I need some advice.
Growing up, I found men to be ugly and woman to be the most beautiful people in the world. I dated men because it was what I saw in media all the time, and it was what my friends normalized. When I finally dated women, I was bullied, and blah blah blah. I know, pretty normal stuff. I've always identified as bisexual, since I like both men and women, though for very different reasons. Women I idolize for their beauty and charm, but I fear their judgment and rejection. Men I like for their laidback attitude and approachability, but I find myself wanting something more.
I've acclimated to find men attractive alongside women, though still to a lesser extent. I have a male-presenting partner (who is nonbinary, but still goes by either he/him or they/them) who I love very much, I've never felt more comfortable and accepted by anyone in my entire life. But much like many times throughout my life, I can't help but wonder if I couldn't find this same happiness with a woman... which deep down, I feel like is what I really want. I just have a hard time believing I'll find a better match for me, and I'm scared to start fresh, especially in my adulthood.
I don't know what to do. Whether I should just stick with the great relationship I have, or attempt to pursue my dreams. I'm very happy with my partner, I just... kind of want to be with a woman.
