the other man’s capability of staying on his own two feet. Despite him acting much more awake, his face now being more flushed instead of white like it did earlier. Despite that, he still can’t bring himself to let go off him. He had ignored Bai Yutong’s teasing about it, his insisting on helping him. An on taking Bai Yutong to his own place tonight.

“The doctors said, you shouldn’t be on your own tonight. It’s either this or the hospital. Besides, you still have some clothes at my place. I really don’t get your fuzz about it.”

It’s just logic. Yet somehow it sounded off – even to his own ears. He blames it on the stressful night they’ve had so far.

And then there was Bai Yutong staring at him, sitting on a hospital chair, bandages all over him. Every blotch of white on Bai Yutong’s skin was making Zhan Yao feel uneasy in his stomach. Bai Yutong’s eyes were wide and blinking slowly up at him and Zhan Yao didn’t know why his chest tightened from one moment to another. All he knew was that he didn’t want to let go.

And now, only an hour later, they are standing in front of his apartment and the tightness is still there, rooted deep within his chest, making it hard for him to breath freely. His fingertips prickle, where they hold onto Bai Yutong’s side, and for the first time tonight, he wonders if he should have gotten himself checked at the hospital as well.He pushes away the thought and pushes open the door, letting them both in. His arm is slung still firmly around Bai Yutong’s side.

“I can take it from here, Zhan Yao”, Bai Yutong begins, moving underneath his grip. “Really.”

His pupils are still blown, eyes still a bit glazed, but not as bad as when he first found him hours ago. But Zhan Yao doesn’t want to let go.

“Okay”, Zhan Yao sighs in defeat.

“Eh, Zhan Yao? You need to let go off me. You know. For me to walk?”

Zhan Yao blinks twice, looking down at where he still holds tightly onto Bai Yutong’s side.“Right.”

“Still haven’t let go.”

“Sit down”, Zhan Yao says instead, ignoring Bai Yutong’s protest and pulls him along to the couch. To his surprise Bai Yutong follows reluctantly. Once on the couch, Zhan Yao has no reason to hold onto him anymore and finally lets got off Bai Yutong, once again ignoring the prickling feeling in his fingers.

He lets go off Bai Yutong. Taking back his hands from where he had held him for the past hours, except for the time at the hospital. It feels wrong. Letting go. They sit like this for another moment, neither of them moving. Zhan Yao keeps his hands closely by his side, concentrating hard on not moving out again. Not letting them reach out once more, reclaiming their former places on Bai Yutong.

“Are you hungry?”

Bai Yutong’s eyes land on his face. He’s got a small frown growing, disbelief setting in.

“I doubt you have anything edible in this whole apartment, Zhan Yao.”

“I may have some of the leftover from your last cooking-”, Zhan Yao shrugs, but Bai Yutong wouldn’t let him finish.

“Zhan Yao. That was 4 days ago!”“So?”

Bai Yutong lets out an exasperated smile, mumbling something about Zhan Yao and dying and food poisoning, but Zhan Yao doesn’t completely catch it, instead he watches as Bai Yutong sinks back into the cushions of the couch, shaking his head in what appears to be disbelief.

He looks tired, Zhan Yao thinks.

And there it is again, the tightness fighting itself back into his attention.

“I could order something?”

“Not bad. But I really want to sleep.”

“You should stay awake for at least an hour”, Zhan Yao reminds him, checking his watch for the time.

Zhan Yao stops breathing for a moment.

 Bai Yutong.

Something inside him settles.

Zhan Yao just looks at him, calmness spreads through him. It’s all good now.

He could pinpoint the exact moment where Bai Yutong recognizes him. Can see it in the shift of his eyes, how they widen just so slightly, can see it in the slight change of posture.

Bai Yutong quickly looks away, checking the room, eyes running through the small space before jumping right back to him.

“I’m alone”, Zhan Yao reassures him.“He wouldn’t trust anyone coming in here to talk to me”, he adds as Bai Yutong dashes forward to him, putting away his gun and instead letting his hands run up and down over Zhan Yao’s arms and face once he reaches him.

“Are you hurt?” Bai Yutong’s voice sounds firm enough, but Zhan Yao can hear the worry underneath. He offers him a small smile and shakes his head.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay.” Bai Yutong retreats his hand from where it had laid around Zhan Yao’s neck and proceeds to kneel down next to him and busy himself with the chains, which are still binding Zhan Yao to the chair.

“Lets get you out of here.”

-

Zhan Yao lets out a deep sigh. His mind won’t let him rest.He leans back against the sofa, fingers absentmindedly running over the battered skin around his wrist, where the chains had cut in. Behind him, he can hear clattering from the kitchen, where Bai Yutong is busying himself. Zhan Yao takes another deep breath and lets the comforting sound sooth his upset mind.

His thoughts wander back to the rescue. The look on Bai Yutong’s face. The calmness settling inside himself, when he saw the familiar face.And further back.Memories of a not too long ago hold conversation flood in. Qingtang’s words echo through his head.

