#scatty

Tl;dr I learned to stop telling myself off for acting the way God made me.

For at least 20 years, I've been self-critical of my own work habits. Unlike some people I know, I don't have consistent concentration. My concentration depends on the task and on a strange thinking rhythm I have.

Even for tasks I love, like writing or preparing sermons, I'll have bursts of productivity and then times of being "distracted".

This doesn't change my output that much. I haven't missed a work deadline (but I did used to miss meetings before I nailed my reminder system). I always got my work done but it was in fits and starts.

I was told by at least one church leader that consistent, long hours productivity was responsible. I read books that talked about getting rid of distractions.

But distractions have helped me. During my PhD, I'd regularly go browse random journals in my field that weren't related to my research. My senior supervisor said I was unusual in my ability to look for connections, while others just concentrated on their own small research problems. Every book I've written has included time reading books that had nothing to do with my topic.

After a recent coaching session as part of a leadership course, I realised something. I'd been telling myself off for being like me. If God made me this way, I have no right to be self-critical

So now, instead of getting frustrated at being distracted, I ask what kind of distraction it is. Is this a natural brain rhythm? Am I avoiding a task? Is there an emotional reason why I'm distracted? Is this distraction helping me, hurting me or neutral? Is there a better distraction I could choose?

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