#saviwrites

tears and kisses

you tell me what i need to hear while putting my hair behind my ear

you say we’re best friends

i’d call you someone i care about

i take care of you when you’re sick

you make sure i eat after i cry

we argue about laundry and clothes and music

and i cook and you clean

we’re not best friends

but if that’s the only way i can keep you around

when someone takes a picture of you

it reveals how they truly feel

and the pictures you take of me

are full of smiles

teeth and gums and eyes closed

oblivious to the shutter’s snap

hoping, praying that maybe the pictures you take

starched covers still shielding the sin of what we did

under the moon’s pensive gaze

but i am alright with how it came to be

the floors are cold to the touch

almost as cold as you were to me, at the start

but that’s how it is

everything is a reminder of you

no matter where i go or what i do

you are there

in the faces on the train

in the stars in the sky

in the laughs i hear at work

in the fire of my hearth

you are there

and i figure that is where you’re meant to be - after all this time.

i’m pacing your kitchen

the floor to ceiling window let in a stream of light

a lazy orange haze

equal parts intoxicating, dehabilitating

i thought about telling you the secret

i can’t

i shouldn’t really

but that light

the warmth it channeled made me delirious

and as the sweet scent of citrus lingered on my fingertips

i ran my hands along your jaw

and told you the secret

“i love you”