“Freddie, what do you want me to say?” You sighed and stopped at the red light. “I don’t know, maybe how things are working with you and Roger? Where are you guys?” “I guess it’s pretty clear to everyone where we are, after what happened today we have the proof that maybe I will only be a secret lover for him. I don’t know Fred.” You turned to look at him “I feel like our relationship came to the finish line”. And that was the first time you left Freddie Mercury without a word to say. Once the light turned green again you started to drive again, The Beatles singing to the notes of I Should Have Known Better, what a coincidence for such a moment. You could have stayed silent but you decided that once you started it you could as well finish it. “I don’t know, I feel like we will never have a normal relationship. I don’t want to be a secret but I guess that this is all I will ever get from him.” “(Y/N), he’s a married man, what were you expecting? You knew from the first moment that you slept with him what you were going through.” Freddie’s frankness almost brought tears to your eyes. But after all he was right, you knew it since the beginning and his words were what you told yourself everyday. “You introduced me to Roger, it’s also your fault if I’m this shit situation” you chuckled trying to ease the moment. “Oh no darling, don’t try to use that card.” “(Y/N), I think I never introduced to Roger” Freddie said as his arm laid around your waist. You went to see a Queen concert as your friend Freddie asked you to attend one since you both were in the same town. The blonde drummer smirked as he got closer to you and Freddie. “No Freddie, you kept her all to yourself” he said “I’m Roger” he introduced himself holding his hand out. “(Y/N)” you replied shaking his hand. In that moment Freddie waved to a person who was distant from you “I will come back soon, I’ll leave you two here.” But before leaving he turned around looking at you “Be careful (Y/N), Roger does bite.” “What should that mean?” You asked  chuckling while looking at the drummer. “Oh, I have no idea” But both of you knew what Freddie meant. Roger was well known for his reputation with women, even his marriage didn’t stop his bad habit of flirting with girls after a concert and then eventually bring them in his hotel room. What you both didn’t knew was that it wouldn’t have been a one night stand, it wouldn’t have been a fling. After that night Roger would have kept calling you every night, asking if you were free, if he could see you, if you would go to see his concert. Then he would come to see you on set, making sure that no one would see him he sneak on your trailer. “I was bored and thought that a quick shag wouldn’t be a bad idea”. What you both didn’t know was that you would have end up falling for each other.

As you walked down the hallway of your flat complex you could recognize the figure of a blonde man sat on the floor right in front of your door, his back against it. You sighed recognizing Roger. “Roger-” you said taking the keys of your flat from your bag, but before you could continue he stopped you. He knew you were about to tell him that you wanted him to go to his family, so he just said “We argued.” It took you a minute to get who the “we” was referred to and then you understood, it was him and his wife. Hearing him talk about his problem with his wife was really the last thing you wanted to do in that hell of a day, but how could you tell no to him? So, after opening the door you gestured for him to walk inside. “Do you want to talk about it?” You asked taking off your coat and putting it on the hanger, Roger mimicked you “She didn’t believe you were only Freddie’s friend, she kept saying that you came there with me.” You nodded walking to the couch and sat down, you wanted to be sure that you had something to hold you for the conversation you were about to have. “I kept telling her that it wasn’t true, that you were there only for Freddie and nothing more but she continued stating that I was lying. So i stormed out of the house” he stopped for a few seconds to see your reaction but you said nothing. “I told her I would have spent the night at Brian’s.” But he wasn’t at Brian’s house, he was there with you, he would have spent the night, again, at your place. Roger moved to the couch and sat down. “I couldn’t tell her the truth.” You nodded, again, that was killing him, he kept talking just to see a reaction from you. Your silence was the worst feeling, were you giving up on him? “It wasn’t the right way to tell her the truth, not while arguing.” His fingers reached for your hand which was laying on your leg, he needed you to do something, even just playing with his fingers, an usual habit of yours, you did it any time your hands brushed against each other. But nothing, you just nodded once more. “I couldn’t end my marriage in that way, you understand right?” “I do” you said softly, those words sent vibrations throughout Roger’s body, finally you were speaking, yes, they were only two words but they were enough for him. He moved closer towards you laying his head on your shoulder, your hands started to play with his hair and Roger smiled kissing softly your neck. “But I will eventually do it, I will tell her about us.” The blonde man looked up at you. “You know it, right?” he needed confirmations from you. You looked down at him, your fingers playing with the locks of hair that touched the back of his neck “I know” But you knew he wouldn’t do it, he was about to leave for the tour and stay away for two months. His wife would have stayed at home and he surely wouldn’t tell her that he was having an affair with another woman the day before leaving for a tour. You were pretty sure he wouldn’t do it even after that he would have been back. “You’re still coming on tour, right?” he asked taking you away from your thoughts. “Of course I am” you looked at him with a reassuring gaze. His hands found your waist pulling you closer and making you sit on his lap. You straddle him to face him, your hands on both sides of his neck “Good, cause I was afraid that after what happened today you might have changed your mind.” You shook your head as your fingertips drew lines on his skin. “I didn’t. You know how long I’ve waited for this tour to come. I want to stay by your side all day and night, you may even get annoyed for how much time I will stay next to you.” You chuckled lightly getting the same reaction from Roger. “I would never get bored of you” His face hid on the crook of your neck as his hands were on your back holding you as close as possible. “I don’t want to lose you” Your heart ached, his voice was trembling. You could hear the fear of losing you in his words and you only wanted to reassure him, tell him that you were going nowhere and that you would stay with him forever, but you knew this wasn’t the truth. As for now you couldn’t promise him that you would stay always by his side. So you just held him against you tightly, your lips against his temple leaving tender kisses. “If you leave me my heart will break in million pieces.” “I won’t leave you” you wanted to say that while looking him in his eyes but you couldn’t, you couldn’t lie while looking at him straight in his blue eyes. How could leave someone who wasn’t even yours? You were both lying down on the couch, facing each others. You were both silent for at least ten minutes, Roger’s arm didn’t leave your waist. Your fingers were tracing his outline, going up from his arm, then his shoulder, his neck, his jawline, his cheek, his forehead, as they traced down his nose he closed his eyes just to open them when he felt your fingertips on his lips. He left sweet  kisses on your fingers and you smiled not looking away from his eyes. “What are you thinking?” Roger asked putting a lock of your hair behind your ear, Your brain kept telling you not to answer his question as you would only end up harmed. But your heart was so light yet filled with love for that man in front of you at the same time, and in that moment you decided to listen to your most irrational organ. “Today, when I saw you with your son...I never saw you in that scenario.” You intertwined your fingers with his “And it made me think if, if we could ever have something like that.” And right there you felt the most stupid person in the planet. Were you really asking Roger if you would ever have children? Were you really talking about babies with your secret lover? “Of course we will love” Roger replied to you, and to him it wasn’t a stupid thought, he was serious and the fact that you were thinking about children with him gave him hope that he wasn’t losing you. “I will give you everything you’ve ever wanted. We will have our own family.”  He didn’t even give you the time to reply that his lips were on yours, a kiss full of love and both of yours and his hands were roaming each other’s bodies. The way he could take your breath away just by small gestures was still inexplicable to you.

You alarmclock advised you that it was time for you to wake up, even though you didn’t have to work you had plenty things to do like packing your stuff for the tour and then you promised Freddie you two would have met, and you knew that would have take your whole afternoon. Still with closed eyes you brought the sheet up to your naked back as you felt a cold shiver down your spine. You stretched your arm to the other side of your bed finding an empty spot. Your eyes opened at this time but, unlike the previous morning, you didn’t looked around the room to find some evidence that Roger were still in your house. You already knew he was gone back to his family.