 “Xiao Yao, there is no length my brother wouldn’t go for you. Know your power. Talk to him.”

He had put the thought away for so long. Had tried to ignore it and just file it away as one of her eccentric outros but then again…

“Stop picking at the scab. You’ll only make yourself bleed again.”

Bai Yutong’s scolding wakes Zhan Yao up from his thoughts. Surprised by it, he turns around and looks at Bai Yutong, who casually leans against the door frame, eyes on him, a tender smile around his lips. The tender gaze only deepens as their eyes meet.

Okay, Zhao Yao thinks.

“Bai Yutong?”

The man hums in reply.

“Thank you.” Zhan Yao says and watches his face closely, searching for anything, really.

He’s usually so good at reading people – it’s his profession after all – but with Bai Yutong it sometimes is like he can’t see all. He can read Bai Yutong better than most people, that’s for sure. But ever so often if feels like there’s still a last layer hidden and out of his reach. It’s irritating, to say the least.

“Thank you for helping me. For being there.” He says again.

Bai Yutong’s eyes widen just so slightly, before he slips back into the easy grin.

“It’s okay.”

“Why do you do this?”

“What?” Bai Yutong blinks, confusion visible. But Zhan Yao doesn’t let it stop him.

“Why do you always jump right in there, once I’m concerned. Even if it means great danger for yourself?” Zhan Yao has gotten up as he talks and takes a step towards Bai Yutong. He holds Bai Yutong’s gaze as he steps closer.

Bai Yutong respectively straightens up from the door frame, but doesn’t move any further. Neither back, nor forth.

“Why is it, whenever I stumble, I only have to look around to find you standing there to help me stabilize? Why is that?”

The smile leaves Bai Yutong’s face, replaced by a solemn expression. “Don’t you want me to be there?”

“That’s not the point.”

“Okay. Good.” He can see him relax at that. But he still lacks answers.

“This is about the why. Your reason.” Zhan Yao comes to a stop in front of Bai Yutong. Close enough to touch, but he doesn’t.“So?”

Bai Yutong doesn’t look away, simply holds his gaze, a calmness emitting from it, Zhan Yao is honestly surprised to find there.

“My reason?”

Zhan Yao nods, holding his breath.

“Zhan Yao”, Bai Yutong slowly shakes his head, a lopsided grin around his mouth.“Kitten, I’m yours in every way you’ll have me.”

Zhan Yao doesn’t know what to say.What does he mean by that, now? Is he implying…?No, he doesn’t need possibilities or what ifs, he needs answers.

He presses forward. “What do you mean?”

Bai Yutong only sighs. “Look, you don’t have to-“

“Just answer the question”, Zhan Yao interrupts him. Then softer. “Please.”

“Then tell, kitten, what’s the question?” Bai Yutong replies, without missing a beat, sad smile still on his face.

Zhan Yao studies him. He can’t shake the feeling that this will be the turning point.Whatever direction they may take in the future, this would settle it.He thinks for a moment.

“You are mine? In every way I want?”

“Yes.”

“How about when I need a partner at the SCI?”

“Yes.”

“When I need somebody to bail me out of dangerous situations?”

“Always.”

“When I need help to find the line?”

“Right by your side.”

Zhan Yao nods. Those are the easy ones.

“What if I need somebody to cook for me and make sure I don’t get myself killed via food poisoning?”

That at least draws out a little huff from Bai Yutong. “Of course.”

“What if I need you in my house, my home, my life?”

“You already have me.”

“What if I want it to be more… permanently.” Zhan Yao prepares himself to make the jump, now or never. “What if I want you to be my partner in more than work sense?”

Bai Yutong doesn’t react, just waits for him continue. It’s nerve wrecking, him being quiet. Zhan Yao swallows hard. He knows what he’s got to do, after all.

“What if”, he starts. “What if I want you to be my boyfriend?”

For a moment they just stare at each other. He awaits Bai Yutong’s answer, holding the gaze. Until Bai Yutong breaks the contact, closing his eyes. Zhan Yao’s chest tightens. “Kitten, I hope you know what you are asking here”, Bai Yutong breathes out.

But Zhan Yao doesn’t budge. “I am. I think I’ve fallen in love with you and-“

His confession gets cut short by Bai Yutong stepping forward and pulling him into a firm hug. Then his lips are covered; Bai Yutong presses his mouth against his in a desperate kiss. Zhan Yao lets him take the lead and just – melts against him, drinking in the warmth emitting from Bai Yutong, the strength of his arms wrapped firmly around him.

Eventually Bai Yutong breaks away, leaning his forehead against Zhan Yao’s. His eyes are still closed as he whispers against Zhan Yao’s lips. “Please tell me, I read this right, kitten.”

Zhan Yao leans in, pressing a kiss of his own to Bai Yutong’s lips. “Yes.”

“Yes”, he repeats with emphasis. “I want you right here.”