#schocken

You must surely have noticed, whenever we see each other again after a longish time we're disappointed, irritated, until we get used to the irritation. Then we have to put up a front of words, so that our yawns won't be noticed. The fear creeps over me that you won't understand this whole letter- what's its aim? Without flourishes and veils and warts: When we talk together we're hampered by things we want to say and cannot say just like that, so we bring them out in such a way that we misunderstand even ignore, even laugh at each other. (I say: The honey is sweet, but I talk so low or so stupidly or inadequately, and you say: Nice weather today. The conversation has already taken a wrong turn.) Since we are always trying and always without success, we become tired, dissatisfied, stiff-jawed.