#school shenanigans

i got sent to the wrong room (i was in a different room for access arrangements)

someone set off the fire alarm right at the start so everyone had to stop

a giant spider crawled across my neck and onto my arm and i had to get an invigilator to flick it off

i almost misspelled "this" as "shit"

i needed to pee about halfway through the 2hr exam

someone set off the fire alarm AGAIN

i had the song dead gay son from heathers stuck in my head the whole time

“You’re all mature teenagers. You don’t need me telling you that you shouldn’t fuck with homeless people.”

“I don’t feel like fighting a homeless man today so don’t try anything.” ”You’re all responsible for your friends. One of you goes missing and the rest of you are getting kidnapped with then.” ”It’s a performance. Don’t be disrespectful. Don’t try and be Timothee Chalamet or I will punch someone.”

“Youve all been on the subway. You know what it’s like and I don’t want to treat you like babies.” “For the last time, I am not going to give you a propeller hat and a lollipop if you do something good. Buy it yourself.”

“If one of you brings your phones I will post an embarrassing selfie of myself on Instagram.”

“Don’t try and go home. I will find you and drag you back to school.”

“For the last time. If you’re gonna buy crack from a homeless man don’t do it in front of me.”

student 1: look out! there's a bee in the room! student 2: it's a fucking wasp you idiot! and it looks angry! wasp: *buzzing around, crashes into a ceiling fan at full speed, possibly dies, and lands on one of my friends* my friend: *yelling unintelligibly, manages to shake off the wasp* the class: *descends into pure chaos* the wasp, causer of said chaos: *apparently not dead, sticks to the bag* me, to some of my male friends: you all project so much bravado, so go on and take the wasp out! said friends: *yelling just to increase the chaos and also from fear* me: oh for god's sake me: *takes the bag with the wasp outside, shakes the bag to shoo the wasp off, runs back inside because it's very angry now* my class: *very surprised, hails me as the wasp whisperer*

keep in mind we're all fourteen years old stuck in a room without adult supervision here

girl one: “god, when the mandalorian took off his helmet??”

girl two: “ik right, Pedro pascal is SO hot”

science teacher (a middle aged, bald, white dude with a wife and kids): “get in line, sister, he’s mine”

We had a bonus 'question' on a test to draw a troubadour (musician basically) wooing a classy lady and I took that as an invitation.

HORRIBLY RUSHED I FEAR...

@darkmuffinstudios - Radio

@galacii-gallery - Shattered