Ae Manpura Mangaiye
This is the full OS- I am clearly OBSESSED WITH modern first meets.
*******
Aparajit Ravi was excited for the Bharatanatyam program he was going for. He usually loved Bharatanatyam, being a dancer himself. However, something about this program hit different, in the very being of his soul.
He looked at himself in the mirror critically. He had chosen what is often called pattu pitambharam, the colour Krishna is said to wear famously. Something had told him this was the right kurta for this program. He quietly smiled when he saw the mirage of a peacock feather on the mirror.
Kanaka Sridhar.
Never had he met her, yet her dance felt etched in every inch of him, the romantic in him awakened since his best friend Rudra had told him about her.
Speaking of, Rudra had been throwing him a knowing look since he mentioned Kanaka, and Balaram Anna, Aparajit's elder brother, had taken cues from Rudra. This was so normal in Aparajit's life, but somehow, this time, everything felt different.
"You ready, Ajit?" Rudra asked with an innocent smile, dressed in olive green and wearing his calm smile with mischievous tints only Aparajit knew and understood. His best friend was up to something, mused Aparajit, even as he nodded in affirmation.
"I am, but..." Aparajit rarely faltered, but in front of Rudra, he had no reason to not.
"But?"
"Something about today feels signficant, Rudra. What is going on?"
"You will see at the dance program, Ajit. Come come," Rudra smirked mischievously, causing Aparajit to groan. His best friend was hiding something from Him, but Rudra could also not be cajoled.
Definitely not to tell Aparajit what He wanted to know badly.
"Come on, Kanna," Balaram added, the tone of His voice a smirk Aparajit knew all too well. The latter looked at His elder brother with big, hopeful eyes, but Balaram shook His head.
"You are getting nothing out of me. Come, let us go."
***
A strange nervousness filled Kanaka that day, as she sat in the make up room of Sivagami Petachi auditorium. It felt like life was coming to a full circle. This was the place she had done her Arangetram too, and it was incredibly special to her.
Yet, the strange butterflies in her stomach surprised her. Kanaka adored dancing, and when she danced, she was in the zone of Vishnu, as she loved to call it.
When she danced, she always lost herself to the music, the movement, the emotions, and in the world of Keshava. She felt that anything that was there was Krishna's, and whatever she did was for Him as well.
Moreover, the dance today was entirely Vishnu focused- She was starting with a Shabdham on Venugopala, then doing Innam En Manam varnam, composed by Lalgudi G Jayaraman. This was to be followed by two padams for a change, one being Aasai Mugam melded with Kaakai Siraginile, bringing together two masterpieces by Bharatiyar, and another a small padam Chaliye Kunjanamo, written by Swati Thirunal. Finally, she was to do Kalinga Narthana Thillana by Oothukadu Venkatasubba Iyer.
Today was the greatest exhilaration for her, and yet.. she felt her life will change with this performance. She reached for her handbag and pulled out the little Navaneeta Gopala, her lucky charm, and stared at Him for a moment. His little face was the greatest strength in her life.
She took a large breath and whispered, "Kanna, whatever you do, it is always for the best."
Girija and Medha buzzed in, and Kanaka looked at her best friends, smiling quietly.
"He is up to something," Kanaka said, feeling tears wet her eyes for some reason. But this was her best friends, who adored Krishna as their elder brother.
"He loves you, Kanu," Medha hugged her gently. "All will be well, you will see."
***
Aparajit felt an excitement fill him, as the compere for the day started speaking. He saw Rudra jolt mildly, and looked at his best friend. He had realized what was going on without being said; Aparajit patted Rudra's arm in support and turned back to the stage.
The sound of the salangai from backstage was a steady cadence, a sound his heart seemed to recognize. He smiled, eyes eager on the stage, when she walked in to the Thodaya Mangalam, the start of any dance program.
And he froze.
Tham thana tham thana kangal sontham solla
tham thana tham thana kangal sontham solla
His heart hummed that his vision was for her- this is why he had been born, in fact. He watched the inordinate grace that had become her being, and he knew that this dance will be one for the ages.
Idhayathin mozhiya ippothu ezhudhungal pallaviyai
He watched her start her Shabdham on Venugopala, and an awareness thrummed through his veins. The way she did it was as if she had given herself to Venugopala, as if He were all she wanted, needed and wished for.
And this was not the focus of the Shabdham. To any layman, her Bhakti will be clear. But to Aparajit's eyes, Kanaka's samarpanam to Krishna was the highest of awakenings, somehow.
It was as if... no, there is no way that is true.
Ae Manpura Mangaiye, Nillaayo?
He watched her go backstage with longing eyes as she finished the Shabdham, clapping loudly. He knew his eyes spoke of stars, but that is what she was made of; an ethereal woman, dancing as if she was an illusion on Earth.
Semadhulai vaai mozhi, sollaayo?
He smiled to himself when those words came to his mind. She was indeed beyond an apsara even, her beauty, he felt in his heart, was like Thirumagal... the One meant for Aparajit.
"You see now, don't you?" Rudra whispered knowingly, and Aparajit nodded.
"I see now, Rudra."
And she entered with Innam En Manam, making Aparajit's heart stutter. Bhamae, his heart whispered, delight filling him. My heart, his soul whispered, as he watched Kanaka in an energetic jathi.
She was speaking to him, his veins throbbed.
en kalithogai muraiyil paadugirai
en kalithogai muraiyil paadugirai
en kurunthogai mozhiyil pesugirai
en paamara mozhiyil paadayo
Aparajit watched as Satyabhama asked Krishna why He had forgotten Her, Kanaka embodying Satyabhama Herself. He felt like He could see a peacock feather floating around Kanaka, a symbol of Krishna in Her very presence.
Unexpectedly, their eyes met when she was finishing the jathi, and he froze. Those eyes... like the wide petals of the blue Lotus, ever expanding... oh, he had always known those eyes.
kangal paarthen kavi aanen
innum paarthal enge poven
And yet, he could not look away. Just a glimpse of her had given meaning to his life in a way he had never felt before. A type of energy filled him, the union of the inner shakti with the body, or so it felt like.
unnale kamban thaanduven
un idazh mele... ezhudhuven
He smiled a little when Kanaka did the whole Krishna cajoling a purposely pouting Satyabhama. Satyabhama seemed to always know that Her husband loved cajoling Her out of Her pouts and sulks at some mischief He has done. It was all an ethereal Leela of the couple who had chosen to make Their love as human as it is Divine.
Their eyes met again, and his heart sang- a powerful melody of an ancient feeling.
ae manpura mannava, nillaayo
en paamara vaarthaiyil, sollaayo
ae manpura mannava ae manpura mannava
The sweet pleas of Satyabhama cajoling a supposedly sulking Krishna stunned Aparajit's heart, for he could feel himself living the very scene. He knew a smile akin to nostalgia had touched his face, but his eyes were rapt on Kanaka alone, his mind zoning out of everything but her.
The varnam ended as SatyabhamaKrishna reconciled, and Aparajit felt a tear fall down his cheek. Usually he would wipe it off.
But not this time.
No.
This time, he would rejoice.
In the love, in the awakening, and in the flutter of the most ancient truth of all.
******
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